Me And Pookie On Date :3 (send Help)

Me and Pookie on date :3 (send help)

Deadly Indifference | one-shot

Deadpool X M!Reader

tw: swearing, mentions of sew a slide thoughts (from both tbh)

Summary: Deadpool wants you to show emotion. (And bugs the crap out of you.)

You sat tied to a chair, remarkably composed despite the circumstances. It’s been your third time getting kidnapped this week and it’s only Tuesday. The man who kidnapped you must’ve died already because a man in red and black walked through the door. He mimed the motion of up and down that you felt too familiar to notice.

“Hey there, buddy,” Deadpool chimed cheerfully, pacing around you. The ropes that tied your wrists to the chair felt surprisingly loose.“You know, most people would be sweating their balls off right about now. But, you’re just chillin’. I like that.”

You glanced up at him with a mild shrug, a gesture that only seemed to fuel Deadpool’s curiosity.

He’s a chatterbox.

“I gotta admit,” Deadpool continued, leaning in close with an exaggerated whisper, his mouth touching your ear. “I’m kinda into this whole ‘I don’t give a crap if Deadpool kills me’ vibe you’ve got going on. It’s refreshing. It’s… kinda hot.”

You raised an eyebrow, your expression betraying a hint of amusement. What is he even saying?

“Are we gonna do this or what?” you asked, your voice flat.

Deadpool stepped back, putting a hand to his chest in mock offense. “Wow, straight to the point! I like it. No foreplay, just bam, let’s get this show on the road. Alright, let’s see if I can make you squeal.”

“Good luck with that,” you replied dryly.

“Okay, tough guy,” Deadpool muttered, starting to circle you with exaggerated steps. “You know, most people are all ‘Oh no, Deadpool, please don’t hurt me! I have a family!’” He gave a side eye (somehow?) through the mask. Or they’ll say ‘No, I haven’t closed my tabs and my web browser history isn’t deleted!’ But you, you’re just sitting there like you’re waiting for your Uber Eats.”

“I did order some food before I got kidnapped,” you replied. “It might be waiting outside.”

Deadpool paused, tilting his head. “What did you get?”

“Chimichangas,” you said with a faint hunger in your eyes.

Deadpool’s eyes widened behind his mask. “You’re serious?”

“Yep. Thought I’d try them out.”

Deadpool’s posture relaxed, and he leaned against the back of your chair. Putting his arm on top of your head like you’ve been childhood best friends. “You know, I like you. You’ve got style. Most people don’t appreciate a good chimichanga.”

He said, as if he wasn’t trying to kill you two minutes prior.

“Are we going somewhere with this?” you asked, your tone still indifferent. You brought this question up a second time. Was he still trying to kill you?

“Right, right, getting sidetracked,” Deadpool said, snapping back to the task at hand. “So, here’s the deal: I’m gonna try and scare the crap out of you, and you’re gonna react like a normal human being. Got it?”

“Sure,” you agreed, not sounding convinced.

“Alright!” Deadpool clapped his hands together. “Let’s start with something simple. How about… I cut off a finger?”

You held up your hand, which was still loosely tied. “You gonna untie me first, or do I do it myself?”

Deadpool rolled his eyes. “You’re really killing the vibe here, you know that?”

You shrugged again. “Look, man, it’s been a long week. Just get on with it.”

Deadpool sighed dramatically. “Okay, okay. Plan B.” He suddenly leaned in close, his voice dropping to a menacing whisper. “We are going to start an only fans.”

You looked at him, deadpan. “Seriously? No one is going to pay for that shit.”

“Hey, people totally dig the whole “I got kidnapped by a hot anti-hero and now I’m slowly falling for them.” Deadpool retorted, pointing at the screen, hoping whoever reading this did not have a watt pad phase.

“This is ridiculous,” you muttered.

“You’re right,” Deadpool said, standing up straight and tossing the a coin aside. “You know what? You’re impossible to scare. So, I’m gonna make you wish you’d never crossed paths with me.”

Without warning, he drew one of his katanas and sliced a shallow cut across your cheek. The cold steel was sharp, precise, and for the first time, you felt a sting of pain.

The burn of cut flesh.

“Finally,” you muttered, almost relieved.

Deadpool noticed the change in your eyes—the hint of happiness, the glimmer of anticipation. He smirked under his mask, raising the blade as if to deliver the final blow.

You closed your eyes, ready to embrace the end. But then, nothing.

You opened your eyes to find Deadpool standing there, the blade poised but unmoving. He tilted his head, studying your reaction.

“Aw, were you actually looking forward to that?” Deadpool asked, his tone mockingly sweet.

Your expression darkened, and anger flared in your eyes. “You…”

Deadpool sheathed his katana, chuckling. “Gotcha. ❤︎ Think I’m going to let you die? Nah, you’re my new piss boy!”

“You are such an ass,” you snapped, genuinely pissed off now.

Deadpool laughed heartily, clearly enjoying your frustration. “Finally! A reaction! See? I knew you had it in you.”

He ruffled your disheveled hair. “Who’s a good boy?”

You glared at him, what a loser. “Actually fucking kill yourself.”

“Not today,” Deadpool said, still chuckling. He untied your ropes with a flourish. “Let’s go get those chimichangas.”

As the two of you headed out of the warehouse, you couldn’t help but shake your head at the absurdity of it all. Were you getting kidnapped again? Did it count if you voluntarily? Would Deadpool ever shut up and just kill you?

“So,” Deadpool said, slinging an arm around your shoulders. “How’s your spice tolerance?”

“Depends,” you replied. “Are you paying?”

“You wish.” Deadpool chuckled.

Bitch.

a/n: Lowkey kinda cringed. But eh. Can’t wait for the deadpool and wolverine movie to come out so I can write for the two of them. (making out) feel free to request :)

law’s weakness

hey gang 😼

hey love :3 🥰🥰 wonderful to have u on here <333

me: lookism art is amazing. The facial expressions are just so realistic and relatable tbh.

lookism art:

Saving You Again | one-shot

Miguel O’Hara X M!Reader

Summary: You’re a scientist who’s always in the wrong situation at the wrong time. Lucky your neighborhood (grumpy) spider-man is here to save the day.

Nueva York, 2099.

The towering skyscrapers and neon lights painted a vibrant picture of the future, but inside the sleek halls of Alchemax, things were as chaotic as ever.

“Not again,” Miguel muttered to himself as alarms blared through the building. He raced down the corridors, already knowing who was responsible.

You.

As he reached the lab, he found you surrounded by an enormous pile of ash and smoke, frantically trying to shut down an overloading machine.

“Move!” Miguel barked, shoving you aside with surprising gentleness before his hands flew over the controls, quickly stabilizing the system.

You looked up at him with a sheepish grin. “Thanks, Spider-man! Luckily you are bigger nerd than me.”

Miguel sighed, giving you a glare. “That’s not what matters.”

Despite his stern words, there was a softness in his eyes. This wasn’t the first time he’d had to save you from one of your own experiments. In fact, it had become a regular occurrence.

A bit too regular.

“Seriously, [Name],” Miguel continued, his tone exasperated yet affectionate. You got in trouble enough times Spider-man knew your name! (Or maybe it was on your name tag.)

“One of these days, you’re going to blow up the entire lab.”

You laughed, scratching the back of your head. “But then you wouldn’t have anything to do.”

Miguel rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Let’s just move you to a safer position.”

As he escorted you out of the lab, you slapped his shoulder with enthusiasm. Despite his gruff exterior, Spider-man always seemed to be there for you, protecting you from your own recklessness.

“Yo, Spidey! Next time we meet if you save me again we should go out to eat.”

The masked man stared at you, shook his head, and pinched the bridge of his nose. You thought that meant no but his reply was a tiny whisper.

“Sure.”

.—🕷️—.

The second time it happened, you were in the middle of recalibrating a plasma conduit. One wrong move sent the entire system into overdrive, and the containment field started to fail.

“Ahh! Fucking run guys!” you screamed, dodging a burst of energy.

The other scientists on your lab team dashed out of the room, exiting the building. You turned to leave but then spotted your manga comic you had been reading and didn’t finish.

You’re not wasting a good ten bucks of illustration and hot men!

A blast of power was hit in your direction but something grabbed your waist pulling backwards. You watched your manga obliterate right in front of your eyes.

Damn.

Spider-man appeared almost instantly, his enhanced reflexes allowing him to shut down the conduit before it could explode. He turned to you, a mix of frustration and relief in his eyes.

At least, you thought so. He kinda had a masked on.

“Seriously?” he huffed, his tone tired, like he just wanted to flop down on the couch on Young Sheldon or something. “How do you keep getting into these situations?”

You cracked a nervous smile. “Luck? I mean I’m a scientist, c’mon!”

He sighed, shaking his head. “You need to be more careful.”

This dude seemed to sigh a lot around you.

You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his. “Wanna grab an early dinner now?”

Miguel hesitated, his mask concealing his expression but not the uncertainty in his body language. After a brief pause, he nodded. “Alright, fine..but understand that you don’t need to repay me. This is my job.”

Your eyes lit up, and you couldn’t help but grin. “I know a great place that sells empanadas just a few blocks from here. And hey, can’t I just take you somewhere and call it a date?”

Spider-man chuckled softly, the sound muffled by his mask. (But you sure it was a laugh.) “Yes, I suppose? Let’s get the carne ones though.”

The fact that you were walking next to a superhero, it felt like a fever dream. You chatted about trivial things, from your favorite manga series to the latest advancements in tech.

(Not sure, if it’s allowed to be leaked but since it’s Spider-Man it’s okay.)

When you finally reached the restaurant. Spider-Man removed his mask just enough to eat, revealing a sharp jawline and striking features. It was a rare sight, one that made you appreciate the man behind the Spider-man persona even more.

Woah. Was that fangs? ᡣ𐭩

Hot.

“Wow, you look…ho— cool!” you spoke, giving him a feral grin.

He rolled his eyes but couldn’t suppress a smile. “Yeah, well, don’t get used to it.”

As you both dug into your food, the conversation flowed effortlessly. Despite his gruff exterior, Miguel had a dry sense of humor that you found endearing. He told you stories of his past escapades, and you shared some of your own, albeit less heroic, adventures.

Like the time you ate cookies that had marijuana by accident and thought you were going to die.

After finishing your meal, the two of you walked back towards Alchemax, the city lights reflecting off the sleek surfaces of the buildings. There was a comfortable silence between you, a mutual understanding that didn’t require words.

“Thanks for dinner,” Miguel said, his tone softer than usual. “And seriously, try to stay out of trouble.”

You nodded, giving him a playful salute. “Yes, sir. No more exploding labs.” A small grin forming on your lips. “No promises though.”

He gave you a lingering look, as if trying to gauge your sincerity, before finally nodding.

“Take care.”