Hey Law, I Love You! :)

Hey law, I love you! :)

Tagged by @shiny-jr (ty for choosing me!! BROSKI)

favorite color? greennnnn 💚 I love shrek, zoro, dinos, and jade so r u surprised? ✨😼

last song? Taking what’s not yours - tv girl!! Ik ppl call tv girl trash by my music taste would be considered “virgin” 😭 so yeah. Ex: weezer, Radiohead, defttones, megadeth etc. if u like em I like u 😊🫶

currently watching? Uhhh I just started rewatching hxh with cousin but besides that breaking bad and I’m going to watch daredevil soon. So maybe you’ll see talk about that soon.

currently craving? nothing right now. But I want breakfast so maybe potato pancakes and/or bacon burger thingy from Burger King. Sorry chat, I’m a fatass confirmed.✅

coffee or tea? ok y’all will hate me but probably coffee. BUTT I’m not a big fan of either coffee makes me shit and burns my tongue and I have history with tea 🍵 sooo orange juice gang :>

tagging: @corvinafeathers, @twolitwicksinatrenchcoat, @thelittleprincz, @hinami-abcde, @damnbigguy :3 plz do it guys!!!

​༉‧₊˚.​ get to know me better !! ♡

— 𝜗𝜚 thank u @cosmiiwrites nd @queenofmistresses for the tags, my lovies <3 i love u both

favorite color? pink!! i love pink!! you know the colour of hello kitty’s bow? pink!! my melo? pink!! my socks rn? pink!! did i mention my favourite colour is pink?

last song? someday - from the zombies soundtrack (banger)

currently reading? i finished the hurricane wars by thea guanzon a few days ago so im using this as an excuse to tell you to read it n i loved it so much but im currently starting (only a chapter in) a feather so black by lyra selene

currently watching? i don’t think i am watching anything… i last watched the zombies movies though… (im not obsessed you are)

currently craving? NOODS ugh i could demolish some noodles rn

coffee or tea? yes.

@nebulacrumbs @blooming-crimson-flower @hellsgreatestslut @lilsleepybear1029 @ustulia tag you’re it <3

Can You Not?

Deadpool x Gn!Reader x Wolverine

summary: You’re supposed to be Althea’s caretaker ever since Wade hired you. Too bad for everyone because you’re not the sharpest tool in the shed.

“Well, it’s you and me, Al.” You put a hand on your waist.

“Hell no.” She responded.

“Yeah, I'm really glad Wade and Logan hired me but…” Rubbing the back of your head. “I’ve never done this kind of stuff.”

“Just don’t kill me.”

Your jaw hung low.

—

The first thing Deadpool and Wolverine noticed when they entered their home was the unmistakable sound of something large and metallic clanging against porcelain. The scene that greeted them was something neither of them had ever expected.

Deadpool, ever the optimist, rubbed his hands together with a mischievous grin. “Looks like someone’s having a bit of a rough day.”

Logan, ever the pragmatist, simply sighed and tried to make sense of the chaos. He followed Deadpool’s lead, heading towards the source of the noise. They found you stuck halfway inside the oven, with only your legs and feet visible as you frantically wiggled to get free.

It was a sight to behold.

“Uh, hey there, sugarplum. Need a hand?” Deadpool asked, struggling to suppress his laughter.

You looked up with wide, confused eyes, somehow managing a smile despite the awkward predicament. “Oh, hey! I was trying to get the… uh, cookies out, but I think they might’ve… escaped?”

Logan shook his head, muttering something under his breath as he approached and tried to pull you out. “Why on earth were you in the oven? What’s going on?”

“Well, I thought I’d give baking a shot, but then I… um, forgot the timer. And now it’s… well, sort of an oven mess.”

“Help me?” You asked sweetly.

The two shared a look and Wade rolled his sleeve up.

“Maximum effort.”

His grip on your legs was harsh and he really did try to pull you out. It sucked that your hair was stuck on a piece of the oven.

“AH— wait.”

Wade side eyed Logan. “A little help, peanut?”

Logan groaned, ripping you out from the oven.

You stumbled out with a sheepish grin. “Thanks.”

Deadpool peered inside the oven and groaned. “You’ve got a burnt lasagna in there and—are those… marshmallows?”

“Yeah, those were supposed to be for s’mores. I got a bit distracted.”

Logan’s brow furrowed as he examined the kitchen. “This place looks like a disaster zone.”

You nodded vigorously. “Oh, it’s been a bit of a day. I think I might’ve accidentally blown up the toilet earlier, too.”

Deadpool looked alarmed. “What do you mean, ‘blew up the toilet’?”

“Well, I was trying to clean it and used way too much cleaner and we ordered taco be—” You started to explain before being interrupted by a loud whoosh from the bathroom.

Logan, facepalming, grumbled, “What now?”

You shuffled over to the bathroom to reveal a very unhappy, very dirty toilet and a cloud of cleaner fumes that were just thrown in there. The scene was nothing short of disastrous. “Oops,” you mumbled.

“I think we’ve seen enough for today,” Deadpool said, trying to regain his composure. “Maybe we should help Al and then figure out how to get you out of trouble.”

You were just about to agree when the sound of wood splintering from the bedroom caught their attention. Deadpool and Logan rushed to find the bed in ruins, you sitting amid the wreckage with a distressed look on your face.

“I was just trying to fix the bed,” you explained, “but I might’ve used the wrong tools and, uh, now there’s a lot of splinters.”

“And broken bed.”

Logan couldn’t help but chuckle despite himself. “You know, it’s impressive how you manage to get into so much trouble with the simplest of tasks.”

Deadpool, ever the same, added, “You should really consider writing a memoir or something. ‘How to fuck everything, 101.”

“Probably. That’s what my mother always used to say.”

“Don’t compare me to your mother! I am your love interest in this. Call Logan your mommy instead.”

“Don’t.”

You gave a salute. “Got it, boss.”

Just as they were starting to clean up the mess, you decided to help with the repairs. You grabbed a nearby broom to sweep up the splinters, but in your enthusiasm, you tripped over a mug on the floor, sending it crashing to the ground.

“Oops!” you exclaimed, stumbling and accidentally knocking a cup of coffee into Wolverine’s lap. Now it looked like if he problems with peeing because it seemed like brown piss.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry, Logan! Maybe, you can borrow my pants?”

Logan growled, and before he could react, a puff of smoke billowed from the nearby fireplace. You had unwittingly knocked a can of lighter fluid onto the logs, and now Wolverine was on fire!

He still looked hot though. Maybe even hotter since he was on fire!

“Wait, is that… oh crap!” Deadpool shouted, rushing over with a towel to smother the flames. “Not the flaming Wolverine!”

Logan rolled his eyes, trying to pat out the fire while glaring at you. “Seriously? You set me on fire, bub?”

“You’re alright now!” Deadpool said, grinning despite the chaos. “Let’s just move on to…”

Before Deadpool could finish, you tripped over the broom you’d been using, falling face-first into a potted plant. Dirt and leaves covered you as you lay there, looking completely bewildered.

You blinked once and then twice.

“I, uh, think I might’ve made things worse,” you said, emerging from the mess with a dirt-streaked face.

Logan sighed deeply but a small smile stayed on his face. “It’s like every time we turn around, you find a new way to cause trouble.”

Deadpool tried to stifle his laughter, though he was clearly failing. “You’re like a red flag at this point!”

“So are you though?” You spoke.

Logan snorted.

After hours of cleaning up and attempting to salvage what they could, Deadpool and Logan finally managed to get everything back in order. Blind Al, who had been observing the entire spectacle with a mix of amusement and exasperation, shook her head as she sipped her tea.

“Thanks for the help,” Al said dryly. “And for not setting the house on fire.”

You, still covered in a mixture of dirt and embarrassment, nodded. “I’ll try to be less of a disaster next time.”

Deadpool clapped you on the back. “It’s all part of the adventure. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Condoms, hopefully.”

Logan, though exhausted, managed a small smile. “Here’s hoping it’s a bit less eventful.”

“So, I come here tomorrow too?”

“No you’re fired.”

“damn.”

a/n: me writing for the both of them bc I don’t find any for this 😭🙏🙏🙏 where r the chefs cooking?

me wondering if I prefer ass or tits bc of these mfs:

😭🫶 thank u queen!!! I love giving that male reader content :3

Any male reader recommendations on quotev or wattpad? I see you started one male reader fic and I am in need of more to satiate my thirst 😫😫 any fandom (even yandere) is fine 💕

LOL, I HAVE TWO MALE READER FICS AS OF NOW. Game Over! & Lovebombing:33, and 3 more to come, probably!

AHHHH MY RECOMMENDATIONS R MY LOVELY MOOTS! THEY’RE REALLY GOOD AT WRITING AND IT’S SO ENTERTAINING AND BRAINROT-WORTHY🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

PREPARE FOR A YAPPING SESSION!

@kagurasama-notes (Quotev & Wattpad), ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORSSS, her writing puts me to shame with how good it is frr, i’m telling you, her book corpse darling gave me a literal brainrot. SHE’S SO LOVELY ASWELL AS HER BOOKS, I LOVE HER & HER BOOKS SM<333 SHE’S THE ONE WHO INSPIRED ME TO WRITE MALE READER BOOKS! Every twist and turn keeps me on the edge, and I can’t help but think, “How does she even come up with this stuff” AKSKSKJXJJXS MY #1 RECOMMENDATION!🫶🏻🥹

@dilvei (both on quotev and wattpad) i’m inlove with idrisssss, dilvei’s really good at writing and her writing style is just so yummyyyy, dilvei has loads of male reader stories, and her dragon x male reader is jsttt chef’s kiss, idris literally has me on a choke-hold. Dilvei is serving a 5star meal with her books!:33🫶🏻

@dinodaweeb (quotev) THEY’RE A REALLY GOOD WRITER & THEIR BOOKS AND ONESHOTS R FIREEE, M’TOTALLY INLOVE W THEIR FIC “EAT OR BE EATEN”, THEIR WRITING IS ON TOPPPP

@airenxys / @aerusraemin his writing is saurr good and the plots and the dialogues on his fics is so good and is literally so entertaining, his writing style is really pretty & i wanna cryyyy I literally adore him and his ficsss, his fic “crimson tryst” w yandere!yoriichi HAS ME TOTALLY HOOKED. HE’S MY CO-AUTHOR ON GAME OVER:3

Airovesterism (Quotev) HIS WRITING IS SO PRETTY, AND HIS BOOK ASSASSINATE (Quotev) & Till the water turns red (Ao3) IS SO GOOD, I’M INLOVE WITH HIS MC’S🫶🏻🫶🏻 his writing style is an eye-candy

D1v1n (Quotev) HER STORIES R FIREEE, I LOVE HER WRITING STYLE, IT’S SO GORG I SWEARRRRR, I WANNA CRYYYY. I LOVE HR AND HER BOOKSSS

ANYWAYSS, THAT’S ALL SJKSKSJS, i don’t rlly read that much so i don’t have much of recommendations since yk, i rarely read and sometimes get lazy in the middle of reading and just drop it😭😭 BUT YEAH, THAT’S ALL:3 i was gonna recommend my pookies but they’re on ao3😭😭 buttt, if you want ‘em ao3 writers that write for male readers, hereee! @terrorbladewho, (the original author of lovebombing) @keegan, & Oracledust.

Sooo what r we feeling?