"Why Yes, Yes I Am, Beautiful," Blitzo Replied Without Missing A Beat. "I'm Blitzo. The O Is Silent--but

"Why yes, yes I am, beautiful," Blitzo replied without missing a beat. "I'm Blitzo. The O is silent--but for you," he purred, twining his tail loosely up Asmodeus's leg, "I could make an exception to that rule."

Totally acceptable pickup line, right?

He had been looking around for his mark, and for a second there was sure he'd spotted them, but then the big dang chicken was there. Tall, muscular, feathery, flaming, fuck, what was there not to love? And he even smelled good. God damn it. Of course Asmodeus was stupidly attractive, the imp knew, but knowing absolutely did not equate to experiencing that first hand...

Maybe the murder could wait a while. It wasn't time-sensitive, from what he understood, it was just petty. Why not focus on this handsome chunk of artwork standing in front of him?

"So. Nice party. Good speech up there. You've got a really masterful presence. Really good at captivating attention--you've certainly got mine, Daddy."

@doublejango closed starter

Throughout this entire day he felt nothing but stressed, getting ready for the launch party that was tonight. Asmodeus got up early that morning to be able to start getting things ready to go. He had a lot to do today. Now that it was getting closer to the party he felt like he could finally relax a little. Everything had already been checked on to make sure it was good to go, so he shouldn't have to worry about anything going wrong.

After getting dressed up, he was ready to head out to the party. He was in an outfit that hid some of his hair, looking a little bit more laid back and casual. As he arrived, he noticed that people were starting to flood in. A smile on his face as he already began to make his rounds amongst the others. Thanking them for coming.

Eventually he made his way up to the podium so that he could give his speech. After that was finished, people were free to continue to dance and have a good time. While making his way down from the stage, he wasn't expecting to run into a familiar imp. "Oh, you're um Blitz right?" Asmodeus asked as he looked down at the other. He remembered hearing that name from his business partner.

This... this was Lucifer? The real Lucifer? The actual--

Fuck.

Blitzo's jaw dropped. He had just raised a hand to interject something when the man turned into a horse (and what a beautiful horse; all horses were perfect in Blitzo's eye, but that one was Perfect) with a snap of his fingers, and now the imp's hand fell back to his side very, very slowly, stunned. Because that hadn't just been casual shapeshifting. There was power there, real power, power that sizzled and crackled and left a tang on the air, that left no doubt about who or what this stranger was.

Running was probably a very good idea.

Maybe the only idea.

Blitzo was extremely tempted to do so, and even tensed up as he came out of his shock, preparing to do just that--but he stopped himself. If he ran now, when was he going to get another chance like this? To actually hang out with Lucifer? Who, as it turned out, was charismatic, friendly, intimidating, and a whole entire dangerous package all rolled up into one delightful little man? A delightful little man who could become a horse?

It was too late. Blitzo was already charmed. Hooked. Maybe enamored. Definitely going to get himself into hot water.

But, of course, he tried to play it cool. "Yeah," he said, and scratched at one of his horns way too casually, "I mean, sure. If you're offering, I uh, wouldn't mind spending some quality time with the biggest Daaaa-aaa..." Nope. No. Do Not. Do Fucking Not Call Lucifer Daddy. "Damned good um, leader. Like yourself."

Fuck. This was a train wreck. Not wanting to lose the opportunity, Blitzo put on a big grin and offered his hand.

"Let's try this again. Hi. I'm Blitzo, the O is silent. And I'd love to spend some time together. Working on any new creations or torments you'd like to show a big fan?"

It took a moment for Lucifer to register what Blitzo had said, but all of the sudden he doubled over laughing. "I can assure you that i'm the real thing, if there were any imposters you'd bet your ass I would have killed them already!"

With a snap of his fingers the demon turned himself into a beautiful horse.. minus the top hat before returning to his normal form.

"Buut if you do need a place to crash for a bit i'm sure I could find extra room somewhere." Lucifer was actually just avoid any of his responsibilities at the moment so in his mind this might just give him more time to shirk his duties.

"I don't exactly explore hell as much as I used to."

Rewatched 'Western Energy' and I was thinking Blitz sure would have left in that same van they rushed Stolas to the hospital in, huh?

This moment. This face. This is when I fell unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Blitzo. He is the worst employer ever, but wow, wow, I love this character and his dumb face and his dumb brain and his dumb lines and just. He's great. "Daddy likey dummy!" Like?? He said that and I lost it and am now eternally in love with this show.

When Lucifer's grin took on that sharper edge, his eyes a more dangerous glint, Blitzo stepped closer. Because, you know, he was smart that way. Lucifer was magnetic, and while Blitzo usually had a pretty healthy desire to keep himself at least relatively safe, was there even any point in trying to resist this guy? Lucifer was their king. The very damned reason any of them even existed. And he was hot--that grip of his, that promise that he could crush Blitzo like an eggshell and not even notice, that was nice. It all added up to a problem Blitzo was going to try and ignore... but then again, he'd never claimed to be anything but thirsty trash.

This guy was the bee's knees--

So why did he seem awkward, maybe even a little bit ashamed, about this passion project? He was literally carrying the rubber ducky around with him. There was no way he didn't love that little thing. It was great! A rubber duck that spat aside? Talk about chaos in a cute, compact little bundle. Blitzo started to grin one of his more devilish, delighted little grins, before a sadder thought crossed his mind.

Why?

Why was Lucifer doing this? And why was he just out on the street alone? Why wasn't this guy surrounded in adoring fans, letting them stoke his pride?

"I'll trade you," he offered, and pulled out a little horse figurine. Just plastic, no acid or flames about it, and he loved the damn thing. But fuck, Lucifer seemed like he really needed attention, and sharing toys, making trades, that was a good way to start a friendship, right? A friendship doomed to fail, Blitzo thought, knowing his own propensity for self-destruction, but damn it, he wanted to try. So, he held the horse out on his palm, meeting Lucifer's eyes with a surprising (for him) amount of sincerity in his own. "You know. If you want. I kind of love horses. But that duck? Now that is cool."

Lucifer was ever entertained by their entire interaction so far, the grin on his face maybe just a tad sinister than before but it was still inviting more or less.

He'd never heard of Blitzo, though he was actually excited to get to know him, possibly make a friend that wasn't someone his daughter thought he'd get along with.

"So glad to meet you too! And no need to ever be formal with me either, Lucifer is just fine." He winked shaking Blitzo's hand, even though he was small he had one hell of a grip.

"I do have something!" His eyes lit up but then his expression changed for a split second to embarrassment. There was so way he was going to tell someone he's trying to impress about his fire breathing rubber duckies. Playing it off like something else crossed his mind.

"I uh am sorta helping my daughter with her hotel but that's for another time.." Now he was the one getting a little nervous before letting out a sigh. "I'll be honest, i'm just a little rusty when it comes to random torture." drumming his fingers on his hip as he spoke. "I make these.." pulling off his hat Lucifer pulled out a very deranged looking rubber duck that when squeezed shot out acid. "They'd work great for weapons if anyone would use em."

for @moxxietude, because these two never have misadventures when they head off on missions together, right? they will definitely be fine.

Not Hell--

This wasn't Hell, but it might be the next worst thing. The hit was done, they'd sent some shitbag straight down and earned their pay, but Loona hadn't opened the portal to fetch them home yet. Which was fine. Really. Probably, anyway. Maybe? Definitely fine. Still, this wasn't even a town, much less a city. Cities were great. The denser they were, the dirtier they were, the less anybody ever looked over at a couple of imps slinking along. Nobody cared about gunshots or shouts in dense cities, but here?

This place was awful. They'd had to make the hit look like an accident. Thankfully, the law enforcement officers who were called up bought it, and nobody really seemed that perturbed, but it still rankled the pride. They were assassins, damn it. Not accidents.

Yeah, this place was the worst.

According to the sign, this little cluster of a few dozen cabins and chalets, up on the top of a mountain, was called Paradise Idylls. There were a few dozen RVs all neatly parked together like big fat white parasites, children running around in the bright sunshine. The smell of meat being cheerfully grilled with too much lighter fluid and not enough seasoning, the barking of a few happy dogs, splashes from a little pool...

A tiny mountain resort, high up in the pines, with just one long, winding dirt road leading in or out, probably hours from real civilization. A summer heatwave, a forest dry as tinder.

Back twitching under his jacket, feeling like at any moment someone was going to find them and probably use bear spray on them, Blitzo hunched down next to Moxxie in the relatively cool confines of a Facilities shed. As long as no maintenance crew came, they'd be fine in here. And if they did... Eh, there were some barrels, some tarps. Surely the two of them could hide--or Moxxie could, anyway. He was sneaky as fuck when he needed to be.

"So." He picked up a can of spray paint and started tossing it from hand to hand. "She'll definitely get us out of here any time now. But want to play a game? Truth or Dare, maybe? Kill the next few minutes?"

The next few minutes. As if they hadn't already been here for literal hours, and might be here for hours longer yet.