Sometimes We Fight And Roll Around And Break Stuff. Christ On A Fucking Stick, Was A Clone, Or Twin,

Sometimes we fight and roll around and break stuff. Christ on a fucking stick, was a clone, or twin, or whatever the fuck, telling him about his sex life with Lucifer fucking Morningstar? That would be about right, Blitz thought with a groan. Ignoring the pain in his shoulder as best he could, he grit his teeth and just focused on speeding the fuck out of there. Whatever this was, whoever was behind it, he wanted out of the kill zone that the densely packed, skyscraper-backed streets of Pentragram City made.

"Yeah, great, rolling around together, always works up a fucking appetite, doesn't it? Stay the fuck down or I'll put a hole in you myself!" He wouldn't--probably--because shooting the target one was supposed to protect was frowned upon--generally--but today was... fuck, today was something else.

To help with the mood, Blitz flipped the radio on. One of the Wrath channels was Car Chases, Standoffs, and Showdowns, so he twisted the dial until that one came on, and perfect action-movie music started blaring out of the van's (admittedly less than quality) speakers. A few more minutes of loud music, tires squealing, abrupt turns, and then the pings against the van stopped altogether. Still, although it seemed like they were out of harm's way, Blitz kept going for a while longer. He'd been told about a safehouse, some place to bring him until the client would pick him up, when he was given the job. It wasn't much farther--assuming it wasn't a trap.

Eventually, they were in the jagged mountains beyond Pentagram City. Blitz eased off the gas, flexed his injured arm to see how bad it--fuck, ow--was, and let out a tight breath.

"Okay. Okay. It's gonna be like another fuckin' hour until we're at the safe-house where your... benefactor, or what the fuck ever, will be. You said something about healing me?" He glanced into the backseat, trying not to look or sound as worried as he felt. "And are you okay back there, you good? There's some Capri-Sin if you're thirsty. "

There’s an audible “squeak!” as Blitz shoves the angel down to the floor of the van, blue eyes round as saucers. What in Heavens name was going on?! Why are people shooting at them? Is this what being kidnapped is? These thoughts are distracted by just how filthy the floor of the van is. Discarded fast food wrappers and drink cups, loose bullets, a bunch of weird little plastic sleeves labeled “Satan Slong XXL”, and these weird round balls with a metal ring on the top. These items bump and jostle against him as the van swerves and jerked.

Hearing the lizard man cry out, Lucid does in fact sit up in alarm. The angel sees the fresh red staining his jacket, a color that Lucid rarely sees with his own eyes. His own blood and his brethren are gold and glowing. “Whoah whoah! You’re hurt! Pull over so I can heal you!”

He pushes himself up on the cushions of the backseat to stand, only for a bullet to whiz through the space between his head and halo. Ducking down again, Lucid glances over at the wounded lizard demon. “Th-they want me DEAD?! Um, uh, pretty much everybody I guess? In Hell at least? Except Lucifer. Sometimes he wants to but then we fight and roll around and sometimes break stuff. But then after we’re good again and go get sweet treats!”

Blitz heard him out, then nodded. He didn't fully understand where Angel was coming from there, but he didn't need to understand it to respect it. The imp would fight like crazy to make life better for his own people, even if it meant he had to fight the Devil himself, even if he never got to be the one to see it. If Angel resented that progress had been made without him there? While it sounded selfish on the surface, Blitz reminded himself that he really didn't know Angel that well yet. They'd gone to an aquarium and to Hawai'i, but that didn't mean they had fully spilled their souls.

Besides, Blitz was a shitty enough person that he really didn't want to judge the emotional responses, or the trauma, of others. He had done enough of that in his life so far, been enough of an asshole, and after Verosika's party... That shit had traumatized him, but in a way that he was almost grateful for. It wasn't an intervention, because those were done out of love, not hate, but it had a similar effect. Seeing that he was at rock bottom, emotionally and psychologically, Blitz wanted to do better these days. To be better. Safer. Kinder.

He lightly bumped his forehead against Angel's shoulder, then nodded. Blitz was about to say something when his phone chimed. "Sorry, that's my daughter. Hang on." A quick scan of the message and then Blitz stood. He pocketed the phone, then kissed Angel on the forehead, really only possible since the other was still sitting.

"I have to go pick her up. Raincheck on the dance?"

Angel Dust had never met someone who talked more than himself, and he was starting to understand why people got overwhelmed with him. It wasn't that he wanted the imp to go away or anything, but his mind was trying to process it all at once, and admittedly Angel could be a bit slow at that stuff. Everything seemed to be moving on fast-forward - he had just met the guy, the guy started talking about Pride, and now was inviting him to -

He's blinking in shock, tilting his head a little to the side. "....how do yeh' know where ah'm from?" It wasn't like it wasn't obvious, considering his thick accent, but a lot of residents of Hell wouldn't know that unless they had heard one before. It wasn't like Angel broadcasted his actual living life for Hell to hear. That was none of their fucking business, honestly. Though that hadn't even been the most shocking statement, Angel staring at Blitz like he had three heads.

"There's gay bars in th' city?" He knew there were plenty of those around Pentagram, but that wasn't what the imp was implying and he fucking knew it. See how much shit has changed since your time. That meant talking about Brooklyn. He shook his head, biting his lip. Though the idea appealed to him, and he had so many questions, there were things that were limiting him.

"Ah' was miserable there. Don't know if it would be helpful or harmful t' see how much has changed and that....ah' ain't never got no taste of that." Maybe that was a selfish thing to say, but hey, it was Hell. It might hurt his heart even more to know that he had had to spend so much time hiding his identity and sneaking around, and he hadn't gotten to be out and proud. Not until Hell. "Definitely a fan of dancin' though. So if yeh' wanna hit up a bar down here, ah' ain't gonna say no. But Earth? Fuck that shit."

for @themosthatedbeingg -- as you wish, my friend <3 some sweet fluffy dash response for our bae

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The assassin wasn't in the habit of paying social calls to the Devil, but at a certain point, he knew he was going to have to admit that they had changed. Whatever they had been, whatever roles they had, they were something else now. Maybe more, maybe less. Blitz didn't know. What he knew was that for some fucking reason that day, he needed to get to Lucifer, needed to find him. So, as per usual for him, he plowed his way through the palace guards and made his way to Lucifer's chambers.

When he saw him there, bleeding that stunning golden blood, he understood. Maybe it was the fight between them, how closely the two of them had dragged each other towards death, how they kept choosing to let go. Maybe it was just Blitz's imagination. But either way, he knew. I'm here because he needed me to be here. There was a bond now, something there between them.

Enough.

Walking softly, in a way Blitz really only did ever for him, he went over to his bedside.

"Hey." Blitz smiled. He thought about making a joke, using crude humor to lighten the mood, but somehow... right now? It didn't feel right. Instead, he moved to sit next to him, leaning against the headboard, and just pulled Lucifer into his arms for a hug, holding onto him, gentle and close, loving as a parent.

"It's okay." Blitz kissed the top of his head. "I've got you. I've got you."

Just look my way ♥️🌙

Based on a conversation I had with @oversensitiveandoffputting I think that ironically, “Apology Tour” was the episode that fully convinced me that Stolitz was a relationship that could work in the long run.

Hear me out, because I know this is the episode where the state of Stolitz is the worst it’s ever been.

In every romantic relationship, you two will inevitably piss each other off and you might end up in an argument that ends badly. But after you two have said your piece how will you proceed? How will you treat them before you make up? Well “Apology Tour” gave me that answer.

Yes Blitz and Stolas opened the episode having a really brutal argument where the two of them, mainly Blitz, said a lot of hurtful and insensitive shit. But later in the episode at the Anti-Blitzo party, Blitz goes to talk to Stolas still trying to apologize even after Stolas publicly sang a song about how much Blitz hurt him and that he was “a motherfucker” (which honestly, good for Stolas, the bird needed a healthier outlet for his pain).

And when Stolas sees him, despite him being mad at Blitz, despite the fact that he is still clearly hurt by Blitz’s actions and words, and despite the fact that he is surrounded by people that would 100% be on his side if he were to expose Blitz, Stolas still tries to hide Blitz and warns him against exposing himself. Even when he’s mad at him, Stolas tries to protect Blitz.

And on Blitz’s end of things, Stolas is drunk off his ass and extremely vulnerable. Despite the fact that Blitz in that moment has the power to try to make Stolas feel worse about himself, despite the fact that Blitz is also extremely hurt by Stolas’s actions, despite the fact that Blitz could easily have chosen to leave Stolas to drink himself to the point of danger, he still chose to take care of Stolas in his drunken state and bothered to listen to what Stolas had to say and only left when Stolas asked him to.

Even when the two of them are mad at each other, confused as hell about how badly things ended, when they no longer have any obligation to each other, and are too wrapped in their own feelings to understand how the other is hurt, they are still looking after and caring about each other, even if only to the extent of ensuring things don’t go worse for the other person.

I don't know how to articulate how much this means to me because after seeing a lot of couples both fictional and in real life go through a rough patch, maybe even break up, and they proceed to treat each other just awfully because of their hurt, what Stolitz did is almost unheard of to me. They have no more obligation to each other, but they still chose to take care of each other when both of them were at their most vulnerable.

They didn't have to but they still chose to.

Now this in and of itself doesn't mean the two of them are ready to get back together. Blitz needs to unlearn his self-destructive habits born out of debilitating self-hatred, and he needs to learn that his -self-loathing will hurt the people around him because let me tell you, it hurts like hell when someone you love is determined to not accept that you care about them. And Stolas still needs to do a lot self-reflection on why his actions lead Blitz to believe that Stolas could not possibly care about him, because it also doesn't feel good when it feels like someone doesn't respect you enough to treat you like an adult.

However, the fact that the two of them still chose to be kind and attentive to each other in spite of their anger and the messiness of the situation, this tells me that when the time comes for them to have another conflict that frustrates them both, they will work to overcome it together.

They know how to have a good time together, but now they're figuring out how to have a bad time together, and honestly if this is how they treat each other when they are at their worst, I have a lot of hope for how they will handle conflict moving forward.

When you have to get your hot powerful owl boyfriend to intimidate a client ✨