Taylor Byas, From I Done Clicked My Heels Three Times: Poems; The Therapist Asks Me, What Are You Afraid

Taylor Byas, from I Done Clicked My Heels Three Times: Poems; “The Therapist Asks Me, “What Are You Afraid Of?””

[Text ID: “The remembering hurt / more than the living because shame dials / in. You hearing me? I was naive enough / to think I could control a life. Even mine.”]

Madison Julius Cawein, “Geraldine”

i’m afraid to cry so i run away,

but i make you cry when i run away.

i would like to be one with the moment

without freezing under the pressure

i don’t want to miss out on the opportunity

the opportunity to love

and be loved

but i’m afraid

im afraid that what brings me such excitement

will eventually strangle me to death

and leave me to hang

I felt myself on the verge of letting you break me all over again, succumbing to your embrace in the darkness of the night, your arms clenching around my waist too tightly, hands grasping my soul with an iron grip, refusing to let go.

But for some reason, you didn't allow me to let you break me, and I'm struggling to understand why. What kind of love do you call this? Is it a love that can't hold me without causing harm, yet it's also a love that won't let me back into your life to be shattered against the wall?

douleur-douce/douxsouffrance, Like Glass