When Your WIP Doesnt Write Itself:

When your WIP doesn’t write itself:

Change of plans

There was a change of plans. It's a holiday and actually it always goes like this, that my family meets sometime between 11 am and 1 pm o'clock.

This year they said we'd meet as usual, eat something, but keep it short because there were already so many parties coming up in the last few months.

It's at 1 pm. I go downstairs and I am told we won't meet until 4 pm. 

And what do I do? I cry uncontrollably. Forgive myself to my room and hope the crying stops soon.

I had my own little plans for the afternoon. Exercise after lunch. Then lay on the couch, watch my current Netflix series and crochet.

Both things that take time. In order to exercise I have to eat something first because I'm on the verge of starvation. Then I can't start right away because I'll get sick, but without it I'll eventually keel over.

After the workout I'm easier to get riled up than usual, which will only make the get-together more exhausting than it already is. Then you have to find that window of time where you can leave without being rude. Then I have to come back down first.

Means walking in circles and daydreaming until I'm relaxed. Which can take a good two hours.

Means goodbye hobby time, because tomorrow you have to get up at 5 again to go to work.

It may only be a small change, but for me it just ensures that my day that was supposed to be for relaxation has been taken away from me and is only causing stress again.

I'm tired and I'm crying about it. I crack my fingers non-stop and would love to throw everything around me. But I can't. That would be 'babyish' an 'over the top'. I would like to stay home entirely.

I am very tired and I am tired of my plans never being important enough to tell me beforehand that something is going to change.

Soulmate

Summary: Ransom finds his soulmate... and runs away.

Word count: 982

Warnings: fluff, use of (y/n), coffee gets spilled

Ransom hung out on the escalator leading to the upper sales floor of the bookstore, holding his coffee.

Harlan had threatened to cut off his allowance if he didn't participate more in the business, so he had to help out with the local reading.

He drank his coffee in large gulps. He wasn't used to getting up this early. No one should have to leave bed before two in the afternoon.

He grumbled into his cup. The stairs pushed him and his grandfather up.

He could see the first display tables. At the very front, a hodgepodge of Harlan's books. He let his eyes wander and suddenly the air was knocked out of his lungs. His heart stood still, yet raced twice as fast as usual. He was dizzy and the world was limited only to the inconspicuous side profile of a woman. She was standing in front of a table, looking at blind date books wrapped in brown paper.

He was so fixated on this girl - his soulmate - that he didn't notice that the escalator had ended and fell to the floor like an idiot. The rest of his coffee soaked into the carpet when he looked up.

She was looking at him. Wide eyes stared at him from an astonished face.

Fuck!

Ransom pulled himself together. His instincts took over and.... he ran. Turned around and took the other escalator straight back down.

(Y/n) looked completely overwhelmed after the blond mop of hair. So that's what everyone meant by, "You'll know when it happens." But why is he running away? He's not supposed to run away. God! What if I can't find him again?

"Excuse me, miss," a voice snapped her back into this world.

She looked beside her and gazed into an old, kind face.

"I have to-", she started, but was immediately interrupted.

"Don't worry. This is my grandson." He smiled calmly at her. "I want to apologize for him. He's not used to feelings." He smirked. "He didn't get very far. To the front door, at most."

"How would you know?"

"Because I ran away when it happend. I made it to the front door. When my wife found me, she hit me with her purse. I knew then, she's the one." He grinned. "You should know about your future, that Ransom is not easy."

Ransom... "He's not easy... But?", she asked.

"That's it." He shrugged. "He's not easy. I never was, either. Me and my wife still love each other." He smiled and pushed her toward the escalator. "Go after him."

Ransom stood in front of the building, ruffling his hair. What a fucking idiot. Who runs away from his soulmate? How do you blow something like this out of proportion? Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. The one person who would have been doomed to actually like him and he screws even that up. His mother was right.

"Ransom?" asked the hesitant voice of an angel.

He turned and there she stood. Cautiously, she approached him. As if he was a fawn and she didn't want to scare him away. He continued to stare at her like a retarded idiot.

She reached out her hand to him. "I am (y/n)," she said. (y/n).

He took in a breath to say something, but it caught in his throat. He didn't remember later how his hand had ended up in hers, but he knew that the most pathetic whimper crept from his throat that he had ever heard in his life.

He had had models in his bed. Women lay at his feet. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Okay. Maybe take a deep breath first," she smiled at him.

He gathered up the last of his pride. "You need to find someone else!", he said suddenly. Surprise was written all over her face. Her smile crumbled.

"You seem very nice.", he began.

"But you imagined something else. Sure.", she laughed sadly. "Already... Okay. Got it.", she smiled and looked everywhere but at his face. "I'll go-"

"No. I don't mean it like that!" he interrupted her immediately.

"I-" he sighed, "I come from a family full of scheming, selfish, self-absorbed assholes, and I," he pointed to his own chest, "am God knows the worst of them all." He looked deep into her eyes. "If I can do one thing for the person this fucking fate has assigned me, it's to save them from living in this nightmare. I'm a man-whore. I drink. Hell I wouldn't even be awake if my grandfather wouldn‘t cut off my allowance. I don't work. I'm a spoiled, distorted child and I have no will to change that. Find someone better."

She looked at him intensly, then shook her head. Ransom sighed.

"A coffee." she said then. He looked up.

"We don't have to - and I don't want to - get married right away, but let's at least have coffee," she explained herself. "After all, it's kind of my fault yours spilled."

Ransom turned bright red. He had hoped to appear cool in front of his soulmate, but he had fucked that up big time.

"There's a nice store around the corner," she said.

"They only have that disgusting filter coffee. Hell no." he blurted out.

She laughed. "You really are spoiled, aren't you?"

He shrugged. "I'll show you a real store. While I still have money, at least I can throw it at you."

She laughed. "You got a bookworm here. You'll be poor in six months if you go through with this."

"My grandfather is reading at the store today. If you know anything about books, you know his name. I'll get you any book before it's even on the market.", he finally grinned confidently again.

She looked at him, puzzled. "I've reconsidered my opinion about marrying right away."

He grinned. "Coffee first. I want to be wooed.“

How exactly do you explain to your family that you only had a meltdown because music you hate was played too loud at the family New Year's Eve party and everything was too much and you actually didn't want to react that way, but you're just mentally unstable? How exactly would one do something like that, if the actual reason is not comprehensible for most people?

Asking for a friend?

(via)