Tism Moment - Tumblr Posts
what should I do for the background? I’d like to give this some more narrative
Change of plans
There was a change of plans. It's a holiday and actually it always goes like this, that my family meets sometime between 11 am and 1 pm o'clock.
This year they said we'd meet as usual, eat something, but keep it short because there were already so many parties coming up in the last few months.
It's at 1 pm. I go downstairs and I am told we won't meet until 4 pm.
And what do I do? I cry uncontrollably. Forgive myself to my room and hope the crying stops soon.
I had my own little plans for the afternoon. Exercise after lunch. Then lay on the couch, watch my current Netflix series and crochet.
Both things that take time. In order to exercise I have to eat something first because I'm on the verge of starvation. Then I can't start right away because I'll get sick, but without it I'll eventually keel over.
After the workout I'm easier to get riled up than usual, which will only make the get-together more exhausting than it already is. Then you have to find that window of time where you can leave without being rude. Then I have to come back down first.
Means walking in circles and daydreaming until I'm relaxed. Which can take a good two hours.
Means goodbye hobby time, because tomorrow you have to get up at 5 again to go to work.
It may only be a small change, but for me it just ensures that my day that was supposed to be for relaxation has been taken away from me and is only causing stress again.
I'm tired and I'm crying about it. I crack my fingers non-stop and would love to throw everything around me. But I can't. That would be 'babyish' an 'over the top'. I would like to stay home entirely.
I am very tired and I am tired of my plans never being important enough to tell me beforehand that something is going to change.
while the idea that autism is a “superpower” is very very much wrong i will say that the joy gotten from special interests hits so hard it cancels everything else out
my ass got STRANDED in penn station nyc after unfortunate circumstances and the only thing that was more overpowering than the WORRY AND JISY FUCK HOW DO I GET TO PLACES was the pure train tism
if it was an airport i would be GONE but nope i am surrounded by trains i am vibrating at light speed
How my hands be when I stim for the 'tism
Just sitting & tisming