This Was Probably Better In My Mind But

this was probably better in my mind but…

Me watching @vanuexpartre and @scandalises 's Airk/Mads thread: 🍿🍿🍿👀👀👀

She should have gone after her that night. She didn't. She let fear dictate her choices. And now she's spent months listening to people say Kit's dead. But she knows it isn't true. She knows it's a euphemism, because no one wants to speak the truth. Kit's not dead. She's lost. And Jade has a hard time believing that.

She hates that she can feel her so sharply. As if Kit is a literal piece of her. Nightclubs are not a place Jade feels she belongs and that doesn't change as she walks through the crowded bodies. She watches her from across the room, represses the ache in her chest as an arm drapes around Kit, focuses in on the dark energy around Kit until she can feel it right behind her. She stops. "I wanted to see for myself..."

kit feels her absence every day. it both devastates and angers her. lili tells her that she would be completely inhuman if she didn't allow herself the freedom of feeling, that the jedi do everything in their power to quell individuality, destroy love, and top the power struggle. she's convinced the youngster that she's now free of all that; that she can now do what she wants, yet something still feels... amiss.

completely lost in her own thoughts, a new experience for the youngster, kit barely even notices the arm wrapping around her shoulders nor the loud music that pulses through the air. it's only when a familiar mess of red curls crosses the corner of her eyes, does she snap to attention, bringing kit to her feet. what is she doing here? placing a hand on the holstered saber, kit excuses herself from the table and moves to follow @dutyxbound through the crowd. ❛❛ it's been months, and you don't even say hello? ouch. ❜❜

Jade's eyes move from his to the trinket in his hand. She doesn't have many and it's easy to guess who it came from when you know her history. She doesn't make a move for it, though, choosing instead to focus elsewhere. "You're just jealous, because no damsel would want you to save her."

the older of the two can't quite hold back his laugh. lifting his shoulders, hands present themselves before folding across his chest. ❛❛ not really, no. one might say i'm naturally gifted in that area. ❜❜ clicking his tongue, he finally enters the room and starts to fidget with the items on a nearby table. picking up a jewelled trinket, quintan throws a smile at her. ❛❛ don't you have a little quest to go on or some damsel to save? ❜❜

Jade stops herself from laughing, but a smile does make its way on her face. She's not sure she appreciates anything Boorman teaches, but certainly some things. His advice to her after she "released" her father of his possession was actually good advice and had helped her in the days since. But those gems were few and far in between. She more often found herself rolling her eyes and losing her patience. "Just make sure you can discern the gold from the bullshit."

Her thumbs rub with intense pressure against the water skin in her hand, her nerves revealing themselves. His words give them a moment of relief, though. Hearing others say it still catches her off-guard. "I do. And I know nothing would stop her from coming back to me. Not if she can help it."

duty. it's a word that used to dictate his life; owned his life almost. the protection of sandeni and those of his people had been everything to him. aeron would have given an arm, leg, everything, to the cause. now? now he's not too sure that his duty would ever mean anything. not now, not here. still, he understands this part of jade. maybe that's why he doesn't fight or argue against her words. instead, he takes post beside her and threads fingers behind his back. ❛❛ okay. ❜❜

❛❛ i appreciate anything he teaches me. ❜❜ boorman's life perspective is the complete opposite of aeron's. while he doesn't naturally agree with what's being taught, he'll always listen. there's a reason boorman has survived this long; there's a reason all of them has survived this long, and he would listen to their advice all night if he could. in a way, it helps him feel like he belongs. noting her tone, he glances sideways at the knight. ❛❛ you love her, ❜❜ he says, matter-of-factly. ❛❛ you need to trust that, above all things, will bring her back to you. ❜❜

"Mhmm," she responds. Suuuure, he cares about his education. She totally believes the frosh. Absolutely. She'd believe it more from his sister, but not by much. She waits for him to get to the point, because, at this point, he's just buttering her up. She's known Airk Tanthalos a few months, but he's not exactly a difficult book to read. And she's pretty sure he likes it that way. "'Be my wingman'? You realize I just broke up with my girlfriend at the beginning of the semester, right?" She pauses, though, considering. "If I can finish this assignment by six, I should be good to party."

❛❛ sounds boring, and hey! i care about my education, i just... have fun along the way. ❜❜ it's his freshman year, and first proper taste of freedom, it's only right that he takes a little taste of everything that offers. smirking as the food leaves his hands, airk turns on his back and threads fingers behind his head, ankles crossing as he does. ❛❛ can't a guy just miss his best buddy without it being suspicious? ❜❜ brows lift, questioningly. then, without a further pause, he continues, ❛❛ lili... i think? yeah... it's lili, but man, it was fun. so fun. oh hey, that reminds me - there's a party tonight, wanna come with? i can be your wingman. ❜❜