Eddie: Hey (with Intention Of Forcing Steve To Watch Lord Of The Rings)

Eddie: Hey (with intention of forcing Steve to watch Lord of the Rings)

Steve: Hey (with the intention of falling asleep while watching Lord of the Rings)

Robin works herself into a panic because there's this girl, and they've gone on a few dates now, and she's pretty sure this date is going to be the date — as in, the sex date — and she's nervous because she's never had sex before which means she's never eaten someone out before, and she, well, doesn't know how. Not outside of the few very basic mechanics of it all, but she doesn't want to be boring or fumbling. She wants to be good.

So, naturally, she goes to Steve for advice because, well, he does have a reputation. She's heard the whispers, and she knows that Steve takes pride in taking care of his partners (Eddie has made that plenty clear — probably too clear), so she knows they've got to be true. Besides, there's no way so many people would be saying it if it weren't at least a little true.

Robin doesn't beat around the bush (pun fully intended 😏), just sits him down and stands in front of him with her arms crossed and, with all the seriousness she can muster, tells him, "tell me everything you know about cunnilingus."

Steve teases her for using the technical term, but he does (after he gets her to spill why she's asking). He gives her tips and tricks and doesn't shy away from telling her what he's found works for his partners and what doesn't. He reminds her that every girl is different, so his advice isn't necessarily one size fits all — one may like this thing, while another may not, so she's just gotta be willing to try something out and make adjustments as she goes.

Robin thanks him profusely, and Steve tells her she better tell him all about how it went when he sees her next.

Now, I don't know if it would be funnier if:

Robin tells him beforehand that her date is with Nancy, so Steve gives her a few personalized tips, things he remembers Nancy really liking when he was with her. And a few days later Nancy Wheeler shows up on his doorstep with fruit basket and bright pink cheeks as she tells him "thank you." When he asks her what for, her blush spreads and she says crypitcally, "you know." It's then that he puts two and two together. (When he asks Robin if she told Nancy about their conversation, Robin says no. Which means that Nancy knew it was him based off of Robin's technique alone).

OR

If Robin doesn't tell Steve who the date is with because she has a good feeling about this, and she doesn't want to jinx it. A few days later Steve finds a fruit basket on his porch with a little note that reads, "Thank you. You know what for. ;) - Nancy" and that is how Steve finds out that his two best girl friends are an item.

@steddieas-shegoes :)

the media and fans have a field day with it. steve and eddie have been public for years yet there's pictures all over twitter of steve cozied up in a booth in the corner of whatever bar, tucked tight into gareth's side under his arm with eddie nowhere in sight. a different fan posts a tiktok of them from a different angle and a little closer and you can clearly see that steve is drunk. his eyes shine unfocused in the camera flash and his cheeks are flushed. in the video he laughs loudly at something and just before one of cc's security guards blocks the view, steve leans in and buries his face in gareth's neck and gareth's fingers go to his hair.

the cheating allegations come out after that. article after article with the photo on the front page but it's nothing but radio silence from the band's twitter. no statement from eddie or gareth. fans think they're hashing it out behind the scenes and are preparing themselves for gareth's exit statement from the band or for the news to hit of steve and eddie breaking up.

none of that happens.

gareth stays in the band, steve and eddie go on like normal. they're papped in a starbucks in new york looking just as much in love as they were before the scandal. eddie and gareth don't behave any different in the videos they post of each other or on stage.

it kind of dies down after that- until a video goes up on the band's youtube one afternoon, shot that morning.

they try to keep themselves as authentic as they can, show the fans that not everything is sunshine and rainbows in the industry, and that they're real people who do real people things, too.

in the video, someone knocks on a hotel door and jeff answers. he says something that's purposefully scripted very badly and it gets a laugh out of the guys. the video shows them walking into jeff's room and it's revealed that it's a room tour. they pan around the corner into the main room and there's a lump in the bed.

there's no awkward silence between them, just a laugh from freak and a "jeeeff, it's almost ten a.m." and then eddie's pulling back the covers to reveal a slumbering steve.

people watching expect the footage to cut off abruptly or for eddie to angrily demand the situation, but again, it doesn't happen. he just laughs and squats down on the side of the bed and runs his hand through steve's hair until he wakes up.

"hey, sweetheart," he says, his voice dripping with fondness as he smiles a syrupy smile that hundreds of fans have dreampt of being on the receiving end of. "have a good sleep?"

they see steve reach out and pull eddie in by the head for a kiss. the video goes back to its scheduled programing after that, eddie following steve into the bathroom to get ready.

they don't do many interviews in the span of all this happening so fans and the media are left wondering what in the world is going on between the five of them. the boys act the same on stage every night without any signs of jealousy between them.

and then steve is photographed wearing a hoodie that fans can clearly see belongs to freak just from the size alone. neither steve or freak are small guys, but the garment is like a dress on steve. it almost goes down to his knees and the arms hang at least three inches passed his hands. it threatens to hang off of one shoulder but goddamn does steve look cozy and comfortable, burrowing into the hood pulled over his head like a little hamster.

the hoodie isn't what gets their attention, though.

it's the fact that the picture is from the band's soundcheck, to the band's twitter, and that steve is sitting on gareth's lap at his drum kit, while wearing the hoodie, and while eddie is leaning down and kissing him. gareth doesn't look put off by it. he's looking somewhere off camera and laughing but his hand is still on steve's waist and steve's is tangled in eddie's wild hair.

it answers all and none of everyone's questions.

peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

stranger things + text posts // eddie munson

Eddie: My breakfast consisted of gummies - made with real fruit - and they're trying to tell me I'm not eating right?