Some Of The Worst Things I Have Done In My Life Were When I Was Trying To Be A Devout Christian. I Owe

Some of the worst things I have done in my life were when I was trying to be a devout christian. I owe a few people the best apology I can give, and I don't think they would let me try. To shout it into void, I genuinely regret letting other hoity toity Christians at my college make me cut ties with some great people. I know for a fact now that the life I wanted back then that I was denying because it was "sinful and wrong" was bullshit. I hope that the lives of those people have gotten better without me bringing them down they deserve the world and so much happiness. I wish I had been honest with myself with how Gay I was back then.

I'm tired. Sketches are rough today. Want to take a nap, but I have to get ready for work. No energy for being philosophical today. Be gay do crime, don't hurt people.

Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that they are now two feet down into the topsoil

Emotions are difficult. When I was young, I used to cry over every little thing. Someone yelled I would cry. Someone would drop food. I would cry. Someone said something mean at school, waterfalls of tears. I reached a point probably in middle school where I just sort of stopped. No more crying to anything. I never understood what changed. Everyone in my life treated it as a good thing, and I went along with them, thinking it was great I was no longer getting bullied. One thing I have noticed lately was that all that happened was that I sort of shut people out. Yes, I wasn't crying anymore, but I also felt like I was not expressing my emotions at all anymore. Now, instead of crying, when someone yells, I go silent, look away, and just shut down. I avoid conflict at all costs to avoid feeling like I may get emotional. Again, I am not sure where I am going with this or if anyone will read my ramblings and needs to hear this, but it is okay to have feelings both good and bad. It is okay to cry and not something that needs to be seen as a negative. It's okay to feel, and I hope that anyone else does feel the way I did/do that you can find some peace someplace to actually feel your emotions.

Well, I can't just not re post this.

I'm still tired but finally getting a few days off. Time to relax, regain my mental fortitude, get back to the point where I can complain, and think clearly about something other than work. First, I slumber, and then I conquer like a true eldritch horror. Lol