Writing Tip: Dont Be Afraid Of Mixing Dialogue And Action

Writing Tip: Don’t Be Afraid of Mixing Dialogue and Action

So I’ve been reading a lot of amateur writing lately, and I’ve noticed what seems to be a common problem: dialogue. 

Tell me if this looks familiar. You start writing a conversation, only to look down and realize it reads like: 

“I’m talking now,” he said. 

“Yes, I noticed,” she said. 

“I have nothing much to add to this conversation,” the third person said. 

And it grates on your ears. So much ‘said.’ It looks awful! It sounds repetitive. So, naturally, you try to shake it up a bit: 

“Is this any better?” He inquired. 

“I’m not sure,” she mused. 

“I definitely think so!” that other guy roared. 

This is not an improvement. This is worse. 

Now your dialogue is just as disjointed as it was before, but you have the added problem of a bunch of distracting dialogue verbs that can have an unintentionally comedic effect. 

So here’s how you avoid it: You mix up the dialogue with description. 

“Isn’t this better?” he asked, leaning forward in his seat. “Don’t you feel like we’re more grounded in reality?” 

She nodded, looking down at her freshly manicured nails. “I don’t feel like a talking head anymore.” 

“Right!” that annoying third guy added. “And now you can get some characterization crammed into the dialogue!” 

The rules of dialogue punctuation are as follows: 

Each speaker gets his/her own paragraph - when the speaker changes, you start a new paragraph. 

Within the speaker’s own paragraph, you can include action, interior thoughts, description, etc. 

You can interrupt dialogue in the middle to put in a “said” tag, and then write more dialogue from that same speaker. 

You can put the “said” tag at the beginning or end of the sentence. 

Once you’ve established which characters are talking, you don’t need a “said” tag every time they speak. 

ETA: use a comma instead of a period at the end of a sentence of dialogue, and keep the ‘said’ tag in lower caps. If you end on a ? or !, the ‘said’ tag is still in lower case. (thanks, commenters who pointed this out!) 

Some more examples: 

“If you’re writing an incomplete thought,” he said, “you put a comma, then the quote mark, then the dialogue tag.” 

“If the sentence ends, you put in a period.” She pointed at the previous sentence. “See? Complete sentences.” 

“You can also replace the dialogue tag with action.” Extra guy yawned. “When you do, you use a period instead of a comma.”

So what do you do with this newfound power? I’m glad you asked. 

You can provide description of the character and their surroundings in order to orient them in time and space while talking. 

You can reveal characterization through body language and other nonverbal cues that will add more dimension to your dialogue. 

You can add interior thoughts for your POV character between lines of dialogue - especially helpful when they’re not saying quite what they mean. 

You can control pacing. Lines of dialogue interrupted by descriptions convey a slower-paced conversation. Lines delivered with just a “said” tag, or with no dialogue tag at all, convey a more rapid-fire conversation. 

For example: 

“We’ve been talking about dialogue for a while,” he said, shifting in his seat as though uncomfortable with sitting still. 

“We sure have,” she agreed. She rose from her chair, stretching. “Shall we go, then?” 

“I think we should.” 

“Great. Let’s get out of here.” 

By controlling the pacing, you can establish mood and help guide your reader along to understanding what it is that you’re doing. 

I hope this helps you write better dialogue! If you have questions, don’t hesitate to drop me an ask :)

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Writing and drawing amputee characters: Not every amputee wears prosthetics (and that's ok)

Not every amputee wears prosthetics, and not doing so is not a sign that they've "given up".

It's a bit of a trope that I've noticed that when an amputee, leg amputees in particular, don't wear prosthetics in media its often used as a sign that they've given up hope/stopped trying/ are depressed etc. If/when they start feeling better, they'll start wearing their prosthetics again, usually accompanied by triumphant or inspiring music (if it's a movie). The most famous example of this is in Forest Gump, Where Dan spends most of the movie after loosing his legs wishing he'd died instead. He does eventually come around, and him finally moving from his wheelchair to prosthetics is meant to highlight this.

The thing is, it's not that it's unrealistic - in fact my last major mental health spiral was started because one of my prosthetics was being a shit and wouldn't go on properly, despite fitting perfectly at the prosthetist's the day before. I'm not going to use my legs when I'm not in a good headspace, but the problem is, this is the only time non-prosthetic using amputees ever get representation: to show how sad they are. Even if that's not what the creator/writer necessarily intended, audiences will often make that assumption on their own unless you're very careful and intentional about how you frame it, because it's what existing media has taught them to expect.

But there are lots of reasons why someone might not use prosthetics:

they might not need them: this is more common in arm amputees because of how difficult it can be to use arm prosthetic, especially above-elbow prosthetics. Most folks learn how to get on without them pretty well. In fact, most of the arm amputees I know don't have prosthetics, or only have them for specific tasks (e.g. I knew a girl who had a prosthetic hand made specifically for rowing, but that's all she used it for).

Other mobility aids just work better for them: for me, I'm faster, more manoeuvrable and can be out for longer when I'm in my wheelchair than I ever could on my prosthetics. Youtube/tik tok creator Josh Sundquist has said the same thing about his crutches, he just feels better using them than his prosthetic. This isn't the case for everyone of course, but it is for some of us. Especially people with above-knee prosthetics, in my experience.

Other disabilities make them harder to use: Some people are unable to use prosthetics due to other disabilities, or even other amputations. Yeah, as it turns out, a lot of prosthetics are only really designed for single-limb amputees. While they're usable for multi-limb amps, they're much harder to use or they might not be able to access every feature. For example, the prosthetic knee I have has the ability to monitor the walk cycle of the other leg and match it as close as possible - but that only works if you have a full leg on the other side. Likewise, my nan didn't like using her prosthetic, as she had limited movement in her shoulders that meant she physically couldn't move her arms in the right way to get her leg on without help.

Prosthetics are expensive in some parts of the world: not everyone can afford a prosthetic. My left prosthetic costs around $5,000 Australian dollars, but my right one (the above knee) cost $125,000AUD. It's the most expensive thing I own that I only got because my country pays for medical equipment for disabled folks. Some places subsidise the cost, but paying 10% of $125,000 is still $12,500. Then in some places, if you don't have insurance, you have to pay for that all by yourself. Even with insurance you still have to pay some of it depending on your cover. Arm prosthetics are even more expensive. Sure, both arms and legs do have cheaper options available, but they're often extremely difficult to use. You get what you pay for.

they aren't suitable for every type of environment: Prosthetics can be finicky and modern ones can be kind of sensitive to the elements. My home town was in a coastal lowland - this means lots of beaches and lots of swamp filled with salty/brackish water. The metals used in prosthetics don't hold up well in those conditions, and so they would rust quicker, I needed to clean them more, I needed to empty sand out of my foot ALL THE TIME (there always seemed to be more. It was like a bag of holding but it was just sand). Some prosthetics can't get wet at all. There were a few amputees who moved to the area when I was older who just didn't bother lol. It wasn't worth the extra effort needed for the maintenance.

People have allergies to the prosthetic material: This is less of a problem in the modern day, but some people are allergic to the materials their prosthetics are made from. You can usually find an alternative but depending on the type of allergy, some people are allergic to the replacements too.

Some people just don't like them.

There's nothing wrong with choosing to go without a prosthetic. There's nothing wrong with deciding they aren't for you. It doesn't make you a failure or sad or anything else. Using or not using prosthetics is a completely morally neutral thing.

Please, if you're writing amputees, consider if a prosthetic really is the best mobility aid for your character and consider having your characters go without, or at least mix it up a bit.

For example, Xari, one of the main characters in my comic, uses prosthetics unsupported and with crutches, and uses a wheelchair. They alternate between them throughout the story.

Creative misfortunes for characters

Identity Crisis: Have your character lose their memory, forcing them to rediscover their true self and past.

Betrayal by a Loved One: A close friend or family member betrays the character's trust, leading to emotional turmoil and inner conflict.

Physical Transformation: Give your character a physical ailment or transformation that they must come to terms with, such as sudden blindness, a debilitating illness, or turning into a different species.

Unrequited Love: Make your character fall deeply in love with someone who doesn't reciprocate their feelings, causing heartache and a quest for self-discovery.

Financial Ruin: Strip your character of their wealth and privilege, forcing them to adapt to a life of poverty and face the harsh realities of the world.

False Accusation: Have your character falsely accused of a crime they didn't commit, leading to a desperate quest to clear their name.

Natural Disaster: Place your character in the path of a devastating natural disaster, such as a hurricane, earthquake, or tsunami, and force them to survive and rebuild.

Loss of a Sense: Take away one of your character's senses (e.g., sight, hearing, taste) and explore how they adapt and cope with this profound change.

Forced Isolation: Trap your character in a remote location, like a deserted island, and make them confront their inner demons while struggling to survive.

Haunted Past: Reveal a dark secret from your character's past that comes back to haunt them, threatening their relationships and well-being.

Time Travel Consequences: Send your character back in time, but make them inadvertently change a crucial event in history, leading to unintended consequences in the present.

Psychological Breakdown: Push your character to the brink of a mental breakdown, exploring the complexities of their psyche and their journey towards recovery.

Unwanted Prophecy: Have your character be the subject of a prophecy they want no part of, as it places them in grave danger or disrupts their life.

Loss of a Loved One: Kill off a beloved character or make your protagonist witness the death of someone close to them, igniting a quest for revenge or justice.

Incurable Curse or Disease: Curse your character with an incurable ailment or supernatural curse, and follow their journey to find a cure or accept their fate.

Sudden Disappearance: Make a character disappear mysteriously, leaving the others to search for them and uncover the truth.

Betrayal of Morals: Force your character into a situation where they must compromise their ethical values for a greater cause, leading to moral dilemmas and internal conflict.

Loss of a Precious Object: Have your character lose a cherished possession or artifact that holds sentimental or magical significance, setting them on a quest to recover it.

Political Intrigue: Place your character in a position of power or influence, then subject them to political intrigue, manipulation, and power struggles.

Existential Crisis: Make your character question the meaning of life, their purpose, and their place in the universe, leading to a philosophical journey of self-discovery.

Remember that misfortunes should serve a purpose in your story, driving character growth, plot development, and thematic exploration.

Good Traits Gone Bad

Exploring good traits gone bad in a novel can add depth and complexity to your characters. Here are a few examples of good traits that can take a negative turn:

1. Empathy turning into manipulation: A character with a strong sense of empathy may use it to manipulate others' emotions and gain an advantage.

2. Confidence becoming arrogance: Excessive confidence can lead to arrogance, where a character belittles others and dismisses their opinions.

3. Ambition turning into obsession: A character's ambition can transform into an unhealthy obsession, causing them to prioritize success at any cost, including sacrificing relationships and moral values.

4. Loyalty becoming blind devotion: Initially loyal, a character may become blindly devoted to a cause or person, disregarding their own well-being and critical thinking.

5. Courage turning into recklessness: A character's courage can morph into reckless behavior, endangering themselves and others due to an overestimation of their abilities.

6. Determination becoming stubbornness: Excessive determination can lead to stubbornness, where a character refuses to consider alternative perspectives or change their course of action, even when it's detrimental.

7. Optimism becoming naivety: Unwavering optimism can transform into naivety, causing a character to overlook dangers or be easily deceived.

8. Protectiveness turning into possessiveness: A character's protective nature can evolve into possessiveness, where they become overly controlling and jealous in relationships.

9. Altruism becoming self-neglect: A character's selflessness may lead to neglecting their own needs and well-being, to the point of self-sacrifice and burnout.

10. Honesty becoming brutal bluntness: A character's commitment to honesty can turn into brutal bluntness, hurting others with harsh and tactless remarks.

These examples demonstrate how even admirable traits can have negative consequences when taken to extremes or used improperly. By exploring the complexities of these traits, you can create compelling and multi-dimensional characters in your novel.

Happy writing!

how to create good characterization naturally? The chemistry in between characters without seeming forced

Great character chemistry can turn a good story into one that readers can’t forget. It’s a spark that makes your characters’ relationships seem real and exciting. Let’s look at how to make your characters interact in a way that feels natural and keeps readers hooked from start to finish.

Behaviour

Have characters unconsciously mirror each other’s actions.

Include small acts of intimacy, like sharing inside jokes or personal anecdotes.

Show characters prioritising each other’s needs or sacrificing their interests for the other.

Develop unique habits that characters only exhibit around each other.

Use consistent, unique actions or quirks that reveal a character’s feelings.

Create scenarios where characters defend each other’s viewpoints or actions to outsiders.

Allow characters to show vulnerability around each other.

Have characters unintentionally adopt each other’s mannerisms or phrases over time.

Have your characters make an effort to engage in activities they don’t typically enjoy, just to be with the other person.

Show characters naturally falling into synchronised rhythms, like walking in step.

Interactions

Lace your dialogue with subtext.

Have characters finish each other’s sentences or speak in unison without planning it.

Include playful banter and light teasing.

Allow for moments of comfortable silence that show a mutual understanding and connection.

Conflicts should be heated, but often end in mutual respect and a stronger bond.

Write intimate conversations where characters share secrets or dreams.

Develop scenes where characters work together seamlessly, anticipating each other’s moves.

Write moments where one character can tell what the other is thinking just by looking at them.

Have interactions where characters seek each other out for advice or comfort.

Create situations where characters celebrate each other’s achievements genuinely and enthusiastically.

Body language

Subtle touches like brushing hands or a gentle push that lingers just a moment too long.

Leaning towards each other while talking, showing attraction or interest.

Describe the way characters mirror each other.

A characters’ eyes lighting up or softening when they look at each other.

Positioning themselves between their partner and a threat.

Unintentional proximity, like standing or sitting closer than necessary.

Nervous gestures that characters show only around each other, like fidgeting or playing with their hair.

Warm, genuine smiles that are reserved for one another.

Instinctively reaching out to comfort each other in times of distress.

Relaxed posture in each other’s company.

Attitude

Show a respect for one another that they don’t show with others.

Are consistently patient with one another’s flaws.

Willingness to compromise or find middle ground.

Giving each other the benefit of the doubt in misunderstandings.

Unconditional support during difficult times.

Take pride in each other’s accomplishments, without jealousy.

Consistently have faith in each other’s abilities and decisions.

Openly express admiration for one another’s talents or character traits.

Maintain a positive outlook on the other’s intentions, even when they make mistakes.

Show an understanding between characters that goes beyond words.

Positive story outcomes

Stronger alliances or partnerships.

Romantic subplots that add depth and interest to the main story.

Believable character development as they influence each other positively.

Moments of triumph where their combined strengths overcome obstacles.

Deep, meaningful friendships.

Can easily resolve conflicts that seemed insurmountable.

Celebration is more impactful due to their shared success.

A fortified sense of trust that can be pivotal in critical story moments.

Enhanced reader investment in the characters and their relationships.

Openings for sequels or spin-offs based on popular characters dynamics.

Negatives story outcomes

Conflict arising from misunderstanding or jealousy.

Unresolved tension between characters on the outside.

Can lead to unnecessarily complex emotional entanglements

Creates obstacles due to the characters’ strong connection being exploited by antagonists.

Tragic outcomes when the chemistry between characters causes them to make irrational choices.

Intense confrontations that threaten the relationship.

Betrayals that are more impactful because of the depth of their relationship.

Unforeseen sacrifices that characters make for each other.

Heightened stakes when the wellbeing of one character is tied to the other.

Unexpected changes in the character when relationships are cut short.

Helpful vocabulary

Smitten

Love

Afffection

Desire

Charisma

Intimate

Playful

Magnetic

Affectionate

Devoted

Engrossed

Dynamic

Mesmerizing

Empathy

Kinship

Enthralled

Spark

Trust

Harmony

Synergy

Supportive

Heartfelt

Genuine

Symbiotic

Unbreakable

Deep-seated

Fascinating

Bonded

Authentic

Obsession

pokepasta masterlist

masterlist of all pokemon creepypastas ive read so far, at someones request+for funsies.ranges from "everyone knows this one" to "deviantart user heaven" to "wiki recommended at 2 am"

(note ill be linking each pastas latest version if they have been rewritten, either by the creator or done with their permission.shouldnt be hard to hunt their original versions if you wanna see smth you remember from old days)

lost silver (fan game in link)

strangled red

glitchy red (r slur is used in a certain part)

buried alive (rom hack)

hypno's lullaby* (song cover)

easter egg:snow on mt silver (fan game) (fan game 2)

(creepy) black (rom hack)

lavender town syndrome (supposed original song)

ash's coma

satanic lavender town (rom hack) (alt ending rom)

HM slave

tommy boy

my shining star

forever mine (TW for suicide in this one)

explorers of death

bad egg manaphy

nasty plot

pokemon dead channel

pokemon dead channel 2

pokepark wii:pikachu's return

ashamed

.194

my guardian angel

pokemon:perfect

pokemon lovelost

flames of life

fallen leaf

jessica

event gone wrong

little red rabbit

disabled

braid

tarnished gold (short rom)

battery ditto

dark green

abandon lonliness (rom hack)

prevention of evolution

lonely pikachu

blue tears (rom hack (flashing cw))

bittersweet

i love you, doll!

hell bell

stained silver

ketsuban

*as far as i can tell the creepypasta is mostly the song, as looking it up shows multiple different stories based off of it+w the fnf mods name its now impossible to properly hunt a supposed original down as it takes over the results

bonus:

escape from lavender town:game maker game using assets of pokemon yellow based on the lavender town syndrome rumors, very short, heavy flashing warning, the sequence after the game is closed might induce nausea.

uhcakip.exe and it's prequel pokemon death version:screamer games with some flashing by the creator of IHATEYOU.exe, the much more known mario creepypasta game, they're no longer downloadable but have full gameplays up

pokemon monochrome ask blog:ask blog made by person responsible for a lot of the stories linked here! has full art n photos, huge recommend! (note:the chrono tag feature is usually broken on mobile tumblr, open it on desktop mode on a browser if it leads to an empty page)

purin's lullaby:archival wiki for an old DeviantArt ARG, the link will take you to the timeline page, i havent looked much myself but i believe enough links have survived the test of time you can understand it (not to be mistaken w FNF's purin, they just share the design)

this list will be updated as i read more, feel free to suggest any not here