Emma-altium7 - Time And Death Are A Social Construct

[This user has trypanophobia.]

Tw: Needles, trauma talk(?), intense trypanophobia talk, panic attack(?), other stuff I probs forgot, suicide talk (minor)

Feel free to ignore if u r not interested this is just me venting and seeking other opinions-

I cannot stress enough how absolutely terrified I am of needles, like to the point were I start hyperventilating, crying and having a near panic attack. I am not sugar coating this.

Anything that has to do with needles instantly makes me feel pain in my arms, neck and thighs (phantom pain maybe?) I cannot tell you how many times I've cried in the course of a single day even thinking Abt needles.

I have to get a shot in 2-3 weeks. Guess what, I've cried four times ever since I was told that. Usually I have this mentality where everything's gonna happen eventually just get over it, but when it comes to this subject I'd rather kill myself than face whatever needles are thrown at me.

I was talking to my friend (it's only one friend for those who are confused) when I mentioned needles because I had just gotten the news, my friend who gets like multiple shots a month because of allergies during spring and summer was like "oh ya that's right" they were used to it.

When I told them I was scared they said it didn't even hurt and that I would be fine, trying to comfort me. Well you see, form my experiences and memories, needles have hurt like a fucking bitch. And I would do anything in my strength to stay as far away as possible from those fuckers if I could.

Now I told them as much and they recommended maybe talking to someone, but you see, I'm a prideful creature who doesn't like people see me cry and will do absolutely everything to make sure people don't see me do so.

So now I'm out here on tumblr asking u all if anyone has had similar experiences and has any ideas of how to beat the fear because I am in desperate need of some help over here.

Keep in mind despite being the confident friend I am shy in nature and talking to people and risk wasting their time makes me want to throw myself in a ditch. Also, I am absolutely inconsolable for like three hours before the shot and inconsolable during it to the point were people have had to delay the shot taking because of it. And hour after the shot, I am no longer crying, but I will most certainly start laughing like a fucking maniac and cry as well.

People always tell me that "it didn't even hurt that much" "see your fine" yes, yes it did fucking hurt, no, no I am not fucking fine. I will absolutely snap at anyone who says otherwise because what the fuck, I would rather cut myself than re-experience that shit.

Also know that I tense up without wanting to during the shots or blood taking and once lost consciousness when having my blood taken. Getting shots have given me both headaches for days and my whole body feels colder, I always end up looking half dead or half asleep. My body is either still as a statue or shaking like a lead in the wind right after.

Ok so maybe I do have problems-

The #trypanophobia tag is for:

trypanophobic people to discuss our mental illness and how it affects us

tips from trypanophobic people on how to deal with trypanophobia

The #trypanophobia tag is not for:

images of needles or art with needles in it (the tag you're looking for is #trypanophobia tw)

headcannons/fanfiction/other fan content

Trypanophobia is:

severe distress when exposed to needles

a mental illness

an anxiety disorder

life-altering

difficult to treat

Trypanophobia is not:

just a fear

treatable through exposure to needles (exposure therapy is done by the phobic person, not to them, exposing people to their phobia without their consent can cause trauma that makes it worse)

uwu cute nervousness to romanticize and apply to your blorbo

ty for the request! been a hot minute since i last drew Marin