Hi I Just Wondering What Kind Of Stories Are You Writing?

Hi I just wondering what kind of stories are you writing?

Good question, I really don't know myself?

I write what I feel like

Can be the fluffiest fluff to dirty NSFW

(Even if I'm a novice in that department I wrote only two NSFW pieces right now)

Is there no chapter 6 and 8 for making waves?

There are but they are NSFW so if you are a minor you can't read them

The Stick of Truth

Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1!

N.K. is angry at her parents. Not only did they move again, no, but they moved into a snowy hicktown named South Park! She was sure she would hate it there, yet surprisingly she gets to participate in the epic RPG the kids play and falls for the human princess and the elf king. Who is friend, who is foe and which side should she choose?

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 2: One Stick: Lost, Three Warriors: Find

The next minutes of my life I seriously wonder what is going on.

Believe me, moving around the whole country, you get to see really freaky shit, but whatever is going on in South Park breaks the record.

Eric, whom I learn his surname is Cartman, what’s me to beat up Clyde, and the beating up Clyde turns into a round-based video game alla Final Fantasy!

Do you think I’m kidding?

No, I swerve it’s true.

I don’t know how it works, but it works really like that!

If I can summon something in the near future it’s officially a Final Fantasy rip-off!

Anyway, I know the drill and kick Clyde’s ass.

I had to keep from laughing when I needed to learn to “protect my balls” since I don’t need it technically.

But the one who is laughing right now is Cartman.

“HAHA, HAHAHA! Dude that was awesome! You were all like BRAMMGMG! And Clyde was all like "aaghghg, noo"! Hahahaha! Okay, okay. You've proved yourself worthy, Douchebag. Now, come inside the war tent and I shall let you see the relic.”

With that said fatass does it and I turn to Clyde, rubbing my neck, feeling bad.

“Sorry, dude, for that.”, I apologize for the beating I gave him.

He huffs a “Whatever.” and goes back to his station.

A little whine left my lips.

Okay, I need to do damage control there, for sure. But since I don’t know Clyde that well, I will leave him alone for now and try again later.

So I enter the tent, to stand beside Cartman.

I wonder what kind of relic we are talking here about and what it can do.

“Well, here it is.”, beginns Cartman. “The reason why humans and elves are locked in a never-ending war. The relic for which humans and elf are willing to die... The Stick of Truth.”

It’s just a normal twig on a pillow, a lamp shining down on it!

I admit I’m disappointed.

They couldn’t, I don’t know, put some glitter or fake rhinestones on it? I mean, be creative, dude! What is this sad-looking thing?

Since Cartman can’t hear my thoughts, he just continues to monologue: “Just two days ago, we took the Stick back from the elves. Our kingdom was dying, but now it thrives. For whoever controls the Stick, controls the universe.”

If this thing controls the universe it sure looks shitty. That is the ugliest relic, I ever saw in my entire life!

Like it is really all so powerful Cartman closes his eyes and nearly cowers before it.

At least he is really involved.

“Don't gaze at it too long!”, he warns me. “For its power is too much for mere mortals to look at!”

Yeah, I could poke my eye out with it! If it would be a giant rock, I would be more impressed.

I’m sad I can’t make that reference.

“Now that you have seen the Stick of Truth, let's discuss your dues.”, says Cartman.

“Dues?”, I repeated with a raised eyebrow.

What, does he want me to pay him so I can participate in the game?

Apparently yes, before I can tell him that I won’t give him any of my pocket money we hear Butters screaming: “ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!”

“Someone has sounded the alarm!”, yells Cartman.

“Yeah, Butters.”, I deadpan.

It was clearly his voice.

Butters enter the tent hectic and jumping up and down.

“Alarm alarm alarm!!”

“What is it?!”, demands Cartman to know.

“The elves are attacking!”

“Oh my GOD! Defensive positions!”

With that Cartman runs back out. I blink for a second before I decide I should follow. That’s clearly part of the game and I indent to play it.

“Man the gate! Don't let them through!”, yells Cartman.

Yep, there is an Elf army right in front of us led by a blond-haired one. Things are about to get interesting. I can feel it.

“Give us the Stick, humans!”, demands blondie.

“Fuck you, drow elf!”, growls our Wizard King. “Come and get it! CLYDE! Guard the Stick of Truth while we defend the fortress!!”

“Aye, aye!”, responds Clyde.

“"Aye, aye"? We're not playing PIRATES, Clyde!”

Oh, that would be a cool game too. I would want to be Anne Bonnie!

“Douchebag!”, turns chubby at me. “This is your chance to prove yourself. Hold off the asshole elves at all costs!!”

I salute.

“As you wish my lord!”, I can’t help but get into character.

Cartman is a fat fuck, nonetheless, I will give my all. With a battle cry, worthy of an amazone, I run into the fry of battling humans and elves and fight whowever comes before me.

Again it’s like I’m in fricking Final Fantasy and a learn some new game machines.

The fucking asshole who hit the poor kitty cat got an extra hard beating, no one fucks with cats when I’m around. I love cats, they are my favorite animal. I want a cat, but because we move so much my parents don’t allow it.

In the end, I beat all this bitch ass bitches in their bitch ass faces.

“Drow elves! Fall back! Fall back I say!”, cries blondie leader elf and all of these little bitches get out of the backyard.

“And don’t come back!”, I yell after them, waving my wand around.

Oh yeah, that was so much fun! I could do this the whole day.

Princess Kenny claps for me and then swoons hard as I send her a kiss. Gosh, she has such a cute giggle!

Even Cartman is in celebration mode.

“YES! Awesome, dude! TAKE THAT YOU ASSHOLE ELVES! Better luck next time!”

He then starts to do a little dance and sing: “NA NA NA NAAA NA! We still control the universe! HA HA HA HA HAAA HA!”

Suddenly Clyde appears.

He says just two words, yet it seems the world stands still.

“It's gone.”

I swerve, I hear a record scratch.

“What?”, ask Wizard Fatass.

“The Stick of Truth. The elves got it.”

Oh, that is bad. That is really, really bad.

For Clyde.

I don’t think Cartman will like that.

And I’m right as Cartman yells in Clyde’s face: “THAT WAS YOUR ONE GOD-DAMNED JOB CLYDE! TO GUARD THE STICK OF FUCKING TRUTH! Clyde... you are hereby BANISHED from space and time!”

You hear how practically anyone whines at this. I stand beside Princess Kenny and whisper: “What means that?”

She goes on her tippy-toes to answer in my ear: “It means practically he can’t play anymore with us. And we all have to ignore him.”

I twitch at this.

Damn, that’s hard.

I sure hope I don’t get punished when the truth comes out that I’m a girl. I would feel so sad when nobody wanted to play and talk to me anymore.

“What?! No! You can't do that!”, argues Clyde back.

I don’t think that helps against the fatass.

“Yeah, I can! You're banished, and lost in time and space!”

“Yeah! Go home, Clyde!”, adds our paladin, as Clyde angrily walks away.

There goes my chance to clear things with him.

Awesome.

I just should have done it and not waited around.

I hope it won’t bite me in the ass.

“You fought bravely on the battlefield, Douchebag.”, turns Cartman to me.

I salute again.

“It was nothing my lord, just did my duty to the kingdom.”

“Yeah, this new kid may be a douchebag but he sure can fight!”

I gave Scott for that remark the evil eye and he seems to flatter under it.

Not only here is another one who can’t tell I’m a girl, but he also just straight-up insults me, even though I saved his diabetic ass.

Next time, he can straight-up die.

“Shut up, Scott, nobody cares what you think.”. tells him Cartman and I can’t believe I agree with him. It feels…strange. “Anyways, we have a bigger problem now! The Stick of Truth has been stolen, and we must assemble our ENTIRE army in order to get it back.”

“But our three best warriors still haven't reported for duty, my King!”, reminds him Butters.

“Our newest member can take care of that.”

“What?”

Did I hear right?

Cartman grips me by the arm and leads me a little away from the others.

“Douchebag, I want you to go out into the neighborhood and find my greatest warriors: Token, Tweek, and Craig.”, he says.

Seems like this is my first quest.

Just one problem…

“As you wish my lord, but I don’t know them.”

“That’s no problem, I am texting their pictures to your personal inventory device now.”

Cartman gets his phone out a sends to my phone three pictures. One of a black boy, one blond kid, and another has a resting I-don’t-give-a-fuck-Face.

….Where the heck, did Cartman get my number from? I sure didn’t give it to him…

“But beware. The lands outside are full of marauding drow elves, monsters, and sixth graders.”, warns Cartman. “Be sure you are well equipped. Now go! And send my warriors here! Butters, go with him.”

“Of course!”, says the paladin happy and standing beside me.

I salute, Butters follows my lead.

“You can count on us, my lord!”

This pleases Cartman greatly and he enters the war tent.

I search for a map of South Park on my phone to show it to Butters.

“So noble paladin, where should we first go?”, I ask him.

He gives a little hum, till he points to a blue house, a neighborhood away.

“Let’s get Craig first. His house is the closest.”

“I will trust your judgment.”

Butters gives me a brilliant smile. I ask him to give me a minute and walk up to Princess Kenny.

I bow before her.

“I must go to fulfill my quest, my lady. Be sure that I will think of your beautiful being should I find myself in great despair.”, I flirt.

The princess swoons hard and mumbles something about, what a brave and noble knight I am and that she will pray for my safe return.

I give her a smile and take her gloved hand in mine. I give it a little kiss, which makes her happily squeal. I have a feeling she is smiling brightly under her parker.

With that, I give her one last bow and join Butters.

Let’s find these three warriors!

“So…you know I am a girl.”, I say to Butters, as we make our way to Craig’s house.

It’s not a question. I know that he knows since he signaled behind Cartman’s back to me to keep my real gender secrete.

The younger boy rubs nervous his neck.

“Yeah…”

“And you are okay with it? Why did you help me?”, I wonder.

“Oh well.”, starts he nervously playing now with his fingers. “You are a fifth grader, right?”

I nod.

“I just thought…if an older girl helps me against an elf, doesn’t make fun of us, and wants to play…who I am to not let her? You are already different from the girls around here.”

I let that sink in.

Butters is a good boy, I decide.

But I don’t like what he implies about the girls of this town.

“How are the girls here in South Park?”, I want to know.

“Oh you know…really girly. The girls in my grade, don’t like to play games with us boys and the older girls seem only to think about giving boys B.J., whatever that is.”

…What?!

I hold Butters’s shoulder, so he stops walking. He blinks up at me with big blue eyes. His eyes are a shade lighter then Princess Kenny, I note. It reminds me of a little puppy.

Aww, cutie pie.

“So you are saying the fourth-grade girls are your typical girly girls and the girls in my grade already give B.J. and I’m happy you don’t know what that is. You are way too young to know about that.”, I state.

“Oh, you know what that is?”

Now I’m the one who rubs her neck.

“I’m a bit to couriers, you could say. Whatever. Also, all girls are here probably straight, fantastic.”, I sign sadly.

That get me wrong, I will continue pursuing Princess Kenny…I just thought I could get my game on to with some pretty girls here.

Stupid backward hicktown.

I fucking knew it!

“You seem disappointed, why?”, asks me Butters innocent.

“I’m bi, I’m attracted to more than one gender. I was actually dating a girl before I moved here.”, I tell him nonchalantly.

I don’t care if I will get judged here. I’m who I’m and I will not feel ashamed of that. My parents fully support me and went even to the last Pride Parade with me.

So fuck anybody else!

Butters just stares at me, I raise an eyebrow, till he gives me a little smile.

“Oh, that’s neato. You are so brave! What was your girlfriend like?”

Aww, it’s official, Butters is a sweetheart. The little dude has a good chance of becoming a little brother to me.

Smiling I ruffle his hair and tell him about Serena. He listens attentively and asks questions.

After I show him a picture of her, he agrees that she is a really beautiful girl.

Meanwhile, we go into my house, where I decide to put my Link Cosplay on. Butters, of course, waits for me outside my room and then we make our way to Craig’s house.

I’m quite happy it still fits me and hope our Princess will swoon hard when she sees me.

We kick some elf asses also because it seems these little bitches are everywhere.

But they are nothing against Paladin Butters and Mage N.K.!

Soon we are there.

I check if Butters and I still look presentable, which makes him giggle as I straight up his robes before I knock at Craig’s door.

An older gentleman with balding red hair opens.

“Yes?”

“Hello, sir, is Craig home? We want to ask him to play with us.”, I ask smiling.

“Ya lookin' for Craig? Well, he can't play. He's in detention. Something about flippin' off the principal.”

And with that Craig’s dad closes the door before my nose.

I blink and then I frown.

Wow, rude much?!

“We better get to the other guys first!”, means Butters.

“I agree. Who is the nearest one?”

“That would be Token.”

“Then let’s go, Butters.”

South Park is a small town, yet it feels like we are walking for hours. We did find some Sir Timothy station, which is a traveling service of a handicapped child in a wheelchair with a red wagon. Butters explains to me that Timmy lets travel anyone in his wagon if you call for him, even for free, which is really nice.

Anyway, we are still not quite there where Token lives, so me and Butters talk.

“Is Butters your real name or a nickname?”, I want to know.

I’m asking that myself since I met him.

“Oh, it’s a nickname. My real name is Leopold.”

…How the fuck do you get Butters out of Leopold? Wouldn’t Leo be a better nickname? And a more logical one?

I turn my head to him and raise an eyebrow.

“Do you like Butters?”

“Oh, well it has been my nickname since I can remember.”

“I didn’t ask you that, I asked if you like it.”

My little fourth-grade buddy bites his lip. He doesn’t seem to know how to answer.

Someone fucked him up good and I decide from that moment on that he is now mine to protect and cherish.

So I lay a hand on his shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile.

“If it’s okay with you, I will call you Leo from now on. Do you know Leo comes from Latin and means lion? It fits you better.”

He gives me such a wide-eyed, teary, look that I practically melt and hug him sideways.

Leo squeaks a bit and turns red.

“And tell you what, from now on I’m your big sister and when someone is mean to you, you tell me and I beat the shit out of them, okay?”, I add, ruffling his hair.

The boy gives me a tiny, fragile smile and nods his head.

“Okay…big sister.”

This makes me smile brightly.

“Atta boy!”

After our heartful moment, we finally reach where Token lives. He lives in a guarded community named Dark Meadows.

…How rich is this kid?

Can he screw the rules, with the money he has?

Anyway, that’s not important right now. A security guard with a clipboard stands beside the entrance.

Bet we have to ask him to enter.

Let’s do this!

“Good day, sir.”, I call to him and wave friendly. “We would like to enter to get to our friend Token. Can we please enter?”

The guard just gives me a sideways look.

“This is a gated community, sir. We do not allow in the riffraff. Move along sir.”

Since I look like Link, I’m not pissed that the security guard can’t see I’m a girl, but I take offense in calling us riffraff!

“Sir, we assure you we aren’t-“

I can’t even finish my sentence as this motherfucker takes out a pepper spray and gives me a full dose of it!

For the first time in my life, I’m glad I need glasses, so my eyes don’t get attacked that easily, still it freacking burns and hurts and I throw up in the snow!

“If you try again, I will pepper spray you back to the Stone Age.”

“N.K.!”, yells Leo and helps me up.

He leads me away from the security guard. We wash my eyes out with some water bottles we have on us.

“This shit-eating, motherfucking, pigheaded, dickless piece of white trash!”, I curse, while Leo pats me on the back to heal me up more. “I will so kick him into the Kuribohs when we next see him.”

“He will just pepper spray you again.”, reminds me, Leo, gently. “We need a way around it.”

“Any ideas?”

Seems like the universe wants to help us since a new post is on Facebook that might have the answer.

Eric Cartman: HAHAHAHA Dude someone just posted a video of you getting pepper sprayed! Hold on I gotta watch that again. AHAHAHAHA it's even better when you know what's coming!

Jimbo Kern: Jimbo's Guns carries a selection of gas masks that render pepper spray totally useless as a self-defense. Come visit.

First, Cartman go hump a stump!

And second, this Jimbo’s Guns is what I need right now!

I chuckle wickedly, imagining my sweet revenge on the security guard. Leo looks at me worried.

“Let’s go, Leo!”, I tell him. “We have a shop to visit!”

Next

My Masterlist

Do you search for a specific fanfiction or a chapter you haven't read? Then this Masterlist will help you, with all the links to my stories!

Happy reading!

Yin and Yang

Change the Narrative/Complete

Making Waves/Complete

To Belong/Complete

Second Chance

The flap of a Butterfly wing

The Queens Gambit: Snippet Collection/Complete

The Queens Gambit: Prequel

The Queens Gambit: The Story

The Queen's Gambit: Season Zero

Obito's Hinata/Complete

Obaa-Chan VS Uselessness

Goddess of the Sun, Queen of the Stars

Nothing is True

Blood of my Blood

My Beloved: Nezuko KamadoXReader/Complete

Maiden of the Moon

The Fox and the Sun

Kill La Hero

A little bit of Fairy Dust

One Punch Girl!

You and I

Anomaly

Hippolyta/Complete

DBH Case File: Deviancy

Retribution

Demeter Somerset and the Ancient Magic

The Stick of Truth/Complete

Friendly Faces Everywhere

The Magician's Quest

The Stick of Truth

Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1!

N.K. is angry at her parents. Not only did they move again, no, but they moved into a snowy hicktown named South Park! She was sure she would hate it there, yet surprisingly she gets to participate in the epic RPG the kids play and falls for the human princess and the elf king. Who is friend, who is foe and which side should she choose?

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 6: Magical Music Madness with the Bard

Holding hands and giggling like school girls Princess Kenny and I return to Kupa Keep.

“Princess Kenny, N.K. there you are!”, greets us, Leo. “When Craig returned and you two didn’t come back, I got worried.”

Kenny waves his worries away, while I give his head a pat.

“Me and the Princess…explored a bit more of the town, nothing to worry about.”

My fair princess and I share a look and laugh together.

Oh, we did explore.

But not the town.

Not that we are going to tell what we actually did. Leo is too innocent to hear this.

“Oh, all right.”, signs Leo relieved. Then he frowns and points at my neck. “N.K.! You have a large bruise there! Let me heal it!”

Automatically I slap my free hand where the “bruise” is. I can’t help but turn red, while Kenny giggles even more.

“Oh don’t worry noble paladin. That isn’t a bruise.”, tells Princess Kenny smugly.

I give her an annoyed look.

“I know you sucked too hard!”, I quietly hiss at her. “Now I have a hickey. How I’m going to explain this to my parents?”

Leo stares just confused from me to Princess Kenny.

As an answer, Kenny gives me a cheek kiss.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head over it. Didn’t you tell me that you are good with make-up? You can just cover it.”

And with that, she sashes away.

I roll my eyes, but can’t help grinning.

“Hate to see her leave love to watch her go.”, I confess to Leo, who just seems more confused.

“Ooookaaayyyy, I have a feeling I don’t wanna know what you and the princess were doing.”, he admins. “Are you two together?”

I laugh and give his head again a pat.

“Oh Leo, you have still a lot to learn.”

Not that I didn’t enjoy my time alone with the Princess greatly, but already starting a relationship? Naah, I still wanna look around.

Kenny seems all right with it too.

And that’s the most important thing.

Before Leo can ask what I mean, Lord I’m-going-to-die-on-a-heart-attack-if-someone-doesn’t-murder-me-before steps out of the war tent and calls us all over to him.

“Gentlemen, thanks to the new kid, our entire army is assembled!”, Cartman proclaims. “It is my belief that the new kid deserves to rank up in level.”

“You honor me, my king.”, I say with a little bow.

“To honor his efforts, he will no longer be called "Douchebag." New Kid, I hereby dub thee - SIR Douchebag! Congratulations.”

I take it back.

“Oh come on you asshole! My name is not that complicated!”, I shout while the others clap for me in congratulation for my new rank.

Of course, Cartman ignores me.

I will get my revenge on the asshole one day. Hitting him with Dragonshout didn’t satisfy my hunger for revenge at all.

“But now it is time for us to take back that which is rightfully ours.”, he tells us. “A carrier raven has come with news that the Stick of Truth has not yet been taken to the Elven Forest. It is in the possession of... the Bard.”

Suddenly all around me, the guys freaked out.

“The Bard?!”, gasp Scott scarred.

“Oh, God! Not the Bard!”, whimpers Tweek.

Confused I turn to Leo and raise an eyebrow.

“The Bard is a level ten Drow Elf who can use magic to enchant and destroy his enemies!”, Leo explains.

I nod in understanding. No wonder the others are freaking out. This is a tough enemy.

Mmh, maybe we could use some earplugs to not get affected by his music…? Would that work?

“Are you ready to continue your training?”, turns Lord Fatliver at me, interrupting my thoughts. “Then make haste to the training grounds.”

Who wants to bet with me that I need to learn a new fart technic?

Do I hear 20 dollars? 15? 10? 25?

Naturally, it is again a fart technic, it’s called Cup-A-Spell, which I master.

Okay, I’m petty.

I should have thrown it again in Cartman’s stupid face, but he choose Scott as my sparring partner and I’m still angry that the diabetic boy called me also a douchebag and can’t see I’m a girl.

So Scott got the Cup-A-Spell thrown in his face, which makes Cartman laugh happily.

After we are done with the training our large-ass king reassembles us.

“If the carrier ravens are correct, the Bard is hiding out at the Inn of the Giggling Donkey. We must find him before he's able to take the Stick back to the Elven Forest.”

“LET US FIND THE BARD AND BRING HIM TO JUSTICE!”, yells Leo with passion.

“MAKE HASTE TO THE GIGGLING DONKEY!”, commands Cartman.

With that we all, beside Schott who will hold down the fort, run out of Kupa Keep.

We have reached the Giggling Donkey and are hiding behind some bushes before it. Like we are all spies, we coordinated look up from the bushes.

“There it is. The Inn of the Giggling Donkey.”, says Cartman anonymously.

The Giggling Donkey is located inside a blue house. I sure hope it’s the house of someone who takes part in our RPG and that my comrades didn’t just pick a random house.

I don’t think the adults would like that.

“Paladin.”, Lord Chubby turns to Leo. “Are you sure the Bard is hiding out in there?”

“That's what Twitter says.”

“CARRIER RAVEN, Butters!”

“So-sorry, that's what the carrier raven says.”

I pat Leo shoulder to calm him down and send Cartman an angry look. No need to get pissed off about such a small detail.

Cartman commands: “Craig and Token, guard the back door. Butters, Kenny, Sir Douchebag... let's go inside.”

“Goddammit, is it so complicated to say N.K.?!”

Of course, Lord Fatness ignores me.

I growl under my breath.

Princess Kenny takes my hand, stroking it to calm me down, while Leo is now the one to pat my shoulder.

I send them both thankful smiles and we follow Cartman into the Inn.

Me and Kenny still hold hands and a took Leo by the arm.

I don’t like the vibes of this Inn.

“Stay close, Sir Douchebag. The Inn of the Giggling Donkey harbors the scum of all Zaron.”, warns me Cartman.

“Don’t need to tell me twice.”, I respond, gripping tighter Kenny’s hand and making Leo walk closer to me.

The Inn practically screams shady bar, with the suspicious patrons and the whole decor. The little jazz music is the only thing nice.

We four walk up to the bar.

“A glass of Meedlewine, please.”, orders Cartman.

“No Meedlewine today, only Fairy Ale.”, tells the barkeeper.

“A pint of Fairy Ale, then.”

The barkeeper prepares Lord Stomachpounch’s order, while he asks with fake nonchalant: “So... has uh... anyone seen the Bard lately?”

Literally, a record scratches, and all the patrons give us the evil eye.

“Smooth!”, I whisper-shout at Cartman.

Princess Kenny is gripping my arm and Leo is hiding behind me, gripping my other arm. I give the Princess a quick kiss on the cheek to reassure her. Leo gets a gentle pat on the head.

It works and the two calm down.

“A cup of Fairy Ale isn't much if not accompanied by some bardic poems and songs.”, tries Cartman to save the situation.

“Sure he's here, all right. He's got a room down in the cellar.”, informs him the barkeeper.

“Ah, and I shall pay handsomely for his services.”

King Fatass finishes his drink and throws some coins at the bar.

“Sir Douchebag.”

Me, Kenny, and Leo follow after him to the door which will lead to the cellar.

“This smells like a trap.”, I tell Cartman my suspicions.

Inns normally don’t have rooms in the cellar. In the cellar, you store food and drinks. There is no place for a room to sleep.

I see how Kenny and Leo nod in agreement.

“That’s the only lead we have on the bard. Do you have a better idea, Douchebag?”, challenges me Cartman.

I sign.

“No, sadly no.”

Satisfied King Large Ass gives out his orders: “Butters, Douchebag, go down and flush him out. Princess Kenny and I will be waiting here to murder him. Remember, the Bard can use songs to enchant. Don't let him get to you.”

Princess Kenny gives me a good luck kiss on the cheek and I smile thankful at her.

“We will be back soon.”, I promise.

I take Leo’s hand, advising him: “Stay close and behind me, understood Leo?”

“Y-Yes, Sir N.K.”

“Are you fags then done been gay with each other. We have a bard to murder and a Stick to reclaim.”

For that Kenny and I give him the evil eyes.

“You are just jealous that no one would even hold your hand wearing ten cloves over it!”, I shot back.

I don’t wait for Cartman’s angry answers and lead Leo down the cellar stairs.

“You think the Bard's really down here?”, wonders Leo afraid, gripping my hand tight.

It’s really dark and spooky in the cellar.

I squeeze his hand as we make our way through the cellar.

“Oh, I think that motherfucker is just waiting for us.”

Suddenly we hear a sound and then someone who plays a lute.

Leo and I hold our hands to the ears since the sound penetrated the eardrums.

A figure with crutches steps into the little light the cellar has.

“Oh Jesus, it's the Bard!”, yells Leo scarred.

Automatically I stand before him to protect him and fix the bard with a glare. The kid is disabled, you clearly see it, but he has a dangerous aura around him.

I prepare myself for anything.

“Prepare for battle, w-w-w-weaklings!”, stutters the bard. “Elves, fall in!”

Didn’t I say it was a motherfucking trap?!

“DOUCHEBAG! IT'S A TRAP!”, yells Cartman obviously.

“I TOLD YOU SO!”, I can’t resist calling back.

“You should have never come here, h-humans.”, tells us the bard. “I am a level 10 bard, and with my lute I shall power up my elven guards with magical songs of encha - with magical songs of encha-cha - with magical songs of encha-chaaa... mag... magical songs of enchame-me-me...”

I blink rapidly at his stuttering, what the hell, while all the others wait patiently for him to finish.

“Magical songs of enchantment!”

Oh, he is done.

This means it’s time to kick some elven butt. Me and Leo face the elvens, while the bard takes the stage on a wooden box.

The bard starts to play his lute singing: “There once was a maiden from Stonebury Hollow. She didn't talk much, but boy did she swallow.”

I can’t help the snort that comes out of my mouth.

That’s a funny and good rhyme, I give him that!

“Sir N.K., we need to concreted on the battle!”, reminds me, Leo.

“Sorry, of course, you are right!”

We battle the elves and the bard sings another funny line: “I have a nice lance that she sat upon. The maiden from Stonebury who was also your mom.”

I laugh out loud, while I hit an elf with my wand.

“N.K.!”

“Sorry, Leo! But Mister Bard you are hilarious.”

“Well, t-t-thank you, m-m-my lady!”

“Erm, yeah, can you please not say this while Cartman is near us? He thinks I’m a dude.”

“Oh…o-okay.”

Even with the bard singing, which makes the elven stronger, me and Leo win.

The bard jumps down from his wooden box, grumbling: “Wow, what a butt-kicking...”

He manages to reach the cellar door to let in more elves.

“Get down there and finish them off. I will protect the S-Stick of Truth.”

With that, the bard leaves us with our new friends.

Leo and I use the environment to our advantage to take out the elves. As even Craig joins us, we finish them off pretty quickly.

Okay, Leo needs to heal Craig, since he twisted his ankle, but we three are in no time out of the cellar.

We see an elven warrior charging into the kitchen.

“For the elf king!”

“AHGHGH! Someone help!”

We hear Cartman’s pained screams.

“Come on, the Wizards in the kitchen! We gotta help him!”, tells Leo.

I make a face.

“Do we really need to…”

“N.K.!”

“All right, all right…”

I follow Leo and we take care of the elfs.

Like Princess Kenny did in the school my little bro goes down on one knee and proclaims: “Your word is the command, my lord. Shall I heal the king, my lord? Or maybe let him suffer just a little bit more?”

“I would love to.”, I sign sadly. “But heal him, time is at wasting.”

Cartman lays like a fat diva in Leo’s arms and coughs up blood.

He is such a dramatic bitch.

“His powers were too strong - the Bard. He's up in one of the rooms. They took Princess Kenny! They took her upstairs. I'm sure they're going to rape her. Don't let them rape Princess Kenny! Myehhh...”

….WHAT DID HE SAY?!

“N.K.?!”, shouts Leo surprised as he sees how fast I run out of the kitchen.

I don’t care what the bards say to the elves, I don’t care about their shitty barricades. Like I’m a raging tornado, I kick and slap anyone away, even this little elf fucker with a gasmask, who was probably a mini-boss, to reach my beloved princess.

I have to save her!

That’s the only thing on my mind!

I can hear the admiring ooh and aah of my comrades, but I don’t care as I run up the stairs and open the door where I hear Princess Kenny’s screams.

“KENNY, I’M HERE I WILL-“

I stop my screaming as I see the scene before me.

Princess Kenny is tied up…and one elf is jumping on the bed beside her up and down.

I blink.

One.

Two.

And three times.

“You fuckers had me really scarred!”, I shout angry, but glad that Kenny isn’t really raped.

I jump up to the bed, channeling my inner Cassandra from Assassin’s Creed Odyssey, and I Sparta kick the elf from the bed, knocking him out.

“My heroin!”, gushes the Princess. “You saved me!”

“Of course, my lady. I was so worried and scared for you.”, I admit as I free her from the bonds.

Princess Kenny doesn’t waste time and falls into my arms.

We hug each other tightly.

Then she pulls her parkor down, that her lips are free and we kiss each other softly on the lips.

Okay, it starts softly.

But I’m so full of adrenalin and so glad she is okay, that I pin her down on the bed and lick along her lips. Happily, she lets my tongue enter her mouth and our tongue wrestle with each other.

Damn!

I’m still in wonder, what I good kisser Kenny is. She makes you addicted to it.

I feel how her hands wander over my curves, but before it can escalate like it did after we saved Craig from detention, Leo enters the room.

“N.K. is the princess-! Oh, hamburgers! Sorry!”

We stop kissing and turn our heads in Leo’s direction.

Aww, it’s adorable how he has his hands over his eyes and blushes red like a tomato.

I give the Princess a quick peck, helping her up from the bed.

“It’s really not the time for that, my lady.”

“Sadly.”, she agrees.

Hand in hand we walk up to Leo.

“You can look again, Leo. Sorry, that you had to see this.”, I apologize to him.

Cutely he picks out from his hands, still blushing up a storm.

“I-It’s all right. Come the wizard king is waiting for us.”

The first thing King Assholes says to us as we join up with the others is: “Princess Kenny! How badly did they rape you?!”

“They didn’t rape her.”, I answer for my princess. “Also it’s not funny to make such jokes. Raping is one if not the worst thing that can happen to a girl. Some borders we shouldn’t cross.”

Cartman rolls his eyes.

“Damn not only a fag but you are also a feminist or what?”

“I’m bisexual you ignorant piece of shit and what if I’m?!”

Before I and this tub of lard can fight, Craig calls frustrated over: “I can't get through! The door appears to be enchanted so I can't turn the knob!”

Our fat king waddles over to the door. He tries to open it and then with his own staff knocks on the door.

“YOU CAN'T HOLD THE DOORKNOB, BARD! THAT'S CHEATING!”, he shouts.

“Yeah, I can.”, answered the bard smugly. “I have the Stick of Truth which means I control the universe, and I say holding the doorknob is okay.”

I can imagine the bard is also grinning smugly. I bit my lips to not laugh again. People who mess with Cartman are awesome in my eyes.

“UGH, can he do that??”, ask us Cartman.

Dude, didn’t you help to create this game? Why do you ask?

“He has the Stick of Truth, he can do what he wants.”, reminds Craig.

“DAMMIT! There's GOT to be another way into this room!”

Well, there is one.

Princess Kenny is pointing upwards to a trapdoor, where we can see an elf.

We nod to each other in understanding.

She uses her charm ability and like a horny horndog, the elf lets down the ladder to get down to touch Kenny’s boobs. Sadly for him, she knocks him out with her mirror.

“Good job Princess Gone Wild. Double D buddy powers.”, formally deadpans Cartman and starts to eat a pack of cheesy poops.

I just shake my head.

I don’t have words right now.

I give Kenny a kiss on the cheek, ruffle Leo’s hair, then head up the ladder.

In the attic are some elves and mice, but using the environment to my advance I finished them all off without starting a fight.

Now, how to get into the room where the bard is?

That’s when I note that some parts of the attic floor seem to be damaged already. I let the chest stored on a rickety metal shelf fall on them, which creates a hole.

Let’s hope it leads us to the bard.

I jump down.

I’m now in a boy’s bedroom and see the bard standing awkwardly with the Stick before the bed.

I just open the door to let the other in.

“You've nowhere to run, Bard!”, growls Cartman. “Give me the Stick of Truth.”

“Take it from me if you can, W-Wizard King. Step forward now, and fulfill your de- de- and fulfill your de-de-de... Step forward now and fulfill your de- Step forward now and fulfill your de-de... your de-e-e... your deee... Step forward now and fulfill your de-de... Your de... Your deeee...”

Again the bard stutters.

I purse my lips, waiting with the others that he gets it under control.

“Step forward now and fulfill your d-d-d-destiny!”

“You are no match for a Grand Wizard!”

“The Stick belongs with us! And I shall use every bardic power in my class to keep it from you!”

“Fine. You wanna throw down, brah? Kick his ass, Douchebag.”

Of course, I have to do the dirty work.

Urgh.

“Who is Douchebag?”, wonders the bard.

“It’s me!”, I raise my hand and get my wand out. “Fatass gave me the stupid nickname, please call me N.K.”

I and the bard ignore Cartman’s outrage scream and make ourselves battle ready.

Do I need to say that I won?

No?

Good.

Frowning I look down on the defeated bard. It was not fun at all hitting a disabled kid. I hope I don’t go to hell for that.

In triumph King Bouncy Stomach, even if I did all the work, takes the Stick back and raises it high above his head.

“The Stick is ours!”, he proclaims.

All cheer beside me.

Kenny sees that I’m pissed and gives me a soft cheek kiss.

Mmh, I already feel better.

With the Stick back in our hands we make haste to leave the Inn.

Back at Kupa Keep the Stick is back on the pillow and we all in celebration mood.

“Great job, men!”, praises us Cartman. That he can even do that, I’m surprised. “Douchebag, for your heroic deeds and valiant self-sacrifice at the great Battle of The Giggling Donkey, I hereby make you an official member of the Kingdom of Kupa Keep. Welcome to the KKK!”

…What a minute KKK?

Like the racists who wear these all-body white robes?

I can’t finish my thoughts, since Princess Kenny’s tackle-hugs me, which makes us sway, while the others applaud for me.

Oh well, whatever.

I laugh happily and twirl the Princess around.

If this doesn’t secure my place in this game then nothing will!

I’m ready to party with the others, sadly Mrs. Cartman opens the backdoor and calls out: “It's getting late. The Grand Wizard needs to go night-night.”

Cartman facepalms.

“Okay, Mom, thanks for pointing out bedtime for everyone.”

“It's a school night, hon. You and your little druid friends need to-“

“WE'RE NOT DRUIDS, MOM! WE'RE FUCKING WARRIORS AND WIZARDS!”

Damn son, he has really no respect for his mama.

At least Mrs. Cartman doesn’t let him get away with that this time.

She steps into the backyard.

“Oh, that's it! You're going to bed. The rest of you better get home too.”

No need to tell us twice.

So we all leave Cartman alone with his mom.

I wave goodbye at Token, Tweek, and Craig and they wave back before I turn to Leo and Kenny.

I go down on one knee and take my fair princess hand in mine.

“Blessed dreams I wish you, my princess, until tomorrow were we will see each other again.”

I kiss her hand, making her swoon.

“Till tomorrow beautiful, I will count the hours.”

As I stand up, she gives me a quick kiss on the lips and makes her way over to her home.

I grin like a lovesick fool.

“Aww, you two are cute.”, tells Leo.

I wrap my arm around his shoulders and we start to walk.

“Let’s go home, Leo.”

After returning to my new home, I took a long bath to relax from all the crazy happenings of the day.

Then my parents and I had some pizza delivered to us since my Mamma didn’t have the will or the power to cook after she and Papà unpacked all our stuff the whole day.

After dinner, my parents watched some rom-com, while I read one of my manga. I need to catch up on Demon Slayer before I continue watching the anime.

Soon it was time for bed.

I put on my P.J., a cute cat-themed one in pink, and cuddle up with my brown Teddy Bear in my bed.

Mamma opened the door to wish me good night.

“Goodnight princess. I hope you're as happy as we are. Everything is going to be better now that we're in this quiet little mountain town.”   

It’s far from quiet here, but well I had really a lot of fun today.

“Night, Mamma. Say goodnight to Papà for me.”, I yawn sleepy.

“Of course. Sweet dreams my little N.K.”

She closes the door as I close my eyes.

Aah, I earned some good night’s sleep, after all the quests I did today!

I wonder what tomorrow will bring, how the school will be.

I hope I find some friends in my grade too.

With a hopeful heart, I fall asleep.

Next

N.K. Magical Girl-Form

Here is N.K. transformed from my South Park FF. I used the Glitter Cure Maker to make this.

All credits to them.