Ominis: Now, Are You Going To Be Part Of The Problem, Or Part Of The Solutio-

Ominis: Now, are you going to be part of the problem, or part of the solutio-

Sebastian: Oh, the problem, definitely.

Ominis: Th - that was rhetorical, you-

MC: I have some ideas on how to make the problem even funnier than it already is. ✨

Ominis: ....

(Sebastian stomping around, muttering under his breath)

Imelda: What crawled up Sallow’s arse?

Ominis: MC said that the new Niffler she rescued was the ‘cutest thing she’d ever seen’ and Sebastian took that to mean it was cuter than him.

Sebastian: (yelling over) It definitely isn’t!

(Sebastian throws down numerous books, disturbing breakfast in the Great Hall)

MC: (gulping down coffee) I feel bad for whoever is going to end up with you.

Sebastian: It’s too early in the morning for self-pity, MC.

(MC chokes on their coffee)

Ominis: What are you doing here?

MC: I'm here for moral support.

Sebastian: For me or for him?

MC: You'd need to have morals.

This one made me actually laugh out loud!

Rookwood: You kidnapped Sebastian Sallow?

Ranrok: Yes

Rookwood: The Hero of Hogwart's Sebastian Sallow?

Ranrok: Yes

Rookwood: Dude, you are so fucked.

Poppy: Oh gosh, I wish I got more sleep. I only got six hours! Sebastian: Six? I only got three! Ominis: You guys got sleep? MC, stumbling into the room: Hi, what year is it?