There Are Only Like 3 People Who Are Gonna Know What Im Saying Here, But I Have To Say It Anyway: If

There are only like 3 people who are gonna know what I’m saying here, but I have to say it anyway: if you thought it was cool when the THB ripped those robots’ arms off and fought more robots with the arms, then you’re gonna LOVE the fight sequences in Renfield.

The second half of the game was hard to watch, but do take a moment to imagine being SO COOL AND SO BELOVED THAT AN ARMY OF HIMBOS WOULD COMMIT UNSPEAKABLE CRIMES ON YOUR BEHALF.

Do I know anything about Dracula? Or vampires? Or movies? Or anything at all? No. I do not. Did I have the time of my life watching Renfield? I did, thanks for asking.

I, LIKE TED, AM A LITTLE BIT PSYCHIC. “You are my believers” GTFO, MAN!!! AND DON’T LET THE DOOR HITCHYA!

THERE IS ONLY ROOM FOR ONE PLATITUDE-SPEWING AUTHORITY FIGURE IN THIS LOCKER ROOM THANKYOUVERYMUCH

This is a shift, lads. This is a big shift. The sign is was? the front that Ted’s been putting up, and he’s done. He’s tired of that shit. It’s real now. The belief is inside. I mean right before the speech, we saw Ted successfully fucking COPE instead of hiding his pain. And he told Henry something REAL. This is a whole new ballgame, so to speak.

Now, about that Tedbecca scene—

LET DANI SEE A TULIP DAMN IT