GUYS IM GOING CRAZY

GUYS IM GOING CRAZY

I GOT HIM.

IN MY FIRST TEN PULL

I GOT HIM TWICE.

OM

the gacha gods have looked down on my love for riddle and thought lets bless this persons pulls

CAUSE THAT WAS IN THE FIRST 2 PULLS. THEN 3 PULLS AFTER THAT IS ANOTHER

GUYS???? I

i saved so many pulls for him and now i dont know what to do

i. should probably save??? but like. i. i was expecting to use everything to get him so now im not sure what to do exactly.

like. theres some main story cards i want for because duo and because cool but i can also manage without them? cause i do have a working team anyways

bihtu

???

do i keep pulling or?? Idk what to do

i set it as mature because im kind of vaguely referring to it but just in case.

Since I talk about anything and everything on this blog, here are my opinions over live action shows. Note that I am very biased in the sense that I prefer animation over real life stuff, but also live action stuff has stupidly good sound design that it just hits that satisfying part.

But anyway I don't watch them that often. That's partially my fault because I don't keep up to date with news regarding that, however reasons I don't really like to watch them that much is kind of just.. the drama??

Like uhh, let me talk about How to Get Away with Murder. It's kind of crazy that you can have something with that title, but then again there's like a book that's like.. Lol(complete this word) something. I can't remember now but I think it's about uhh a pretty bad thing? (I found it in the wild and was like 'huh I think I've heard of this' and googled it to see if it'd be something I'd like to read. Haha no.) I don't really wanna google to make sure anyway but uh under the assumption that it's kind of over a really bad thing (and probably fiction because I think it's in the POV of the person who is doing the bad????)

So I guess anything can really exist tbh, including a title like that. But so. I got into it cause I had an interest in law and crime stuff. And the beginning part where it shows a thing that's happening, then we rewind back to how we got there. That was really cool, but maybe it's my bad for not knowing what's going on anymore, but with later seasons it felt like it was just plot twisting because without any actual reason besides 'ahh the other seasons did this'.

Anyway. I hate relationship drama. Like there's just this gay guy I think? And he got with someone. And then he cheated and he gets dumped and sad times and I'm just like WHY D ID YOU DO THAT ??? I mean iirc he did it to get like information but om

or like. So there's these pairings. I generally can't remember age difference but I'm pretty sure.. I think her name was Bonnie...???????? It's been awhile so I can't remember any names actually. But so it was I think the main lawyer teacher person's assistant or something? and i think she got into a relationship with a student. Now I think they're all 18 at least but like OM. WHY. Like. It just felt like they were doing the naughty because. with no actual reason?? like ohh lets all put them into relationshipss because. i dont know???

and again i might be completely biased but this is how i felt watching it and so thats what i remember. maybe there is a reason. i dont know. i just feel iffy with the probably age difference. or at least power difference

or maybe i just dont like work relationships turning into romance or sexual ones like om

And then there's this guy who I think is older but I can't remember what his position was. ANd there's this girl whose like also a student? Like okay so basically there's this lawyer teacher person and there's a bunch of students in her class. and she chose a bunch of them to help her with managing cases

But so there's this guy who is NOT a part of that. but pursuing a relationship with the girl despite age gap probably??? I swear there was something something during the show about it that made conflict but im just like what the fuck why

Like okay ignoring all the dark and fucked up shit in like some of the cases iirc, can we not have everyone getting into a relationship for some unknown reason?

and then there was the thing about the lawyer teacher persons husband???? or no ? person she has a thing. with? but i think he has a wife??? but like he basically did a lot to help her win the cases (and also meant he like lost his job or got demoted or something) so that fucked him over a lot

blah blah blah.

also his wife who was like dying or some shit was like to her 'pull the plug' and she did it and then the guy found her and his wife dead and he thought she did it maliciously and im just like CO.MU.NI.CA.TI.ON. PLEASE. and like he might not believe her but also NOT saying it means that its a 0% chance of being believed anyway because you dont propose the idea??

maybe im just like. being. super confused. also i stopped somewhere during like this weird hallucination baby part and i dont know what the fuck happened??? and its like the baby isnt real but the teacher lawyer person thinks theres a baby

and im pretty sure i missed something because i have no idea when that became a thing

anyway i got too off topic. what i mean about my general dislike of live action shows is

drama. because like they have to get some conflict to continue the story?? but it either feels like it comes out of nowhere or makes one of the characters or both characters assholes and really shitty to each other. and like getting good relationships breaking up and getting back together and being toxic and im just like BRUV stop hurting each other?? PLEASE????

often said but MISCOMMUNICATION. the bad kind. like not tcf miscommunication of haha funny, but the kind that breaks relationships??? like yknow the frustration of itd all just be solved if they TALKED TO EACH OTHER

like. i dont know, maybe its just me. but like the first few seasons of a show tend to be like really good? and then it kind of feels like it degrades over time because they're trying to keep it going and so theyre dragging it out, adding bits and pieces here to try and keep the audience hooked.

and dont get me wrong its okay to like those kinds of shows, its just not my cup of tea and probably even more considering age difference relationships are kinda not something i like to see. i mean irl if its like something that makes you happy, and youre old enough to make your own choices and you know what youre doing and being with your partner makes you happy, then all the power to you.

and i honestly might be irritated by the amount of stories where character falls in love with like someone who they work with, generally in a higher position so im more against it.

tbh though it might just be that what i dont like about more darker or like adult shows tend to include doing the thing? because it becomes something dark because thats the kind of show they're in so it inevitably gets dragged down with it ?? like it becomes less 'im doing it because im in love' or 'im doing it and im genuinely enjoying it' and becomes something else that makes me not able to enjoy it. and idk a lot of feels like 'impulsive lets do the thing, wake up the next morning how the fuck do we act'. and thats not to be like you cant do that because you can, but it feels like its generally kind of done to run away from problems or deal with stress without thinking of how they're going to handle it later? so its like doing it with (implied??) consent but not really actually thinking about like consequences so its kind of muddy

or like. doing the thing just because they can? to which its just there because uh plot without actually meaning anything.?? like theres no point and it makes everything more complex and like it brings about a kind of relationship that i dont like and hhh

actually while im thinking about this

can we talk about how like squid game. i think that had a scene where two characters did the thing. and how the fanbase is kind of made up of kids who probably assumedly watched it..? like cause it got really trendy and so on. which is kind of wtf

anyway i dont remember why they did it because i havent watched that in awhile either. who knows maybe they had valid reasons, idk i forgot it even happened until now.

anywayyy theres probably plenty of shows that have none of that (honestly i should probably just find shows with no romance because the few ive seen have probably tainted how i think of them in general). but ive never seen them so womp womp.

to be perfectly clear though theres very few shows ive watched. like theres..

How to Get Away with Murder (idk what season I stopped at) Supernatural (idk what season i stopped at..) Lucifer (idk what season i stopped at) Squid Game The Umbrella Academy (idk what season I stopped at? i cant remember if there was any romance in this one, but I think I watched it to its recentest point at one point. and then like I think next season the one character whose name I cannot remember's actor became of the opposite gender? which good for them and i think their character changed genders too? but that was before next season came and then i didnt keep up with news so had no idea until i went to like the shows wiki tbh) Crazy Ex Girlfriend (honestly it was more me watching it with a friend. there was generally some crazy shit tbh and then we stopped cause watching it was stressful to them. i dont really fully remember what happened but it was weird)

so like really not big enough of a pool for me to really know if theres shows that are different and better. and it might be also because that i watched it my recommendations are then filled with stuff like that

so yeah. shrug.

anyway i just like talking so i wanted to get that out there. i might be totally wrong but if i dont get it out its just gonna keep bothering me to think about it

hhhi guys wanna see me talk about what anime/manga i like

ok

so

my mal page looked kind of boring so i decided 'why not talk about what im fixating on'

and then it. expanded from there... (to be honest i think i just like yapping about anything and everything to people)

so im.

if i ever say a word that doesnt make sense. or well is typed then just know. that probably isnt meant to be there but i wasnt paying attention

also if i drop a line of thought suddenly. know that it is because i started typing on a different part because i kept hopping onto different areas and adding things that i mightve forgotten to go back to because i kept getting hit with thoughts on what to add

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Current Fixations: Twisted Wonderland, Lout of Count's Family, Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint??? (i wanna get into it), Honkai: Star Rail uhh i cant remember anything else (i am slowly crumbling into a mess of sobbing noises as i delve deeper into the stories)

Potential: Debut or Die???? It seems interesting so far but I'm worried about how wacky idol drama might be. (..I remember googling something about it and there's just something about Park Moondae and.. pADS? or like tampons idk? And I'm pretty sure it's made up for drama (in story) but ??????) I really really like Dungeon Meshi. It's not something that's consumed my life that it makes up a lot of what I think of so uh not what I consider a fixation, but I like it and am excited to see it continued. (Yes I know there's a finished manga but I don't wanna get spoiled! This is genuinely a show I got into WITHOUT SPOILERS?? Which is insane because I usually get hit with MAJOR spoilers (end game type lol) that then make me think 'oh cool, that happens?' and makes me watch. But Dungeon Meshi had NONE OF THAT! I like cooking animes A LOT and just found it so I decided to get into it. It was great and I was not expecting there to suddenly be plot in my cooking anime but I don't hate it, it's really cool. I'm hyped.) Also Apothecary Diaries is great. I didn't get spoiled on that one either, I just got into it thinking it'd be something I could just put in the background (I did have it open though in dub so trying to pay attention while doing other stuff) and then it turned out to be actually really good. So, wow. The Promised Neverland season one was PEAK, best thing ever. Season two, uhh... (I did read the manga for that one though!) It also made me understand why MAL separates seasons, which made me very annoyed when I first made an account trying to add everything I watched and trying to add all the MHA seasons barely remembering which one had which. All Saints Street is cozy to watch. I have like the 3rd favorited because of that one episode where they're at like a play or something and Neil (with the help of like the Demon King I think??) suddenly busts out this really cool move. I want to read it's manga (listen I'm going to refer to it as manga because that's the term I'm used to otherwise I will be so confused) but MAL doesn't have that entry..?? It was in whatever state it's called when they're added but you can't interact with it because it's not added added. And now I can't find it so unfortunate. Apparently it has more gayness??

My thing is that I get fixated on something and devour so much content regarding it, and then drop it like a month later with little to no interest. Sometimes I come back to it but not as into it. (Sometimes I stay with it longer then that but I have my finger in a LOT of different fandom pies.)

Things I wanna get into: Black Butler, One Piece, Heaven's Official Blessing, Scum Villain's Self-Saving System (something like that i forgot the name), Bleach, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!, I'm Not That Kind of Talent, Naruto, Honkai Impact 3rd I went through Persona 3 Reload but I haven't seen the anime-related stuff to it yet. Have no idea what happens in The Answer. Vanitas no Carte. I watched one season and then stopped because I wanted to watch it while super focusing because I wanted to really pay attention. ..And then I never started. I wanna see what the hype about Nier:Automata is about but for the life of me I just can't get into it. Kind of want to get into Pokemon but I think I'm way too many years late on that train. Also I've started blanking out on what's going on with the.. Horizons?? Anime?? The new Pokemon anime.

Was fixated on but kinda not so much now? (Still keeping up with it): Oshi no Ko, My Hero Academia, Jujtusu Kaisen, Bungo Stray Dogs

Manga I want to read: Toilet-Bound Hanako Kun?? I saw the anime but that apparently skipped some arcs and then I never got into reading it. I finished Hunter x Hunter's anime and wanted to get into the manga to continue from it but then I never did it so oops but I don't remember what happened. Haha did I mention I forget things easy? ..Maybe Solo Leveling? I watched the anime but I honestly don't like the appearance change. It's probably just because of preference since it's not bad it's just not a thing I like. But I feel like I should because it is probably interesting maybe???? S-Classes That I Raised. I think the being looked down upon because 'so and so' would break me but TIME TRAVEL? Also story because goddamn like the beginning part?

Old fixations but will still like: Assassination Classroom was great to me. Ending always got me crying, and I like interacting with stuff related to it. Violet Evergarden is 10/10 always makes me cry even on rewatch, what a masterpiece. There's also Demon Slayer which I know the ending of but I really like seeing it brought to life in the anime. Hyped for the movies but also hell because movies take so long to appear in a streaming platform and already spoilers. Movie quality is crazy though so excited. Anyone remember that one fan animation of Zenitsu AND* (i said x but not in a shippy way but an 'and' way and i realize it could be taken the wrong way SO) Kaigaku or something that looked genuinely like an actual thing?? There's Spy x Family's movie which I haven't been spoiled yet but AHHHH. Danganronpa was a big fixation I had for awhile to be honest. Yuri on Ice was SO GOOD??? I do this thing where something gets popular and so I avoid it as much as I can. And then I turn around late to the party and get into it. I shouldn't but I do. I can't believe I didn't get into it when it got super big but I also probably wouldn't really remember what happened by then. Genshin Impact consumed my life until I ran out of storage so I got into Honkai: Star Rail. I'm not too too into Genshin anymore but trying to keep up with it? Kind of?

Dead fixation??: Fairy Tail I think was one of the first few anime I ever watched and I loved it so much. And also I don't remember anything that happened so... I kind of got into EDENS ZERO but I'm not that fixated and I'm not the biggest fan of fanservice. That one episode where, well, spoilers, but y'know the one where suddenly everything is going wrong and people are dying and then it turns out it's like a weird sort of power the protagonist who I cannot remember the name of for the life of me but is like Lucy but other character?? Her?? has??? It got dark QUICK and that was cool to see. There was also Sword Art Online? I really liked it but I have no idea what's going on now. One of my favorites was like Gun Gale Online to be honest though.

it. was originally meant to be just current fixations. but then i thought isnt that too little??? so then i started talking about things i kinda liked but wasnt sure on and then it spiraled from there

who the fu--

i wanna talk about friends with benefits and then of that turning into like an actual relationship (ive been reading a story with it so i wanna talk about this. not gonna mention the story because im kind of worried there's gonna be something dubious idk i havent finished it yet but theres a person working on it whose done a different work with some very .. um . worse than dubious things SO)

like. i dont really know what ppls general thoughts on it are but i feel like i potentially might be understanding of the side that doesnt get as much attention?

like. okay. so. like friends with benefits, and then one person pops the question of dating and the other.. has some sort of negative reaction. or like, didnt even expect it

and like. i understand it being like bUT sO and SO because its the main pairing and obviously they're gonna get together, right?

but so. i as a person can empathize with the one who gets asked the question

because its like. like i can understand their shock? with the question coming out of nowhere, right? cause its like, even if there are all these hints or anything that could be signaling 'hey, this person probably likes you', why would they think about it when its emphasized over and over again that they're 'just friends'. friends. friends. friends. and like if they start to develop feelings then its like, either not realizing, denial, or circling back to them just being 'friends'

so then insert any manner of negative reaction here

and i feel like they're valid because it just comes out outta nowhere. i mean dont get me wrong the person being possibly rejected's hurt is valid too cause it takes a lot to pop the question and take that next step

but its also like.

so story time

theres this person whose pronouns i dont know (i know they changed to opposite pronouns at one point but i have no idea if they stuck to it or if its changed again so they/them to be safe)

but so like. me and them were like really close friends, right? like we talked to each other everyday and it was like we were siblings, and we treated each other like siblings (it sounds weird in text. but its like. yknow how you call people like sis or bro to someone you're close to but not necessarily related? or like. like yknow how theres hyung and oppa and noona in korean which can be used to refer to a sibling but it can also be used to refer to people not related to you but are probably close to???)

then out of the blue they confessed to me and im just like. what??? and i rejected them but so i was caught completely off guard. if there were any signs beforehand i was completely blind to them

but its like. i never saw them that way, but then it was like i realized that there could be something?? like i started thinking about it in our interactions later and could probably see us getting together. its just that before it hadnt occurred to me so it felt like i didnt feel anything of that nature for them

but that once i realized that it could and had time to think over it, that i couldve felt something. like idk maybe i was speedrunning getting a crush or maybe its just this thing that was growing in the background that i didnt notice until then

anyway me and them didnt get together but so thats why i kinda feel more for the person being asked it out of nowhere (for them i mean) in stories

(yknow what? this might be why when watching like the full moon episode on helluva boss i defended blitzo first instead of the general reaction of defend stolas, defend blitzo later on rewatch/reflection)

like i mean if the reaction is really bad then oof i feel bad for the person asking it

but im more understanding of the other needing time to think it over, to rethink interactions with that person in that kind of 'could i love them' light

like cause idk at the time it could feel like they dont feel anything. but then they think of it with, i guess those kind of rose-colored glasses, interacting with them with it and thinking that maybe they could like that person like that, right?

i hope im making sense. i cant be sure.

cause like. i understand that it can be a little hard to handle because its like. doing the deed is usually seen as like something between lovers, right? you're being really intimate and kinda vulnerable with someone and so thats what its usually associated with. so it kinda feels like how can they not be in love, right?

so i just kinda hope that my explanation made even a little bit of sense

anyway im gonna get back to reading (im only 1/3 of the way through fshuifs)

[Twisted Wonderland Theory] Floyd's Nicknames Analysis

(Image from the Twisted Wonderland Wiki fandom)

MC/Yuu: Shrimpy/Koebi-chan

Shrimps have thin and fragile legs. MC/Yuu lives in Ramshackle, and due to the conditions of the dorm, it's likely that the MC would get sick a lot and doesn't consume much nutrition. Someone also told me that shrimp is also kind of an insult for a small person. Although since MC is the player, they can be whatever height you want.

Grim: Seal/Azarashi-chan

Grim does kind of look like a seal. Sort of.

Riddle: Goldfish/Kingyo-chan

Goldfish are intelligent, like Riddle. In the sun, their skin produces pigment, like how humans become more tan. The pigment makes their skin become a red color, like Riddle's hair.

Trey: Sea Turtle/Umigame-kun

Green sea turtles are primarily herbivore, and Trey's favorite food is sugared violets, and violets are a plant/flower.

Cater: Sea Bream/Hanadai-kun

A sea bream is a fish that's commonly eaten. A sea bream's skin color will vary depending on the water type and environment, like how Cater is adaptable to many situations.

Ace and Deuce: Crab/Kani-chan and Mackerel/Saba-chan

I think their hair color and style just reminds Floyd of a crab and mackerel fish.

Leona: Sea Lion/Todo-senpai

The lifespan of a sea lion is 20-30 years, Leona is 20 years old.

Ruggie: Suckerfish/Kobanzame-chan

The electric yellow cichlid is the most recognizable suckerfish. Ruggie has dirty blonde hair. Yellow is like the way brighter version of blonde.

Jack: Sea Urchin/Uni-chan

Jack's hair is spiky like a sea urchin's. A sea urchin can also drill a hole in a rock, I guess this kind of resembles Jack's physical strength.

Kalim: Sea Otter/Rakko-chan

Sea otters have a pouch on their body where they keep their favorite rock and other things, kind of like Kalim's treasure room.

Jamil: Sea Snake/Umihebi-kun

Basically their snakes that live underwater, nice. They are found in warm coastal waters, like how Scarabia dorm is located in a desert.

Vil: Betta Fish/Beta-chan or Beta-senpai

Betta fish are native to Thailand and are famous for its colors and large, flowy fins which they use to fight. The fish resembles Vil really nicely.

Rook: Seagull/Umineko-kun

Seagulls learn how to learn, remember, and pass on behaviors which help them catch their prey. Similar to how Rook remembers a bunch of information on different students and tricks his prey in order to catch them.

Epel: Guppy/Guppy-chan

Guppies are nicknamed rainbow fish, they are characterized by different colors, patterns, shapes, and fin size. They are also highly adaptable, like how Epel was able to adapt to Pomefiore despite not liking the dorm much.

Idia: Firefly Squid/Hotaru Ika-senpai

Firefly squids can flash lights in countless patterns, either in unison or individuality, this resembles how Idia's hair legit glows.

Ortho: Sea Angel/Clione-chan

Sea angels are really unique. They have little, tiny horns which are sensory organs and their wing-like structure called parapodia are actually feet. Since their transparent, we can see their heart. This resembles how Ortho has all these gadgets on him and how we can see his "heart". Sea angels catch prey by shooting out tentacles, like how Ortho can shoot his magic laser beam.

Malleus: Sea Slug/Umiushi-senpai

Sea slugs are really dangerous, they have poisonous skin and are even cannibals, I infer this is supposed to resemble how dangerous Malleus is.

Lilia: Flapjack Octopus/Mendako-chan

I infer Floyd chose this nickname because of Lilia's hair style and height. His hair sort of kind of looks like the body of a flapjack octopus and both are pretty small in height.

Silver: Jellyfish/Kurage-chan

Jellyfish are silver/white and Silver has silver hair. They can also be bioluminescent, so they can produce their own light, which can be any color, including purple and blue, and sometimes, Silver's eyes seem to be a purple-blue color.

Sebek: Crocodile/Wani-chan

Well, their are some green crocodiles out there, I think.

Crewel: Beak Fish/Ishidai-sensei

Both are striped. Crewel has strips on his fur coat and beak fish have stripes on their skin too, both are black and white.

Sam: Seahorse/Umiuma-kun

Seahorses look very bony. Sam has a bone print on some parts of his clothes.

Trein: Red Squid/Akaika-sensei

I infer that Floyd chose this nickname because Trein wears a maroon coat, which I guess reminds him of a red squid.

Vargas: Lobster/Lobster-sensei

This is pretty self explanatory.

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Okay, that's all. I have a headache.