My All Time Favorite Quote From Anything Ever.

My all time favorite quote from anything ever.

[id: Dipper Pines covered in stuffed animals with a bucket and a bag of golf clubs on his back, eyes all squinty, caption: “Get this on tape in case I die or whatever.”]

whichever one helps you sleep at night

here’s some random sentences that i found that are pretty funny/interesting:


He excelled at firing people nicely.


She did a happy dance because all of the socks from the dryer matched.


He was the only member of the club who didn't like plum pudding.


He embraced his new life as an eggplant.


There were three sphered rocks congregating in a cubed room.


I want a giraffe, but I'm a turtle eating waffles.


She always had an interesting perspective on why the world must be flat.


Behind the window was a reflection that only instilled fear.


When she didn’t like a guy who was trying to pick her up, she started using sign language.


Eating eggs on Thursday for choir practice was recommended.


When he encountered maize for the first time, he thought it incredibly corny.


He had decided to accept his fate of accepting his fate.


I was fishing for compliments and accidentally caught a trout.


There was coal in his stocking and he was thrilled.


The pigs were insulted that they were named hamburgers.


She thought there'd be sufficient time if she hid her watch.


Kevin embraced his ability to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.


Being unacquainted with the chief raccoon was harming his prospects for promotion.


When he asked her favorite number, she answered without hesitation that it was diamonds.


I honestly find her about as intimidating as a basket of kittens.


They say people remember important moments in their life well, yet no one even remembers their own birth. (this one just made me question my whole life but i thought i’d put it here anyway just so you can feel the same)


There's an art to getting your way, and spitting olive pits across the table isn't it.


Iguanas were falling out of the trees.


Flesh-colored yoga pants were far worse than even he feared.


I was starting to worry that my pet turtle could tell what I was thinking.


It was the first time he had ever seen someone cook dinner on an elephant.

y’all ever just stretch a little bit too hard and start seeing this