I Dont Want You Back; It Just Makes Me Mad To Think About How You Broke Us

I don’t want you back; it just makes me mad to think about how you broke us

Every time you are tempted to fear, remember that God is with you. He was there the last time, the time before that, and the time before that other time. He’s not going anywhere.

“I pray for everyone, but who gon pray for me?”

Pretty sure I’m splitting on a friend. But if it’s for my own good is it technically splitting??

My manic, right now, feels… very normal. And now I am second-guessing if I am actually bipolar or if self diagnosed to BPD is in my head. Like maybe I'm just a normal person that sometimes gets very depressed and doesn't know how to handle it.

I recently heard a story about a diagnosed BPD patient and it seems so far off from me but not really. Like the more extreme version of what I go through every day. Granted they were on drugs very heavily but still…

Like I have a more tame version of BPD… BPD Lite™️ if you will lol.

Or maybe I just want it to be BPD because it's "cool" and not just Bipolar II. Obviously I know there's nothing cool about being borderline. And obviously I'm a phony.

I don't know I just feel like a different person every day and I feel like I've been a fake version of normal for a couple of months. But it feels great to be “normal”.

Maybe it's the lack of drugs. I'm almost certain the lack of drugs is what makes my mental health a little bit more stable.

Maybe my mental health really just depends on what is going on with my life. What mental illness is that?? Or is that even mental illness?

I wonder if narcissism affects how BPD presents itself in a person. I feel like that's the case for me. Like I have a little bit more control over it or like it's a lot easier to mask to other people.

Boy oh boy am I spilling my guts lol. I may delete this eventually maybe I will regret this when I'm famous. Or maybe this will be relatable to someone. I'm 30 so who really cares at this point lol. But I do very much care about what people think of me so maybe I will delete this tomorrow. For now I'll keep this up… This is just a very odd stream of thoughts I guess.

Enjoy my tumblr post I guess

Playlist idea: “Music To Yacht To” featuring this song…If someone doesn’t do it, I will Lol

This is my favorite song on this album; I wish it was longer.