Sick To My Stomach Knowing You Might Be Happy

sick to my stomach knowing you might be happy

old and also new

When you found me, I was on a shelf. Dusty, used, longed for, yet forgotten. Then I met you. You plucked me off of the shelf. You brushed the dust off me, patted me on the head, And said, You will be fine my love. You will be mine. You will be loved. You showed me love for a short time. Then, one day, you did what everyone else had done. You found a new doll.  You put me back on the shelf, and soon enough, there she was. Now I shall collect the dust once again. 

that crinkly, dried up bouquet fell in my sleep,

and i didn’t even wake up.

i’ve been sleepwalking long enough, just tell me.

or do i come to you in omens, too?

i will never forget the color of your eyes.

unfortunately that is only my demise.

alternatively.

Looking at the digital clock, red numbers aglow, the light doesn’t outstretch to where the room is graced with a moonlit hum. There, between these two echoing waves of luminescence, a shadow rests. A deep, deep, shadow, that you look into like you look to the bottom of the ocean. Unseen endlessness. These shadows exist in other ways, between other glints and gleams, these shadows pool up, with no discernable depth. There in those shadows, in this void, I indulge in the belief of other existence. Within these voids rests parallels, souls, worlds unknown. Since we cannot see what these shadows conceal, there is no way to say what does or does not lie beyond them. Maybe that is not a fair way to argue it, but what in this world is fair? In this world, lest I can imagine, lest I can enjoy. But in that one - there I can go as I please. There, those multiverses, those lost longings, those creatures I wish to meet. I imagine a warm, overdue greeting when I arrive in those worlds. Maybe in one of them, you still love me. Maybe in another, beloved pets live forever. Another, entities roar and garner a respect lost in this one. And another, there’s two moons in the sky, and each star talks. Universes await, and in each one I am welcomed. Floating in a fleeting world, only to disappear when the sun rises again, or when you turn on a light.

i’ll cherish everything we didn’t get to do.

all the dates we never went on,

the cape trip we never took.

the way we never got to dance and the way we never got raising canes.

silly, don’t you think?

no, not the raising canes.

loving every minute of what we never got done.