I Am Once Again Melting

i am once again melting

ok we haven't talked much but you just give me pink vibes 🩷 for me i associate pink with a person to be easygoing, fun and lovely so...there we go!

HI IZZY THIS IS SO SWEET TYSM!! who doesn’t love the color pink 💖💖

please go follow @from-izzy </3 her old acc is gone, so i'm hoping my lil post can at least bring her back to where she was !

you: my favourite scene | tbz kim sunwoo

» ​PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x fem reader/original female character​ » TROPE/AU​: friends 2 lovers! non-idol au! (high) school au! » GENRE​: fluffy fluff, bit (?) of angst, ​sunwoo is super loving, understanding and patient, hurt and comfort » WORD COUNT: ​5562 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~20 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): heavy mentions of food, disordered eating, brief mentions of abandonment, topics on mental illness (implied depression and anxiety)

this was my first story i ever uploaded on tumblr! this gained 88 notes (8 rbs, 80 likes) and that number is still so massive to me. i remember seeing my very first like notification and i was so surprised that it happened within around 12 hours of when i first uploaded it (pretty sure it was midnight tho so i couldn't be as chaotic as i would have really been)

but here it is again!

def better grammar and punctuation (i seriously dk how i let those mistakes passed when i first uploaded it). i did do some editing, replacing dialogue/thoughts to narrative sentences because i didn't want to necessarily post a story that i wasn't proud of (and also because i wanted to keep my stories similar to the original ones before so...yeah).

please remember that all your struggles are valid and i sincerely hope that the world around you is a place full of love, hope and kindness. never feel inferior with asking for help. i believe that asking for help is one of the bravest things ever.

When your roommate texted Sunwoo as a final choice, the boy didn’t hesitate to rush over despite it being extremely early in the morning. He didn’t spare his friends a response when he logged out of the game and ended the call, sprinting over in his pyjamas and a random jacket from his hanger. He probably woke his sister up but he didn't care about the consequences at the moment.

About a year ago at the classroom, Sunwoo walked back to get his wallet, cursing to himself as he had to line up once more at the back of the line and his stomach was not having it after skipping dinner the night before. He caught your friends sighing and was incredibly frustrated at you for not taking care of your health. Sunwoo knew the situation was serious and was about to leave, holding in his anger until after school, not wanting to disturb Choi Jiyeon, his seatmate and new friend. His worries took over when her cries were louder and he approached the scene.

They were pretty much strangers at this point. School had only started for a month and they only got to know each other then. Sunwoo didn't know what took over him to approach the same group back then.

Jiyeon didn’t expect the sudden appearance of the boy, her eyes crying as she kept on denying her friend’s request to go eat something. Jiyeon loves her friends but unfortunately, they are not too understanding of her situation. So when she craned her head up to silently plead at Sunwoo through her tearful eyes, he made up an excuse as they both left the classroom. That day Jiyeon told him about her struggles and Sunwoo remembered promising to himself that he would research and stay by her side; as a seatmate.

But now the following year, Jiyeon's roommate opened the door for Sunwoo, smiling weakly as she gave an acknowledgment nod to the guest. He knocks on the familiar bedroom door before introducing himself and entering the room.

"Heard from a little birdie that you haven't eaten in a while." This situation isn't new for either of them; heck Sunwoo has seen her tearful eyes, full of tears so many times, yet it still breaks his heart to pieces whenever he gets the news from her close friends or roommates that she hasn't been eating for the past couple of days.

The first time it happened again after the day in the classroom, Sunwoo panicked and had a tunnel view to just get food in her stomach, believing that was the most important thing. He didn’t expect the next episode to occur so early and he has not researched the topic very well at that point. But as time went on, Sunwoo learnt certain signals from her, what she's comfortable with as well as to just provide her comfort in the hard time. 

When Sunwoo opens the door to the bedroom, he sees the fully covered figure under the blanket, gulping his sadness down. It’s the scene that he hates the most: You just lying down, lifelessly in bed, crying and fighting alone. You would never call him no matter how much he’s offered and it made him worry more as time passed. "Jiyeon…it's Sunwoo."

Sunwoo could see that she heard him, shuffling slightly as a reaction, "Sunwoo?" she whispered too gently for him to hear. Unlike his previous visits where she would make the effort to make eye contact with him, Jiyeon kept herself hidden as the past month, she has established her own feelings towards her friend.

Sunwoo nods even though Jiyeon can't see it. The bed sank a bit as he sat on its edge, "Is there anything that you were maybe wanting for the past few days?"

"I don't know…"

Sunwoo's heart clenches at how dry and lifeless her voice is. Before he knew it himself, Sunwoo slowly pulled down the blanket much to Jiyeon's surprise and she sat up to try and get the big fabric over again when Sunwoo pulled her weak body into a hug instead.

"You're so cold…" Sunwoo held onto Jiyeon tighter than ever, arms around her shoulders, resting his face on the crook of her neck.

Jiyeon's breath hitches at his warm breath against such an intimate place, "S-Sunwoo…" that only led him to tighten his grip on her upper body even more.

"Please let me get something for you…" He couldn’t bear seeing her suffering alone like this.

Jiyeon thought long and hard about something that she is able to put into her mouth easily, also thinking about her ability to swallow the food without feeling guilt, "I…guess I want some meat mixed with vegetables…like the ones inside of dumplings…but I don't want the dumpling skins…"

Sunwoo's face visibly lit up at the mention of the food she wanted, nodding excitedly at the request. He pulls away, smiling at Jiyeon and repeats her order once again, "Ok! I'll be back! Just stay here and I'll be rig---"

"No wait, don't go!" Before Sunwoo could fully let go of her hand that he had excitedly shaken earlier on, Jiyeon clasps her tiny hands on one of his hands, pulling him back down to the bed, "I don't want to be alone…"

"Hey, you're going to be fine." Sunwoo's expression softens again when Jiyeon looks up at him desperately and fearfully. With a soft act of comfort, he uses his other free warm hand to caress her cold cheek, "If you want me to stay, I can order delivery. Is that a better plan?"

Jiyeon nods, tears flooding her eyes at the way Sunwoo was so delicate about the whole situation. She slowly crawls over to the edge of the bed with the blanket rolled up on her hands, going closer next to Sunwoo.

The boy just observes her movements until she sits next to him, taking note of her shivering figure and pale face. Carefully taking the material from her hands, Sunwoo stands up and wraps the fabric around her shoulders, tucking the edges in to stop warmth from escaping.

To Sunwoo, Jiyeon looked like an extra adorable burrito and he couldn't help but blush profusely at the endearing sight. He bends down from his standing position, tucking stray hairs behind her ears, "Do you want me to make the call here or outside?"

"Here…" one of her hands escaped from the warm environment, "could you…hold my hand?"

"Of course, I will."

Sunwoo kept his word, giving reassuring squeezes and thumb brushes on her hand during the whole call. He tried his best to keep the food names short and concise, not wanting Jiyeon to be stressed by the whole situation. When the phone hung up, Sunwoo sat down comfortably on the floor in front of her, still holding her hand, "It'll be here soon."

A comfortable silence envelops them both as they stare into each other's eyes attentively. If she didn't read him wrong, Jiyeon could see sparks of life and happiness in him, as well as comfort and warmth in his eyes. The sight made her heart beat faster though she also worried that her crush on Sunwoo made her delusional about something that wasn't there in the first place.

When Jiyeon downcasted her gaze, she missed the way Sunwoo slightly frowned as he pouted a little, "I'm sorry…" She couldn’t finish her sentence verbally but what she wanted to really say was: sorry for wasting your time and money on me when you could be using it for other things. Why couldn’t she say it? It’s not as if Sunwoo would look down on her in any way. He would’ve done so ages ago if that was the case.

But no.

Sunwoo stayed by her with those gorgeous, patient gaze and that smooth, comforting voice. That did scare her because she fell in love with Sunwoo even more and giving her heart to someone else, is a big gamble. With that, she stayed quiet because she had a feeling that if she ever said anything, he would smile awkwardly, tap her shoulder timidly and walk away without another doubt.

"For what?" Sunwoo didn't get an answer when he realised that Jiyeon started crying, her mind filling up with horrible thoughts and ideas, "Jiyeon." He jumps up from his cross-legged position, crashing his body to hers once again, "I have no idea what you're apologising for but you haven't done anything wrong, so don't apologise."

"Sunwoo…I--" She struggled heavily to form any sentence in her head, let alone in real life. Sunwoo hushed her, cradling her face between his palms, "I just can't…"

"Can't what?" Sunwoo whispers back. Even if his tone was stable, his heart started beating fast at the possibilities behind her words. The words would have ranged from the smallest to the biggest of things and Sunwoo didn’t even want to begin to think of the possibilities. While Jiyeon only shakes her head, not answering his question explicitly, he just nods, opting to give her physical comfort like before, "I'm just going to get the food alright? It should be outside the door."

Jiyeon couldn't answer, feeling numb and tired as the tears just kept flowing down. Sunwoo himself was on the verge of tears. He recalls the day when he was late to the first day of last year when the new student became his seatmate for the school year. Sunwoo knew the moment she flashed her smile that his heart would be in deep trouble yet, he still introduced himself with an entrancing smile anyway.

"I'm not going to leave you alone." The said girl widened her eyes when she heard the slight voice crack in his sentence, seeing how tears pooled in his eyes, "I promise you that I won't. I'll be right back."

"Please come back soon." With shaky hands, Jiyeon couldn't help but cradle Sunwoo's cheek, brushing his skin with her thumb delicately.

"Close your eyes and count to forty-five. I'll be back in front of you when you open your eyes." With a nod and her voice starting, Sunwoo dashes for the door before relocating to the kitchen, washing his hands and peeling off the dumpling skins, putting them aside for him to eat later on. Putting the filling back into the container, he sits down on the floor again whilst catching his breath and when Jiyeon opens her eyes, he's surely there with a comforting smile.

Jiyeon wrapped her arms around her body tighter when Sunwoo smiled warmly at her, "You're actually back…" A lone tear fell off as she worried herself over and over again, "You came back…" 

But the thing is, Sunwoo has always come back over and over and over again.

Sunwoo frowns at the comment, feeling his heart clench at the way you were most definitely worn out from your fight. Unlike previous days when she would smile back and thank him, it seemed like there was something definitely on her mind today, "You know I'll always come back for you right?"

"Yeah…" though it felt unsure. Sunwoo wasn't sure what made her so hesitant but he couldn't help the hurt to flash against his eyes as he nodded at her words dejectedly, "I'm going to give the container to you, alright? As always, I'll sit behind you, back to back and just wait for you, okay?"

Her gut swirls with anxiety and suddenly the white, somewhat translucent takeaway container didn’t seem scary to her anymore. But the boy that held onto it while thoughtfully reciting the plan that they have always adhered to? That made her look away.

"Sunwoo, I think you should go this time…" The fear took over her and she blurted the sentence before she even knew it. All the thoughts that freely swarmed in her head suddenly collided against each other and Jiyeon bought her blanket to cover the lower part of her face.

"W-What?" With no clear answer from the girl, Sunwoo's frown deepens and he gulps in nervousness at her words, "How about if I wait outside? Hm? Is that a better plan?"

"O-Outside…?" She recalls a random day after school when they were both playing basketball together.

"Yah Kim Sunwoo!" Jiyeon fell into a fit of giggles when Sunwoo engulfed her back to his chest with his arms around her waist tight, swaying her around to keep her away from the ball, "This is foul play!"

"Whatever you say!" Sunwoo kept her in his hands for a little more, smiling brightly as the basketball bounced further away from them. When their laughs die down (though their smiles haven't), he turns Jiyeon around to face him. He grins, the corner of his lips stretching widely to the sides.

Jiyeon couldn't do the same however, the comments from her friends that she's falling in love with Sunwoo filled her head. She didn’t really know why she kept on brushing it off. Jiyeon always believed that love would come and she would always tell herself to accept the feeling. But when reality strikes, it feels like all the pep talks and preparation vanished without a trace. Nervously with wide eyes, she looked up at the mischievous boy who only looked at her with a fond smile, "Sunwoo." she whispered to him.

"Hm?" For the first time in a while, he lets one of his arms around your waist go, only for it to fix your hair up a little bit, waiting for your response. Sunwoo lets himself bask in the feeling of being close to Jiyeon, loving how physically close they could be without feeling awkward; or at least that’s how it felt to him. Undeniably, Sunwoo knows he has fallen in love with the teenage girl and though the feeling scared him, he allows himself to let go of his fears at least just this once.

"If, just if, one day I told you that I can't hang around you anymore,” Jiyeon finally looks up at his slowly concerned gaze, “what would you do?"

"What would I do?" Sunwoo crashes his eyebrows together in confusion, "Well, I mean I don't need to think about this because it'll never happen though! I'm too awesome for that!" He finishes with his widest, signature grin. 

Jiyeon laughs at the very Sunwoo-like response before continuing, "Just an ‘if’…you never know what could happen in the future."

"Well," Sunwoo didn't even want to think about it; a day where you would push him away indefinitely. He’s definitely thought about it, no doubt. Most of the situation was about how he would confess and it would ruin this friendship that he could never dream of letting go, "it'll depend on the situation but I would wait for you. If it's just during that certain time when you need immediate space, then I would wait outside for you or something. But if it's long term," His hand that was playing with your hair stops, cupping your cheek gently as he looks longingly into your eyes. 

Sunwoo knew at that point that he was indeed very much in love with Choi Jiyeon. Days of questioning have finally brought him this realisation and he smiled radiantly with the thought in his head. Jiyeon gives a confused frown but slowly starts to relax it to a smile when Sunwoo’s thumb caresses your blushed cheek softly. 

Sunwoo enjoyed this moment where it felt like you were the only ones in the world, all the surrounding noises blurred out from your attention. His thumb that rested on your cheek unknowingly moved back and forth as you enjoyed the soothing act.

Sunwoo's action made the world around Jiyeon stop momentarily. With that beautiful, deep, loving gaze, she waited, "If it's long term?"

He sighs out, "Look, I don't even want to think about the long term. But I know, and I know for sure, that I'll wait for you."

"You…will?" Jiyeon breathlessly confirms as Sunwoo nods with a small tiny smile and half-lidded eyes.

"I will. I’ll always wait for you. So don’t worry yourself over such a thought."

"Promise?" Just like little children, Jiyeon holds up her pinky between their faces, waiting for Sunwoo to link them together. 

He chuckles before sealing his words with the old ritual, "Promise."

Jiyeon squirmed at the promise that she practically forced him to make. Yet Sunwoo still kneeled before her with his hands under her smaller fingers and hands. His hands became colder by the second as his grip became just a tiny bit tighter, hopeful for a positive response.

Your response, however, cut his heart like a knife, "I think…you should just go home, Sunwoo…" 

The last class before lunchtime commences with the students waiting and hustling about the room, waiting for the teacher. Jiyeon’s seatmate talked to her friends from the row in front, telling her the menu her mother packed for lunch, and her friend responded with something similar. 

The discomfort grew too familiar for her and Jiyeon wanted nothing but for the seat to swallow her, hoping that something would protect her from hearing such words about the one thing she couldn’t stand the most at the moment. Or she wished that she could run away like she did instantly when morning break started. When the strict teacher finally came, she couldn’t be any happier at how his booming voice made the whole class quiet instantly and Jiyeon gulped down harshly as a thankful tear came out from her.

In the opposite classroom, Sunwoo clenches his phone underneath his table as his bank account balance is shown once more. He stares at the higher number, furrowing his eyebrows at the transaction made into his account. Further information shows that Jiyeon was the one who did the act and he scoffs in confusion and dumbfoundedness, “What the hell is she doing?” 

Sunwoo thought that he knew Jiyeon well: where she would go when she was happy, when she was sad or when she was struggling. But the earlier morning break proved him otherwise as he ran practically through the whole school to find you, both for the relief of seeing you as well as to ask what was in your mind the other night when you said those hurtful words to him. 

Looking to his left, where he could see the girl on the other side through the classroom windows, he sees the tired look on her face and that signature lip bite that she always does when she's in a hard time. The class was about to end in three minutes and Sunwoo was going crazy about how impatient he was to run into the other room. He made sure his headphones were connected to his phone, turning up the volume a little bit to hear that it was connected properly without being caught by the teacher in the act.

When class is dismissed, he bumps and squishes through people from both classes to a desk in the middle of the class. Girls were entranced with his presence and the boys were greeting the social boy. However, Sunwoo had a really small tunnel vision, only running to a downcasted figure that when approached closer, was just her trying to hold in the cries with her hands on her ears to block out the noises.

Sunwoo comes around to the side of the desk, his phone and the neck of his headphones in one hand. Amongst the still bustling area, he’s surprised at how much he can hear Jiyeon's shaking even though it actually was really quiet. That made him realise how tense and angry his facial expression would’ve been, his heart softening when he heard her struggles.

Carefully, Sunwoo stood behind Jiyeon, picked a random song and tucked it away in his pocket. His left-hand wraps around her tense wrist softly, lowering it down to her lap, whispering words of comfort before engulfing her left ear with his headphones. He did the same with the right ear afterwards, carefully observing how her body slowly relaxes at the tune.

Sunwoo thought that he knew Jiyeon well: in this situation, he could relax that he actually did. 

He waits patiently for her to come back to the present, sitting down on the table directly behind hers as he watches the song change from his phone screen for the next fifteen minutes. Sunwoo feels the pain once again: the pain that he couldn’t take away as he could do nothing but wait for her to acknowledge his presence. Upon last night’s events, Sunwoo was contemplating just leaving his phone on her desk and walking away as he didn’t know how glad she would be with him near her. The thought doubled the pain in Sunwoo’s heart and he decided to click the phone to sleep. Before he could put it on Jiyeon’s desk, however, her body visibly relaxed and Sunwoo widened his eyes and froze, knowing that she’s fully calmed down now. 

Jiyeon’s crying eventually ceases, opening her eyes with a final sniff. Usually, when she did let the light back into her eyes, Sunwoo would be in front of her, flashing that beautiful smile of his that she had come to fall in love with. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she didn’t see the usual scene. Her hands come up to both sides of the headphones, pulling them down to rest the headband on her neck shakily. She knew all too well that even when she was crying with her eyes tightly shut, it was Kim Sunwoo. 

It was Kim Sunwoo that came to her rescue and made her feel safe once again.

It was Kim Sunwoo who waited for her to calm down when everyone knew how much he cherished his break time and food.

It was Kim Sunwoo who made her fall in love all over with him once again. 

Jiyeon just stared down at her undecorated nails, pretending to find something interesting about it. In reality, she was just biting her lips, shutting her eyes back and forth in an internal battle to look back at the figure behind her. Her shoulders slumped unconsciously as she recalled her passive actions to Sunwoo the day before, basically kicking him out of her apartment. Jiyeon mulled over her actions the whole night, knowing well that it was so unfair that she pushed Sunwoo out when he most probably rushed over to help.

“Thank you.” Jiyeon says clearly to the person behind her. Sunwoo heard her gratitude clearly, nodding softly still with an incomprehensible face as he just looked at his shoes below him. Noting no response from him, Jiyeon twists her upper body back to see the dejected Sunwoo. Her heart clenches at how he didn’t make the effort to even look up, wishing even more now that he would at least flash her a smile. But that is too much to ask after what happened and Jiyeon knew that, “Sunwoo, I---”

“Why did you send me money?” His tone wasn’t welcoming at all, icy and cold as if he hated the girl. The students that were in the classroom were no more when they heard his tone, quietly packing up and walking away, not wanting to get involved in the drama; though of course, they’ll talk about it outside the classroom.

“I-I just…” Jiyeon stammers, gulping her nerves down. She notices how Sunwoo clenched his fists. The one that held his hand was clenching so hard that his phone was waiting for him to confirm if he wanted to shut the device down, “For delivery last night…”

“You’ve never paid me back. Why now?”

“O-Oh..I can transfer more. I’m sorr---”

Sunwoo scoffs, his whole face grimacing in anger, “That’s not what I meant.” His fiery orbs finally met down with Jiyeon’s red ones, her tears still escaping here and there. All Sunwoo wanted to do at the moment was wipe Jiyeon’s remaining tears, cupping her cheek and pulling her warmth to him. But not now. It’s not the right time, “Jiyeon, I don’t understand why you pushed me away. Of course, if you need space that’s fine. I would always give it to you if you need it, without a doubt or question. In fact, if you need it right now then I’ll leave. But that’s not the only thing you did. You transferred me money and you think that I’m asking for you to pay after all those times?” He stopped for a second, a million sentences running in his head that he rehearsed last night alone in the confused darkness.

“I just…haven’t been able to pay it back.” Jiyeon didn’t know what else to say. She adjusted her position, turning her body so that the left side of her body was facing him, her foot hitting the rear chair leg. Sunwoo didn’t miss how her small fists were now side by side together on her thighs as she stuttered to find some words, “S-So…yeah.”

“Yeah?” After a short time to finally breathe after his long rant, Sunwoo managed to ground himself back, his emotions no longer heated. But now, his heart weighed heavily at everything between him and Jiyeon, “Don’t pay me back.” Sunwoo’s voice wavered, turning his head to the side, trying to control his emotional state, “I did all those things because I care for you, Jiyeon. I care about you so much that it physically hurts me when you’re crying alone, fighting alone like that. You never let anyone in and although I want to say that ‘it’s alright’, I also want to say that it’s not. You have me. Jiyeon, you have me. But you just pushed me away.” 

But it’s hard, isn’t it? To show the side of yourself to someone that you desperately try to hide. It becomes even harder when you try to hide it from someone you like, “I think…” Jiyeon whimpers at the words she’s about to say, contemplating to say it. Is she really going to push him away like this? Will she ever be able to let go of the fact that Sunwoo won’t be her friend anymore? Will she be able to let go of Kim Sunwoo in general? Her heart beats for Sunwoo but her mind is telling her that with all the love Sunwoo receives, why would he ever pick her?

Sunwoo raises himself off the table with the intention of walking away and giving Jiyeon some space. Looking down at the top of Jiyeon’s head, he couldn’t help but blurt out a bit of his feelings, “You don’t know this but I’ve never had a crush on someone before.”

The sudden new topic made Jiyeon lift her head up to face Sunwoo. Unexpectedly to her, Sunwoo was already looking down at her with absolute adoration when he said his words. Jiyeon gasps lightly when Sunwoo starts to lightly tear up, “S-Sunwoo.” Forgetting her earlier thoughts, her body reacted first, standing up to be in front of him, “Hey…why are you crying?” Testing the waters very carefully, Jiyeon slowly raises the back of one of her hands to wipe his cheek.

Sunwoo, of course, lets her do so. He takes notice of her warm hands that completely contrasted yesterday, feeling comforted as he lets out a relieving breath and a small chuckle. Both of her hands were resting on Sunwoo’s cheek so gently, with her thumb wiping motion on his cheek, that he felt like his whole body was being wrapped comfortably by her. He just kept on staring at Jiyeon’s worried expression and the way her lips were throwing out words of comfort, “How am I supposed to ever walk away from you when I’m so in love with you?”

Jiyeon flinches at the sudden confession and before she could back away, Sunwoo quickly places his palms over hers back to his cheeks firmly. His eyes look weak due to his own tiredness from not being able to sleep soundly yet full of strong love for the woman in front of him, “W-What did you just say?”

Exhaling softly at the way Jiyeon looks so unsure, Sunwoo repeats his main point differently, “I’m confessing my feelings for you.” Her once confused parted lips, found each other once again as she searched Sunwoo’s eyes and all over his face for any lies, “I’m not playing with you, Choi Jiyeon. I can see the reluctance in your face.”

“Sunwoo, you have girls lining up for you,” Jiyeon whispers to him, her tone convincing him that something is wrong. “Waiting for you. Girls who are so much easier to be with. Girls that won’t push you away. Girls that won’t make you run out of the house at midnight. Girls that are…not a burden.” In denial, Jiyeon shakes her head, “You don’t lik---”

“Is that what you think you are to me?” Sunwoo counters her calmly, “A burden?”

“I’ve always been a burden all my life. Why do you think my parents left me?” Jiyeon lost all the strength in her arms, and the only thing holding her hands on Sunwoo’s cheek was all his effort, “My grandparents are loving but their lives would’ve been so much easier if I was nev---”

“Mine wouldn’t,” Sunwoo interjected. Whatever it was that she was about to say, it was something to put down her self-worth and he couldn’t handle such things coming out of her. Lowering both of their linked hands, Sunwoo intertwines Jiyeon’s hands with his, “You don’t know how much energy you give me every day. How much motivation you give me throughout the day. How loved and cared for you make me feel.” He shrugs, ignoring the loud beating of his heart, “But now I guess I’m finally telling you.”

The apprehension in Jiyeon’s eyes made Sunwoo comfortingly smile, hoping to ease some of her anxiety. Just like what Jiyeon did towards him earlier, he lets go of one of her hands to rub his thumb on her cheek. It was silent as they were comforting and seemingly communicating with each other through their loving gaze at each other. And so when Jiyeon lets out a small smile, Sunwoo beams brighter than ever, “I like you, Kim Sunwoo.”

“Then date me. Date me and let me love you back.”

Jiyeon blushes at the straightforward statement. Sunwoo flutters his eyes shut as she brushes the hair away from his face, “You won’t regret this?” she breathes the question softly.

Sunwoo shook his head, gently placing his forehead on Jiyeon’s, “Not if you won’t.” He responded in a similar manner. 

“Sunwoo.” Jiyeon turns to her side and glares at her boyfriend who has been staring at her for the last three minutes. Not only did it distract her studies but the way that he looked at her so mesmerisingly made it hard for her to even breathe at this rate, “Stop looking at me.”

Sunwoo kept an innocent smile, pushing his face further forward, pressing a quick peck on her lips, “Why?” He playfully asks.

“You said you were hungry! Go get some food!” Jiyeon pushes Sunwoo away by the shoulder, the male dramatically pushing himself back, “Don’t be dramatic!”

“Fine fine, I’ll go.” Sunwoo drags out the last syllable in the sentence, frowning and slumping on his chair a little bit before standing up with his phone, “Do you…want anything?” Jiyeon could only smile softly as usual, stopping her vigorous typing on her computer at his question.

It’s been more than three years since their relationship started and Sunwoo has been so patient in her journey that every single time he carefully asks the question, Jiyeon could feel her heart melt and fall in love with the boy more and more each time, “Give me a kiss before you go.” She puckered her lips to him, tilting her head up.

Blushing furiously at the unexpected request, Sunwoo buffered before leaning down to hug his lips with her familiar ones. His hand was on Jiyeon’s nape, softly holding her head in this intimate moment. Jiyeon melts even further with his attentive actions, smiling widely in the kiss. Before completely pulling his hand away, Sunwoo brushes her hair out from her forehead to press another kiss. Leaning away to face each other with rosy-tinted cheeks, he asks once again, “Anything else?”

“Make sure you have a safe trip there and back.” Jiyeon presses a kiss on Sunwoo’s cheek before ushering him to go. But he didn’t do anything as he just kept on staring at his girlfriend who reflected the same glimmering look of love in her eyes towards him. Sunwoo’s hand, which still didn’t leave her nape, prevented her from turning away, “ Kim Sunwoo, stop looking at me! I'm not that nice to look at…"

It wasn’t Sunwoo’s plan to stare at Jiyeon for that long. He’s just naturally attracted and so in love with her that he didn’t realise that she was the only thing that he would search for in a whole hall of people, with different colours and different noises. Choi Jiyeon finally let her walls down as they overcame life’s challenges together hand in hand. Kim Sunwoo couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her. "You will always be my favourite scene to look at."

navi/masterlist!!

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where my journey started!!

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this summer... | tbz lee jaehyun | hyunjae

» ​PAIRING: tbz lee jaehyun x fem reader​ » TROPE/AU​: don't think there's a trope for this one 🤔 established relationship au! » GENRE​: summer break, holiday with friends, boyfie hyunjae, hyunjae's cute curly hair makes an appearance!, very fluffy patient hyunjae, very cute hyunjae, comforting and lovely hyunjae, summer holiday cause we all deserve to rest, maybe around...4/5 comfort level (in my standards!), hyunjae tucks your hair behind your ears, reader blushes because of boyfie hyunjae, long-haired reader who uses her hair to hide from hyunjae, standing infront of the mirror together as you both face your insecurities (hyunjae is also taller than you) » WORD COUNT: ​6384 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~25 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): insecurities, weight and body image

repost for @deoboyznet's 📢❤️ first house event!

just went back and fixed up the grammar and writing mistakes (there were a lot, i don't know how i missed it 😭)

Summer holds a very soft, warm spot in your heart.

For one, it’s the way the season is conveniently placed in the middle of July to the end of August which is the best time to destress after almost half a year of studying your ass off.

Secondly, it’s the way that you would shout “cannonball!” whilst you and your friends linked hands and jumped into the backyard, outdoor swimming pool.

Thirdly, it’s the way that you can flexibly work your schedule for a short amount of time: waking up, sleeping whenever you want to, studying when you want to and hanging out with the same friends when you want to.

Fourthly, it’s the way that every single food tastes so much better in the sunny summer compared to other white winters, the sneezy spring and the awkward cold-but-not-too-cold autumn.

But it’s also the way that you met your boyfriend in this beautiful season two years ago when he transferred to your school, alongside the fact that he shyly (but confidently, at the same time) asked you to be his a year ago at your favourite beach. You remember the way his cheeks flush with surprise when he turns back upon Younghoon and Jacob’s mischievous giggles, telling him to turn back to see you stare at him in bewilderment. The truth was revealed later on that your friends plotted the confession, complaining about your blindness of the lovesick eyes that you both sent to each other yet doing nothing about it.

To celebrate your last high school summer break together, Jaehyun’s closest two friends, Younghoon and Jacob, would come together with your slightly bigger group to spend a little four-day, three-night getaway at Jeju Island.

All of you have been talking about this for ages and how it would be a fun treat for making it through the last decade of compulsory high school and to give an encouraging pump for the last half a year left before you all finally become adults and take your own pathways. You all saved money like crazy even when you all reached the budget that is needed (you never know what could happen!) and the exciting day finally starts off tomorrow with Jacob driving one car while Seoyoon drives the smaller 4-wheel drive. It’s a shame that they couldn’t find a single car for all six of them at a reasonable price but they are all thankful for the opportunity to even share these memories together. 

“Are you all ready for tomorrow?” Your mum peaks in after she knocks on your bedroom door. She was just as excited as you are, seeing how much you worked so hard both at school and your efforts on saving money for the last three years, “Give this to Jaehyun for me as well.”

“Hm?” You took your eyes off your still messy luggage to see, what you assumed to be, a black leather jacket that was folded neatly with a red ribbon wrapped around it; don’t forget the simple small card with his name on it, slipped in the middle of the ribbon. 

“It’s his birthday gift. It was his birthday recently, right?” Your mum’s considerate act made you smile brightly and you jumped up from your knees to give her a tight hug. With your arms around her neck and your neck on her shoulders, you squeal in happiness, “Okay, okay I get it, you love him very much.”

You jump, still in your mum’s arms with your head in the clouds as you picture your loving boyfriend that you will be able to spend time with nonstop for the next four days or so, “I really really do. He’s just so perfect, mum.”

“Yes, yes. I’ve heard this way too much. Now let go of me, child. You need to finish packing.” Your mum rolls her eyes playfully and you know there was a big smile plastered on her own face with the way her words were delivered so clearly.

“Okay, okay.” With a quick kiss on her cheek, your mum disappears to the other side of the door. You let out a sigh of happiness, putting Jaehyun’s gift next to your luggage as you imagined how cute, good, hot, handsom---

“Also,” You jump a bit, hands on your chest when your mum surprised you this time with no further notice of her presence, “stop stealing his clothes.” You just giggle guiltily as her uninteresting eyes direct themselves to your overfilled, messy closet, “One, you already have a lot. Two,” back to your giddy figure, “he’s going to go broke.”

The whole house was sleeping, recharging from their own personal tiring events from the day. You should probably be too as you’ve all planned quite an early morning to get the most out of your holiday together. Instead though, somewhere in the middle of your packing, you couldn’t help but call your boyfriend, “Can you…” 

“Hm?” Jaehyun on the other side of the line was also about to call you earlier and his face lit up when your name popped up on his screen, the familiar and specific ringtone bouncing around his four walls excitedly, “What’s wrong?”

The both of them curled up in their own respective beds with hushed voices full of love and adoration. Their phones were near their own faces as they lay down on their side to face each other’s respective profile pictures on their phones. At first, they wanted to do a video call but Jaehyun adamantly refused as per experience, they would not be able to sleep until about an hour before they were supposed to wake up. As much as you both know that you (probably) shouldn’t be doing that during school times, sitting next to each other during recess and lunch, with your head resting on his shoulder and his on top of yours as you both tried desperately to recharge quickly for the next periods, you both concluded that those late night (early morning) talks have always been worth it.

“Can we just…not sleep tonight?” You offered, your cheeks red as you pulled your blanket further up your face to hide as if Jaehyun could see you over his phone, “And just talk?”

“You know we shouldn’t, bubs.” Jaehyun hums, whispering back to you softly, “Plus we will literally be together for four days.”

“Well,” You grumble, sighing out as you finally voice the rough mathematical sound in your head, “technically less because we won’t be in the same room and then after that, there will be toilet breaks and then we lose milliseconds when we blink our eyes and then we won’t be in the same car as well, which is a big deal and it’s ju---”

“Okay okay, so maybe it’s not for a full ninety-six hours.” Jaehyun’s amused chuckle made you softly smile again, closing your eyes to focus on his comforting voice, “But we should get to sleep now, hm? Let’s just keep the phone on, okay?”

“Ah! I forgot to tell you abou---”

“Bubs.” Jaehyun scolds you playfully. You could make out the grin on his face and the way his eyes form little crescent shapes as you just whine about not wanting to fall asleep yet, “Tell you what.”

“Hm?”

You make out the shuffles from the other side of the line, telling you that Jaehyun is getting into a more comfortable position. This made you kick your legs and squeal into the phone as you knew what he would say next. Jaehyun shakes his head at your obviously delighted response. He sits up on the bed, laying his back on the bed frame. With his phone on his lap, he continued to make his little ‘deal’, “I’ll sing and you sleep.”

“Fine.” You rolled your eyes but the tone of your voice gave away what you truly felt, “Night, Jae.”

“Goodnight, bubs.”

You woke up refreshed, the tune that Jaehyun sang to you last night replaying in your head. You forgot to charge your phone last night so when you said ‘good morning’ and didn’t receive a response back, you were worried that something happened to the other line. Quickly jumping out of bed to reach for your power bank and starting your phone up with a series of impatient ‘come on, come on’, you thought you could beat your boyfriend’s text first.

With a bear and a heart next to his name, your notification showed the ‘good morning, sleepyhead.’ and the ‘beat you to it first, bubs.’

You slap your forehead gently to scold yourself. Forgetting to charge your phone overnight during an overnight phone call isn’t new to you and you made a bet with Jaehyun that the next time it happens (which is, just then), you would be the first one to send him a ‘good morning’ text, beating his unbeatable strike of twenty-three.

“Well, that’s twenty-four now.” The heartwarming feeling spreads through your body again and the smallest things that Jaehyun did made you feel so loved that you felt that you were out of this world.

You plop back down on your bed, stretching your arms out to the ceiling with your phones in your hands as you watch the ‘ringing’ switch to a stopwatch to show the duration of the call, “You beat me.” Jaehyun chuckles through the speaker mode.

“Good morning to you too.” You see the request to turn the voice call into a video call and you pick it up immediately, “Ah, my girlfriend is so pretty in the morning.”

“Lee Jaehyun, stop.” You pull your hair over to hide your face, peeking through the gaps to see him blow a kiss at you. You blew one back, your cheeks still flaring red and warm, “If I look pretty then you’re a masterpiece.”

“As if.” With the new angle of the phone facing towards the ceiling, you observed the way that your boyfriend enters a new room, turning on the lights to start his morning routine. Jaehyun puts his phone against his bathroom mirror but due to his height and the lower table, you can no longer see his face. But you didn’t need to see his face to know what he was going to do. 

Your regular morning and night phone calls served as a kind of ‘get ready for’ something together and it also allowed you both to become more comfortable with each other during your first stages of dating. When you were just friends, these calls weren’t regular and only happened when you both needed to get something off your chests, or maybe rant about a nightmare that you had and needed some comfort. When you both started dating, it naturally became a regular thing you both indulged in, spending hours studying or watching movies together at night and spending your morning hours together before you hung up when you both were back to each other physically.

So you knew very well what Jaehyun was going to do when he let out a loud exhale and plugged his hair straighter into the power plug on the wall where the phone was near, “Straightening your hair?” You didn’t ask this question often. Most of the time you asked is either because you both weren’t currently talking or were too busy in your morning routines.

“Yeah.” He lets out a loud exhale and you observe how his chest leans forward toward the mirror, presumably to take a better look at a part of his hair that is already straightened, "Just…" another sigh, "yeah."

You nod at his words. Turning over to lay on your stomach to be in a more comfortable position, you just watch Jaehyun's arms moving left to right, up and down as he readjusts his hair with the help of his mirror. The series of 'tsk' from the other side of the line made your heart clench and you couldn't help but reassure him, your chin resting on your arm, "I love your curly hair, Jae."

You know how much Jaehyun gets insecure about his natural hair sometimes. The very first time you saw it was when you arrived at Jaehyun's house really early when you both were only friends. He opened the door for you to wait inside but due to his nervousness about unexpectedly having you over and walking to school with you for the first time, he forgot to finish his morning routine.

You remember greeting him with a shy smile and 'good morning' and he didn't even get the chance to say it back because your eyes travelled up to the very different hairstyle he has compared to the one you see at school. No need to say, he shut the door on you and the whoosh of wind left you stunned at the front door for a while.

When he opened the door again, you sweetly smiled at him, complimenting the natural shape of his hair. His worries about you seeing him as different (and possibly in your eyes, ugly) all disappear when you offer to straighten his hair for him.

Lee Jaehyun was a tomato throughout it all, especially when you said you like boys with curly hair. Like, what was he even supposed to do with that information?

"R-Really?" You lift your chin, coming closer to the phone screen when Jaehyun's face comes into view, "I-I just…I look so ba---"

"You look gorgeous." You quickly interrupted and you relaxed when Jaehyun let out a genuine sigh of relief. You took note of how his smile grew and his eyes looked at you thankfully, "I promise."

He retrieves his phone back to his hand and places his now gleaming face in the middle of the screen, "Thank you." He blew a kiss to the screen and you returned the gesture back before finally starting your own morning routine before Seoyoon arrived.

It's only around thirty minutes later when Seoyoon texted her arrival and you scurried down the stairs with all your necessities chaotically, "I think I'll hang up now. Lyla will not let me live otherwise."

"Yep, even though she's the biggest contributor to our relationship." Jaehyun remarks, "See you soon, bubs."

"Love you, see you soon!"

You turned off your phone, pocketed it safely and dropped your luggage in the trunk of the car. Hopping in with an excited feeling, you were quickly attacked with your own words that you said a couple of minutes ago.

"Love you, see you soon!!" Lyla imitates you, a series of eyebrow wiggles and teasing smiles on her face when she turns her body over to face the back seat where you just groan and roll your eyes.

"Hey. You and Jacob aren't any better." Seoyeon defends you swiftly and you poke your tongue out at your now-defeated friend.

"They're so cute, it physically makes me sick." Your backseat partner, Sua comments.

You squint your eyes at her, "I'm not sure whether that's a compliment or not but I'll just accept it and move on." Seoyeon watches her best friend from the rearview mirror, nodding and clicking her tongue in approval while humming in thought, "What?"

"You and Jaehyun are perfect for each other indeed." Seoyoon starts the engine again, turning up the music to a desirable amount for the hour-long trip to the resort.

You blush at that, murmuring to yourself, "He's perfect for sure." 

The holiday just started and it’s already so much better than you expected. While waiting for your gate to open, you pass Jaehyun’s gift from your mum, your boyfriend putting it on straight away despite the warm weather and sending a video message to your mum in gratitude. Lyla also planned a 'little' daily schedule for you all to follow the past few days. The later bloomers were not particularly happy with starting the day at nine and ending it at eleven on the same day and through choruses of opinions, she scrapped the idea and reduced the amount of group activities. You reassured your best friend that you would still do the main things that she wanted to do together and you were satisfied with the way she tackled you down on the bed in happiness. 

Other than that, you all did an awesome job at finding this beach house. The location of the beach house is convenient and with the time of the year, a lot of night markets and activities were planned each day to celebrate the warm season. The area is filled with other couples and not so surprisingly other students who are enjoying their short freedom before they have to bury their whole bodies underneath a pile of books and practice exam papers. 

“We’re finally here!” You all walked out and breathed the minty fresh air and salty sea as you stepped out of the airport, “This is so exciting!” Sua pulls both you and Seoyoon by the waist, squishing you three into a tight hug, “We’re going to have so much fun.”

You chuckle and affirm her words, “But let’s get the car first.”

Jacob points to the familiar plate numbers and along with Seoyoon, figures out the final arrangements, all the terms and conditions before finally attaining the keys from the person in charge.

“Can I---”

“No. You already spent like an hour with him on the flight.” 

Sua gives you a deadpan look and Lyla pushes the girl lightly, “Just let her go. Jaehyun is looking at us with puppy eyes as well. Go with Jacob though, don’t want to see you two being all lovey-dovey.”

“Ew.” Sua throws her head back and jumps out of the hug, “You know what you both go in Jacob’s car. I’m going to go with Younghoon and Seoyoon.”

You took Lyla’s hand with your chin held high, teasing Sua’s look of grimace, “Not a problem with me.” As you were about to grab the handle of your wheel bag in another, Jaehyun ran to your side and beat you to it, giving you a quick kiss on your cheek.

His smirk grew at the way your cheeks grew red at the lingering feeling of his lips, “You weren’t giving me any attention.” Lyla squeals and runs away from you to hug her own boyfriend instead. Still frozen and shy at the unexpected act, you turned your head to the side with raised eyebrows, a gaped mouth and being absolutely speechless, Jaehyun shrugged innocently, “I was getting kind of lonely, bubs.” 

“Lee Jaeh---”

Another kiss this time was given straight to your lips, muffling your complaints.

“Wha---”

Your internal body temperature is rising to be as hot as the summer heat and Jaehyun knew that he needed to cool you down or else you were probably going to murder him for making you so flustered in the middle of the walkway entrance of the airport door. He dips his head down once more to ghost over your plumper lips and before you can say anything else, his palms land softly on both sides of your waist, encasing you in his hold. His thumbs soothe down the sides of your body particularly along your ribs as you gasp from the delicate touch before he dives in to kiss you once more. Your own arms lift and you cross your wrists over on his nape, pulling him closer and responding to the kiss.

You felt nervous as you were out in public, tens of people just walking by or just standing around, but it all dissipated when you felt his breath on your lips. The kiss itself wasn’t heated like some of your other kisses with him but rather sweet and gentle. His lips would hug your lower lips before pulling away a little bit and hug your upper lip instead, relishing the way you would respond to him as a smile grew on both of your faces. He would do those little nudges and brushes with his nose on yours and you giggled as it meant that his playful self appeared to replace his flirty self.

“A bit jealous?” You asked him with your foreheads against each other.

“No.” Jaehyun smiles so widely when you both make eye contact, so much so that his cute little eye wrinkle smile makes its appearance, “A lot.”

That's how Jaehyun showed his love to you throughout the trip. It would also be holding hands whenever you both could, filling up your plate with more food whenever it got empty, making you walk on the inside of the walkway, dropping you off at your room door as if it wasn't just across and a little bit of a turn to his own room with the other boys, reminding you that you're beautiful and that he loves you every day.

Just.

You love this man. So much. With all your heart.

And Jaehyun knows that. From the way you would use your palm to block the side of his face due to the wind, to how you would give him the first bite of your ice cream, reminding him to put more sunscreen and applying it to his face every so often, to the way you sweetly kissed him on the lips as you both rested for the night.

He loves you. So much. With all his heart.

He managed to prove to you that every single day for the past two years you were friends, the past year and a half when he developed a crush on you, and the last year ever since you confessed your feelings to him back after him.

But you see, it's just unavoidable that you would still have those times alone when you would look at your body and feel self-conscious about it. You're human after all. It's normal to have a drop in confidence sometimes but the stereotype of girls in summer with their tanned skin, humongous sunglasses and revealing bikini got to you sometimes.

Your boyfriend is a godsend. It's no secret that girls would crush on him and the boys want to be him. I mean, with that kind heart, sexy brain (and body) and handsome visuals? Seriously, what did you do in your past life to receive this much love from a single person?

"You're not changing?"

Snapping out of your daze from your messy luggage, you could see your three friends all in their own choice of swimsuits and bikinis under their beach towels and robes. Seoyoon stares at you worriedly through her pink sunglasses.

"Um." You try your best to show a genuine smile, "I'll be there, just trying to swallow down that heavy lunch. You guys go on ahead."

You would be stupid if you thought they would believe that. Six years of friendship with a punt lie like that? Absolutely not. But they didn't question you further as you just bit your lower lip, feeling your confidence drop down once more. They know you just wanted to be alone after telling them that you felt sick and that you ate so much after lunch.

This is the part of summer that you hate.

As much as summer does hold a soft spot in your heart, sometimes the reminder that the sun is made out of fire literally made your head hot due to the overthinking that you always did somewhere along the way before you stepped into any type of swimsuit. 

Deciding to succumb to your thoughts for a little bit, you sit down on the edge of the bed in defeat. You look out to see the sun's circumference not too far away from kissing the edge of the ocean and you could feel yourself starting to cry as you tried to push your dark thoughts away.

"Come on." You pleaded with yourself to pick up a swimsuit, any swimsuit, so that you can go meet with the others and watch the sunset together by the beach before you would all need to pack up and go back to reality tomorrow, "Please…" You whimper in desperation.

The balls of your feet step onto the side rail of the bed and you begin to sob, your arms wrapping your abdomen tightly in frustration. The water runs straight down from your eyelashes to your thighs and those droplets eventually make their own path from there as well.

You want to see the sunset as the beach water splashes and hugs your lower body. You want to see the sunset with your friends and your boyfriend together as you maybe do a little water fight against each other. You want to see the sky turn its bright colours to darker hues that signal younger children to turn their devices off and go to sleep. 

You want to do all that so badly.

You released all your pent-up feelings through your tears and the cawing seagulls constantly reminded you that you were running out of time as the circle in the sky would eventually just sink and it would not stop or wait for anyone or anything. You managed to be in a swimsuit on the other previous days. So why now? When this whole little "let's see the sunset together in the water" was your idea. Why? Why why why---

You shouldn't have eaten so much in the last few days, feeling the difference in your stomach but also outside through your own eyes. So still with these burning thoughts and blurry vision, you just close your eyes, shove your hands into your suitcase, and take the first cold elastane fabric in your palms and change into it. Throughout your trip, you would plan your outfits with the help of the full body mirror that was placed behind the door, taking selfies with your friends as you all pulled funny faces together. 

This is the only outfit that the mirror didn't see and the camera did not have save, and you didn’t think anything or anyone could change that. Quickly, you grab an oversized shirt, pulling it over your body to quickly realise that it's one of Jaehyun’s that you stole. You chuckle between your ragged gasps for air, sitting down on the bed again to continue your cries for a bit more. Before you can even hug your body once more, the knock on the door makes you whip your head backwards towards it.

"Bubs? Are you okay?"

You whimper at the familiar voice behind the door and you shake your head, not trusting your ability to answer verbally. Of course, the door isn't transparent and Jaehyun himself is only human too and understandably, your lack of response only makes him worry more.

"Hey…I'm going in alright?" The door clicks open with that and you hurriedly wipe any last bit of tears on your face, running your wet palms along the clothing that covers half of your thighs. You still couldn’t help your sniffles though and it was enough to have the smile on Jaehyun’s face and his soft steps to change quickly, “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?”

You only shook your head in response, your fists clenched the shirt in frustration as you began to drown in your own thoughts as well. Jaehyun kneels down in front of your downcasted head and if you looked up, you would be able to see the sad smile, the way his eyes gaze at you with patience and love. Carefully, his hand reaches out to your now-white fists. His fingers lay on the back of your palm while his palm lays on your knuckles, his thumb soothing the exposed sides of your pointer finger.

He made his presence to you with small, gentle steps from there: tucking your hair behind your ears, making a joke about how he thought he lost the shirt you were wearing, and letting out a harmonious chuckle when you responded to his joke. With time, he even manages to let your hands go off his now crinkled shirt, holding both your hands instead.

"I'm sorry." Is the first word you said when you broke the silence. 

Pouting at that, Jaehyun leans forward to kiss your tired knuckles, "Don't be. You haven't done anything wrong."

"I have…" You whisper guiltily, "We missed the sunset right?"

"Hey, don't you think about that right now, okay?" He shakes his head at your worries, "That's not important. What's important is why you were crying alone and feeling sad about something."

"I'm just---" You sigh exasperatedly. Your eyes haven't met Jaehyun, just taking in the way your hands were between his. The changes in your physical appearance made you so weak and frustrated, "I just don't feel good about my body and you're literally so perfect and I just can't keep up with how perfect you ar---"

"Stop, don't say that about yourself." He lets go of your hands, scooting over and straightening his back. You close your eyes, sniffling once again as you feel your boyfriend's hands cup your cheek, lifting your messy face to him. He wipes the rest of the tears that escape from your eyes with his thumbs, leaning to press kisses on both your eyelids in an attempt to ground you back. 

You open your eyes to see the love hearts that swirl around his eyes freely, the crease between his eyebrows and the somewhat serious face he has on. 

"He's mad at me…" and you bit your lip to contain your assumptions to yourself, scared that Jaehyun would affirm it and want that could result, "Please don't leave me."

"I wo---"

"I'll make myself look better in every way possible, just please give me time."

"Bubs, what are you talking about?" Jaehyun shakes his head at your rant while his head tries to pick up the pieces together to make a sort of confusion, "You're perfect as you are. Don't ever change yourself for anyone. Including me."

"But those girls are so pretty, Jaehyun and you would look so much better with them. Or maybe with me if I was somewhere on their lev---"

"Please look at yourself the way that I see you through my eyes." It was soft, almost like a hush. But you catch the way his lips move when you go on a tangent and you stop yourself from going further.

Jaehyun stands up, making you stand up as well and brings you in for a hug, his hand behind your head and the other around your waist. You let out the rest of your tears on his chest, punching him lightly while your palm pushes your stomach in frustration.

Jaehyun doesn't care about your punches to his chest but he immediately catches your other hand, pulling it away to the side of your body. His hand wraps itself around your wrist tightly, stopping you from pulling it back, "You're gorgeous." His hold on your body tightens as he recites the words that you said to him a few days ago through the latest video chat you both had, "I promise."

"Jaehyun…"

"I don't care about other girls. Who cares about them? When I have such a gorgeous girlfriend inside and out and bonus for me, loves me for who I am?" Jaehyun puts a small distance between his chest and your face, gazing down at you and planting a kiss on your forehead, "Wait here for a bit?"

You nod at the question and he leaves to go to the bathroom. While he left, your eyes went back to the view outside the window and you could predict how much time had passed as the circumference of the sun started to really make contact with the ocean. The guilt settles in again and you curse yourself for ruining the last group event of the whole trip. 

But before you could really drown in the darkness again, Jaehyun stumbles out of the bathroom and you gasp at his wet hair and the darker spots on his shirt due to the water. You walk over to him, your mouth moving in different shapes though no voice was heard.

Jaehyun chuckles at the way you retrieved a towel and laid it on top of his head, beginning to dry his brown hair with circular motions, "Thank you." He takes the towel with one hand, continuing the motions himself while his other arm snakes around your waist to pull you back to his chest.

You rest your chin on his left pectoral, observing the little curls of his hair starting to make its appearance and you smile fondly at how it would disappear underneath the towel and reappear again. When Jaehyun puts the towel around his neck, you couldn't help but reach out to play with one of his curls, trapping the strands between your thumb and pointer and gently tugging it, straightening the strand until the end, only for it to retract back to its formal shape.

"Having fun there?" Jaehyun comments when you do the same action to other strands of his hair. Slowly, a joyful smile comes to your face and he feels relieved at the pretty sight, "Come here for a second."

He led you to stand in front of the mirror and you immediately turned back to hug your boyfriend, scowling at how messy you looked, "I think I just saw a ghost." You complain, hiding your face in his chest. 

"Oh?" Jaehyun gasps out dramatically, "What where? I hate ghosts but I'll protect you!" Just like before, he held you close with both of his fingers intertwining behind your back. 

You both stayed like this for a moment longer. Jaehyun's heartbeat calms you down and you exhale in contentment at the way he starts to sway from side to side slightly. The familiar scent of your shampoo, unknown to you, makes him feel the same calmness as well as he faces his insecurity head-on through the mirror.

You took notice of how Jaehyun's body felt a bit tense compared to how it was with your last hug. From the lower side angle, you can see the way that his jaw tenses at the look that the mirror is giving him, gulping at his own reflection. Turning your body around to face the mirror, still within his hold, you ignore how much you hate your own reflection, staring at your boyfriend's eyes instead.

Too deep in his thought, you rest your forearms on top of his, this time your palms on top of his like how he did before, "Love your hair, Jae."

You can see the slight flinch when your voice pulls him back to reality. You blush when he dips his chin down to your shoulder, whispering his own words to your ears, "Love your body, bubs."

The mirror showed the couple's full body, including the parts of themselves that they each hated the most. But the mirror also showed the both of them together as they embraced and basked in each other's love, reminding the other that their insecurities were valid but that they still love the other the same way. 

You realise that when Jaehyun washed out his hairspray, using a towel to dry his hair to make his natural hair come back instantly. You realised once again that Jaehyun is truly in love with you, so patient and so kind with your journey and the smile that grew on your lips which each realisation made Jaehyun blush and bury his face onto the crook of your neck.

You remind yourself internally at this moment, as you face yourself straight into the mirror, "I'm enough and I'm gorgeous." And the deep inhale of the cold but warming air that enters your lungs, untangles Jaehyun's hands and with no pressure, places itself on your clothed stomach. He presses a kiss on the underside of your jawline, whispering sweet nothings to you.

You turn your head to face him this time, not through the mirror, the tips of your noses together, your eyes closed and your mind at peace, "Thank you."

"No, thank you." A shake of his head and a kiss on your lips, "For loving me and treating me like I’m perfect."

“You’re perfect in my eyes.”

“Took the words right out of my mouth.”

You were able to watch the upper half of the sunset with your friends at the beach. Seoyoon, Lyla and Sua could see the tranquillity on your face and they looked at each other, sending nods, knowing that you were fine and doing okay now. Just as you wished, you were able to fully feel the salty water around your entire body, leaving the oversized shirt somewhere on the big volume of sand behind you.

All of you know that this trip was way better than you had expected. It would be a trip that you would talk about and look back on for the rest of your life. It's a summer memory that you will hold on to not only because all your hard work in your jobs paid off, or your first trip with all your friends and boyfriend without supervision, or how Jaehyun loves you dearly.

This summer taught you that you love the people in your life right now and how fast time goes by as you surround yourself with them.

This summer gave you confidence that you will be able to go back and study more when you're back and pursue whatever it is that you want.

This summer taught you that you're enough as you are and that you should be kinder towards every part of yourself, to treat your body for going through all the hardships that life has given you.

This summer also made you fall in love with Lee Jaehyun deeper and you are sure that your relationship will grow further and stronger from now on.

You can't wait for the new things you'll learn next summer but that's something for later. For now, as the sun continues to set further and you all run back to land to set up a group photo with the scene as the background, you envelop yourself within the bounds of Jaehyun's arms.

"Love you." You quickly kiss him before turning back around to pose for the camera.

"Love you more." He squishes in audibly before the camera snaps.

Oh, how you'll remember this summer.

tags: @deoboyznet 📢❤️

REEEEEEEEEEE 😭😭 WELL THAT WAS A NOTIF TO WAKE UP TO 💕 thank you sm for reading my work 🥺 means a lot that the author of the first ever tbz story that I read, just read my own work 🫶 life can be so crazy fr 🫂

[02:04] | tbz lee jaehyun | hyunjae

» ​PAIRING: tbz lee jaehyun (hyunjae) x fem reader​ » TROPE/AU​: friends 2 lovers (mentioned from backstory!), non-idol au! established relationship au! marriage au! » GENRE​: fluffy fluff, slight angst (?), ​husband hyunjae, he's super patient and understanding, hurt/comfort, wedding vows (it's so cute, i love it) » WORD COUNT: ​3743 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~14 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): mentions of pregnancy, insecurities, mentions of a broken family/childhood (reader's side), proofread once

my second timestamp story! thank you for all the love on the first one! (pst! it's sunwoo! 🦝) hopefully, this one lives up to your expectations! (if there are any uwu). sorry for my weird, unscheduled, random posting times > <

shoutout to my mum who (i bet) went through a lot to make sure i would grow up well. thank you for always reminding me that you don't regret having me and loving me with all your being. love you mumma! 💗

navi/masterlist!!

You remembered when you tucked yourself into bed alone after reminding Jaehyun to come to bed soon. He was so close to finishing his work that you didn’t want to force him out of his zone, understanding that he would feel more peaceful if he finished it sooner even if it meant ruining his internal body clock a little bit for it.

Opening your eyes and taking a deep breath in the calming darkness, you smiled at the arm that rested across your now flat stomach. During your whole pregnancy stages, especially when that wicked pregnancy pillow put a physical barrier between you and your loving husband, he would at least reach out and hold your hand (or particularly your stomach bump), a huge downgrade from how his chest would completely be on your back and he hushes you asleep with his soft snores. 

You knew as soon as you turned your head to the right that Jaehyun managed to finish his work, a neutral smile on his face as compared to the slight pout and the subtle crease between his eyebrows as he sometimes grunts in his sleep from the past few days. An affectionate gaze falls upon your eyes when Jaehyun grunts and scoots over to your side of the bed, his unconscious mind telling him to move closer to his wife after he throws the pillow away to the other side of the room in excitement as soon as your new family arrived home three days ago. You chuckle at the way his right hand past the top of your stomach to hook your waist and pull you closer to him. Now half awake, Jaehyun made himself comfortable by burrowing his nose and lips into the crook of your neck and you immediately looked up towards the ceiling to let him do so.

A satisfied hum comes out from the man beside you, “This is nice.” He brushes the warm skin of your neck with his colder nose and his soft lips press multiple kisses from your jawline to your right shoulder.

“Jae.” You chuckle at his playful nature, “Go back to sleep, hm? You have work tomorrow.”

Jaehyun groans at the grim reminder. He’s been at home ever since you came back home, using up some of his leave days to take care of you and your newborn child. He was about to use it all but you stopped him, convincing him that you’re able to take care of yourself and your child, moreover to save those days in case a ‘real’ emergency does occur. Every day and every moment, you look at your husband who you treasure so much and you can’t help but think about how much you love this man with all your heart, mind and soul.

“Don’t remind me of that, bubs.” Finally opening his eyes, he relied on the subtle moonlight that seeped through your curtains and looked at your side view with ‘that’ gaze. 

‘That’ gaze that reminds you every day that you’re worth it for you. ‘That’ gaze that he kept even after ten years of meeting each other. ‘That’ gaze that was plastered on his face when he went down on one knee to propose to you. ‘That’ gaze that was present when he read his wedding vows and wiped the tears on your face when you read yours. ‘That’ gaze (mixed with immense happiness and excitement) when you told him you were pregnant. 

It holds many meanings and you were sure that the list would continue, building from all the blessed experiences so far.

Only chuckling at the way that he pouts cutely at you, you turn your body to face him, creating a small gap between you both as you press a peck on his lips, “Thank you for using your leave days to take care of us.”

“Of course, I would.” Jaehyun shook his head slightly to validate his point, “You both are my whole world. I can’t afford to lose you or baby.” It was the way that your eyes slightly pooled with tears that he replaced the pout and shushing the soft whimpers that left your now shaky lips, “Hey…what’s wrong?”

Your once small cries amplified drastically and Jaehyun’s eyes widened in shock, quickly pulling you into his embrace. He slips his left hand under your neck, bringing your tear-stricken face into his chest as you sob in his arms. Jaehyun comfortingly whispers sweet nothings into your ear, patting your head and pressing occasional kisses on your forehead. You stayed wordless for a while, enjoying the company and how close your entire body could be now after you gave birth.

“Catch your breath. I’ll be right here.” Jaehyun reminds you between your tired gasps for air, “I’ll always be here next to you, waiting for you, loving you more and more with each passing day.”

You couldn’t do anything but just nod, your heart melting at the sincere words, “I’m scared.”

“Of what, bubs?”

“Like,” You started, audibly voicing out the thoughts that have been swarming and eating you alive inside and out, “what happens if I mess up?”

It isn’t the first time that you had this kind of conversation. The very first time was when the adrenaline from your system was drained after announcing that positive pregnancy test to Jaehyun. You voiced out your worries as an upcoming parent, worried that you would accidentally pass down your problems, anxiety and worries to your child. Out of everything you want the most in the world, all you want is for your children to grow up without your traumas and problems affecting them because that’s not the kind of life that they deserve. Of course, that’s unrealistic. Children are indeed a slight depiction of their parents and how they would act around other people outside the family says a lot about how their parents raised them.

You can just imagine a situation where your anxiety takes over, you crouch down to be eye level with your extremely young child, giving them a lecture about what they should or shouldn’t do, extending that talks to both extreme sides of ‘what if’s and how they should just be more careful, less daring and---

“Jae, promise me that you’ll make sure she doesn’t grow up like me.” It was a desperate plea, almost as if you would walk out of their lives in the next second. The anxiety completely took over your body as you clenched Jaehyun’s shirt in your fist as a physical response, looking up at him desperately and Jaehyun’s eyebrows crashed together, “She doesn’t deserve that, Jae. Those silent cries, hating everyone around me, feeling like no one loved me and wanting to just end---”

“Don’t.” It was stern yet it still held a lot of patience and love. Jaehyun smiles sadly at the words that he has heard multiple times but even so, he would never stop reminding you of all the things he loves about you. He would never stop hugging you, holding your body and pulling you towards him, giving you all his love and company, “Don’t say that about yourself when you’re the reason why I wake up happy every day, bubs.”

“But Jae---”

“You know,” He whispers into the silent yet wavering night. Jaehyun takes a deep inhale of the air, tilting his head to rest his chin on the top of your head, “I was so scared of losing you as time went on.”

You calmed down, shutting your eyes as you focused on his heartbeat to pull you back to the present time. Jaehyun just smiles at the slightly open door of your room and he reminds himself of his newborn child on the other side of their bedroom door. When you hummed confusingly at his words, your husband just nodded, “Why were you scared?”

“Well,” If it wasn’t for the fact that your face was hidden into his collarbone, you would be able to see the blushing mess that Jaehyun was. A deep red blush was on his face, spreading to his ears; but you did feel the warmth on his neck as you kissed his skin delicately and it made Jaehyun more of a mess, “of course if it didn’t work out and you didn’t feel the same way, it would become awkward and even though we were such close friends, I knew that if I was rejected, I wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with you anymore. I really could’ve lost you.”

You never really knew this about Jaehyun. Whenever you asked about the day that he confessed to you to be his girlfriend, he only talked about his plans and how your mutual friends all pushed him to confess to you. You also told him about how the same mutual friends pushed you to confess back to him, yet you were a coward that you became used to telling yourself that if you ever ended up with Jaehyun, it would only hinder him in life; because who would love a broken girl when they could love a perfect one instead?

And so when he confessed, asked for a chance and promised to love you dearly after two years of mutual pining, you didn’t realise that time flew by so quickly that on the sixth year when Jaehyun kneeled and asked for your hand in marriage two years ago, a sudden hit of ‘reality’ (or so you called it) crashed into you. 

You really did find love when you thought for the longest, most tiring and hardest times when you didn’t think anyone would love you as you are. Seriously, how could anyone love you when you were still so stuck between believing and convincing yourself that you are enough? 

“I knew I had to take a chance,” Jaehyun continues his thoughts, “because when I closed my eyes and realised that if I didn’t at least try to make you mine, you might just completely slip from my life. Selfishly as well, I didn’t want to see you smiling in another person’s arms and kissing that person every time you wake up and go to sleep.”

The thought of you two doing just that ever since you moved in together five years ago suddenly made you blush and you couldn’t help but let out a string of complaints. Jaehyun just laughs (and quietly lets out a sigh of relief) when you finally release his shirt, wrapping your small hands around his bigger build instead, “I’m sorry that I didn’t realise that you went through all that.”

“No, it’s alright.” He reassures you again for the nth time in the last hour, “I have you now. You are all I ever wanted.” Pulling away and reaching to cup your wet cheeks, his thumbs swipe your almost dry cheek, offering you that familiar warmth that only he could give, “It’s all worth it in the end.”

“Really?” Another tear managed to slip out of your eyes and you couldn’t help but stare at him apprehensively as the devil inside your mind managed to manipulate your thinking, “I’m such a high-maintenance person, Jae…I really wouldn’t blame you if you wake up one day and decide to just…” He shakes his head throughout your small speech, knowing the similar words that you would say to him once in a while, “leave…” It came out quieter than you thought, maybe because he already knew anyway, hence saying it again and again, the red-horned creature in your mind rejoices as your childhood traumas reminded you of how worthless you are to the world.

Usually at this time, Jaehyun would rebut your words immediately but the silence had your heart dropping and for a while, you thought that you had taken the words out of his mouth. Jaehyun kept his tired stare and suddenly you were aware of your dry mouth as you waited for any sort of words from your husband. He removes the hand that was on your cheek, reaching behind to grab his device from the bedside table, “Hold on, okay?”

For a second, you really thought this was it for the both of you. During these moments of much-needed comfort, Jaehyun has always given you his undivided attention but now as the blue light reflects on his squinting eyes, you couldn’t help but let the tears flow down your eyes once again. Did he finally give up on me? Were the only thoughts that swarmed your mind as you watched how his thumb scrolled and colours reflected on the smooth surface of his dewy skin, “Jae?” Time made you desperate for a response and you were about to clench on his shirt again when he let out a small ‘aha’ and played the video on his phone.

You recognised the scene on his phone immediately without looking. The familiar scene, cheers, whooping and excitement radiating off the background noises had you sobbing again. Jaehyun sets the volume, puts his phone back on the bedside table and gives you his attention again, “My mum was sorting videos on her phone when she came across this and sent it to me.” He presses a comforting kiss on your lips and calms your shaking body, “I’m sure you remember this right?”

You just nod and Jaehyun pulls your face into his chest once again, letting the sound from the video consume you both into your worlds.

“As soon as you stepped into those classroom doors, all eyes were on you and undoubtedly mine too.” You were already starting to tear up just from the first few sentences, “Ah…I only just started…” You scanned your next words, just sniffling from the longer sentences that you didn't know how to not cry to while the audience let out words of encouragement and small laughs. 

Your soon-to-be husband steps towards you, kissing the side of your head, “Should I go first?”

“Do you mind?” You laugh, feeling embarrassed. 

“Not at all.” Jaehyun takes out his paper from his suit, taking the microphone from you, “I already knew this would happen guys.” He announced to the audience and you rolled your eyes jokingly, “Ok…I’ll start.”

You knew very well that your eye makeup was most probably ruined and you looked some sort of a mess at the moment so you couldn’t help but stare down at the floor. Jaehyun gives you a quick kiss on the crown of your head, swooning the audience with his romantic gesture making him chuckle before clearing his throat and starting his vows.

“I remember the day I walked into that classroom on my first day of school. No doubt, I didn’t want to be there. Not just at that school or at that classroom: I just didn’t want to be in Seoul. The sudden move because of my dad’s work made me leave all the memories I had in Incheon in a month and as an innocent young child who was already happy with everything, I didn’t want to leave.

Alas, even my mother told me we had to go and that’s when I knew that moving was inevitable. School work was already hard as it was and I had to move to a big city where I knew no one, having to start all over again from the ‘Hi. My name is Lee Jaehyun. I hope we’ll get along well.’ really made me reach the peak of my mood swings during puberty.”

Jaehyun alternates his eye contact between you and the audience who reacts to the groom with happiness, and laughter as some of his closest friends give him encouraging, funny body language. He points them out and the said friends complain whilst the audience just laughs at the group of boys on the side of the stage. However, it was how you finally raised your head and laughed along that made Jaehyun join in as well.

“For the first few weeks, I didn’t make an obvious effort to fit in. As you know, I joined clubs and did after-school activities. Studying was still my priority at this point but even that became so mundane and boring that I crashed and burnt out after a while. But maybe, the burnout was just what I needed because that was how I first met you. Had I not cried in the corner of the library in the ironically ‘health and wellbeing’ section, would you have even spoken to me? Would you have crouched down and tapped on my shoulder to ask if I was okay? Would you have sat down next to me silently as you read your book, waiting for me to answer your question?

The answer is: yes. Or at least I would like to believe so.

Why? Because no one will fully ever understand how much I love you. Maybe if it wasn’t that day in the library, I would’ve met you later. How much later, nobody knows and nobody will ever know because I’m about to marry that girl who made my day so much better in the library. But what I do know is that no matter when, where, why or how we would’ve met, I would have still fallen in love with your smile, your pout, your laugh, and the way you cutely complain about how I mess up your bubble tea order,” Jaehyun gives you a cheeky smile and you just scoff with a smile on your face, “the way you would cry in my arms when you had a bad day, the way you would drop everything when I have a bad day, the way you would try your best to stay awake until I’m done with my other priorities. 

But bubs, I hope you’ll always know that you’ll forever be my first, most top priority.

Even as we fight, cry and shout at each other words that we don’t mean, I hope you’ll always be able to go to sleep thinking that I’ll still love you. I’ll still be right by your side when your insecurities come by and pass. I’ll always remind you that you’ll always be enough no matter what you do. Your best will always be enough and I hope I’ll always be that person who can be your safe, happy place.”

No doubt now that you’re sobbing and when you look at your parents sitting down not far from the stage, your heart does clench a bit as you’re reminded of your childhood. Seeing them cry over Jaehyun’s words does seem a little bit strange to you as they never really minded your words whenever you were struggling with life. But then you remind yourself of what Jaehyun said to you a few seconds ago.

“I know for sure that you’ll always be enough for me.” Jaehyun continues, taking your mind off your parents as he looks at you understandingly, “I love you and I know I’ll continue to love you until the day I take my last breath. I’ll take care of you even when you’re not sick or feeling well, cherish all of you and be there for you even after death because I love you so much, sweetheart.”

The recording ended there and Jaehyun relished in the way that your body stopped shaking, your arms around his waist securely and your breathing back to normal. He knows instantly that you feel better just from those small actions. He also didn’t miss the smile that grew on your face even though you were literally cuddled up against his body, “So,” the deep whisper from your husband only made you push your face even further up his body, now burying your face into his collarbone, “I just want to tell you that she will grow up beautifully just like her mother. Also, we’ll get through this together. Parenting isn’t supposed to be a one-person job after all.”

Nodding and burrowing yourself into the crook of his neck, you appreciate the way his words reminded the devil in the back of your head as it stomps off in defeat. The words supported the angel that finally won and it replaced the red creature, kicking the red light away to replace your body with a calming, soothing feeling that soon takes over your whole body, “I love you, Jae.”

“I love you too.” The warmth of the night overpowered the chilly night and the two of you held each other so lovingly that the weight of your eyelids eventually became too heavy for you to hold. Jaehyun waits patiently until sleep fully takes over you, fighting his yawn from escaping his mouth. Quietly, he just continued to stroke your exposed waist delicately, kissing your lips one last time before reminding you once more, “Always.”

It’s all very fortunate that your mind is now at ease and that you both were able to sleep after. But parenting duties call about half an hour later when cries are heard from the other side of the house and both your eyes open instantly. You were the first one to untangle your body from Jaehyun and you looked over to your husband who was still stirring himself awake again for the second time of the night as you both sat up on the bed, “I’m sorry.” You kiss him on the lips, cradling the back of his head and pushing his chest back down on the bed, “I’ll get her. Get back to sleep, Jae.”

“No no, I’ll go.” You disapprovingly groan at your husband who managed to push his sleepiness aside and sit up once again, his head hanging down in exhaustion, “Wha---bubs.” Instantly, you pushed him back down on the bed, pulling the blanket over up until his chin.

You adamantly tell your husband to try and go back to sleep. Jaehyun fakes his nod and closes his eyes, an idea popping up in his head as he plots to joke around with his wife. When you swing your legs over to the side of the bed, ready to stand up once more, Jaehyun quickly hugs you from behind, pressing a kiss on the back of your ear where you’re the most ticklish and sensitive. 

You froze at his actions and even though his sleepy voice was still evident, you could also hear all the love that he could offer you in this world with his playful tone, “Race you there, bubs.”

Jaehyun called in sick the next day.

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️