Lee Jaehyun - Tumblr Posts

welcome deobis

lee sangyeon

bae jacob

kim younghoon

lee hyunjae

my last love oneshot, dad!au, fluff [ dating lee jaehyun was the best thing that ever happened to the both of you but when things don't work it, everything falls apart. what happens when years later, he shows up in your life again successful with his career, which is the main reason to your breakup, but still in love with you? ]

lee juyeon

moon kevin

choi chanhee

ji changmin

ju haknyeon

kim sunwoo

sohn eric

my last love

💌 pairing: lee hyunjae x reader 💌 genre: oneshot, dad!au, fluff 💌 word count: 10.3k 💌 author's note: hyunjae being a dad just reminds me of the little kid from the d.d.d. dance thing because of how he cried after since he won’t be able to see jaehyun anymore. i found that so adorable and i searched him up a while ago on insta. he’s already so grown up. he looks like a young actor. anyway... i hope you enjoy my first oneshot! also name's gonna be hyunjae because i feel like we're more used to his stage name.

[ dating lee hyunjae was the best thing that ever happened to the both of you but when things don't work it, everything falls apart. what happens when years later, he shows up in your life again successful with his career, which is the main reason to your breakup, but still in love with you? ]

it's funny how the world works. god gives you the thing you've wished for most and then reminds you that he has full control of your life by taking it away for a split second. what hurts is that a second to god, seems like years to humans.

if anybody asks you what memory remains as the best time of your life, you'd answer your first love. lee hyunjae wasn't some boy you could start hating just because he broke up with you. lee hyunjae was your high school sweetheart. he held good standards at school, at home, and always did the best for you. so no, he wasn't some guy you hated after just a breakup. you hated him because he left you with the best gift in your life but never stayed to be a part of it. it was the summer before graduation. the both of you were supposed to go on a date because you had something to tell him. a surprise, one would say. but little did you know, he had something to share too. polar opposites, in fact. one could change your life for the better and the other would ruin it.

the first day of summer vacation. you could never forget that date. a picnic made for just the two of you as you sat down on the soft fabric and pulled out cute bento boxes you spent the night before making. you never saw it coming. not with the smile he had on his face when he was with you. not with all the flirty gestures he threw at you from habit. not with the way he stared at you as if you were the only thing he cared to see in the world.

he dumped you. at least that's the only way you saw it back then. he had a dream. a dream that was more important than whatever the two of you shared, which clearly did not mean much to him. at the time, you held grudges; why would he tell you that he loved you if he was going to break up with you? why did he kiss your cheek when he wanted to? why the hell did he plan the date?

it's been years now and that mentality of yours grew, allowing you to see this all in another light. you were young. you were naive. he was young. he was naive. and to be quite honest, both of you deserved to pursue your dreams and if that meant having to be with the right person at the wrong time, then so be it.

hold on. forgetting one important thing here, aren't we? what was your surprise that day? you had gone to your annual check up to the doctors. and they surprised you with a congratulations. you were pregnant. like any other young girl, you were terrified and you expected him to be the one to support you most.

either way, your parents and friends helped you out a lot.

you didn't mean to still be so in love but when you heard you were having a boy, the first name that popped in your head was seojun. back when hyunjae and you were joking around how cute kids were and if there were any in both your near future, you'd want to name him seojun. you ended up never thinking of a girl name because you got distracted with him dropping ice cream on his shirt. he was cute in that way.

hyunjae, on the other hand, came back from his abroad sessions and became successful. he took big responsibility within his company, something you wished he had done for you years back. the first year after the breakup was the hardest as he couldn't ever get you out of his head. although, at one point, he just got too busy to think about you. it was bound to happen. if his career meant as much as breaking up with you, he wanted to make the best out of it.

he knew nothing about you and you knew nothing of him. he was oblivious to the fact that he had a kid of his own in this world.

seojun was a handful, which was expected. he was a little boy, after all. so any type of romance was pretty much limited to little to none for you. you hear from a lot of people how it would be healthier for seojun to grow up with a father figure by his side but it was hard to do that when not anyone could make your heart flutter. a year after your breakup, you met younghoon. he was someone who never questioned anything in your life which is why it was easier to open up to him first. he's been there with you since day one of your motherhood.

today was one of those days off to hang out with your friends. you usually let yourself have a day in a month nowadays. the first two years with seojun, you never took a break with your job and taking care of him but after seeing you so overworked, your parents adjusted their work schedule and decided to let you have few days off while they took care of seojun. kevin was supposed to come first because he had something to buy and wanted to buy it before all of you plan to go somewhere else. then, the two other boys would join the both of you.

after hyunjae moved to the states, you met all your friends at an art gallery through a tour. you were in pain from all the walking and younghoon noticed, stopping his friends to come talk to you. you sat there for so long that eventually all of you lost the tour guide. you felt so bad so you offered them a drink at a nearby cafe, in which they accepted.

"y/n!" you hear the familiar voice and turn around to see a figure behind your glass plated door. you chuckled to see kevin knowing at the door frantically.

"i'm coming!!," you ran over to the door, leaving behind the tea you were making. as soon as the door opened, kevin made himself comfortable. "hello to you too." you chuckle at him sitting down on the couch.

"you're not even dressed?" kevin's sarcastic words made you scoff. "thanks. i had to take seojun to my parents' house." he chuckled at your retorted voice before helping you clean the kitchen. a few minutes later, you went to go get proper clothes to go outside before heading out to the car with kevin. he helped you coordinate your outfit. and the fact that you were a fashion designer too? yeah, kevin didn't care. he'd help you in any way he could. he was very much appreciated.

"i think it looks cute.." he mumbles, complimenting his own work. afterwards, you both get into your car, driving off to the mall which was the meeting place you all set. once you arrive, you see younghoon sitting on the bench by olive young (sephora basically).

"hey y/n!" you wave your hand as he gives you a hug. "can you take y/n to the baby store again? i gotta go pee." kevin cuts in between. younghoon chuckles with a nod before kevin goes running off to the bathrooms.

as soon as you enter the store, you received a few concerning looks which you've grown to get used to. it happened a lot in korea since it wasn't very common to give birth so early. when younghoon sees you grabbing at your sleeve, he takes off his jacket. he's known you long enough to know that when you did that, you weren't cold. you were trying to cover yourself no matter the little amount of skin you were showing. he placed the jacket around you, causing you to look up at him. "you okay?" you nod your head, grabbing a few bibs and new bottles. you wanted to get out of there as soon as possible so you quickly rushed to the cashier. everyone besides you knew you spoiled seojun because you were trying make up for the missing father.

once younghoon noticed how you were trying to rush out of there without explaining anything, he held your hand. "y/n.. i know you're not okay. may i remind you i've been there for you when you gave birth and then you came to me crying because you forgot you still had periods after giving birth? now going down the aisle to buy those tampons.. that was embarrassing." you chuckle at his attempt to cheer you up, which it did, and quickly paid for your stuff before following him out the store.

"i'm okay, hoon. and thank you for that day, although you did text me if the sizes meant how much i weighed."

"hey! in my defense, how was i supposed to know?" you both chuckled at the memory before seeing kevin and chanhee talking to one another by the bench from before.

"y/n! how's seojun?" you smiled at the child lover in front of you. "good to see you too.. seojun's doing great. he's really picking up a lot of words. not to brag or anything, but i think my kid's a genius." they all chuckled at your motherly pride coming out.

"okay so about today's plans. i was thinking the festival. it's open for a few more weeks but it's been a few days now so it shouldn't be too crowded." chanhee offers, being the group's social one. but before you could answer, you felt your phone ring. you excuse yourself to pick up the call only to have your mom telling you that seojun wouldn't stop crying and wanted to see you. you end the phone, walking back, only to tell them mother business calls. they all understood but felt too bad to discuss today's plans in front of you.

"hey i'll be fine. maybe i can make it later but we'll probably be in different places by then. i heard jacob and sangyeon's coming too, right?" younghoon nodded his head before looking at you with a worried face. "i promise i'll be fine. go have fun. just someone take kevin cause i was his ride here."

"can't stop a mother from wanting to be with her son. have fun." you smiled at kevin's words and nodded.

chanhee ushered all of you to move along out to the parking lot. you separated with them and drove over to your parents' house. knocking on the door, you smiled as you had the toy you bought for seojun.

"mommy!" you hear as soon as the door opens. "hi baby! how was hanging out with grandpa and grandma?" you said, eyes shimmering in joy.

"grandpa and i were watching tv and he had his mom with him but i didn't. so i cried.." you chuckled at his dried tear stain on his cheeks. "well mommy's here now so everything's better, right?," he nodded his head, wrapping his arms around your neck. "you're such a big boy, hmm? you stopped crying all by yourself? good job.." you complimented him as he nodded before whispering "and grandma gave me cookies.." you looked up at your mom, who was brave enough to give a three year old cookies.

"really, mom?"

"what? he seemed hungry."

"and you chose cookies out of all things?"

"okay. well, at least, i brushed his teeth after." she said, making you smile at her. you picked up seojun in your arms and kissed his cheek. "i'm taking him to the festival today."

"i'm sorry. you were on break today.." your mom apologizes but what kind of mistake is getting to hang out with your little man instead. you tickled seojun, which caused him to let out a very familiar laugh. he's got hyunjae's laugh. that awkward, cute laugh. you didn't hate it though. it felt nice to see hyunjae in him sometimes. it hurt from time to time but you felt happy that you had a mini version of him in your life.

there were certain nights you thought of how things could have been different. if hyunjae hadn't been nice enough to let you go instead of making you wait the years he studied abroad. if you had delivered the news before he did his. if hyunjae and you had just figured things out. seojun reminded you of all the nostalgic memories the two of you shared. it really wasn't fair. how amazing it felt when he was born but how painful it felt without hyunjae.

lots of people say everyone remembers and should remember three loves in your love. your first love that gives you puppy like flutters doesn't last. your second love that brings pain in different types of forms yet feels most committed and passionate. your last love that'll seem like it lasts forever and does. but in your case, where did hyunjae even fit? first love? of course. the one that brings pain? yeah.. and did it feel like your last love, one that you wanted to never end? honestly, yes.

once you reached the festival, you made sure you had some snacks and juice for seojun in your bag. as soon as you entered, seojun's eyes spots the bounce house. luckily, there was one with a smaller kid capacity so there was a lower chance of him getting hurt. you got him a turn before getting a call from younghoon. you answered, not breaking your attention on seojun. he'd asked if you made it to the festival and you told him that you had with seojun. you loved seeing that he could have fun by himself so much that you didn't hear younghoon talking about some other friends with him. "hello? earth to y/n?" you chuckle as he tells you where he is. "i'll be there in a few minutes." "no. wait. did you hear what i sai-" you end the call because you saw seojun climbing out of the bounce house.

"was it fun?," you ask, seeing him smile. "good.. how about seeing younghoon?" you offered. seojun had taken a liking on younghoon since he was one of the few men around in his life. he nods his head so you pick him up and walk towards wherever younghoon instructed to go. when you came across a corn dog station, seojun tugged at you. "can i get one of those?" you sighed, knowing he could at least eat the sausage but you didn't want him to love it or else that's all he'll want. but it was a festival. what the heck? why not? you walked over to the station and asked for just sausage in a plate. it didn't take long, fortunately, so you walked with seojun still in your arms, trying to pick at it to be bite-sized.

"yo y/n!" you hear kevin's voice so you turn around to see a few guys. you walk over and place seojun onto the ground, staring down at him as he held your hand. as soon as arrive, you give seojun the sausage. "okay don't eat and walk at the same time, remember. make sure you chew each bite instead of shoving them all.. got it?" he nods his head before taking the plate with your ripped piece. when you look up, your eyes connect with someone who you haven't seen in years.

"oh my god." you blurt out. "what? are you okay?" younghoon says, worried. he walks over, taking off his jacket and covers you. "no.. it's not that," you awkwardly laugh before looking up at the person in front of you. "so umm.. who are these guys?"

"oh. so that's changmin. chanhee knows him so he got his friends to come over. you already know sangyeon and jacob. then that's ju haknyeon, lee juyeon, kim sunwoo, sohn eric, and lee hyunjae." you smile at each one of them as they gave you a small wave until you spotted the boy directly the one closest to you again.

"anyway. they just called our number. we're up next for the maze. you wanna come with us, y/n?" you shook your head as sangyeon asks. you don't know exactly how they got jacob to go but you chuckled when he held hands with chanhee, only to get a smack on his shoulder.

"i wanna go try this one but hyunjae here, ate something weird before so he wanted to sit this one out. he'll watch over you, okay?" you could do nothing but nod as your best friend disappears into the line. you look to the side to see seojun still eating his food. you take his hand and lead him to sit on the little wall hyunjae was sitting on.

"y/n?," your shoulders tensed at the voice. "c-can we talk?"

"i think you're talking right now." you didn't mean to be so spiteful but this was just so sudden. all those days lying in bed, imagining all the scenarios of bumping into him one day, gone to waste. you were so speechless, only mean remarks came to mind.

"it's been a while.. hasn't it?" you couldn't help but let out a sarcastic laugh. "mhmm.." you grabbed a juice from your bag, handing it to seojun. the silence was suffocating you until one of the people in the toy station came walking. "here.. for the little boy." he says, handing a cool toy to seojun. you smile at his eyes glistening but glancing over to you for permission. you softly nod. "say thank you, seojun." you say as seojun stands up and bows. "what a polite child. seems like you guys are doing a good job." you chuckled awkwardly to see hyunjae frozen in his spot. he didn't mean to bombard you with questions but he had too many thoughts running through his mind right now.

you never would have thought, out of all places, you would meet again at a time and place like this. you watch as he observes seojun.

"is he.. yours?", hyunjae spoke, looking over to seojun, who wasn't even paying attention to you. seeing him peacefully playing with the toy, you look back towards hyunjae. you nodded your head, causing hyunjae to exhale a soft sigh. "are you married now?"

"no." how could you be?

"so." you both say in unison, causing you to blush.

"oh.. you go."

"no.. ladies first."

"what a gentleman..," you said, trying not to sound so snarky. "i guess.. how's everything? your life? your... career?" you were curious and who could blame you? after leaving your heart broken with no other reason than 'i just don't want to make you wait', you couldn't help but question everything you did.

"well, i opened up a company. i got back a year ago and settled in seoul," you nodded your head, trying to ignore the awkwardness. "how about you?"

"i started fashi-"

"mommy.. i'm cold." you looked over to hyunjae before sighing.

"sorry.. hold on," you grabbed his jacket and helped him put it on. "are you warmer now?" seojun takes your hand in his and flashes you a smile. "thank you, mommy."

"he's mine....", hyunjae stopped himself for a second, seeing seojun laughing. "isn't he?," he questioned. you didn't know whether he calculated the estimated age to when you two were dating or he just saw certain features of himself in seojun, but you knew he was well capable of both. you ran your hands through seojun's hair and sighed, slowly nodding your head. "and you didn't tell me this because?"

"we broke up the day i was going to tell you." hyunjae was more than guilty from your words, biting his lip.

"i'm sorry, y/n. i never meant for this to happen. i swear if i knew.. i would have been there for you. why didn't you text me? i didn't block you or anything. in fact, i assumed you would have at least call me and cuss me out or something. but after that night, you didn't call or text me. i didn't know what to do. i just-"

"hyunjae," he looked at your soft smile. "i'm okay.. no. i don't have a boyfriend. and no. i haven't been dating. but i'm happy.. i'm more than happy just to raise my son. or.. i guess. our son." you stopped your words as you see seojun walk over to hyunjae.

"daddy?" you had no idea how to respond to that. you didn't want to lie but you also couldn't tell him yes. you didn't even know hyunjae's lifestyle and how busy he would be.

"yes. i am your daddy. i'm sorry i missed your first few years of life.. you've grown up well," hyunjae says, bending down to seojun's height. "you said your name was seojun.. right?"

"yeah.. seojun." hyunjae looks up at you with a teasing smile as you scoffed at his behavior. "i had to. it was a cute name. and it stuck to me," you were surprised he still remembered. you see the other guys laughing and on their way back. "hyunjae.. can you talk any other day?" he nodded his head but before you could say anything else, younghoon's picking up seojun.

"what's up, little man?" he says as seojun giggles. you didn't miss the look on hyunjae's face as his eyebrows furrowed.

"how was the maze?," you asked as the boys all talk over themselves about how fun it was. "well i got absolutely nothing from that.. but i'm glad you had fun." they chuckled as they started to take small turns introducing themselves to seojun. you were worried he might not be able to remember so many names but it was worth a try.

"hey, how about we trade phone numbers?" eric offers. "all of us? that's too many. why don't we just have chanhee do it? he knows all of us here anyway. right, bestie?" changmin says, annoying chanhee with his sweet voice. "mhmm.. sure. why not?," he says rolling his eyes but ends up pulling out his phone anyway. all of our phones let out notification sounds. "you're welcome."

you feel seojun tug at your jeans. "i'm sleepy.."

"do you need a ride?" younghoon offers. "no, i drove here. does anyone else need a ride back though? he's probably going to sleep in the car anyway so i can drive a few of you around since i smell alcohol." you said emphasizing the word while looking at sangyeon.

"changmin and i are sober. so who are we gonna split with? if we don't fit all of us then, we'll have y/n take the others." jacob says as you nod your head, waiting for all of them to decide. you picked up seojun and patted his back, hoping he falls asleep. "okay we can't fit two people."

"i can take hoon and someone else home."

"what about hyunjae? he lives near us." younghoon says as you eye hyunjae. it was funny how much you trusted younghoon but never got to tell him exactly who seojun's father was.

"sure. why not? i'll take these two back then. goodnight, everyone." you say cheerfully but in a whisper as seojun has managed to fall asleep.

the drive back home wasn't as awkward as you'd expected since seojun sleeping made an excuse for the silence. younghoon looked after seojun in the back as hyunjae sat next to you in the passenger seat. "drop me off first cause i'm closer." you nod as you stop in front of younghoon's house. he walks over to your side and gives you a small kiss on the forehead. "goodnight, y/n.." you watch him enter his house before driving off again.

"so where do you live?" hyunjae gives you a number only to realize he was only two blocks away. all of you lived in the same community and you never noticed?

"you can come over at 6 during the evening tomorrow if that's a good time for you and we can talk," you watch as hyunjae looks at the back seat of your car. "i'm sorry.. for everything." you chuckle with a nod.

"i'll see you next time, hyunjae.."

——————————

when seojun woke up the next day, you heard him crying. you assumed it would be one of his morning bawls but once you see him sitting up in his bed, using his blanket as a tissue, you ran to him. "hey baby.. what's wrong?," you waited until he calmed down and placed him on your lap. "hmm?"

"why did daddy leave? why is he back now?" you choked from his question. never.. not even once had seojun ever asked you about his father. he just always grew up without knowing much of the meaning of a father. but, you had a father and so did many of seojun's fellow classmates. it was inevitable for him to eventually learn the word.

"baby.. h-he was very busy... with work. but he loves you.. very much. and i know he would have wanted to spend a lot of time with you," you sighed, watching as he pulled at your clothes. "how about this? you can hang out with him next time." seojun nods his head frantically at your idea and smiles with cute dimples above his lips, his left side, a little deeper. even that was from hyunjae's genes.

you hear the bell ring as soon as seojun is dressed. your mother is at the door and you let her enter with seojun in your arm.

"hey. how was the festival?", your mom asks you but as soon as she sees your blanked out face, she knew something is wrong. "sweetie.. can you take seojun upstairs?" you see your father parking his car in the garage and heads upstairs with seojun in his arms.

"i saw him.."

"who?"

"hyunjae." your mother gasps, gathering her hands in front of her mouth, shocked. you nodded, still trying to believe it yourself.

"well how was he? are you okay?" she walked you to the couch, where you both sat down.

"he was in good condition. he looked happier and brighter," you looked down at your hands, remembering the way he smiled when he heard seojun's name. "and he knows seojun is his." your mother calmly pats your back as she observes your expression. as a mother herself, she knew how her own daughter would feel. but to her surprise, you didn't seem hurt. you seemed rather relieved.

"what did you say?"

"he told me to meet him at 6 tonight to talk things out. i don't know what's going to happen but we'll see," your mother was more in shock than you were and that made you giggle. "i'm alright, mom." your reassurance made your mother nod and smile.

"you're gonna be just fine. i trust that you will do what's best for seojun and for you. but whatever happens, you know i'm always here for you." you nodded your head at her words and hugged her. "thanks mom.." you let out, a small tear rising up. "anything for you."

later on, that evening, you dressed up to go over like hyunjae had asked you to. you decided to just walk there since it wasn't too far. you were surprised when you got out of the car. the buildings were humongous and they were luxurious as well. you didn't really get to look around yesterday since you were a little out of it.

the door was opened by someone else when you knocked. "chanhee?," you were greeted by other people around hyunjae. "um hello? am i interrupting something?"

"guys. this is the y/n."

"hyunjae. they already know me. i uh- thought we'd be. alone?"

"look y/n. i'm sorry. they came barging in and..," you looked over at the six boys and back to hyunjae. "they know.."

"know what?" all of them look over to you with pitiful eyes and you knew what he was talking about. hyunjae walks over to you and holds your hand. "they already knew the whole thing. just not that it was with you."

"is that why you introduced me as "the y/n"?," he nodded his head before all of them walked over to the other room. "so.."

"there's a room to your right. it's the living room cause i didn't know if you'd be comfortable in a uh... in a bedroom." you nodded your head as you followed him. you didn't have time or the focus to pay attention yesterday but he got taller. and more toned. settling down, he offers you a drink from the counter so you smile, nodding your head before you both sit down across from each other. it was quite obvious to you how hyunjae was nervous. you were too but you were just better at hiding it.

"hyunjae. i'm okay. if you're worried about that. if you want, i can start and-"

"no. i have some things that i've prepared to say. things that i've been meaning to say to you before you changed your number and uh.. i'm afraid i'll miss my chance if i don't say it now." you nodded your head, completely understanding him. from the looks of that, he hasn't changed much and you felt happy about it. maybe it really was because you matured but now, you don't have this tingly feeling anymore like you did back in high school. back then, everything he did made you flutter.

"alright.."

"i want to apologize for that day. i think it's okay for me to say this now and i don't know if it'll change anything as of right now. but that day.. i didn't break up with you because i fell out of love with you. i did it because i knew how long it'd take to study abroad. we were gonna have different time zones and once they give me a higher position, i wouldn't be able to visit korea every now and then. i know this seems like an excuse but i swear. i didn't mean to hurt you. i had at least hoped you would stay in contact with me, whether to tell me i was a jerk or to say that you still loved me and you were hurt or maybe even about you moving on. i know it was selfish to think i could have both. i'm sorry about that... but i'm glad we somehow managed to see each other again cause i've been thinking about you. especially these days. i know it may seem like i left and forgot about you. trust me. i wanted to tell myself that you'd be happier and better off without me but it only made myself regret the way i handled things even more. by the time i decided to check up on you, i had no way to contact you. i just want you to know that i did try to fix things. i know it's sudden and you might have already moved on but.. i still love you. is there any way i could be a part of your life again? whether or not we date, that's something different. but.." you took in all of his emotion filled statements and smiled, the more he explained things. you felt relieved for his comforting reasons for everything and looked up at him once he finished.

"hyunjae.. i want you to know that i never resented you after you left. yeah, i locked myself in my room for a day. but I had seojun so i did the best for the both of us to raise him in my womb. i know you.. enough to know that you probably blamed yourself for everything. and me moving and changing phone numbers wasn't because of you. i changed companies so i had to change my address and number. and hyunjae.. i never wanted you to think that any of this was your fault. i'm happy right now and you're right. i don't know if we can get back together but seojun seemed to like you. if you really mean it, we can hang out a few times. for seojun, of course. we'll see where it goes from there but i can't guarantee you that we'll be the way we used to be." you did your best to describe things in the nicest way possible. even though you still had feelings for him, it just wasn't the same anymore.

"yeah. for sure. we can schedule something. i'll make some time. whenever you want.. i just want to make it up to you. i'm happy with the way i am now, with the guys. but i don't know if it was worth leaving you." you both sigh at the same time, causing you to laugh.

"i'm happy that you're happy. but we'll take it slow. i think that's better for all of us. i'm only doing this for seojun right now so just don't have high hopes."

"i understand.."

——————————

as soon as you reached your house, you started thinking about how everything went and realized you barely took the time to greet the other boys. you hated that you didn't notice how rude you came off as. but when you see seojun, you see the face of your ex-lover, the father of your child. after everything that you have gone through, you'd be more than happy to include him back in your- seojun's life, it still was a lot to take in.

"so.. did everything go okay?" you heard your mother by the kitchen waiting with two glasses of wine. you walked over with a smile as she slowly slid one to you. "where's dad?" she glares at you for not seeing the effort she put in to comfort you and offers the drink with a push. "your father can handle seojun for tonight. i think we can fill him in later." you sigh as you start to explain what went down the past hour at hyunjae's house.

once you were finished, your mom blinks, a little startled. "well i'm glad you were able to talk things out." you nodded your head because she was right.

"well that was fast. i got him right to sleep this time.", you hear your dad walking down the stairs with a satisfied grin on his face. "hey kiddo.. how'd it go?"

"for the first time in four years, i just had the most honest conversation. he knows about seojun and wants to be a part of his life." you carefully watched your dad's reaction as he could be harder to grasp the situation than your mom since he was more sensitive to whoever hurts you.

"i'm glad he's taking responsibility to be a part of seojun's life. but are you sure you want him back in your life? whether you like it or not, he's going to just barge back in. there's no other choice. he has half the right for seojun." you hated that he was right. you were unsure with all this. "i think i can let you figure that out on your own. i'm sure you're just as confused.. we'll be here for you. we love seojun with all our hearts and i trust that you'll make the right decision for yourself. either way, whatever you choose, we'll support you all the way." you broke into a smile at your father's comforting words, a little similar to your mother's. but what mattered was they both loved you and have supported you all throughout this bump in the road.

"aw, dad.."

"just looking out for you, buddy.." he pulls you into a hug before you look over to your mom. "go check seojun. we let him take your room so just sleep there with him." you walk up the stairs, to the room. opening the door, you see your son quietly and peacefully sleeping. you were lucky to have a kid like him. maybe it was best for seojun to formally meet his father. the only thing that worried you was hyunjae not being able to be there constantly when he was needed. he didn't have the best record for staying.

——————————

spending your sunday at a water park with seojun seemed like the best way to end your vacation. you made sure to pack everything you needed. but before you could call for seojun, your phone rings.

"i heard you saw him yesterday. why didn't you tell me it was hyunjae?" you could hear a worried, kind of panicking voice. "well.. i didn't know you knew him. it's not like i can bring it up in a conversation. oh hey, by the way the secret baby daddy's name is hyunjae. thought you'd want to know."

"well there's no need to be sarcastic.." you chuckled at his pouty voice. "how did you even know? wait.. let me guess. my mom?", the silence on the other end was loud enough. "good to know my own mother can't keep her mouth shut." younghoon's chuckle fills the speaker before a sigh. "why don't you try asking him to hang out with seojun today?"

"i'm going to the water park today." you swear you heard a squeal of a high school girl. "even better! don't call me today and make sure you stay safe but most of all, have fun!" you look for hyunjae's contact name and come across his nickname "jae". you heard the call ring two times before it's picked up. "hello?" you cleared your throat. "um hey.. it's y/n. are you busy today?"

"no. why? is something up?" your throat had gone dry. "i was just wondering if you'd like to hang out.. with seojun. if you really meant spending time with him." some rustling noises were heard on the other end before pants. "i'll be ready in ten minutes." you chuckle at his response. "okay.. i'll see you soon then." after the call ended, you headed up the stairs to see seojun dressed.

"seojun.. how would you like to see your daddy today, hmm?", almost immediately, seojun nods his head, which was a relief on your end. "alright.. good. i think you'll see him soon."

"he's here!" seojun says, hearing the doorbell ring. you watch seojun hugging hyunjae's leg. you couldn't help but break into a big smile before clearing your throat.

"yes! here i am." hyunjae says and picks up seojun. although the sight of them was everything you'd ever dreamed of, you were still worried of all that would happen.

all of you leave the house and to your car and you couldn't help but space out. "do you want me to drive? if that's fine with you.." hyunjae offers as you buckle seojun's seat belt. taking out the car key from your pocket, you hand it to him. "sure. why not?"

once all of you were on the road, he clears his throat, a bit nervous. "you don't know how happy i was when you called me today.." you nodded your head, not knowing how to respond. "i don't really know what's going to happen to the both of us from now on and we do still need to figure things out... but i do want you to know that i think it's a great idea you want to be here for seojun. and you know.. about what you said yesterday.. i never stopped loving you either. what you did still hurt and i went through a lot, especially with raising seojun on my own. i hope you understand that it won't be the same anymore. at least not for a while." hyunjae nodded at your words, taking in every sentence seriously. "i know, y/n. i don't expect you to just come running back to me. i know what i did back then, was childish and stupid. but I'm here now, to make it up to you. so take your time and think about things. i'm not gonna be pushing you or anything."

after a while of seojun calling out different colors outside the window, you reached the park. taking out your wallet, hyunjae stops you. "no. i'll pay." you watch as he takes his wallet out as well. "i invited you-"

"y/n. i think i owe you more than three tickets to a water park. please just let me." hyunjae's stare was intimidating enough for you to shove your wallet back in your bag. as he finished paying, you sat down seojun at a bench and got him ready with sunscreen.

"thanks.." you said as hyunjae catches up to you and seojun with the tickets. he nodded his head with a smile. seojun reached for hyunjae's hand, making hyunjae blush. this was hyunjae's and seojun's first memory of them together. it felt weird but you were happy.

"mommy and daddy are finally together. do you love each other?" seojun's question made the two of you look at each other. where did he even learn those words? you chuckled awkwardly. "hmm?"

"mommy always says she loves me. do you love me?" he asks, looking at hyunjae. "of course I love you.."

"and do you love mommy?" you couldn't help but expect an answer even though you'd much rather have a mature conversation between the two of you than your son asking all the questions for you. yeah, you heard the words last night but it felt.. different. "yeah. i do love your mom, seojun." you eyed hyunjae with wide eyes before you cleared your throat.

"what about you, mommy?"

"what about me?"

"do you love daddy?" you chuckled as he looked up to you with sparkly eyes. you changed your view up towards hyunjae and you could see he was doing the same. anticipating your answer.

"yes, baby.. i do.", you saw the way hyunjae's eyes lit up and to your surprise, you felt your heart tingle. it's been a while since it's felt like that. "and we both love you.." you heard a giggle in return before reaching the water slides.

hyunjae was always good with kids. you remember him playing with his younger cousins and their friends at the park. so that's why when he had easily bonded with seojun and the other kids, it was no surprise to you. no later than thirty minutes, he had kids asking seojun to play together and go on the slide with him. you were happy, seeing seojun enjoying the water park.

"mommy! look at me! daddy's carrying me!" you hear and see seojun on hyunjae's shoulders, getting a little worried.

"yeah, that's right.. is it fun?" you asked and waved to seojun. he nodded and wrapped his arms around hyunjae's neck cutely. you smiled at the cute scene in front of you. you walk closer to them to take a photo of seojun but when you see a kid bump into hyunjae, you grab onto him. you didn't want him to lose his balance from it and unconsciously wrapped your arm around him. with an awkward laugh, he carefully placed seojun down. while he runs off to play again, you couldn't get your eyes off hyunjae. you couldn't help it. there was a reason you fell in love with him.

"what?" you looked away, startled from his question. "it's just... can i ask something?", you watch him nod curiously. "why'd you leave that night without actually telling me everything? you know I would have understood. i just feel like you could have explained it to me instead of just leaving me." now that he knows what had been bothering you, hyunjae pulls you into a hug. it's the first time he's touched you since the day you broke up.

"i'm sorry.." he whispered as you placed your hands on his chest. you turned to your side and see seojun. he was still having fun, splashing around with his new friends. you pulled away from hyunjae, realizing you were in public.

"thanks for coming today. really.. i think it means a lot to seojun."

"you know.. you keep saying me all this is good for seojun. what about you? cause if this isn't okay for you, i'm not gonna push it." hyunjae looked at you with worried eyes. he wanted everything to be good with you. he couldn't afford to make another mistake with you. not after seeing you at the carnival and falling in love with you all over again.

"i'm okay with it.. i guess i just need some time to figure things out."

——————————

"mommy.. when can i see daddy again?" seojun's question caught you off guard as you emailed a client.

"would you like to see him again?" he nodded his head so you took out your phone and pressed the facetime button, handing the phone to seojun, causing him to giggle with the phone ringing. you pulled out your computer, glad it was connected to your phone and messaged younghoon about meeting up later today.

you got up from your seat and walked upstairs to see hyunjae smiling on the screen of your phone as seojun's legs swing in happiness. noticing you there, seojun waves his hand.

"mommy.. he said i can come over and play with his friends today.."

"is that so?"

"only if that's okay with you.." you look at hyunjae and smile.

you saw just in time as younghoon responded that he was free so you smile at seojun. "well i'm leaving soon, so i can drop him off on the way." you see the two boys nod in front of you so you chuckle.

"okay okay.. i'll be there in an hour and a half or so. is that fine?"

"yeah. that's fine."

just as you said, you set out an hour later and knocked on the door. "hey y/n. it's nice to see you." eric says, seeing you walk in.

"we've met before, haven't we?", haknyeon says in a teasing tone, instantly walking over towards seojun who was still holding your hand. "can I?" you nod at his pleading eyes before he picks seojun up. he starts to make funny faces, causing seojun to laugh.

"well they will play with seojun while i can get you something to drink? if you're able to stay a bit." changmin offers and you smile, nodding your head.

"that'd be great.." you watch seojun go with hyunjae upstairs before eric takes your hand towards the main room. changmin takes a cup from the cupboard and pours in some tea. "so are you going on a date?"

"i'm sorry?"

"unless you just always dress like that, you have dressed to impress." sunwoo asks you and you smile at the compliment.

"i'm just meeting up with a friend.."

"must be some special friend." juyeon pipes up, lowkey checking you out. "umm. can we not mention any of this to hyunjae? the guy really is just a friend and i don't want him getting the idea that i'm looking to date." they all nod as you sipped your drink awkwardly.

"so uh.. i hope you don't mind me asking but. why don't you date?", you frown at eric"s question. "i know you're busy being a mom but. you know.. hyunjae hasn't been a part of your life for four years now. it's weird to think a pretty girl like you doesn't catch any guys.."

"no, it's alright. umm.. hyunjae did leave but there was always just a part of me that liked the idea of just me and seojun. you'll know once you have a kid but. when you become a parent, you start to view the world differently. it just felt like i didn't need a man to take care of seojun."

"that makes sense.. i guess moms have some kind of power when it comes to their kids." changmin's word made you smile.

"i'm happy for you." sunwoo says, sweetly. all of them knew so much about you. you just assumed hyunjae had talked about you but it felt strangely nice. having someone other than your friends care for you in a fond way.

"it's great that you're independent but i want you to have a proper family one day. someone who makes seojun happy. someone who makes you happy." haknyeon says. you blush, seeing all of them so thoughtful and kind.

"thank you guys.. i mean it.", when you feel your phone chime, you knew you had to go soon. "oh. i guess i have to go but we can talk soon."

when you reach the cafe, you see younghoon with both your orders. you thank him with a small gesture and clear your throat. "so what has been bothering you?" you already knew what younghoon was asking.

"i don't really know how to react to hyunjae appearing like this. i mean. of course i'm happy that seojun gets to meet his dad but you know.. he's been missing out on all his life and you were there when he broke up with me. it's really hard to just ignore how much i suffered back then to let him back in our lives. i want to. for seojun. you know how i've been trying to work out my love life these past few months and now, he just shows up like this. what should i do?" younghoon listened to you carefully and held your hand, sighing.

"i think that.. you need to understand how you feel. no matter the circumstances, i think your feelings matter most. like do you still love him?" you almost choked on your boba, hearing that word.

"i mean. of course i do. maybe not in the same way as before but i still love him. it's not like i can just forget him. well.. it's not how it used to be and-"

"y/n.. this is what you should figure out first. seojun's going to know sooner or later once he grows up and i don't think he wants a mom who can't sort out her own feelings. if you want to start another romance with some other guy, go for that. but if you want to work things out with hyunjae and try to see how everything would lay out, then do that. but you can't just keep using seojun as an excuse for your decisions. he's not some wall you can hide behind." you hated that younghoon was right. he always was. you owed it to him to finally figure this whole situation out. you were always on the receiving end of advice and although to younghoon, you've had plenty of times you'd repay that back but it felt to you that the deserved more than what you could ever offer him as a best friend.

"thanks hoonie.. you really are the best to talk about things. i'll let you know about how it goes. now go get back to work. i know you're on break right now so. i'll see you around." younghoon nodded, pulling you into a hug.

"you deserve the best, y/n.. i mean it." you pat his back, chuckling before you both parted ways. you waited in the cafe, watching others go on with their lives as you think about how hyunjae could stay in your life. you've fallen for him before. you could again.

when the door opens again, you fiddle with your fingers. "how are they?"

"they're having a party up there. go see for yourself." you giggled at the thought of the two boys acting like kids. you knocked on their door to reveal seojun dancing to a song played on the speaker. you watched until he noticed you standing by the door, admiring how cute your son looked.

"mommy!", seojun cheers, as soon as he sees you, and runs over, giving you a big hug. "can daddy stay over tonight?!"

"what?" you were confused as to where he got that idea.

"i want to stay with daddy more." you smiled as hyunjae bent down to his height, holding his shoulders.

"hyunjae.."

"why don't mommy and i talk about it first? you can stay here with eric hyung to keep learning the dance. alright?" he nodded his head, agreeing as the both of you stepped out for a second.

"hyunjae. i want this to work. trust me. i do. more than anything but it's still too much too fast. seojun sleeps with me. i have a guest room but it's not like seojun's gonna let you sleep out on your own-"

"okay first of all.. calm down. i'm only asking for a night. not a lifetime. if you're worried, both of you can stay here. i'll have the other guys sleep here too and we can make a big sleepover. maybe even a movie night.", hyunjae waits for your answer. "come on.. i want to spend time with seojun. i owe it to him. to you.. please.." you felt bad about hyunjae feeling like this so you eventually nodded. you really did want the most for seojun. seeing your approval, hyunjae grinned and opened the door to notify seojun. one thing led to another and you were driving back home to get some clothes and things for you and seojun. hoping you weren't too much of a bother, you decided to cook them dinner.

"woah! this is great, y/n.. i didn't know you could cook too." juyeon said, surprised to see your cooking skills. you blushed at the comment as haknyeon nods in approval as well. "yeah. she's always been good at that." hyunjae's sentence made you blink as all the other boys cleared their throats, feeling like they’re interrupting something.

after cleaning up the kitchen, you walked up to hyunjae's room to set up some of seojun's stuff. on your way out, you bump into sunwoo. "oh hey. you're already finished?"

"it was really good, i wanted to stuff myself with it if i hadn't had such a big lunch today." you chuckled, seeing him exaggerate his body expressions.

"that's good to hear."

as you gather your own belongings, sunwoo speaks. "you know... what you do for seojun. i think it's amazing. i see how it is to be a mother and it's really not easy." your cheeks felt warm from the compliment. "you actually don't know how much that means to me.. thanks."

for the rest of that night, the boys respected your space and let you do your thing.

——————————

"cooking again? i feel like i'm in heaven.." juyeon says at the smell of the kitchen. you were the only one who knew what to feed seojun anyway so you decided to just cook them breakfast. it wasn't like they wanted to be dragged into this mess either and despite knowing you for only a few weeks, they were sweet and kind.

"i gotta cook for a living. i have a kid, you know.." you quickly got the stuff ready and started cooking as haknyeon helped you. or didn't? you swore you had a few more pieces of the meat. but your thoughts were dismissed when you hear a few mumbles from a tired looking hyunjae. his eyes were barely even open before he headed for the coffee machine, which was conveniently next to you. he walks close to you to get the water so you move out of the way, looking up at him. he leans in and gives you a soft kiss on the forehead. "did you sleep alright last night?" he said to you as he leaned his hand onto the top of the stand. you nodded your head, still kind of shocked he had kissed you. "you?"

"i slept great. seojun kept asking me to bring you in too so we can all sleep together but i sang a song to him and it got him to sleep.", you smile, hoping to check in on seojun once you had something to feed the boys. "and uh.. sorry.. about the kiss. old habits.." you chuckle as you continue to cut the vegetables. old habits from years back? you knew he knew what he was doing but you didn't exactly hate it.

when you got juyeon to go wake up the others, in no time, the boys were sitting and getting ready to eat. after you see them start to devour your dish, you giggled to yourself and headed upstairs to check in on seojun. you open the door slowly, hoping not to make much noise.

"mommy?" you hear a small voice say but he doesn't seem fully awake to you. you had to find out the hard way that when he is woken up when he is not ready to, he makes a huge fuss over it. it was actually quite cute to you because it was the same with hyunjae. he was never a morning person. although neither were you. up until you became a mom, you hated waking up early. whenever hyunjae woke up earlier than usual, he liked to just spend the first few hours in bed with you. you lean your head on the frame of the door, admiring your son's features. god, he looked just like hyunjae. you couldn't help but smile. just then, you feel an arm around your shoulder.

"how is he?" you look up to see hyunjae, relieved that he was caring enough to ask. "still sleeping.. i wonder where he got that from." you both chuckle, reminiscing all those memories. you didn't notice his stare on you as you watch seojun's small hands clench the blanket cutely and lips pouting so naturally. it was too adorable. "you're still so beautiful." hyunjae says to you, causing you to blush. you look up at him and lean into him. you feel his arms wrap around you as you slowly watch seojun move around in his sleep. hyunjae was here. he was the love of your life. even on the day he left. and even now, things still haven't changed.

when you hear hyunjae's heartbeat against your ear, something inside you clicked. something you'd felt was missing for all these years. you hesitated a bit before you placed your lips on his. before you could even think of your decision, he had already placed both his hand on your waist and pulled you closer. your noses touch as you softly let go, faces still inches apart.

"i love you.."

"hyunjae..", you were slowly tearing up as you tried to think of the right words. "i don't know what i was thinking. there is nothing to consider. you're the father of my child. of our child. that baby in there is my only treasure right now and you're the one who gave me him. i have watched him grow and i have never once regretted having him. all these years, i've felt so lucky to have a mini version of you that i got to keep on my end," hyunjae listened carefully to your words. his eyes sparkled as he did so, wanting to do nothing but hug you and tell you that none of this was your fault. that what he did was stupid and he only wants you to be happy. "i once loved you so much that i'd do anything for you. and i know i can again. i'm sorry for being so confusing and doing this push and pull game with you. i never should have been so childish about this. seojun would be more than happy to know if you and i got back together.. that is.. if you still want to."

"if i want to? y/n.. there is nothing more that could make me happier," he pulled you into another sudden kiss, softly letting go before wrapping his warm embrace around you. "i will do everything to make you guys happy. it is, from now on, my number one priority.."

"and about your job?"

"still my number one priority. i want to be there for you guys from now on. i know there's a company that goes along with this but i mean it when i say i'm here when you need me to be." his comforting words made you feel safe, knowing he was going to be by your side from now on.

"i know you'll be a good father.."

"you really think so?"

"i know so."

"if that's the case, i'll pay for your rent and everything from now on. in fact, i'm moving in. we can get married and we-"

"woah.. woah. easy there, buddy. don't get too ahead of yourself there. i don't mind the rent part but marrying. it'll take at least a few months." with a sigh, he holds your hand. "okay... as long as i get to still be with you. now get ready to invite everyone to our wedding." he smirked, finding your glare amusing.

"hyunjae!"

"i'm kidding.." hyunjae laughs as you both heard the bed creak. your son was running over, almost bumping his body against yours. you pick him up with a kiss on his cheek.

"did you sleep alright?"

"mhmm.. but next time, i want you and daddy to sleep together." he says, as you let him down onto the floor. you blushed as you already knew that smirk that was plastered onto hyunjae's face.

"this kid knows what he's talking about." he teased you so you smack his chest.

lee hyunjae wasn't some boy you could start hating just because he broke up with you. lee hyunjae was your high school sweetheart. he held good standards at school, at home, and always did the best for you. so no, he was a guy you loved even after a breakup. and you loved him because he left you with the best gift in your life and managed to come back as if nothing had changed.

he was your first love. he was your second love. and he was your last love.

tbz hyunjae x the summer i turned pretty

ONE DANCE | teaser

synopsis — Kim Eunji writes love letters to all her crushes. One day, her brother Kim Sunwoo decides that his sister needed to get into a relationship. Rummaging through her room, he finds a box filled with her letters, all signed with addresses. My my, was it going to be a thrill ride…

  "LOOK, SUNWOO; I'M NOT lonely, nor am I seeking for a relationship right now! Don't bother me, and just go and do your homework," sighed Kim Eunji.

     "I'm just saying, it'd be better if you did date someone so you wouldn't be moping around the house most of the day!" replied Eunji's little brother, Sunwoo.

     "Aish, don't bother me anymore—just go already."

     "Ya ya," He rolled his eyes, before going up the stairs. While doing so, however, his eyes landed on a shirt. To be exact—Eunji's shirt.

     What a mess.. He picked it up, before going into Eunji's room. His eyes darted around her room; it was the same as how it always was. Books put everywhere and walls filled with small writing nooks and polaroid shots. Yet somehow, a vase of bouquets would somehow always be in her room too.

     Sunwoo went to her walk-in closet, before throwing the shirt into one of the messy drawers. He was about to leave before something caught his eye. In the corner of his eye, hidden in the back of the clothes was a white box. It looked to be the size of a shoe box, and had a pink ribbon tying it. And, being the curious kid he was; he decided to take it and open it.

     To be fair, Sunwoo totally did not expect whatsoever was inside it. He had expected more paper, more books, or maybe even; an upcoming book series that Eunji was going to publish. However, inside it was letters. Not only that—but they were addressed and named.

      That day, Kim Sunwoo smiled mischievously, not knowing the upcoming consequences of his actions.

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stupid feelings | l.hyunjae

synopsis: spending new years’ with your childhood friend but you made a mistake of falling in love with him.

pairing: tbz’s hyunjae x reader

genre: unrequited love, slight fluff, angst

wc: 1.5k

warning: profanities, hyunjae is a little rude here

network: @kflixnet

leona was listening to: inner child by satica

not proofread

“c’mon, let’s go to the rooftop!” hyunjae hurriedly said, pulling you along with him up the stairs, “there’s only a minute left!” you didn’t say anything more since all you could focus on was his gentle touch against your wrist. you honestly don’t know when you started having such feelings for the man in front of you, maybe it was the initial tension between you two or maybe it was the undeniable chemistry you two had.

as soon as you step foot onto the huge rooftop garden, you could hear fireworks popping but no sight to see. a hum of confusion spiralled out of the both of you as you guys thought you could see the fireworks from the mall’s rooftop.

“oh! y/n, behind us!” he was beyond excited to see the fireworks, pointing to the scenery behind you guys. spinning around, you were met face to face with different vibrant colours of the fireworks shooting into the night sky. a clear view presented itself from the high level.

you were in awe as you ran to the railings, getting as close as you could to see them. the atmosphere turned quiet as the two of you observed the show, just living in the moment. your arms rested against the metal railings, mouth agape as you took in the scene silently.

you barely realised that hyunjae hadn’t been beside you since you stepped towards the edge. as you turned around to check on him, you caught him taking pictures of you as multiple fireworks went off behind you.

“ah, what are you doing?” you chuckled, posing jokingly as hyunjae continued to snap photos of you, the sound of the camera shuttering multiple times. “taking pictures of a nice sight, duh,” he replied, a wide grin plastered on his face as he made his way towards you, finally stopping his mini photoshoot.

“fine, then you stand there now, i’ll take pictures of you,” you were about to move away from him so you could take solo shots of him but he only pulled you closer, “it’s okay, we can take it together.”

he didn’t give you time to object before he wrapped his arm around your shoulder before planting a kiss on your cheek, taking a selfie with you, purple fireworks shot upwards, erupting into loud noise. you merely had time to react so when he took the picture, you were looking at him, eyes widened at the action he did.

“delete that picture! i wasn’t ready!” you shouted, reaching for his phone. “no! you look cute, don’t worry,” he retaliated, staring at the picture. “what are you saying,” you stuttered as you processed what he just casually said.

“shh, you talk too much, just look at the view,” he placed his index finger on your lips, the cold sensation of his ring grazing against your lips as he spun you back around to look at the fireworks.

you tried, you really did try to pay attention to the fireworks but his loose grip that shifted to your waist made you wish there was something more to this friendship, relationship even. you honestly didn’t know whether hyunjae knew about your feelings and chose to ignore it or he actually was oblivious to the fact that you were head over heels with him.

you weren’t entirely lying when you said you didn’t know why and how you came to liking your childhood best friend but you could guess around when you started to.

maybe it was when he stood up to those girls who bullied you for dancing online, saying they were just jealous of you even though you knew you looked like a worm or maybe it was when he invited you to the waterpark even when his best guy friend was available on that day. perhaps it was the fact that he never changed despite gaining popularity during high school, even though you did think he was going to be just like those assholes in movies. you were glad he didn’t.

even so, could he like you back? it would completely ruin the dynamics of the friendship that has been lasting for 16 years since you guys were 8. it might be for the best if you just pushed those stupid feelings down and never speak of them again.

you nodded to your own thoughts and was about to pull away his hand from your waist when soft pattering of the rain immediately changed into pouring, heavy rain. “shit, y/n, we gotta go,” hyunjae muttered, clasping your hand, pulling you through the rooftop. it was a bad idea to wear white shoes since the muddy grass dirtied them but you don’t think you could’ve changed hyunjae’s mind in dragging you along with him.

it was funny wasn’t it, spending new years with your best friend, running in the rain together, yet all the two of you were friends. just friends.

you guys finally made it to the stairwell and trying not to trip down the stairs was a challenge. the two of you only stopped when you found a seat in a cafe in the building itself.

“well, that was eventful,” you sighed, ruffling your hair back. “sure was..” he replied, taking in deep breaths. as soon as he caught his breath he started again, “oh, yeah! remember the girl from my university? the one working part time at the gym i always go to?”

“um.. no? i don’t think i’ve heard of her?” your brows couldn’t help but to furrow at the mention of a new girl in his life. “oh, then i must’ve just told juyeon, anyways! i met her two weeks ago, she’s super cute and exactly my type, so i mustered up the courage to ask her out on a date and apparently she had been eyeing me too,” he spoke excitedly, wiggling his eyebrows.

yea, as if you were going to be so happy with the news. you had been doing such a great job holding it in but this, this was it.

“hyunjae, then why would you kiss my cheek? and call me what? call me cute? what the fuck is wrong with you, you can’t be playing with peoples’ feelings like that, i don’t know if you’re doing this on purpose or if you are just plain dumb but it really hurts. my heart is not something you can mess around with, it’s not a toy and i will not allow it to be played with. i truly don’t know your intentions but you’re a dick,” you couldn’t control what was coming out of your mouth, it felt like water was just seeping out, all gates broke loose.

“i know you’re popular and i know you wouldn’t have left me for those more superior than me but i’d rather that happen than you stringing me along,” tears brimmed your eyes as you ranted. you were thankful for an almost empty cafe.

at first, hyunjae was at a loss for words. he couldn’t say anything, what would you even say to that? it felt relieving calling him out but as soon as you heard his next words, you wished you had never even opened your mouth at all.

“are you actually serious? that’s literally what close friends do and if you can’t respect my small actions then what are we doing together, still as friends? i can’t believe you make me the bad guy when you’re the one being selfish for thinking the whole world revolves around you, it’s been nice having you as my friend, i thought you knew me, guess not. i’ll see you around.” he stormed off despite your rushed callings.

“wait!” you stood up but he walked away too fast for you to even utter another syllable. you drop into the once comfy armchair, placing your head into your hands. the utter rejection and humiliation was indescribable beyond words. this wouldn’t happen if it weren’t for your stupid feelings. you ruined the friendship, it was all your fault. you knew better than to lash out at him, you knew he could never harbour romantic feelings for you but the bitter ending got to you. stupid feelings.

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permanent taglist: @stealanity @yengyangyo @jaerisdiction @zwiehe @heojangmi @paralumanniluna @luvrbin @odxrilove @0912005 @coffee-jeon @changmin-wrlds @idiot_karma @carolnina55 @mavericsohn @sjyuniverse @luvkellys7nhur @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @nyujjan @defjcm @onlyticket-home @poeticdamn @sunnysunwoo0412 <3

might be based on true events.. anyways, sorry this was really rushed since i wrote this in class on like 5% battery and also wanted to get something out on my birthday (two days ago oops), might delete bc i hate the ending, i'll figure out a better one! sorry!

love, leona

Hey ねえ liar, oh yeah liarㅤ₊ㅤ◌⃘ ㅤ♱ㅤ﹒ㅤ𖤓

とどまる事は無意味? hey, wow, oh yeah

i’m literally just writing for eric & hyunjae at this point omg i am a wreck you guys

i just posted hyunjae, i have three eric drafts & one more hyunjae draft in the works oml i need to write for other people

hyunjae day <3

september 13, 1997 : the day my beautiful hyunjae was born.

happiest of birthdays to my beloved lee jaehyun. the boy who owns my entire heart & the one who makes me smile endlessly <3 my forever love, my very being exists for the sole purpose of loving you endlessly.

as much as it may seem as a shock, my love for you didn’t come right away. it was more of a gradual thing. you started off as bias wrecker, but after four months, i started to realize just how strongly i felt for you. it turns out, the love i have for you will never stop doubling. i have come to fall irrevocably in love with you more and more each day. 

to me, you are a vision. a being so ethereal and perfect that it seems impossible that you actually exist. yet, it appears that you are in fact very real. crazy, right? i didn’t think so either, until i saw you with my own two eyes. i didn’t yet bias you at the time, but seeing you in concert definitely helped me come to bias you along the road. you’re a dream, lee jaehyun. truly an impossibly perfect being.

it’s unreal to think that there could be someone as talented, kindhearted, and visually beautiful who actually exists. you truly are a man of great luck; to be born a star. you’re such a gift to this sad, sometimes upsetting world. you make my day every time i see you or even think of you. i will always come to you when i need comfort or encouragement for my day to day life.

so, in conclusion, i love you infinitely, my dear boy. happy birthday to my beloved hyunjae. i wish that 25 treats you well & that you are always surrounded by love and joy wherever you go. thank you for being by my side, and i promise to always be by yours.

happy birthday, my love. <3

#@¡^#-he's doing just f i n e!

random headers!

like and reblog if u save!

don't repost elsewhere!

[ Neptune ]

[19:32] | tbz kim sunwoo

» ​PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x pregnant fem reader​ » TROPE/AU​: uhhhh...i don't think there's a trope for this one 🤔 established relationship au! marriage au! » GENRE​: hurt/comfort!!, husband sunwoo, fluffy fluffy fluff fluff, slight angst, ​comforting sunwoo, loving sunwoo, patient sunwoo, hurt/comfort » WORD COUNT: ​1868 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~7 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): pregnancy, vomiting and sickness, insecurities

this was my first ever timestamp story! ahhhh the memories from re-reading this 😍

i didn't want to change it much (changed one sentence) but it's more proofread now 🤭 this gathered 183 notes (14 rbs, 169 likes) and even though it hurts that i can't see that evidence anymore, i'm glad it got that much love!! this is very overdue but thank you so much 🫶

navi/masterlist!!

You never knew that pregnancy would be this hard. 

Whenever you asked your mum about her pregnancy journey, she would always have a smile on her face, telling you all the exciting milestones; first positive test, telling other people the news, first ultrasound, first time there was a definite belly bump, first movement, buying items for you or your big brother and the list goes on.

Your mum didn’t leave out the other side of pregnancy though and in particular the sickness and depleted self-confidence due to the new changes in the body internally and externally. However, your mum only experienced a few episodes of morning sickness (compared to your grandma or her already mum friends) and you were nowhere like your mum.

“Please…” The tears in your eyes only accumulated over the past hour or so and the clock on the opposite side of the bathroom was becoming blurry. You could only murmur out whispers of pain and begs that this episode would pass by soon; and before Sunwoo would arrive home.

Kim Sunwoo has been the best husband ever. You thought that he was already perfect and loving but with all the new challenges and experiences in life, there was no way that you couldn’t fall for him even more day by day and the silver band around your ring finger is one of the evidences for that. 

Trudging to stand up from the kneeling position, the small whispers turned into louder cries by the second. The headache was killing you, your knees felt so cold and you could still taste the acidity of your stomach in your mouth. The flush button feels so out of reach unlike the first three times you pushed it and you eventually gave up for a bit to rest your forehead on the toilet seat, “God please…”

Still with all of these rough patches during your pregnancy, your blurry eyes could still see the purple shirt that covered your little pregnancy bump and with shaky hands, you soothed the little bean inside of you, “Can’t wait to meet you, baby. Your dad and I can’t wait to finally hold you in our arms.”

As if your child is listening, a little kick could be felt as if acknowledging their mother’s loving words. You could only sob while chuckling, still softly rubbing your stomach and whispering sweet nothings to your stomach. 

In the back of your mind, you are still very aware of the time. Sunwoo was supposed to arrive home around an hour ago yet he’s still not home. You were about to call him to check up on him but your episode started and your phone is way too far for you to even comprehend walking to the other side of the apartment. Sunwoo has been so busy for the whole time of your pregnancy with work as well as taking care of you. 

Waking up at a random time at three? He’s there to walk you to the bathroom

Sudden craving as soon as you wake up? Count on him to drive there and back as soon as possible.

Needing hugs and comfort? He’s running and never letting you go.

This was not how you wanted to greet him after a long week of work, especially when it was his first week of getting promoted. You just don’t ever want to worry him but you conflictingly accepted that pregnancy is not necessarily a one-person job and Sunwoo made you realise how important it is to always reach out to him whenever you need him. Still, you try to do everything yourself first.

Needless to say, you love this man with your whole being and you can’t wait for your child to meet the best dad in the whole wide world.

You freaked out at the familiar sound of the door unlocking, creaking open and the bright call for your name. With all the strength that you have accumulated over this short amount of time, you find the drive to stand up, put the toilet lid down and flush your evidence of pain down the drain. 

But throughout your pregnancy, Sunwoo is always so alert whenever he hears the toilet flushing that he practically runs to the bathroom to see you struggling to take even a step further away from the toilet, holding your body by pushing down your palm onto the edge of the sink next to you, “Baby?” At the sight of your dried tears, red eyes, dishevelled hair and shaking body, Sunwoo rushes over to you, imagining the war that you probably had alone, “Sit down here.” He pointed and directed you to the toilet seat.

You couldn’t help but cry again when you felt Sunwoo’s arm wrapping around your waist, setting you down on the toilet carefully. He kneels before you, lifting his head to scan your face for any additional discomfort, “I’m sorry.” Sobbing louder and louder when you catch a glimpse of his worried glance and creasing forehead, “I wanted to greet you nicely today. I even made you some snacks and such in the kitchen but you have to see me all ugly like th---”

“Hey, hey. Just stop, okay?” Sunwoo hushes your words when you begin to downgrade yourself, “Don’t say those things. You’re beautiful, bubs.” He tries to steal a kiss from your lips but you shake your head and push your face backwards, “Hey…”

“No, don’t kiss me. I'm disgusting right now.” You managed to say between your sobs. You couldn’t face your husband anymore in shame that you couldn’t take care of yourself for the whole week. Everything seemed to have the worst timing. You just wanted to make sure you could at least be there for Sunwoo when he opened the front door as he got through his first week of promotion yet not even halfway through the week, it was obvious that Sunwoo has done more reassuring than getting reassurance, “Don’t leave me…” 

Your heartbreaking tone made Sunwoo's heartbreak, “I promise I won’t.” He whispers with a sad smile. He’s heard this a couple of times recently but he promised himself and to you that he will always remind you that he’ll always be by your side, just like he promised a year ago on your wedding day, “Bubs, I’m right here for you. You can lean on me okay?” You clenched your fist at the understanding words, though you still felt so frustrated with yourself. Sensing this, Sunwoo rests both his hands on yours, moving his thumb over your palm to hopefully soothe your nerves, “I…should have called you. I’m sorry I’m late today.”

“Don’t be…” You shake your head, and finally meet your husband’s eyes who looks to be relaxed even though he’s also nervous inside, “Was everything okay today?”

“It was more than alright.” Sunwoo bites his bottom lip, crushing himself out internally to not rush home even faster when he left work today. He tried to hide his thoughts but his hands on top of you betrayed him.

“Sunwoo…what’s wrong?” 

“It’s just that---” Sunwoo sighs out exasperatedly at his past actions, taking one hand away to sweep his hair backwards, “I just should have come home earlier. I finished work early today but I decided to go to the shops for a while.”

“Hey, don’t blame yourself.” You reassured him for the first time in the whole week (that’s what you felt at least), bringing your hands to cup his face gently, “Did you get whatever it was that you wanted?”

“I…” Sunwoo shook his head, closing his eyes frustratingly, “I did but I would have come home earlier if I knew you were like this.” Suddenly, he took out his phone from his pocket, scanning the call log history and not once a single missed call came from you, “Where’s your phone by the way? Why didn’t you call me with your watch?”

“Phone is in the kitchen. And my watch…” You answered guiltily. You had a feeling where this conversation would go as it did many times in the past. 

There were too many occurrences before this one when Sunwoo would come home with you in this state, sometimes better than this, unfortunately, more times worse than this. When Sunwoo realised that this wasn’t going to be an easy thing to predict and prepare, he got you a smartwatch that allows you to call him. 

Never once had you used it.

How could you when you felt like the worst person ever to be burdening him with this? You should be able to do this alone. All the mothers on the internet did. All those single mothers probably did this all alone too. So you should be able to do this too?

“We talked about this.” Sunwoo said sternly, his eyebrows furrowed. He puts both of your hands away from his face to your lap, tapping on your watch on your wrist and calling his phone to make sure the dial still works. Sure enough, his own phone rings along with your saved name on his phone and his personalised ringtone for his wife, “Bubs…”

You shook your head, “I-I just can’t…not when you’re so busy with work and feeling tired.”

“Bubs.” Sunwoo’s voice shook and before saying anything else, he rested his forehead on your hands, taking deep breaths as he calmed himself down, “In sickness and in health right?” He continued his words as he looked back up with a tear rolling down his face. You whimper at the sight, your heart swelling as you can feel the love that he holds for you in his eyes.

“I-I know but sti---”

“Pregnancy is not supposed to be tackled alone like this.” Sunwoo shook his head, pressing a kiss with his plump lips on your forehead, “Someone is supposed to support you, hold you, and make sure you and the baby are safe and sound. I can’t be that someone if you don’t tell me, you know?” He reminded you once again, being the utmost patient with you as you wrap your arms around his neck and he holds the sides of your waist.

“Sunwoo…”

“Call me next time, please? You’re not a burden. Not to me. Never to me.” Sunwoo cups the side of your face with his palm and with a genuine smile that finally reaches his eyes, Sunwoo leans down to give you a soft peck on the lips despite your pout and complains after, “You’re beautiful, sweetheart. I love you so much.”

It was such a simple statement from your husband yet you felt your whole body relax at the genuine reassurance from the one person that you love the most in this world. Even though your eyes were still leaving tears down your face, Sunwoo looked at you with the most heartwarming gaze in the whole world, smiling with that box smile of his when you finally managed to let out a small smile, “I love you so much, Kim Sunwoo.”

“Now.” Sunwoo leans away to stand up slowly before kneeling back down again but this time with his back facing you, “Hop on! I bet you’ll be happy with what I got you.”

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

this summer... | tbz lee jaehyun | hyunjae

» ​PAIRING: tbz lee jaehyun x fem reader​ » TROPE/AU​: don't think there's a trope for this one 🤔 established relationship au! » GENRE​: summer break, holiday with friends, boyfie hyunjae, hyunjae's cute curly hair makes an appearance!, very fluffy patient hyunjae, very cute hyunjae, comforting and lovely hyunjae, summer holiday cause we all deserve to rest, maybe around...4/5 comfort level (in my standards!), hyunjae tucks your hair behind your ears, reader blushes because of boyfie hyunjae, long-haired reader who uses her hair to hide from hyunjae, standing infront of the mirror together as you both face your insecurities (hyunjae is also taller than you) » WORD COUNT: ​6384 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~25 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): insecurities, weight and body image

repost for @deoboyznet's 📢❤️ first house event!

just went back and fixed up the grammar and writing mistakes (there were a lot, i don't know how i missed it 😭)

Summer holds a very soft, warm spot in your heart.

For one, it’s the way the season is conveniently placed in the middle of July to the end of August which is the best time to destress after almost half a year of studying your ass off.

Secondly, it’s the way that you would shout “cannonball!” whilst you and your friends linked hands and jumped into the backyard, outdoor swimming pool.

Thirdly, it’s the way that you can flexibly work your schedule for a short amount of time: waking up, sleeping whenever you want to, studying when you want to and hanging out with the same friends when you want to.

Fourthly, it’s the way that every single food tastes so much better in the sunny summer compared to other white winters, the sneezy spring and the awkward cold-but-not-too-cold autumn.

But it’s also the way that you met your boyfriend in this beautiful season two years ago when he transferred to your school, alongside the fact that he shyly (but confidently, at the same time) asked you to be his a year ago at your favourite beach. You remember the way his cheeks flush with surprise when he turns back upon Younghoon and Jacob’s mischievous giggles, telling him to turn back to see you stare at him in bewilderment. The truth was revealed later on that your friends plotted the confession, complaining about your blindness of the lovesick eyes that you both sent to each other yet doing nothing about it.

To celebrate your last high school summer break together, Jaehyun’s closest two friends, Younghoon and Jacob, would come together with your slightly bigger group to spend a little four-day, three-night getaway at Jeju Island.

All of you have been talking about this for ages and how it would be a fun treat for making it through the last decade of compulsory high school and to give an encouraging pump for the last half a year left before you all finally become adults and take your own pathways. You all saved money like crazy even when you all reached the budget that is needed (you never know what could happen!) and the exciting day finally starts off tomorrow with Jacob driving one car while Seoyoon drives the smaller 4-wheel drive. It’s a shame that they couldn’t find a single car for all six of them at a reasonable price but they are all thankful for the opportunity to even share these memories together. 

“Are you all ready for tomorrow?” Your mum peaks in after she knocks on your bedroom door. She was just as excited as you are, seeing how much you worked so hard both at school and your efforts on saving money for the last three years, “Give this to Jaehyun for me as well.”

“Hm?” You took your eyes off your still messy luggage to see, what you assumed to be, a black leather jacket that was folded neatly with a red ribbon wrapped around it; don’t forget the simple small card with his name on it, slipped in the middle of the ribbon. 

“It’s his birthday gift. It was his birthday recently, right?” Your mum’s considerate act made you smile brightly and you jumped up from your knees to give her a tight hug. With your arms around her neck and your neck on her shoulders, you squeal in happiness, “Okay, okay I get it, you love him very much.”

You jump, still in your mum’s arms with your head in the clouds as you picture your loving boyfriend that you will be able to spend time with nonstop for the next four days or so, “I really really do. He’s just so perfect, mum.”

“Yes, yes. I’ve heard this way too much. Now let go of me, child. You need to finish packing.” Your mum rolls her eyes playfully and you know there was a big smile plastered on her own face with the way her words were delivered so clearly.

“Okay, okay.” With a quick kiss on her cheek, your mum disappears to the other side of the door. You let out a sigh of happiness, putting Jaehyun’s gift next to your luggage as you imagined how cute, good, hot, handsom---

“Also,” You jump a bit, hands on your chest when your mum surprised you this time with no further notice of her presence, “stop stealing his clothes.” You just giggle guiltily as her uninteresting eyes direct themselves to your overfilled, messy closet, “One, you already have a lot. Two,” back to your giddy figure, “he’s going to go broke.”

The whole house was sleeping, recharging from their own personal tiring events from the day. You should probably be too as you’ve all planned quite an early morning to get the most out of your holiday together. Instead though, somewhere in the middle of your packing, you couldn’t help but call your boyfriend, “Can you…” 

“Hm?” Jaehyun on the other side of the line was also about to call you earlier and his face lit up when your name popped up on his screen, the familiar and specific ringtone bouncing around his four walls excitedly, “What’s wrong?”

The both of them curled up in their own respective beds with hushed voices full of love and adoration. Their phones were near their own faces as they lay down on their side to face each other’s respective profile pictures on their phones. At first, they wanted to do a video call but Jaehyun adamantly refused as per experience, they would not be able to sleep until about an hour before they were supposed to wake up. As much as you both know that you (probably) shouldn’t be doing that during school times, sitting next to each other during recess and lunch, with your head resting on his shoulder and his on top of yours as you both tried desperately to recharge quickly for the next periods, you both concluded that those late night (early morning) talks have always been worth it.

“Can we just…not sleep tonight?” You offered, your cheeks red as you pulled your blanket further up your face to hide as if Jaehyun could see you over his phone, “And just talk?”

“You know we shouldn’t, bubs.” Jaehyun hums, whispering back to you softly, “Plus we will literally be together for four days.”

“Well,” You grumble, sighing out as you finally voice the rough mathematical sound in your head, “technically less because we won’t be in the same room and then after that, there will be toilet breaks and then we lose milliseconds when we blink our eyes and then we won’t be in the same car as well, which is a big deal and it’s ju---”

“Okay okay, so maybe it’s not for a full ninety-six hours.” Jaehyun’s amused chuckle made you softly smile again, closing your eyes to focus on his comforting voice, “But we should get to sleep now, hm? Let’s just keep the phone on, okay?”

“Ah! I forgot to tell you abou---”

“Bubs.” Jaehyun scolds you playfully. You could make out the grin on his face and the way his eyes form little crescent shapes as you just whine about not wanting to fall asleep yet, “Tell you what.”

“Hm?”

You make out the shuffles from the other side of the line, telling you that Jaehyun is getting into a more comfortable position. This made you kick your legs and squeal into the phone as you knew what he would say next. Jaehyun shakes his head at your obviously delighted response. He sits up on the bed, laying his back on the bed frame. With his phone on his lap, he continued to make his little ‘deal’, “I’ll sing and you sleep.”

“Fine.” You rolled your eyes but the tone of your voice gave away what you truly felt, “Night, Jae.”

“Goodnight, bubs.”

You woke up refreshed, the tune that Jaehyun sang to you last night replaying in your head. You forgot to charge your phone last night so when you said ‘good morning’ and didn’t receive a response back, you were worried that something happened to the other line. Quickly jumping out of bed to reach for your power bank and starting your phone up with a series of impatient ‘come on, come on’, you thought you could beat your boyfriend’s text first.

With a bear and a heart next to his name, your notification showed the ‘good morning, sleepyhead.’ and the ‘beat you to it first, bubs.’

You slap your forehead gently to scold yourself. Forgetting to charge your phone overnight during an overnight phone call isn’t new to you and you made a bet with Jaehyun that the next time it happens (which is, just then), you would be the first one to send him a ‘good morning’ text, beating his unbeatable strike of twenty-three.

“Well, that’s twenty-four now.” The heartwarming feeling spreads through your body again and the smallest things that Jaehyun did made you feel so loved that you felt that you were out of this world.

You plop back down on your bed, stretching your arms out to the ceiling with your phones in your hands as you watch the ‘ringing’ switch to a stopwatch to show the duration of the call, “You beat me.” Jaehyun chuckles through the speaker mode.

“Good morning to you too.” You see the request to turn the voice call into a video call and you pick it up immediately, “Ah, my girlfriend is so pretty in the morning.”

“Lee Jaehyun, stop.” You pull your hair over to hide your face, peeking through the gaps to see him blow a kiss at you. You blew one back, your cheeks still flaring red and warm, “If I look pretty then you’re a masterpiece.”

“As if.” With the new angle of the phone facing towards the ceiling, you observed the way that your boyfriend enters a new room, turning on the lights to start his morning routine. Jaehyun puts his phone against his bathroom mirror but due to his height and the lower table, you can no longer see his face. But you didn’t need to see his face to know what he was going to do. 

Your regular morning and night phone calls served as a kind of ‘get ready for’ something together and it also allowed you both to become more comfortable with each other during your first stages of dating. When you were just friends, these calls weren’t regular and only happened when you both needed to get something off your chests, or maybe rant about a nightmare that you had and needed some comfort. When you both started dating, it naturally became a regular thing you both indulged in, spending hours studying or watching movies together at night and spending your morning hours together before you hung up when you both were back to each other physically.

So you knew very well what Jaehyun was going to do when he let out a loud exhale and plugged his hair straighter into the power plug on the wall where the phone was near, “Straightening your hair?” You didn’t ask this question often. Most of the time you asked is either because you both weren’t currently talking or were too busy in your morning routines.

“Yeah.” He lets out a loud exhale and you observe how his chest leans forward toward the mirror, presumably to take a better look at a part of his hair that is already straightened, "Just…" another sigh, "yeah."

You nod at his words. Turning over to lay on your stomach to be in a more comfortable position, you just watch Jaehyun's arms moving left to right, up and down as he readjusts his hair with the help of his mirror. The series of 'tsk' from the other side of the line made your heart clench and you couldn't help but reassure him, your chin resting on your arm, "I love your curly hair, Jae."

You know how much Jaehyun gets insecure about his natural hair sometimes. The very first time you saw it was when you arrived at Jaehyun's house really early when you both were only friends. He opened the door for you to wait inside but due to his nervousness about unexpectedly having you over and walking to school with you for the first time, he forgot to finish his morning routine.

You remember greeting him with a shy smile and 'good morning' and he didn't even get the chance to say it back because your eyes travelled up to the very different hairstyle he has compared to the one you see at school. No need to say, he shut the door on you and the whoosh of wind left you stunned at the front door for a while.

When he opened the door again, you sweetly smiled at him, complimenting the natural shape of his hair. His worries about you seeing him as different (and possibly in your eyes, ugly) all disappear when you offer to straighten his hair for him.

Lee Jaehyun was a tomato throughout it all, especially when you said you like boys with curly hair. Like, what was he even supposed to do with that information?

"R-Really?" You lift your chin, coming closer to the phone screen when Jaehyun's face comes into view, "I-I just…I look so ba---"

"You look gorgeous." You quickly interrupted and you relaxed when Jaehyun let out a genuine sigh of relief. You took note of how his smile grew and his eyes looked at you thankfully, "I promise."

He retrieves his phone back to his hand and places his now gleaming face in the middle of the screen, "Thank you." He blew a kiss to the screen and you returned the gesture back before finally starting your own morning routine before Seoyoon arrived.

It's only around thirty minutes later when Seoyoon texted her arrival and you scurried down the stairs with all your necessities chaotically, "I think I'll hang up now. Lyla will not let me live otherwise."

"Yep, even though she's the biggest contributor to our relationship." Jaehyun remarks, "See you soon, bubs."

"Love you, see you soon!"

You turned off your phone, pocketed it safely and dropped your luggage in the trunk of the car. Hopping in with an excited feeling, you were quickly attacked with your own words that you said a couple of minutes ago.

"Love you, see you soon!!" Lyla imitates you, a series of eyebrow wiggles and teasing smiles on her face when she turns her body over to face the back seat where you just groan and roll your eyes.

"Hey. You and Jacob aren't any better." Seoyeon defends you swiftly and you poke your tongue out at your now-defeated friend.

"They're so cute, it physically makes me sick." Your backseat partner, Sua comments.

You squint your eyes at her, "I'm not sure whether that's a compliment or not but I'll just accept it and move on." Seoyeon watches her best friend from the rearview mirror, nodding and clicking her tongue in approval while humming in thought, "What?"

"You and Jaehyun are perfect for each other indeed." Seoyoon starts the engine again, turning up the music to a desirable amount for the hour-long trip to the resort.

You blush at that, murmuring to yourself, "He's perfect for sure." 

The holiday just started and it’s already so much better than you expected. While waiting for your gate to open, you pass Jaehyun’s gift from your mum, your boyfriend putting it on straight away despite the warm weather and sending a video message to your mum in gratitude. Lyla also planned a 'little' daily schedule for you all to follow the past few days. The later bloomers were not particularly happy with starting the day at nine and ending it at eleven on the same day and through choruses of opinions, she scrapped the idea and reduced the amount of group activities. You reassured your best friend that you would still do the main things that she wanted to do together and you were satisfied with the way she tackled you down on the bed in happiness. 

Other than that, you all did an awesome job at finding this beach house. The location of the beach house is convenient and with the time of the year, a lot of night markets and activities were planned each day to celebrate the warm season. The area is filled with other couples and not so surprisingly other students who are enjoying their short freedom before they have to bury their whole bodies underneath a pile of books and practice exam papers. 

“We’re finally here!” You all walked out and breathed the minty fresh air and salty sea as you stepped out of the airport, “This is so exciting!” Sua pulls both you and Seoyoon by the waist, squishing you three into a tight hug, “We’re going to have so much fun.”

You chuckle and affirm her words, “But let’s get the car first.”

Jacob points to the familiar plate numbers and along with Seoyoon, figures out the final arrangements, all the terms and conditions before finally attaining the keys from the person in charge.

“Can I---”

“No. You already spent like an hour with him on the flight.” 

Sua gives you a deadpan look and Lyla pushes the girl lightly, “Just let her go. Jaehyun is looking at us with puppy eyes as well. Go with Jacob though, don’t want to see you two being all lovey-dovey.”

“Ew.” Sua throws her head back and jumps out of the hug, “You know what you both go in Jacob’s car. I’m going to go with Younghoon and Seoyoon.”

You took Lyla’s hand with your chin held high, teasing Sua’s look of grimace, “Not a problem with me.” As you were about to grab the handle of your wheel bag in another, Jaehyun ran to your side and beat you to it, giving you a quick kiss on your cheek.

His smirk grew at the way your cheeks grew red at the lingering feeling of his lips, “You weren’t giving me any attention.” Lyla squeals and runs away from you to hug her own boyfriend instead. Still frozen and shy at the unexpected act, you turned your head to the side with raised eyebrows, a gaped mouth and being absolutely speechless, Jaehyun shrugged innocently, “I was getting kind of lonely, bubs.” 

“Lee Jaeh---”

Another kiss this time was given straight to your lips, muffling your complaints.

“Wha---”

Your internal body temperature is rising to be as hot as the summer heat and Jaehyun knew that he needed to cool you down or else you were probably going to murder him for making you so flustered in the middle of the walkway entrance of the airport door. He dips his head down once more to ghost over your plumper lips and before you can say anything else, his palms land softly on both sides of your waist, encasing you in his hold. His thumbs soothe down the sides of your body particularly along your ribs as you gasp from the delicate touch before he dives in to kiss you once more. Your own arms lift and you cross your wrists over on his nape, pulling him closer and responding to the kiss.

You felt nervous as you were out in public, tens of people just walking by or just standing around, but it all dissipated when you felt his breath on your lips. The kiss itself wasn’t heated like some of your other kisses with him but rather sweet and gentle. His lips would hug your lower lips before pulling away a little bit and hug your upper lip instead, relishing the way you would respond to him as a smile grew on both of your faces. He would do those little nudges and brushes with his nose on yours and you giggled as it meant that his playful self appeared to replace his flirty self.

“A bit jealous?” You asked him with your foreheads against each other.

“No.” Jaehyun smiles so widely when you both make eye contact, so much so that his cute little eye wrinkle smile makes its appearance, “A lot.”

That's how Jaehyun showed his love to you throughout the trip. It would also be holding hands whenever you both could, filling up your plate with more food whenever it got empty, making you walk on the inside of the walkway, dropping you off at your room door as if it wasn't just across and a little bit of a turn to his own room with the other boys, reminding you that you're beautiful and that he loves you every day.

Just.

You love this man. So much. With all your heart.

And Jaehyun knows that. From the way you would use your palm to block the side of his face due to the wind, to how you would give him the first bite of your ice cream, reminding him to put more sunscreen and applying it to his face every so often, to the way you sweetly kissed him on the lips as you both rested for the night.

He loves you. So much. With all his heart.

He managed to prove to you that every single day for the past two years you were friends, the past year and a half when he developed a crush on you, and the last year ever since you confessed your feelings to him back after him.

But you see, it's just unavoidable that you would still have those times alone when you would look at your body and feel self-conscious about it. You're human after all. It's normal to have a drop in confidence sometimes but the stereotype of girls in summer with their tanned skin, humongous sunglasses and revealing bikini got to you sometimes.

Your boyfriend is a godsend. It's no secret that girls would crush on him and the boys want to be him. I mean, with that kind heart, sexy brain (and body) and handsome visuals? Seriously, what did you do in your past life to receive this much love from a single person?

"You're not changing?"

Snapping out of your daze from your messy luggage, you could see your three friends all in their own choice of swimsuits and bikinis under their beach towels and robes. Seoyoon stares at you worriedly through her pink sunglasses.

"Um." You try your best to show a genuine smile, "I'll be there, just trying to swallow down that heavy lunch. You guys go on ahead."

You would be stupid if you thought they would believe that. Six years of friendship with a punt lie like that? Absolutely not. But they didn't question you further as you just bit your lower lip, feeling your confidence drop down once more. They know you just wanted to be alone after telling them that you felt sick and that you ate so much after lunch.

This is the part of summer that you hate.

As much as summer does hold a soft spot in your heart, sometimes the reminder that the sun is made out of fire literally made your head hot due to the overthinking that you always did somewhere along the way before you stepped into any type of swimsuit. 

Deciding to succumb to your thoughts for a little bit, you sit down on the edge of the bed in defeat. You look out to see the sun's circumference not too far away from kissing the edge of the ocean and you could feel yourself starting to cry as you tried to push your dark thoughts away.

"Come on." You pleaded with yourself to pick up a swimsuit, any swimsuit, so that you can go meet with the others and watch the sunset together by the beach before you would all need to pack up and go back to reality tomorrow, "Please…" You whimper in desperation.

The balls of your feet step onto the side rail of the bed and you begin to sob, your arms wrapping your abdomen tightly in frustration. The water runs straight down from your eyelashes to your thighs and those droplets eventually make their own path from there as well.

You want to see the sunset as the beach water splashes and hugs your lower body. You want to see the sunset with your friends and your boyfriend together as you maybe do a little water fight against each other. You want to see the sky turn its bright colours to darker hues that signal younger children to turn their devices off and go to sleep. 

You want to do all that so badly.

You released all your pent-up feelings through your tears and the cawing seagulls constantly reminded you that you were running out of time as the circle in the sky would eventually just sink and it would not stop or wait for anyone or anything. You managed to be in a swimsuit on the other previous days. So why now? When this whole little "let's see the sunset together in the water" was your idea. Why? Why why why---

You shouldn't have eaten so much in the last few days, feeling the difference in your stomach but also outside through your own eyes. So still with these burning thoughts and blurry vision, you just close your eyes, shove your hands into your suitcase, and take the first cold elastane fabric in your palms and change into it. Throughout your trip, you would plan your outfits with the help of the full body mirror that was placed behind the door, taking selfies with your friends as you all pulled funny faces together. 

This is the only outfit that the mirror didn't see and the camera did not have save, and you didn’t think anything or anyone could change that. Quickly, you grab an oversized shirt, pulling it over your body to quickly realise that it's one of Jaehyun’s that you stole. You chuckle between your ragged gasps for air, sitting down on the bed again to continue your cries for a bit more. Before you can even hug your body once more, the knock on the door makes you whip your head backwards towards it.

"Bubs? Are you okay?"

You whimper at the familiar voice behind the door and you shake your head, not trusting your ability to answer verbally. Of course, the door isn't transparent and Jaehyun himself is only human too and understandably, your lack of response only makes him worry more.

"Hey…I'm going in alright?" The door clicks open with that and you hurriedly wipe any last bit of tears on your face, running your wet palms along the clothing that covers half of your thighs. You still couldn’t help your sniffles though and it was enough to have the smile on Jaehyun’s face and his soft steps to change quickly, “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?”

You only shook your head in response, your fists clenched the shirt in frustration as you began to drown in your own thoughts as well. Jaehyun kneels down in front of your downcasted head and if you looked up, you would be able to see the sad smile, the way his eyes gaze at you with patience and love. Carefully, his hand reaches out to your now-white fists. His fingers lay on the back of your palm while his palm lays on your knuckles, his thumb soothing the exposed sides of your pointer finger.

He made his presence to you with small, gentle steps from there: tucking your hair behind your ears, making a joke about how he thought he lost the shirt you were wearing, and letting out a harmonious chuckle when you responded to his joke. With time, he even manages to let your hands go off his now crinkled shirt, holding both your hands instead.

"I'm sorry." Is the first word you said when you broke the silence. 

Pouting at that, Jaehyun leans forward to kiss your tired knuckles, "Don't be. You haven't done anything wrong."

"I have…" You whisper guiltily, "We missed the sunset right?"

"Hey, don't you think about that right now, okay?" He shakes his head at your worries, "That's not important. What's important is why you were crying alone and feeling sad about something."

"I'm just---" You sigh exasperatedly. Your eyes haven't met Jaehyun, just taking in the way your hands were between his. The changes in your physical appearance made you so weak and frustrated, "I just don't feel good about my body and you're literally so perfect and I just can't keep up with how perfect you ar---"

"Stop, don't say that about yourself." He lets go of your hands, scooting over and straightening his back. You close your eyes, sniffling once again as you feel your boyfriend's hands cup your cheek, lifting your messy face to him. He wipes the rest of the tears that escape from your eyes with his thumbs, leaning to press kisses on both your eyelids in an attempt to ground you back. 

You open your eyes to see the love hearts that swirl around his eyes freely, the crease between his eyebrows and the somewhat serious face he has on. 

"He's mad at me…" and you bit your lip to contain your assumptions to yourself, scared that Jaehyun would affirm it and want that could result, "Please don't leave me."

"I wo---"

"I'll make myself look better in every way possible, just please give me time."

"Bubs, what are you talking about?" Jaehyun shakes his head at your rant while his head tries to pick up the pieces together to make a sort of confusion, "You're perfect as you are. Don't ever change yourself for anyone. Including me."

"But those girls are so pretty, Jaehyun and you would look so much better with them. Or maybe with me if I was somewhere on their lev---"

"Please look at yourself the way that I see you through my eyes." It was soft, almost like a hush. But you catch the way his lips move when you go on a tangent and you stop yourself from going further.

Jaehyun stands up, making you stand up as well and brings you in for a hug, his hand behind your head and the other around your waist. You let out the rest of your tears on his chest, punching him lightly while your palm pushes your stomach in frustration.

Jaehyun doesn't care about your punches to his chest but he immediately catches your other hand, pulling it away to the side of your body. His hand wraps itself around your wrist tightly, stopping you from pulling it back, "You're gorgeous." His hold on your body tightens as he recites the words that you said to him a few days ago through the latest video chat you both had, "I promise."

"Jaehyun…"

"I don't care about other girls. Who cares about them? When I have such a gorgeous girlfriend inside and out and bonus for me, loves me for who I am?" Jaehyun puts a small distance between his chest and your face, gazing down at you and planting a kiss on your forehead, "Wait here for a bit?"

You nod at the question and he leaves to go to the bathroom. While he left, your eyes went back to the view outside the window and you could predict how much time had passed as the circumference of the sun started to really make contact with the ocean. The guilt settles in again and you curse yourself for ruining the last group event of the whole trip. 

But before you could really drown in the darkness again, Jaehyun stumbles out of the bathroom and you gasp at his wet hair and the darker spots on his shirt due to the water. You walk over to him, your mouth moving in different shapes though no voice was heard.

Jaehyun chuckles at the way you retrieved a towel and laid it on top of his head, beginning to dry his brown hair with circular motions, "Thank you." He takes the towel with one hand, continuing the motions himself while his other arm snakes around your waist to pull you back to his chest.

You rest your chin on his left pectoral, observing the little curls of his hair starting to make its appearance and you smile fondly at how it would disappear underneath the towel and reappear again. When Jaehyun puts the towel around his neck, you couldn't help but reach out to play with one of his curls, trapping the strands between your thumb and pointer and gently tugging it, straightening the strand until the end, only for it to retract back to its formal shape.

"Having fun there?" Jaehyun comments when you do the same action to other strands of his hair. Slowly, a joyful smile comes to your face and he feels relieved at the pretty sight, "Come here for a second."

He led you to stand in front of the mirror and you immediately turned back to hug your boyfriend, scowling at how messy you looked, "I think I just saw a ghost." You complain, hiding your face in his chest. 

"Oh?" Jaehyun gasps out dramatically, "What where? I hate ghosts but I'll protect you!" Just like before, he held you close with both of his fingers intertwining behind your back. 

You both stayed like this for a moment longer. Jaehyun's heartbeat calms you down and you exhale in contentment at the way he starts to sway from side to side slightly. The familiar scent of your shampoo, unknown to you, makes him feel the same calmness as well as he faces his insecurity head-on through the mirror.

You took notice of how Jaehyun's body felt a bit tense compared to how it was with your last hug. From the lower side angle, you can see the way that his jaw tenses at the look that the mirror is giving him, gulping at his own reflection. Turning your body around to face the mirror, still within his hold, you ignore how much you hate your own reflection, staring at your boyfriend's eyes instead.

Too deep in his thought, you rest your forearms on top of his, this time your palms on top of his like how he did before, "Love your hair, Jae."

You can see the slight flinch when your voice pulls him back to reality. You blush when he dips his chin down to your shoulder, whispering his own words to your ears, "Love your body, bubs."

The mirror showed the couple's full body, including the parts of themselves that they each hated the most. But the mirror also showed the both of them together as they embraced and basked in each other's love, reminding the other that their insecurities were valid but that they still love the other the same way. 

You realise that when Jaehyun washed out his hairspray, using a towel to dry his hair to make his natural hair come back instantly. You realised once again that Jaehyun is truly in love with you, so patient and so kind with your journey and the smile that grew on your lips which each realisation made Jaehyun blush and bury his face onto the crook of your neck.

You remind yourself internally at this moment, as you face yourself straight into the mirror, "I'm enough and I'm gorgeous." And the deep inhale of the cold but warming air that enters your lungs, untangles Jaehyun's hands and with no pressure, places itself on your clothed stomach. He presses a kiss on the underside of your jawline, whispering sweet nothings to you.

You turn your head to face him this time, not through the mirror, the tips of your noses together, your eyes closed and your mind at peace, "Thank you."

"No, thank you." A shake of his head and a kiss on your lips, "For loving me and treating me like I’m perfect."

“You’re perfect in my eyes.”

“Took the words right out of my mouth.”

You were able to watch the upper half of the sunset with your friends at the beach. Seoyoon, Lyla and Sua could see the tranquillity on your face and they looked at each other, sending nods, knowing that you were fine and doing okay now. Just as you wished, you were able to fully feel the salty water around your entire body, leaving the oversized shirt somewhere on the big volume of sand behind you.

All of you know that this trip was way better than you had expected. It would be a trip that you would talk about and look back on for the rest of your life. It's a summer memory that you will hold on to not only because all your hard work in your jobs paid off, or your first trip with all your friends and boyfriend without supervision, or how Jaehyun loves you dearly.

This summer taught you that you love the people in your life right now and how fast time goes by as you surround yourself with them.

This summer gave you confidence that you will be able to go back and study more when you're back and pursue whatever it is that you want.

This summer taught you that you're enough as you are and that you should be kinder towards every part of yourself, to treat your body for going through all the hardships that life has given you.

This summer also made you fall in love with Lee Jaehyun deeper and you are sure that your relationship will grow further and stronger from now on.

You can't wait for the new things you'll learn next summer but that's something for later. For now, as the sun continues to set further and you all run back to land to set up a group photo with the scene as the background, you envelop yourself within the bounds of Jaehyun's arms.

"Love you." You quickly kiss him before turning back around to pose for the camera.

"Love you more." He squishes in audibly before the camera snaps.

Oh, how you'll remember this summer.

tags: @deoboyznet 📢❤️

you: my favourite scene | tbz kim sunwoo

» ​PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x fem reader/original female character​ » TROPE/AU​: friends 2 lovers! non-idol au! (high) school au! » GENRE​: fluffy fluff, bit (?) of angst, ​sunwoo is super loving, understanding and patient, hurt and comfort » WORD COUNT: ​5562 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~20 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): heavy mentions of food, disordered eating, brief mentions of abandonment, topics on mental illness (implied depression and anxiety)

this was my first story i ever uploaded on tumblr! this gained 88 notes (8 rbs, 80 likes) and that number is still so massive to me. i remember seeing my very first like notification and i was so surprised that it happened within around 12 hours of when i first uploaded it (pretty sure it was midnight tho so i couldn't be as chaotic as i would have really been)

but here it is again!

def better grammar and punctuation (i seriously dk how i let those mistakes passed when i first uploaded it). i did do some editing, replacing dialogue/thoughts to narrative sentences because i didn't want to necessarily post a story that i wasn't proud of (and also because i wanted to keep my stories similar to the original ones before so...yeah).

please remember that all your struggles are valid and i sincerely hope that the world around you is a place full of love, hope and kindness. never feel inferior with asking for help. i believe that asking for help is one of the bravest things ever.

When your roommate texted Sunwoo as a final choice, the boy didn’t hesitate to rush over despite it being extremely early in the morning. He didn’t spare his friends a response when he logged out of the game and ended the call, sprinting over in his pyjamas and a random jacket from his hanger. He probably woke his sister up but he didn't care about the consequences at the moment.

About a year ago at the classroom, Sunwoo walked back to get his wallet, cursing to himself as he had to line up once more at the back of the line and his stomach was not having it after skipping dinner the night before. He caught your friends sighing and was incredibly frustrated at you for not taking care of your health. Sunwoo knew the situation was serious and was about to leave, holding in his anger until after school, not wanting to disturb Choi Jiyeon, his seatmate and new friend. His worries took over when her cries were louder and he approached the scene.

They were pretty much strangers at this point. School had only started for a month and they only got to know each other then. Sunwoo didn't know what took over him to approach the same group back then.

Jiyeon didn’t expect the sudden appearance of the boy, her eyes crying as she kept on denying her friend’s request to go eat something. Jiyeon loves her friends but unfortunately, they are not too understanding of her situation. So when she craned her head up to silently plead at Sunwoo through her tearful eyes, he made up an excuse as they both left the classroom. That day Jiyeon told him about her struggles and Sunwoo remembered promising to himself that he would research and stay by her side; as a seatmate.

But now the following year, Jiyeon's roommate opened the door for Sunwoo, smiling weakly as she gave an acknowledgment nod to the guest. He knocks on the familiar bedroom door before introducing himself and entering the room.

"Heard from a little birdie that you haven't eaten in a while." This situation isn't new for either of them; heck Sunwoo has seen her tearful eyes, full of tears so many times, yet it still breaks his heart to pieces whenever he gets the news from her close friends or roommates that she hasn't been eating for the past couple of days.

The first time it happened again after the day in the classroom, Sunwoo panicked and had a tunnel view to just get food in her stomach, believing that was the most important thing. He didn’t expect the next episode to occur so early and he has not researched the topic very well at that point. But as time went on, Sunwoo learnt certain signals from her, what she's comfortable with as well as to just provide her comfort in the hard time. 

When Sunwoo opens the door to the bedroom, he sees the fully covered figure under the blanket, gulping his sadness down. It’s the scene that he hates the most: You just lying down, lifelessly in bed, crying and fighting alone. You would never call him no matter how much he’s offered and it made him worry more as time passed. "Jiyeon…it's Sunwoo."

Sunwoo could see that she heard him, shuffling slightly as a reaction, "Sunwoo?" she whispered too gently for him to hear. Unlike his previous visits where she would make the effort to make eye contact with him, Jiyeon kept herself hidden as the past month, she has established her own feelings towards her friend.

Sunwoo nods even though Jiyeon can't see it. The bed sank a bit as he sat on its edge, "Is there anything that you were maybe wanting for the past few days?"

"I don't know…"

Sunwoo's heart clenches at how dry and lifeless her voice is. Before he knew it himself, Sunwoo slowly pulled down the blanket much to Jiyeon's surprise and she sat up to try and get the big fabric over again when Sunwoo pulled her weak body into a hug instead.

"You're so cold…" Sunwoo held onto Jiyeon tighter than ever, arms around her shoulders, resting his face on the crook of her neck.

Jiyeon's breath hitches at his warm breath against such an intimate place, "S-Sunwoo…" that only led him to tighten his grip on her upper body even more.

"Please let me get something for you…" He couldn’t bear seeing her suffering alone like this.

Jiyeon thought long and hard about something that she is able to put into her mouth easily, also thinking about her ability to swallow the food without feeling guilt, "I…guess I want some meat mixed with vegetables…like the ones inside of dumplings…but I don't want the dumpling skins…"

Sunwoo's face visibly lit up at the mention of the food she wanted, nodding excitedly at the request. He pulls away, smiling at Jiyeon and repeats her order once again, "Ok! I'll be back! Just stay here and I'll be rig---"

"No wait, don't go!" Before Sunwoo could fully let go of her hand that he had excitedly shaken earlier on, Jiyeon clasps her tiny hands on one of his hands, pulling him back down to the bed, "I don't want to be alone…"

"Hey, you're going to be fine." Sunwoo's expression softens again when Jiyeon looks up at him desperately and fearfully. With a soft act of comfort, he uses his other free warm hand to caress her cold cheek, "If you want me to stay, I can order delivery. Is that a better plan?"

Jiyeon nods, tears flooding her eyes at the way Sunwoo was so delicate about the whole situation. She slowly crawls over to the edge of the bed with the blanket rolled up on her hands, going closer next to Sunwoo.

The boy just observes her movements until she sits next to him, taking note of her shivering figure and pale face. Carefully taking the material from her hands, Sunwoo stands up and wraps the fabric around her shoulders, tucking the edges in to stop warmth from escaping.

To Sunwoo, Jiyeon looked like an extra adorable burrito and he couldn't help but blush profusely at the endearing sight. He bends down from his standing position, tucking stray hairs behind her ears, "Do you want me to make the call here or outside?"

"Here…" one of her hands escaped from the warm environment, "could you…hold my hand?"

"Of course, I will."

Sunwoo kept his word, giving reassuring squeezes and thumb brushes on her hand during the whole call. He tried his best to keep the food names short and concise, not wanting Jiyeon to be stressed by the whole situation. When the phone hung up, Sunwoo sat down comfortably on the floor in front of her, still holding her hand, "It'll be here soon."

A comfortable silence envelops them both as they stare into each other's eyes attentively. If she didn't read him wrong, Jiyeon could see sparks of life and happiness in him, as well as comfort and warmth in his eyes. The sight made her heart beat faster though she also worried that her crush on Sunwoo made her delusional about something that wasn't there in the first place.

When Jiyeon downcasted her gaze, she missed the way Sunwoo slightly frowned as he pouted a little, "I'm sorry…" She couldn’t finish her sentence verbally but what she wanted to really say was: sorry for wasting your time and money on me when you could be using it for other things. Why couldn’t she say it? It’s not as if Sunwoo would look down on her in any way. He would’ve done so ages ago if that was the case.

But no.

Sunwoo stayed by her with those gorgeous, patient gaze and that smooth, comforting voice. That did scare her because she fell in love with Sunwoo even more and giving her heart to someone else, is a big gamble. With that, she stayed quiet because she had a feeling that if she ever said anything, he would smile awkwardly, tap her shoulder timidly and walk away without another doubt.

"For what?" Sunwoo didn't get an answer when he realised that Jiyeon started crying, her mind filling up with horrible thoughts and ideas, "Jiyeon." He jumps up from his cross-legged position, crashing his body to hers once again, "I have no idea what you're apologising for but you haven't done anything wrong, so don't apologise."

"Sunwoo…I--" She struggled heavily to form any sentence in her head, let alone in real life. Sunwoo hushed her, cradling her face between his palms, "I just can't…"

"Can't what?" Sunwoo whispers back. Even if his tone was stable, his heart started beating fast at the possibilities behind her words. The words would have ranged from the smallest to the biggest of things and Sunwoo didn’t even want to begin to think of the possibilities. While Jiyeon only shakes her head, not answering his question explicitly, he just nods, opting to give her physical comfort like before, "I'm just going to get the food alright? It should be outside the door."

Jiyeon couldn't answer, feeling numb and tired as the tears just kept flowing down. Sunwoo himself was on the verge of tears. He recalls the day when he was late to the first day of last year when the new student became his seatmate for the school year. Sunwoo knew the moment she flashed her smile that his heart would be in deep trouble yet, he still introduced himself with an entrancing smile anyway.

"I'm not going to leave you alone." The said girl widened her eyes when she heard the slight voice crack in his sentence, seeing how tears pooled in his eyes, "I promise you that I won't. I'll be right back."

"Please come back soon." With shaky hands, Jiyeon couldn't help but cradle Sunwoo's cheek, brushing his skin with her thumb delicately.

"Close your eyes and count to forty-five. I'll be back in front of you when you open your eyes." With a nod and her voice starting, Sunwoo dashes for the door before relocating to the kitchen, washing his hands and peeling off the dumpling skins, putting them aside for him to eat later on. Putting the filling back into the container, he sits down on the floor again whilst catching his breath and when Jiyeon opens her eyes, he's surely there with a comforting smile.

Jiyeon wrapped her arms around her body tighter when Sunwoo smiled warmly at her, "You're actually back…" A lone tear fell off as she worried herself over and over again, "You came back…" 

But the thing is, Sunwoo has always come back over and over and over again.

Sunwoo frowns at the comment, feeling his heart clench at the way you were most definitely worn out from your fight. Unlike previous days when she would smile back and thank him, it seemed like there was something definitely on her mind today, "You know I'll always come back for you right?"

"Yeah…" though it felt unsure. Sunwoo wasn't sure what made her so hesitant but he couldn't help the hurt to flash against his eyes as he nodded at her words dejectedly, "I'm going to give the container to you, alright? As always, I'll sit behind you, back to back and just wait for you, okay?"

Her gut swirls with anxiety and suddenly the white, somewhat translucent takeaway container didn’t seem scary to her anymore. But the boy that held onto it while thoughtfully reciting the plan that they have always adhered to? That made her look away.

"Sunwoo, I think you should go this time…" The fear took over her and she blurted the sentence before she even knew it. All the thoughts that freely swarmed in her head suddenly collided against each other and Jiyeon bought her blanket to cover the lower part of her face.

"W-What?" With no clear answer from the girl, Sunwoo's frown deepens and he gulps in nervousness at her words, "How about if I wait outside? Hm? Is that a better plan?"

"O-Outside…?" She recalls a random day after school when they were both playing basketball together.

"Yah Kim Sunwoo!" Jiyeon fell into a fit of giggles when Sunwoo engulfed her back to his chest with his arms around her waist tight, swaying her around to keep her away from the ball, "This is foul play!"

"Whatever you say!" Sunwoo kept her in his hands for a little more, smiling brightly as the basketball bounced further away from them. When their laughs die down (though their smiles haven't), he turns Jiyeon around to face him. He grins, the corner of his lips stretching widely to the sides.

Jiyeon couldn't do the same however, the comments from her friends that she's falling in love with Sunwoo filled her head. She didn’t really know why she kept on brushing it off. Jiyeon always believed that love would come and she would always tell herself to accept the feeling. But when reality strikes, it feels like all the pep talks and preparation vanished without a trace. Nervously with wide eyes, she looked up at the mischievous boy who only looked at her with a fond smile, "Sunwoo." she whispered to him.

"Hm?" For the first time in a while, he lets one of his arms around your waist go, only for it to fix your hair up a little bit, waiting for your response. Sunwoo lets himself bask in the feeling of being close to Jiyeon, loving how physically close they could be without feeling awkward; or at least that’s how it felt to him. Undeniably, Sunwoo knows he has fallen in love with the teenage girl and though the feeling scared him, he allows himself to let go of his fears at least just this once.

"If, just if, one day I told you that I can't hang around you anymore,” Jiyeon finally looks up at his slowly concerned gaze, “what would you do?"

"What would I do?" Sunwoo crashes his eyebrows together in confusion, "Well, I mean I don't need to think about this because it'll never happen though! I'm too awesome for that!" He finishes with his widest, signature grin. 

Jiyeon laughs at the very Sunwoo-like response before continuing, "Just an ‘if’…you never know what could happen in the future."

"Well," Sunwoo didn't even want to think about it; a day where you would push him away indefinitely. He’s definitely thought about it, no doubt. Most of the situation was about how he would confess and it would ruin this friendship that he could never dream of letting go, "it'll depend on the situation but I would wait for you. If it's just during that certain time when you need immediate space, then I would wait outside for you or something. But if it's long term," His hand that was playing with your hair stops, cupping your cheek gently as he looks longingly into your eyes. 

Sunwoo knew at that point that he was indeed very much in love with Choi Jiyeon. Days of questioning have finally brought him this realisation and he smiled radiantly with the thought in his head. Jiyeon gives a confused frown but slowly starts to relax it to a smile when Sunwoo’s thumb caresses your blushed cheek softly. 

Sunwoo enjoyed this moment where it felt like you were the only ones in the world, all the surrounding noises blurred out from your attention. His thumb that rested on your cheek unknowingly moved back and forth as you enjoyed the soothing act.

Sunwoo's action made the world around Jiyeon stop momentarily. With that beautiful, deep, loving gaze, she waited, "If it's long term?"

He sighs out, "Look, I don't even want to think about the long term. But I know, and I know for sure, that I'll wait for you."

"You…will?" Jiyeon breathlessly confirms as Sunwoo nods with a small tiny smile and half-lidded eyes.

"I will. I’ll always wait for you. So don’t worry yourself over such a thought."

"Promise?" Just like little children, Jiyeon holds up her pinky between their faces, waiting for Sunwoo to link them together. 

He chuckles before sealing his words with the old ritual, "Promise."

Jiyeon squirmed at the promise that she practically forced him to make. Yet Sunwoo still kneeled before her with his hands under her smaller fingers and hands. His hands became colder by the second as his grip became just a tiny bit tighter, hopeful for a positive response.

Your response, however, cut his heart like a knife, "I think…you should just go home, Sunwoo…" 

The last class before lunchtime commences with the students waiting and hustling about the room, waiting for the teacher. Jiyeon’s seatmate talked to her friends from the row in front, telling her the menu her mother packed for lunch, and her friend responded with something similar. 

The discomfort grew too familiar for her and Jiyeon wanted nothing but for the seat to swallow her, hoping that something would protect her from hearing such words about the one thing she couldn’t stand the most at the moment. Or she wished that she could run away like she did instantly when morning break started. When the strict teacher finally came, she couldn’t be any happier at how his booming voice made the whole class quiet instantly and Jiyeon gulped down harshly as a thankful tear came out from her.

In the opposite classroom, Sunwoo clenches his phone underneath his table as his bank account balance is shown once more. He stares at the higher number, furrowing his eyebrows at the transaction made into his account. Further information shows that Jiyeon was the one who did the act and he scoffs in confusion and dumbfoundedness, “What the hell is she doing?” 

Sunwoo thought that he knew Jiyeon well: where she would go when she was happy, when she was sad or when she was struggling. But the earlier morning break proved him otherwise as he ran practically through the whole school to find you, both for the relief of seeing you as well as to ask what was in your mind the other night when you said those hurtful words to him. 

Looking to his left, where he could see the girl on the other side through the classroom windows, he sees the tired look on her face and that signature lip bite that she always does when she's in a hard time. The class was about to end in three minutes and Sunwoo was going crazy about how impatient he was to run into the other room. He made sure his headphones were connected to his phone, turning up the volume a little bit to hear that it was connected properly without being caught by the teacher in the act.

When class is dismissed, he bumps and squishes through people from both classes to a desk in the middle of the class. Girls were entranced with his presence and the boys were greeting the social boy. However, Sunwoo had a really small tunnel vision, only running to a downcasted figure that when approached closer, was just her trying to hold in the cries with her hands on her ears to block out the noises.

Sunwoo comes around to the side of the desk, his phone and the neck of his headphones in one hand. Amongst the still bustling area, he’s surprised at how much he can hear Jiyeon's shaking even though it actually was really quiet. That made him realise how tense and angry his facial expression would’ve been, his heart softening when he heard her struggles.

Carefully, Sunwoo stood behind Jiyeon, picked a random song and tucked it away in his pocket. His left-hand wraps around her tense wrist softly, lowering it down to her lap, whispering words of comfort before engulfing her left ear with his headphones. He did the same with the right ear afterwards, carefully observing how her body slowly relaxes at the tune.

Sunwoo thought that he knew Jiyeon well: in this situation, he could relax that he actually did. 

He waits patiently for her to come back to the present, sitting down on the table directly behind hers as he watches the song change from his phone screen for the next fifteen minutes. Sunwoo feels the pain once again: the pain that he couldn’t take away as he could do nothing but wait for her to acknowledge his presence. Upon last night’s events, Sunwoo was contemplating just leaving his phone on her desk and walking away as he didn’t know how glad she would be with him near her. The thought doubled the pain in Sunwoo’s heart and he decided to click the phone to sleep. Before he could put it on Jiyeon’s desk, however, her body visibly relaxed and Sunwoo widened his eyes and froze, knowing that she’s fully calmed down now. 

Jiyeon’s crying eventually ceases, opening her eyes with a final sniff. Usually, when she did let the light back into her eyes, Sunwoo would be in front of her, flashing that beautiful smile of his that she had come to fall in love with. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she didn’t see the usual scene. Her hands come up to both sides of the headphones, pulling them down to rest the headband on her neck shakily. She knew all too well that even when she was crying with her eyes tightly shut, it was Kim Sunwoo. 

It was Kim Sunwoo that came to her rescue and made her feel safe once again.

It was Kim Sunwoo who waited for her to calm down when everyone knew how much he cherished his break time and food.

It was Kim Sunwoo who made her fall in love all over with him once again. 

Jiyeon just stared down at her undecorated nails, pretending to find something interesting about it. In reality, she was just biting her lips, shutting her eyes back and forth in an internal battle to look back at the figure behind her. Her shoulders slumped unconsciously as she recalled her passive actions to Sunwoo the day before, basically kicking him out of her apartment. Jiyeon mulled over her actions the whole night, knowing well that it was so unfair that she pushed Sunwoo out when he most probably rushed over to help.

“Thank you.” Jiyeon says clearly to the person behind her. Sunwoo heard her gratitude clearly, nodding softly still with an incomprehensible face as he just looked at his shoes below him. Noting no response from him, Jiyeon twists her upper body back to see the dejected Sunwoo. Her heart clenches at how he didn’t make the effort to even look up, wishing even more now that he would at least flash her a smile. But that is too much to ask after what happened and Jiyeon knew that, “Sunwoo, I---”

“Why did you send me money?” His tone wasn’t welcoming at all, icy and cold as if he hated the girl. The students that were in the classroom were no more when they heard his tone, quietly packing up and walking away, not wanting to get involved in the drama; though of course, they’ll talk about it outside the classroom.

“I-I just…” Jiyeon stammers, gulping her nerves down. She notices how Sunwoo clenched his fists. The one that held his hand was clenching so hard that his phone was waiting for him to confirm if he wanted to shut the device down, “For delivery last night…”

“You’ve never paid me back. Why now?”

“O-Oh..I can transfer more. I’m sorr---”

Sunwoo scoffs, his whole face grimacing in anger, “That’s not what I meant.” His fiery orbs finally met down with Jiyeon’s red ones, her tears still escaping here and there. All Sunwoo wanted to do at the moment was wipe Jiyeon’s remaining tears, cupping her cheek and pulling her warmth to him. But not now. It’s not the right time, “Jiyeon, I don’t understand why you pushed me away. Of course, if you need space that’s fine. I would always give it to you if you need it, without a doubt or question. In fact, if you need it right now then I’ll leave. But that’s not the only thing you did. You transferred me money and you think that I’m asking for you to pay after all those times?” He stopped for a second, a million sentences running in his head that he rehearsed last night alone in the confused darkness.

“I just…haven’t been able to pay it back.” Jiyeon didn’t know what else to say. She adjusted her position, turning her body so that the left side of her body was facing him, her foot hitting the rear chair leg. Sunwoo didn’t miss how her small fists were now side by side together on her thighs as she stuttered to find some words, “S-So…yeah.”

“Yeah?” After a short time to finally breathe after his long rant, Sunwoo managed to ground himself back, his emotions no longer heated. But now, his heart weighed heavily at everything between him and Jiyeon, “Don’t pay me back.” Sunwoo’s voice wavered, turning his head to the side, trying to control his emotional state, “I did all those things because I care for you, Jiyeon. I care about you so much that it physically hurts me when you’re crying alone, fighting alone like that. You never let anyone in and although I want to say that ‘it’s alright’, I also want to say that it’s not. You have me. Jiyeon, you have me. But you just pushed me away.” 

But it’s hard, isn’t it? To show the side of yourself to someone that you desperately try to hide. It becomes even harder when you try to hide it from someone you like, “I think…” Jiyeon whimpers at the words she’s about to say, contemplating to say it. Is she really going to push him away like this? Will she ever be able to let go of the fact that Sunwoo won’t be her friend anymore? Will she be able to let go of Kim Sunwoo in general? Her heart beats for Sunwoo but her mind is telling her that with all the love Sunwoo receives, why would he ever pick her?

Sunwoo raises himself off the table with the intention of walking away and giving Jiyeon some space. Looking down at the top of Jiyeon’s head, he couldn’t help but blurt out a bit of his feelings, “You don’t know this but I’ve never had a crush on someone before.”

The sudden new topic made Jiyeon lift her head up to face Sunwoo. Unexpectedly to her, Sunwoo was already looking down at her with absolute adoration when he said his words. Jiyeon gasps lightly when Sunwoo starts to lightly tear up, “S-Sunwoo.” Forgetting her earlier thoughts, her body reacted first, standing up to be in front of him, “Hey…why are you crying?” Testing the waters very carefully, Jiyeon slowly raises the back of one of her hands to wipe his cheek.

Sunwoo, of course, lets her do so. He takes notice of her warm hands that completely contrasted yesterday, feeling comforted as he lets out a relieving breath and a small chuckle. Both of her hands were resting on Sunwoo’s cheek so gently, with her thumb wiping motion on his cheek, that he felt like his whole body was being wrapped comfortably by her. He just kept on staring at Jiyeon’s worried expression and the way her lips were throwing out words of comfort, “How am I supposed to ever walk away from you when I’m so in love with you?”

Jiyeon flinches at the sudden confession and before she could back away, Sunwoo quickly places his palms over hers back to his cheeks firmly. His eyes look weak due to his own tiredness from not being able to sleep soundly yet full of strong love for the woman in front of him, “W-What did you just say?”

Exhaling softly at the way Jiyeon looks so unsure, Sunwoo repeats his main point differently, “I’m confessing my feelings for you.” Her once confused parted lips, found each other once again as she searched Sunwoo’s eyes and all over his face for any lies, “I’m not playing with you, Choi Jiyeon. I can see the reluctance in your face.”

“Sunwoo, you have girls lining up for you,” Jiyeon whispers to him, her tone convincing him that something is wrong. “Waiting for you. Girls who are so much easier to be with. Girls that won’t push you away. Girls that won’t make you run out of the house at midnight. Girls that are…not a burden.” In denial, Jiyeon shakes her head, “You don’t lik---”

“Is that what you think you are to me?” Sunwoo counters her calmly, “A burden?”

“I’ve always been a burden all my life. Why do you think my parents left me?” Jiyeon lost all the strength in her arms, and the only thing holding her hands on Sunwoo’s cheek was all his effort, “My grandparents are loving but their lives would’ve been so much easier if I was nev---”

“Mine wouldn’t,” Sunwoo interjected. Whatever it was that she was about to say, it was something to put down her self-worth and he couldn’t handle such things coming out of her. Lowering both of their linked hands, Sunwoo intertwines Jiyeon’s hands with his, “You don’t know how much energy you give me every day. How much motivation you give me throughout the day. How loved and cared for you make me feel.” He shrugs, ignoring the loud beating of his heart, “But now I guess I’m finally telling you.”

The apprehension in Jiyeon’s eyes made Sunwoo comfortingly smile, hoping to ease some of her anxiety. Just like what Jiyeon did towards him earlier, he lets go of one of her hands to rub his thumb on her cheek. It was silent as they were comforting and seemingly communicating with each other through their loving gaze at each other. And so when Jiyeon lets out a small smile, Sunwoo beams brighter than ever, “I like you, Kim Sunwoo.”

“Then date me. Date me and let me love you back.”

Jiyeon blushes at the straightforward statement. Sunwoo flutters his eyes shut as she brushes the hair away from his face, “You won’t regret this?” she breathes the question softly.

Sunwoo shook his head, gently placing his forehead on Jiyeon’s, “Not if you won’t.” He responded in a similar manner. 

“Sunwoo.” Jiyeon turns to her side and glares at her boyfriend who has been staring at her for the last three minutes. Not only did it distract her studies but the way that he looked at her so mesmerisingly made it hard for her to even breathe at this rate, “Stop looking at me.”

Sunwoo kept an innocent smile, pushing his face further forward, pressing a quick peck on her lips, “Why?” He playfully asks.

“You said you were hungry! Go get some food!” Jiyeon pushes Sunwoo away by the shoulder, the male dramatically pushing himself back, “Don’t be dramatic!”

“Fine fine, I’ll go.” Sunwoo drags out the last syllable in the sentence, frowning and slumping on his chair a little bit before standing up with his phone, “Do you…want anything?” Jiyeon could only smile softly as usual, stopping her vigorous typing on her computer at his question.

It’s been more than three years since their relationship started and Sunwoo has been so patient in her journey that every single time he carefully asks the question, Jiyeon could feel her heart melt and fall in love with the boy more and more each time, “Give me a kiss before you go.” She puckered her lips to him, tilting her head up.

Blushing furiously at the unexpected request, Sunwoo buffered before leaning down to hug his lips with her familiar ones. His hand was on Jiyeon’s nape, softly holding her head in this intimate moment. Jiyeon melts even further with his attentive actions, smiling widely in the kiss. Before completely pulling his hand away, Sunwoo brushes her hair out from her forehead to press another kiss. Leaning away to face each other with rosy-tinted cheeks, he asks once again, “Anything else?”

“Make sure you have a safe trip there and back.” Jiyeon presses a kiss on Sunwoo’s cheek before ushering him to go. But he didn’t do anything as he just kept on staring at his girlfriend who reflected the same glimmering look of love in her eyes towards him. Sunwoo’s hand, which still didn’t leave her nape, prevented her from turning away, “ Kim Sunwoo, stop looking at me! I'm not that nice to look at…"

It wasn’t Sunwoo’s plan to stare at Jiyeon for that long. He’s just naturally attracted and so in love with her that he didn’t realise that she was the only thing that he would search for in a whole hall of people, with different colours and different noises. Choi Jiyeon finally let her walls down as they overcame life’s challenges together hand in hand. Kim Sunwoo couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her. "You will always be my favourite scene to look at."

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

[02:04] | tbz lee jaehyun | hyunjae

» ​PAIRING: tbz lee jaehyun (hyunjae) x fem reader​ » TROPE/AU​: friends 2 lovers (mentioned from backstory!), non-idol au! established relationship au! marriage au! » GENRE​: fluffy fluff, slight angst (?), ​husband hyunjae, he's super patient and understanding, hurt/comfort, wedding vows (it's so cute, i love it) » WORD COUNT: ​3743 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~14 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): mentions of pregnancy, insecurities, mentions of a broken family/childhood (reader's side), proofread once

my second timestamp story! thank you for all the love on the first one! (pst! it's sunwoo! 🦝) hopefully, this one lives up to your expectations! (if there are any uwu). sorry for my weird, unscheduled, random posting times > <

shoutout to my mum who (i bet) went through a lot to make sure i would grow up well. thank you for always reminding me that you don't regret having me and loving me with all your being. love you mumma! 💗

navi/masterlist!!

You remembered when you tucked yourself into bed alone after reminding Jaehyun to come to bed soon. He was so close to finishing his work that you didn’t want to force him out of his zone, understanding that he would feel more peaceful if he finished it sooner even if it meant ruining his internal body clock a little bit for it.

Opening your eyes and taking a deep breath in the calming darkness, you smiled at the arm that rested across your now flat stomach. During your whole pregnancy stages, especially when that wicked pregnancy pillow put a physical barrier between you and your loving husband, he would at least reach out and hold your hand (or particularly your stomach bump), a huge downgrade from how his chest would completely be on your back and he hushes you asleep with his soft snores. 

You knew as soon as you turned your head to the right that Jaehyun managed to finish his work, a neutral smile on his face as compared to the slight pout and the subtle crease between his eyebrows as he sometimes grunts in his sleep from the past few days. An affectionate gaze falls upon your eyes when Jaehyun grunts and scoots over to your side of the bed, his unconscious mind telling him to move closer to his wife after he throws the pillow away to the other side of the room in excitement as soon as your new family arrived home three days ago. You chuckle at the way his right hand past the top of your stomach to hook your waist and pull you closer to him. Now half awake, Jaehyun made himself comfortable by burrowing his nose and lips into the crook of your neck and you immediately looked up towards the ceiling to let him do so.

A satisfied hum comes out from the man beside you, “This is nice.” He brushes the warm skin of your neck with his colder nose and his soft lips press multiple kisses from your jawline to your right shoulder.

“Jae.” You chuckle at his playful nature, “Go back to sleep, hm? You have work tomorrow.”

Jaehyun groans at the grim reminder. He’s been at home ever since you came back home, using up some of his leave days to take care of you and your newborn child. He was about to use it all but you stopped him, convincing him that you’re able to take care of yourself and your child, moreover to save those days in case a ‘real’ emergency does occur. Every day and every moment, you look at your husband who you treasure so much and you can’t help but think about how much you love this man with all your heart, mind and soul.

“Don’t remind me of that, bubs.” Finally opening his eyes, he relied on the subtle moonlight that seeped through your curtains and looked at your side view with ‘that’ gaze. 

‘That’ gaze that reminds you every day that you’re worth it for you. ‘That’ gaze that he kept even after ten years of meeting each other. ‘That’ gaze that was plastered on his face when he went down on one knee to propose to you. ‘That’ gaze that was present when he read his wedding vows and wiped the tears on your face when you read yours. ‘That’ gaze (mixed with immense happiness and excitement) when you told him you were pregnant. 

It holds many meanings and you were sure that the list would continue, building from all the blessed experiences so far.

Only chuckling at the way that he pouts cutely at you, you turn your body to face him, creating a small gap between you both as you press a peck on his lips, “Thank you for using your leave days to take care of us.”

“Of course, I would.” Jaehyun shook his head slightly to validate his point, “You both are my whole world. I can’t afford to lose you or baby.” It was the way that your eyes slightly pooled with tears that he replaced the pout and shushing the soft whimpers that left your now shaky lips, “Hey…what’s wrong?”

Your once small cries amplified drastically and Jaehyun’s eyes widened in shock, quickly pulling you into his embrace. He slips his left hand under your neck, bringing your tear-stricken face into his chest as you sob in his arms. Jaehyun comfortingly whispers sweet nothings into your ear, patting your head and pressing occasional kisses on your forehead. You stayed wordless for a while, enjoying the company and how close your entire body could be now after you gave birth.

“Catch your breath. I’ll be right here.” Jaehyun reminds you between your tired gasps for air, “I’ll always be here next to you, waiting for you, loving you more and more with each passing day.”

You couldn’t do anything but just nod, your heart melting at the sincere words, “I’m scared.”

“Of what, bubs?”

“Like,” You started, audibly voicing out the thoughts that have been swarming and eating you alive inside and out, “what happens if I mess up?”

It isn’t the first time that you had this kind of conversation. The very first time was when the adrenaline from your system was drained after announcing that positive pregnancy test to Jaehyun. You voiced out your worries as an upcoming parent, worried that you would accidentally pass down your problems, anxiety and worries to your child. Out of everything you want the most in the world, all you want is for your children to grow up without your traumas and problems affecting them because that’s not the kind of life that they deserve. Of course, that’s unrealistic. Children are indeed a slight depiction of their parents and how they would act around other people outside the family says a lot about how their parents raised them.

You can just imagine a situation where your anxiety takes over, you crouch down to be eye level with your extremely young child, giving them a lecture about what they should or shouldn’t do, extending that talks to both extreme sides of ‘what if’s and how they should just be more careful, less daring and---

“Jae, promise me that you’ll make sure she doesn’t grow up like me.” It was a desperate plea, almost as if you would walk out of their lives in the next second. The anxiety completely took over your body as you clenched Jaehyun’s shirt in your fist as a physical response, looking up at him desperately and Jaehyun’s eyebrows crashed together, “She doesn’t deserve that, Jae. Those silent cries, hating everyone around me, feeling like no one loved me and wanting to just end---”

“Don’t.” It was stern yet it still held a lot of patience and love. Jaehyun smiles sadly at the words that he has heard multiple times but even so, he would never stop reminding you of all the things he loves about you. He would never stop hugging you, holding your body and pulling you towards him, giving you all his love and company, “Don’t say that about yourself when you’re the reason why I wake up happy every day, bubs.”

“But Jae---”

“You know,” He whispers into the silent yet wavering night. Jaehyun takes a deep inhale of the air, tilting his head to rest his chin on the top of your head, “I was so scared of losing you as time went on.”

You calmed down, shutting your eyes as you focused on his heartbeat to pull you back to the present time. Jaehyun just smiles at the slightly open door of your room and he reminds himself of his newborn child on the other side of their bedroom door. When you hummed confusingly at his words, your husband just nodded, “Why were you scared?”

“Well,” If it wasn’t for the fact that your face was hidden into his collarbone, you would be able to see the blushing mess that Jaehyun was. A deep red blush was on his face, spreading to his ears; but you did feel the warmth on his neck as you kissed his skin delicately and it made Jaehyun more of a mess, “of course if it didn’t work out and you didn’t feel the same way, it would become awkward and even though we were such close friends, I knew that if I was rejected, I wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with you anymore. I really could’ve lost you.”

You never really knew this about Jaehyun. Whenever you asked about the day that he confessed to you to be his girlfriend, he only talked about his plans and how your mutual friends all pushed him to confess to you. You also told him about how the same mutual friends pushed you to confess back to him, yet you were a coward that you became used to telling yourself that if you ever ended up with Jaehyun, it would only hinder him in life; because who would love a broken girl when they could love a perfect one instead?

And so when he confessed, asked for a chance and promised to love you dearly after two years of mutual pining, you didn’t realise that time flew by so quickly that on the sixth year when Jaehyun kneeled and asked for your hand in marriage two years ago, a sudden hit of ‘reality’ (or so you called it) crashed into you. 

You really did find love when you thought for the longest, most tiring and hardest times when you didn’t think anyone would love you as you are. Seriously, how could anyone love you when you were still so stuck between believing and convincing yourself that you are enough? 

“I knew I had to take a chance,” Jaehyun continues his thoughts, “because when I closed my eyes and realised that if I didn’t at least try to make you mine, you might just completely slip from my life. Selfishly as well, I didn’t want to see you smiling in another person’s arms and kissing that person every time you wake up and go to sleep.”

The thought of you two doing just that ever since you moved in together five years ago suddenly made you blush and you couldn’t help but let out a string of complaints. Jaehyun just laughs (and quietly lets out a sigh of relief) when you finally release his shirt, wrapping your small hands around his bigger build instead, “I’m sorry that I didn’t realise that you went through all that.”

“No, it’s alright.” He reassures you again for the nth time in the last hour, “I have you now. You are all I ever wanted.” Pulling away and reaching to cup your wet cheeks, his thumbs swipe your almost dry cheek, offering you that familiar warmth that only he could give, “It’s all worth it in the end.”

“Really?” Another tear managed to slip out of your eyes and you couldn’t help but stare at him apprehensively as the devil inside your mind managed to manipulate your thinking, “I’m such a high-maintenance person, Jae…I really wouldn’t blame you if you wake up one day and decide to just…” He shakes his head throughout your small speech, knowing the similar words that you would say to him once in a while, “leave…” It came out quieter than you thought, maybe because he already knew anyway, hence saying it again and again, the red-horned creature in your mind rejoices as your childhood traumas reminded you of how worthless you are to the world.

Usually at this time, Jaehyun would rebut your words immediately but the silence had your heart dropping and for a while, you thought that you had taken the words out of his mouth. Jaehyun kept his tired stare and suddenly you were aware of your dry mouth as you waited for any sort of words from your husband. He removes the hand that was on your cheek, reaching behind to grab his device from the bedside table, “Hold on, okay?”

For a second, you really thought this was it for the both of you. During these moments of much-needed comfort, Jaehyun has always given you his undivided attention but now as the blue light reflects on his squinting eyes, you couldn’t help but let the tears flow down your eyes once again. Did he finally give up on me? Were the only thoughts that swarmed your mind as you watched how his thumb scrolled and colours reflected on the smooth surface of his dewy skin, “Jae?” Time made you desperate for a response and you were about to clench on his shirt again when he let out a small ‘aha’ and played the video on his phone.

You recognised the scene on his phone immediately without looking. The familiar scene, cheers, whooping and excitement radiating off the background noises had you sobbing again. Jaehyun sets the volume, puts his phone back on the bedside table and gives you his attention again, “My mum was sorting videos on her phone when she came across this and sent it to me.” He presses a comforting kiss on your lips and calms your shaking body, “I’m sure you remember this right?”

You just nod and Jaehyun pulls your face into his chest once again, letting the sound from the video consume you both into your worlds.

“As soon as you stepped into those classroom doors, all eyes were on you and undoubtedly mine too.” You were already starting to tear up just from the first few sentences, “Ah…I only just started…” You scanned your next words, just sniffling from the longer sentences that you didn't know how to not cry to while the audience let out words of encouragement and small laughs. 

Your soon-to-be husband steps towards you, kissing the side of your head, “Should I go first?”

“Do you mind?” You laugh, feeling embarrassed. 

“Not at all.” Jaehyun takes out his paper from his suit, taking the microphone from you, “I already knew this would happen guys.” He announced to the audience and you rolled your eyes jokingly, “Ok…I’ll start.”

You knew very well that your eye makeup was most probably ruined and you looked some sort of a mess at the moment so you couldn’t help but stare down at the floor. Jaehyun gives you a quick kiss on the crown of your head, swooning the audience with his romantic gesture making him chuckle before clearing his throat and starting his vows.

“I remember the day I walked into that classroom on my first day of school. No doubt, I didn’t want to be there. Not just at that school or at that classroom: I just didn’t want to be in Seoul. The sudden move because of my dad’s work made me leave all the memories I had in Incheon in a month and as an innocent young child who was already happy with everything, I didn’t want to leave.

Alas, even my mother told me we had to go and that’s when I knew that moving was inevitable. School work was already hard as it was and I had to move to a big city where I knew no one, having to start all over again from the ‘Hi. My name is Lee Jaehyun. I hope we’ll get along well.’ really made me reach the peak of my mood swings during puberty.”

Jaehyun alternates his eye contact between you and the audience who reacts to the groom with happiness, and laughter as some of his closest friends give him encouraging, funny body language. He points them out and the said friends complain whilst the audience just laughs at the group of boys on the side of the stage. However, it was how you finally raised your head and laughed along that made Jaehyun join in as well.

“For the first few weeks, I didn’t make an obvious effort to fit in. As you know, I joined clubs and did after-school activities. Studying was still my priority at this point but even that became so mundane and boring that I crashed and burnt out after a while. But maybe, the burnout was just what I needed because that was how I first met you. Had I not cried in the corner of the library in the ironically ‘health and wellbeing’ section, would you have even spoken to me? Would you have crouched down and tapped on my shoulder to ask if I was okay? Would you have sat down next to me silently as you read your book, waiting for me to answer your question?

The answer is: yes. Or at least I would like to believe so.

Why? Because no one will fully ever understand how much I love you. Maybe if it wasn’t that day in the library, I would’ve met you later. How much later, nobody knows and nobody will ever know because I’m about to marry that girl who made my day so much better in the library. But what I do know is that no matter when, where, why or how we would’ve met, I would have still fallen in love with your smile, your pout, your laugh, and the way you cutely complain about how I mess up your bubble tea order,” Jaehyun gives you a cheeky smile and you just scoff with a smile on your face, “the way you would cry in my arms when you had a bad day, the way you would drop everything when I have a bad day, the way you would try your best to stay awake until I’m done with my other priorities. 

But bubs, I hope you’ll always know that you’ll forever be my first, most top priority.

Even as we fight, cry and shout at each other words that we don’t mean, I hope you’ll always be able to go to sleep thinking that I’ll still love you. I’ll still be right by your side when your insecurities come by and pass. I’ll always remind you that you’ll always be enough no matter what you do. Your best will always be enough and I hope I’ll always be that person who can be your safe, happy place.”

No doubt now that you’re sobbing and when you look at your parents sitting down not far from the stage, your heart does clench a bit as you’re reminded of your childhood. Seeing them cry over Jaehyun’s words does seem a little bit strange to you as they never really minded your words whenever you were struggling with life. But then you remind yourself of what Jaehyun said to you a few seconds ago.

“I know for sure that you’ll always be enough for me.” Jaehyun continues, taking your mind off your parents as he looks at you understandingly, “I love you and I know I’ll continue to love you until the day I take my last breath. I’ll take care of you even when you’re not sick or feeling well, cherish all of you and be there for you even after death because I love you so much, sweetheart.”

The recording ended there and Jaehyun relished in the way that your body stopped shaking, your arms around his waist securely and your breathing back to normal. He knows instantly that you feel better just from those small actions. He also didn’t miss the smile that grew on your face even though you were literally cuddled up against his body, “So,” the deep whisper from your husband only made you push your face even further up his body, now burying your face into his collarbone, “I just want to tell you that she will grow up beautifully just like her mother. Also, we’ll get through this together. Parenting isn’t supposed to be a one-person job after all.”

Nodding and burrowing yourself into the crook of his neck, you appreciate the way his words reminded the devil in the back of your head as it stomps off in defeat. The words supported the angel that finally won and it replaced the red creature, kicking the red light away to replace your body with a calming, soothing feeling that soon takes over your whole body, “I love you, Jae.”

“I love you too.” The warmth of the night overpowered the chilly night and the two of you held each other so lovingly that the weight of your eyelids eventually became too heavy for you to hold. Jaehyun waits patiently until sleep fully takes over you, fighting his yawn from escaping his mouth. Quietly, he just continued to stroke your exposed waist delicately, kissing your lips one last time before reminding you once more, “Always.”

It’s all very fortunate that your mind is now at ease and that you both were able to sleep after. But parenting duties call about half an hour later when cries are heard from the other side of the house and both your eyes open instantly. You were the first one to untangle your body from Jaehyun and you looked over to your husband who was still stirring himself awake again for the second time of the night as you both sat up on the bed, “I’m sorry.” You kiss him on the lips, cradling the back of his head and pushing his chest back down on the bed, “I’ll get her. Get back to sleep, Jae.”

“No no, I’ll go.” You disapprovingly groan at your husband who managed to push his sleepiness aside and sit up once again, his head hanging down in exhaustion, “Wha---bubs.” Instantly, you pushed him back down on the bed, pulling the blanket over up until his chin.

You adamantly tell your husband to try and go back to sleep. Jaehyun fakes his nod and closes his eyes, an idea popping up in his head as he plots to joke around with his wife. When you swing your legs over to the side of the bed, ready to stand up once more, Jaehyun quickly hugs you from behind, pressing a kiss on the back of your ear where you’re the most ticklish and sensitive. 

You froze at his actions and even though his sleepy voice was still evident, you could also hear all the love that he could offer you in this world with his playful tone, “Race you there, bubs.”

Jaehyun called in sick the next day.

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

[17:58] | tbz kim sunwoo

» ​PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x gn!reader (proofread a couple of times but pls tell me if i missed something!)​ » TROPE/AU​: friends to ??, friends to strangers, friends to 'just classmates', miscommunication (?) trope, i'm sorry i have no idea how to explain this tbh..., high school au!, non-idol au! » GENRE​: angsty hurt but fluffy comfort, 'friendship' breakup (with the intention of coming back together when time is right!), they both say "i love you" to each other and it's meant to be platonic but it can be interpreted romantically, if you do interpret it romantically then mutual pining that is somewhat figured out in the end???, sunwoo is also very comforting, loving, patient and understanding to reader's own worries and trusts reader in their personal journey as they figures out their own hardships in life » WORD COUNT: 3576​ » ESTIMATED READING TIME: 13 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): hardships with past relationships with others, anxiety and fear regarding making bonds with other people, running away as a mechanism to escape reality

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

how blessed i am to have you beside me when real life doesn't work out. how blessed i am to be able to go on the main chat and just be myself. how blessed i am to be able to call you my friends. how blessed i am to be accepted by people over the internet, who ended up supporting me in one of the hardest times of my life.

i love you all. i'm sorry that i'm unable to include everyone but i hope you know that in friendship groups, everyone has an effect on one another. even if person a isn't close to person c, person b may be the reason why you're still in the same group together. we all influence each other and i love you all so much.

i'm so sorry for everything.

"So what? That's it?"

The solemn tone in his voice makes the hues of orange and pink in the sky behind him take away the beauty of the scene you both love. It seemed that even the birds that would usually sing beautifully at this time stopped as soon as you opened the door of your house, knowing well who used his entire fist to bang on your door.

Sunwoo's bangs stuck to his forehead well, showing the physical exertion that his body took to get to your house. His school blouse is half untucked and you realise that maybe he rushed out of gym class in the last period because of his mismatched buttons and how his tie wasn't around his collar properly. His eyes flared with a hint of sadness though the confusion and anger masked most of the emotion behind. Your eyes diverted down to his untied shoelace. Usually, you would scold him and he would give that annoying smile to you, shrugging his shoulders and being completely relaxed whilst answering you with a "You're going to do it for me anyways." Judging by his slumped-over school bag, you guessed that he probably threw it to your 'welcome' carpet as soon as he arrived—even though he knew that he probably wasn't considering that you've been avoiding his entire presence for a whole month.

But even when Sunwoo looks at you with that heartbroken gaze straight to your tired, cold eyes, you don't utter any words to him. The slight bounce of your head made him turn his head away, clenched fists beside his body. You also found your arms crossing around your waist, palms hooked around your figure and your fingers wrapped around your body to ground the tears that you knew would flow if you didn't keep telling yourself to 'keep it together'.

"Don't you think I deserve some kind of explanation?" 

Just from a glance at him, you note the tiredness on his face even with his furrowed eyebrows. Not once did he raise his voice at you even though you can see how he's holding back with how tense his jaw is.

"God, Sunwoo." You exclaim to him with a sarcastic laugh after, "I get that we literally became the best of friends as soon as we met two months ago but shit happens and you can't expect an explanation for everything that happens."

"Of course not!" Sunwoo's voice rises though it doesn't seem to shock you. "Shit happens, I know! But at the same time, I never thought our friendship was so weak and insignificant that you could ignore me for more than a month. I know you read my messages! The app can't show me that but I know!"

"Ok fine, I did!" You spill the truth that you've been holding back. "What are you going to do about it? They’re my messages, not yours!"

Sunwoo didn't know how to counter that. Maybe there wasn't a way to counter the statement because it's true. But you both knew that the unresponded messages were only the tip of the iceberg of why Sunwoo finally decided to confront you for your isolation from him.

"What happened?" Fragile and weak, shoulder dropping closer to the ground, "Talk to me. I'm here for you."

And he breaks. 

The tears that he only released in his bedroom were finally showing itself. He didn't think that it would be infront of you first. He thought that maybe his other friends would see it first but that one tear that escaped was the start of his waterfall. 

"You wouldn't understand." You slightly scowl at the innocent boy, forcing the words between your teeth, "I mean that wholeheartedly and not from some cliche teen romance movie shit." 

The venomous response he gets to his genuine question only makes Sunwoo frown further and he verbally starts to express the tears from his eyes. Seeing him cry and swallow down his whimpers struck a chord in your own confusing heart as well.

The truth is that you're scared. 

You're scared as hell.

You're scared of the fact that even though you met Sunwoo two months ago, you grew so fast to him.

There were days that sometimes he would understand you more than your best friend of five years.

Do you know how scary that is? 

To connect with someone so fast that sometimes all you want to do after a long day is to text them about all the minuscule things to the bigger things that would make your jaw drop.

To open that messaging app, spam him with short sentences, and feel the guilt of passing the dot beside the other messages that your other friends sent first, to just open your conversation with him first?

The confusion that you finally felt at home with someone so quickly and that you felt that when you never expected it to happen? All you ever wanted from your relationship with others was to be included.

Kim Sunwoo did just that in a span of a month compared to five years.

You would spend nights figuring out how it happened but no matter how much you thought of it, you couldn't find that one specific message and timestamp both in your phone or memories of how you would wake up and just hope for a chaotic message from him. 

One mutual turned to two, which turned to three and the euphoric feeling increased exponentially. However, so did the fear escalated further when you got included in the group chat with the friends that he had before you both met. 

You have always been amazed at their friendship. Despite the small age difference here and there between each person, despite using honorifics to still respect that age gap, it never stopped the radiant chaoticness that they brought everywhere they went, in everything they did. Their personalities that are so different but work together so well to the point that it makes you believe that opposites do attract.

Their differing body clocks that would mean that the group chat never dies no matter where the clock hands land. Being able to connect with them, making genuine bonds through all the bullying (that is full of love), heart-to-heart or supportive conversations, relatable life struggles relating to schoolwork and living, fangirling about their achievements in life, asking for help with things that you’re confused about, the fun flirtings that would leave the others speechless—you realise that this is all you've ever wanted and the fact that you received it when you were at your lowest guard, scared every single part of you.

The very first few moments when you came, you were jealous of their bond, wondering how they became so close even through their differences. Then, as time passed and you inserted yourself in the conversations, it felt like you were flying across a cloudless sky, feeling reassured that your wings wouldn't get wet from the rain. After, you became scared of your presence with them, scared of ultimately breaking them apart.

But, do you know the irony of it all? 

You were the one who decided to ignore not only Sunwoo but every single kind-hearted person there. No one pushed that on you. But whenever they would post their photos on the group chat for distribution, reminisce their memories together, or when you would hear one of them talk about it with people outside the group chat, you find yourself jealous and hurt that you weren't part of it all.

Does anyone understand the confusion, guilt, self-hate and pain that it all brings?

"How do you know if I would understand or not if all you've done is left me on read in an app that can't even tell me that?"

Your breath hitches and your voice box only lets out a small gasp. Everything Sunwoo is saying is correct because everything is due to your insecurities and fear that everything will just fall apart. You truly believe in the fact that nothing lasts forever. That belief alone is the reason why you have trouble making friends.

Because for you, why would you put yourself in so much happiness that your cheeks would hurt from the laughter and smiles when you know that everything would end anyway?

But at the same time, your heart is trying to pull you in the opposite direction. Because in a similar logic, if you know that nothing lasts forever, why can't you just accept that fact and cherish him, the memories and the times that you could potentially spend together?

"Sunwoo," right now, you allowed the facts to speak out for you, refusing to follow what you truly wanted, "you have been blessed with the most lovely, encouraging and supportive group of friends. You and me," your index finger points to your chest after pointing at his, "we have experienced totally different friendships."

Sunwoo is beyond confused. Of course, he would be. You've never even given him a chance to understand your experiences. What you did was isolate yourself from him and the group chat that has given you hope that maybe, just maybe, this is your group of people. Your heart broke beyond what you could even comprehend when some of them personally sent a message to you, asking your whereabouts and hoping that you were doing well. On lonely nights as you monitor the cheerful group chat, all you can do is intertwine your hands together around your phone, the tips of your fingers turning white due to the pressure as you hold yourself back from including yourself in the fun conversation.

"Sorry but maybe I'm just not ready."

Sunwoo watches your blank stare, your eyes that used to be so full of glimmer and happiness are now void. He took in the fact that you were probably half-conscious at the current moment as you just stared at whatever was just above his shoulder in the distance but he didn't need to turn around to know that you were not focusing on anything in particular.

He wipes the tears that clouded his view of you before carefully asking, "For what?" 

Your shoulders rise but they hold their position for a second longer before falling back down, "For whatever this friendship is."

Your eyes catch the way his eyebrows crash together as well as the audible nervous gulp and shaky lips, "Is our friendship just 'whatever' to you now?" The volume decreases with each word in the question.

The heaviness in your heart that you carried the past month started to take its toll on your head and you closed your eyes to focus on the chilling wind hitting your face. Sunwoo watches quietly, still waiting patiently for you to ground yourself back to the present. The boy watches your arms untangle from your chest, dropping back to the side of your body and he finds himself wishing that if he stepped forward and opened his arms, you would reciprocate the same loving action back. 

But he knew you wouldn't. Not now when you flutter your eyes open so delicately with an emotion that he has never seen from you.

"I'll always love you, Sunwoo.” 

These are the words that manage to both break and put the pieces of his heart back together. There is no way he could admit it to you now, especially with how things are going but deep down in the lonely past month that he spent, it’s the exact words that he has been waiting and wanting to say to you as he wishes that he could hear it back from you. Now that he has heard it straight from you, not through written text or a voice message, but face to face, his world starts to rebuild itself slowly.

You both only focused on each other’s faces like it would be the last time you both would ever be able to do so. You straighten your back, no longer slumping and cowering away in fear now that you’ve said the words that have always been on your mind. With your slightly newfound confidence and a somewhat lighter heart, Sunwoo sees a bit of colour start to paint your once-pale skin. Your slightly pink cheeks that are in the same beautiful shade as your lips. Your eyelashes that flutter silently in the cold weather around you—and he finds himself wanting to bring your body in a hug to bring some warmth for you both—and finally, your eyes that held all the stories, ones spoken and unspoken, the same ones that he would eventually find himself thanking the teacher for assigning your seat next to his. 

In the silence that held many meanings for you both, you observe your best friend as well. Your neck tilts slightly to accommodate the height difference, watching how some of his bangs are now free from his sweat and are now in a mess due to the wind, his big round eyes that would disappear mischievously whenever he would tease you about something, only to soon have his bright, wide smile mirrored back to your face. You realise now more than ever that you may never see that cute gummy smile of his anytime soon. 

But you needed to be true to yourself. You needed to figure out your feelings first before you could commit to another friendship that could tear you apart once again. 

You needed to learn to love yourself again before you could go and introduce yourself to others.

Through your friendship with Sunwoo, though short and sweet but still special, you promise that after this, you will never put someone else in this kind of feeling ever again. Things would change from now on and there’s very little that you can do regarding your friendship with Sunwoo now, especially when you were the one who made the mess.

Maybe now after this revelation, he wouldn’t want to be near you anymore or maybe he will wait for you. Maybe he won’t tap on your shoulder anymore during class when you’re dazing off into the gloomy sky and just let you get in trouble with your teacher who will have called your name multiple times. Maybe as he passes by the hallway, his arms around his friends, he won’t even spare you a glance, reserving his smile for just them instead.

But again, there’s nothing you can do now. The words have been said and actions regarding the words have already been carried out.

Did you regret it? 

The shortest and fastest answer: Yes. 

Maybe you could’ve just come clean and told him how you feel. Sunwoo would then do that thing where you both would walk to the nearby park by the school and listen to your rants patiently, straightening and bending his legs as he sits on the swing to give him a bit of momentum, nodding thoughtfully to your worries. Then after, he would stretch his arm from behind the chains and pat your slumped back rhythmically. Just like every single time after that, you would both go for a bubble tea run before Sunwoo would panic text you about an assignment or homework that he forgot to complete and you would panic with him, helping him through the all-nighter that you both have gotten concerningly used to.

…gosh, why didn’t you just do that?

If this friendship was going to end anyway, why didn’t you take the easier, non-confusing, less painful way for the both of you? Why did you have to drag others through so much heartbreak just because of your cowardice? Why did you have to be so unthoughtful and unfair to everything and everyone that you genuinely love? You don't care if you have to get hurt as long as they're fine.

Please…just not them.

You are so unfair, unkind and selfish. He was the one pulling the weight of the friendship and you led him on blindly with that fake smile of yours, pretending that everything was fine. The audacity of you to even wish during the times when you cried alone underneath the blanket that he would forgive you. 

You wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t—that thought also extended to your other ten dear friends too.

A few more minutes pass and you are the one who breaks the prolonged eye contact after putting the features of his face into your memory. Sunwoo could only let out a solemn smile, his feet planted still on the ground even though his legs shook a little bit and he clasped his hands together infront of him, looking down at the grey pavement of your entrance for the first time since he arrived.

“Okay.”

The words seemed more permanent than both of you liked but it was the only response that Sunwoo could give to you at the moment. He missed the way you dropped your head to face the ground. Your body moves to lean over to one side of the doorframe, both your hands reaching over to clench the white metal to keep your posture and emotions somewhat stable.

The bag that was in your field of vision gets dragged away from your figure and you know from the shadow that Sunwoo is dusting off the dirt, ready to walk away for the day—from the friendship that you ruined. The sun behind him has almost fully hidden itself behind the taller buildings that you would have always thanked whenever you were in your room, wanting to get away from its scorching heat and intense light but now, you wished it would stay around longer…just a little bit longer. 

But maybe, Sunwoo is your sun and he hears your internal pleading because he steps forward, his everyday school sneakers coming into your view. 

“Whenever you’re ready, alright?”

Maybe it was your growing heartache and headache but the way he mutters it, just a volume above the singing crickets as the birds retreat their song for the day, seemed genuine. Most importantly though, it didn’t seem permanent at all. It’s almost as if Sunwoo is telling you indirectly that he will always wait for you. To tell you to figure out your internal fight first but that he’ll always give you a helping hand and that boba treat if you ever call him for help. To tell you that he will always get you in trouble during class and stick his tongue out if he’s successful. To tell you to stop ignoring him in school now that he is getting some sort of closure from you. 

Thankful for the memories and comfort, your head rises from the depths of your darkness and Sunwoo shines brighter than the huge star behind him. For what you both know will be the last one in a while, Sunwoo purposely lets out a loud sigh, one that is playful and is accommodated by the upturned corner of his lips before resting his open palm on the top of your head.

“I will always wait for you.” 

To his words, the stars in your eyes fell and for once, you were glad that you finally showed your tears to him. You hoped that he would know just how much you are genuinely sorry for all of this. Giving him an actually convincing nod that he seemed to accept. You watch your best friend stuff his hands inside his pocket, turning away from your front door and walking his way back down the stairs to being just classmates—just for now.

No more words were exchanged after and everything seems to pass by excruciatingly slow. Neither of you had the courage and strength left in your being to call out for the other anymore. Sunwoo would go back to his friends and you would be left alone but that’s alright because you love them all. You would gladly kick yourself out of the picture if it meant that there would be no awkwardness or unsettling feeling in the group.

As soon as Sunwoo disappears from your sight, he takes all the happiness and warmth that he would offer to you unconditionally, but you also hope that he left all his worries and frustrations here at your front door. The clicking of the door when you close it is empty and the dragging steps that you take to the other end of the hallway to your room are still heavy. You had no more words for the devil in your head that laughed at you victoriously, the insecurities bouncing from the purple walls of your room as you sat at the edge of your bed.

But when your phone turns on with a notification that you didn’t expect, you know that the angel inside your head will be working their hardest to strengthen your mindset. There, visible from your lock screen is a new message from Sunwoo. Between your sniffles, you manage to let out a momentary chuckle at the new profile picture: Sunwoo behind you wrapping his arms around your neck, holding his phone out on selfie mode for the both of you to smile at—it’s the latest picture of you both. Your eyes then divert to the new message, one that would push you to keep going until you could face him once more and be back in his arms:

“I’ll always love you too.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...' tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿

hi @nasangel! sorry this is late but thank you sm for reading my story and the cute comments! 🤭

maybe...some tissues? 🥹

[19:32] | tbz kim sunwoo

» ​PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x pregnant fem reader​ » TROPE/AU​: uhhhh...i don't think there's a trope for this one 🤔 established relationship au! marriage au! » GENRE​: husband sunwoo, fluffy fluffy fluff fluff, slight angst, ​comforting sunwoo, loving sunwoo, patient sunwoo, hurt/comfort » WORD COUNT: ​1868 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~7 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): pregnancy, vomiting and sickness, insecurities

this was my first ever timestamp story! ahhhh the memories from re-reading this 😍

i didn't want to change it much (changed one sentence) but it's more proofread now 🤭 this gathered 183 notes (14 rbs, 169 likes) and even though it hurts that i can't see that evidence anymore, i'm glad it got that much love!! this is very overdue but thank you so much 🫶

navi/masterlist!!

You never knew that pregnancy would be this hard. 

Whenever you asked your mum about her pregnancy journey, she would always have a smile on her face, telling you all the exciting milestones; first positive test, telling other people the news, first ultrasound, first time there was a definite belly bump, first movement, buying items for you or your big brother and the list goes on.

Your mum didn’t leave out the other side of pregnancy though and in particular the sickness and depleted self-confidence due to the new changes in the body internally and externally. However, your mum only experienced a few episodes of morning sickness (compared to your grandma or her already mum friends) and you were nowhere like your mum.

“Please…” The tears in your eyes only accumulated over the past hour or so and the clock on the opposite side of the bathroom was becoming blurry. You could only murmur out whispers of pain and begs that this episode would pass by soon; and before Sunwoo would arrive home.

Kim Sunwoo has been the best husband ever. You thought that he was already perfect and loving but with all the new challenges and experiences in life, there was no way that you couldn’t fall for him even more day by day and the silver band around your ring finger is one of the evidences for that. 

Trudging to stand up from the kneeling position, the small whispers turned into louder cries by the second. The headache was killing you, your knees felt so cold and you could still taste the acidity of your stomach in your mouth. The flush button feels so out of reach unlike the first three times you pushed it and you eventually gave up for a bit to rest your forehead on the toilet seat, “God please…”

Still with all of these rough patches during your pregnancy, your blurry eyes could still see the purple shirt that covered your little pregnancy bump and with shaky hands, you soothed the little bean inside of you, “Can’t wait to meet you, baby. Your dad and I can’t wait to finally hold you in our arms.”

As if your child is listening, a little kick could be felt as if acknowledging their mother’s loving words. You could only sob while chuckling, still softly rubbing your stomach and whispering sweet nothings to your stomach. 

In the back of your mind, you are still very aware of the time. Sunwoo was supposed to arrive home around an hour ago yet he’s still not home. You were about to call him to check up on him but your episode started and your phone is way too far for you to even comprehend walking to the other side of the apartment. Sunwoo has been so busy for the whole time of your pregnancy with work as well as taking care of you. 

Waking up at a random time at three? He’s there to walk you to the bathroom

Sudden craving as soon as you wake up? Count on him to drive there and back as soon as possible.

Needing hugs and comfort? He’s running and never letting you go.

This was not how you wanted to greet him after a long week of work, especially when it was his first week of getting promoted. You just don’t ever want to worry him but you conflictingly accepted that pregnancy is not necessarily a one-person job and Sunwoo made you realise how important it is to always reach out to him whenever you need him. Still, you try to do everything yourself first.

Needless to say, you love this man with your whole being and you can’t wait for your child to meet the best dad in the whole wide world.

You freaked out at the familiar sound of the door unlocking, creaking open and the bright call for your name. With all the strength that you have accumulated over this short amount of time, you find the drive to stand up, put the toilet lid down and flush your evidence of pain down the drain. 

But throughout your pregnancy, Sunwoo is always so alert whenever he hears the toilet flushing that he practically runs to the bathroom to see you struggling to take even a step further away from the toilet, holding your body by pushing down your palm onto the edge of the sink next to you, “Baby?” At the sight of your dried tears, red eyes, dishevelled hair and shaking body, Sunwoo rushes over to you, imagining the war that you probably had alone, “Sit down here.” He pointed and directed you to the toilet seat.

You couldn’t help but cry again when you felt Sunwoo’s arm wrapping around your waist, setting you down on the toilet carefully. He kneels before you, lifting his head to scan your face for any additional discomfort, “I’m sorry.” Sobbing louder and louder when you catch a glimpse of his worried glance and creasing forehead, “I wanted to greet you nicely today. I even made you some snacks and such in the kitchen but you have to see me all ugly like th---”

“Hey, hey. Just stop, okay?” Sunwoo hushes your words when you begin to downgrade yourself, “Don’t say those things. You’re beautiful, bubs.” He tries to steal a kiss from your lips but you shake your head and push your face backwards, “Hey…”

“No, don’t kiss me. I'm disgusting right now.” You managed to say between your sobs. You couldn’t face your husband anymore in shame that you couldn’t take care of yourself for the whole week. Everything seemed to have the worst timing. You just wanted to make sure you could at least be there for Sunwoo when he opened the front door as he got through his first week of promotion yet not even halfway through the week, it was obvious that Sunwoo has done more reassuring than getting reassurance, “Don’t leave me…” 

Your heartbreaking tone made Sunwoo's heartbreak, “I promise I won’t.” He whispers with a sad smile. He’s heard this a couple of times recently but he promised himself and to you that he will always remind you that he’ll always be by your side, just like he promised a year ago on your wedding day, “Bubs, I’m right here for you. You can lean on me okay?” You clenched your fist at the understanding words, though you still felt so frustrated with yourself. Sensing this, Sunwoo rests both his hands on yours, moving his thumb over your palm to hopefully soothe your nerves, “I…should have called you. I’m sorry I’m late today.”

“Don’t be…” You shake your head, and finally meet your husband’s eyes who looks to be relaxed even though he’s also nervous inside, “Was everything okay today?”

“It was more than alright.” Sunwoo bites his bottom lip, crushing himself out internally to not rush home even faster when he left work today. He tried to hide his thoughts but his hands on top of you betrayed him.

“Sunwoo…what’s wrong?” 

“It’s just that---” Sunwoo sighs out exasperatedly at his past actions, taking one hand away to sweep his hair backwards, “I just should have come home earlier. I finished work early today but I decided to go to the shops for a while.”

“Hey, don’t blame yourself.” You reassured him for the first time in the whole week (that’s what you felt at least), bringing your hands to cup his face gently, “Did you get whatever it was that you wanted?”

“I…” Sunwoo shook his head, closing his eyes frustratingly, “I did but I would have come home earlier if I knew you were like this.” Suddenly, he took out his phone from his pocket, scanning the call log history and not once a single missed call came from you, “Where’s your phone by the way? Why didn’t you call me with your watch?”

“Phone is in the kitchen. And my watch…” You answered guiltily. You had a feeling where this conversation would go as it did many times in the past. 

There were too many occurrences before this one when Sunwoo would come home with you in this state, sometimes better than this, unfortunately, more times worse than this. When Sunwoo realised that this wasn’t going to be an easy thing to predict and prepare, he got you a smartwatch that allows you to call him. 

Never once had you used it.

How could you when you felt like the worst person ever to be burdening him with this? You should be able to do this alone. All the mothers on the internet did. All those single mothers probably did this all alone too. So you should be able to do this too?

“We talked about this.” Sunwoo said sternly, his eyebrows furrowed. He puts both of your hands away from his face to your lap, tapping on your watch on your wrist and calling his phone to make sure the dial still works. Sure enough, his own phone rings along with your saved name on his phone and his personalised ringtone for his wife, “Bubs…”

You shook your head, “I-I just can’t…not when you’re so busy with work and feeling tired.”

“Bubs.” Sunwoo’s voice shook and before saying anything else, he rested his forehead on your hands, taking deep breaths as he calmed himself down, “In sickness and in health right?” He continued his words as he looked back up with a tear rolling down his face. You whimper at the sight, your heart swelling as you can feel the love that he holds for you in his eyes.

“I-I know but sti---”

“Pregnancy is not supposed to be tackled alone like this.” Sunwoo shook his head, pressing a kiss with his plump lips on your forehead, “Someone is supposed to support you, hold you, and make sure you and the baby are safe and sound. I can’t be that someone if you don’t tell me, you know?” He reminded you once again, being the utmost patient with you as you wrap your arms around his neck and he holds the sides of your waist.

“Sunwoo…”

“Call me next time, please? You’re not a burden. Not to me. Never to me.” Sunwoo cups the side of your face with his palm and with a genuine smile that finally reaches his eyes, Sunwoo leans down to give you a soft peck on the lips despite your pout and complains after, “You’re beautiful, sweetheart. I love you so much.”

It was such a simple statement from your husband yet you felt your whole body relax at the genuine reassurance from the one person that you love the most in this world. Even though your eyes were still leaving tears down your face, Sunwoo looked at you with the most heartwarming gaze in the whole world, smiling with that box smile of his when you finally managed to let out a small smile, “I love you so much, Kim Sunwoo.”

“Now.” Sunwoo leans away to stand up slowly before kneeling back down again but this time with his back facing you, “Hop on! I bet you’ll be happy with what I got you.”

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

thank you for 100+ interactions 🥰

[19:32] | tbz kim sunwoo

» ​PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x pregnant fem reader​ » TROPE/AU​: uhhhh...i don't think there's a trope for this one 🤔 established relationship au! marriage au! » GENRE​: husband sunwoo, fluffy fluffy fluff fluff, slight angst, ​comforting sunwoo, loving sunwoo, patient sunwoo, hurt/comfort » WORD COUNT: ​1868 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~7 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): pregnancy, vomiting and sickness, insecurities

this was my first ever timestamp story! ahhhh the memories from re-reading this 😍

i didn't want to change it much (changed one sentence) but it's more proofread now 🤭 this gathered 183 notes (14 rbs, 169 likes) and even though it hurts that i can't see that evidence anymore, i'm glad it got that much love!! this is very overdue but thank you so much 🫶

navi/masterlist!!

You never knew that pregnancy would be this hard. 

Whenever you asked your mum about her pregnancy journey, she would always have a smile on her face, telling you all the exciting milestones; first positive test, telling other people the news, first ultrasound, first time there was a definite belly bump, first movement, buying items for you or your big brother and the list goes on.

Your mum didn’t leave out the other side of pregnancy though and in particular the sickness and depleted self-confidence due to the new changes in the body internally and externally. However, your mum only experienced a few episodes of morning sickness (compared to your grandma or her already mum friends) and you were nowhere like your mum.

“Please…” The tears in your eyes only accumulated over the past hour or so and the clock on the opposite side of the bathroom was becoming blurry. You could only murmur out whispers of pain and begs that this episode would pass by soon; and before Sunwoo would arrive home.

Kim Sunwoo has been the best husband ever. You thought that he was already perfect and loving but with all the new challenges and experiences in life, there was no way that you couldn’t fall for him even more day by day and the silver band around your ring finger is one of the evidences for that. 

Trudging to stand up from the kneeling position, the small whispers turned into louder cries by the second. The headache was killing you, your knees felt so cold and you could still taste the acidity of your stomach in your mouth. The flush button feels so out of reach unlike the first three times you pushed it and you eventually gave up for a bit to rest your forehead on the toilet seat, “God please…”

Still with all of these rough patches during your pregnancy, your blurry eyes could still see the purple shirt that covered your little pregnancy bump and with shaky hands, you soothed the little bean inside of you, “Can’t wait to meet you, baby. Your dad and I can’t wait to finally hold you in our arms.”

As if your child is listening, a little kick could be felt as if acknowledging their mother’s loving words. You could only sob while chuckling, still softly rubbing your stomach and whispering sweet nothings to your stomach. 

In the back of your mind, you are still very aware of the time. Sunwoo was supposed to arrive home around an hour ago yet he’s still not home. You were about to call him to check up on him but your episode started and your phone is way too far for you to even comprehend walking to the other side of the apartment. Sunwoo has been so busy for the whole time of your pregnancy with work as well as taking care of you. 

Waking up at a random time at three? He’s there to walk you to the bathroom

Sudden craving as soon as you wake up? Count on him to drive there and back as soon as possible.

Needing hugs and comfort? He’s running and never letting you go.

This was not how you wanted to greet him after a long week of work, especially when it was his first week of getting promoted. You just don’t ever want to worry him but you conflictingly accepted that pregnancy is not necessarily a one-person job and Sunwoo made you realise how important it is to always reach out to him whenever you need him. Still, you try to do everything yourself first.

Needless to say, you love this man with your whole being and you can’t wait for your child to meet the best dad in the whole wide world.

You freaked out at the familiar sound of the door unlocking, creaking open and the bright call for your name. With all the strength that you have accumulated over this short amount of time, you find the drive to stand up, put the toilet lid down and flush your evidence of pain down the drain. 

But throughout your pregnancy, Sunwoo is always so alert whenever he hears the toilet flushing that he practically runs to the bathroom to see you struggling to take even a step further away from the toilet, holding your body by pushing down your palm onto the edge of the sink next to you, “Baby?” At the sight of your dried tears, red eyes, dishevelled hair and shaking body, Sunwoo rushes over to you, imagining the war that you probably had alone, “Sit down here.” He pointed and directed you to the toilet seat.

You couldn’t help but cry again when you felt Sunwoo’s arm wrapping around your waist, setting you down on the toilet carefully. He kneels before you, lifting his head to scan your face for any additional discomfort, “I’m sorry.” Sobbing louder and louder when you catch a glimpse of his worried glance and creasing forehead, “I wanted to greet you nicely today. I even made you some snacks and such in the kitchen but you have to see me all ugly like th---”

“Hey, hey. Just stop, okay?” Sunwoo hushes your words when you begin to downgrade yourself, “Don’t say those things. You’re beautiful, bubs.” He tries to steal a kiss from your lips but you shake your head and push your face backwards, “Hey…”

“No, don’t kiss me. I'm disgusting right now.” You managed to say between your sobs. You couldn’t face your husband anymore in shame that you couldn’t take care of yourself for the whole week. Everything seemed to have the worst timing. You just wanted to make sure you could at least be there for Sunwoo when he opened the front door as he got through his first week of promotion yet not even halfway through the week, it was obvious that Sunwoo has done more reassuring than getting reassurance, “Don’t leave me…” 

Your heartbreaking tone made Sunwoo's heartbreak, “I promise I won’t.” He whispers with a sad smile. He’s heard this a couple of times recently but he promised himself and to you that he will always remind you that he’ll always be by your side, just like he promised a year ago on your wedding day, “Bubs, I’m right here for you. You can lean on me okay?” You clenched your fist at the understanding words, though you still felt so frustrated with yourself. Sensing this, Sunwoo rests both his hands on yours, moving his thumb over your palm to hopefully soothe your nerves, “I…should have called you. I’m sorry I’m late today.”

“Don’t be…” You shake your head, and finally meet your husband’s eyes who looks to be relaxed even though he’s also nervous inside, “Was everything okay today?”

“It was more than alright.” Sunwoo bites his bottom lip, crushing himself out internally to not rush home even faster when he left work today. He tried to hide his thoughts but his hands on top of you betrayed him.

“Sunwoo…what’s wrong?” 

“It’s just that---” Sunwoo sighs out exasperatedly at his past actions, taking one hand away to sweep his hair backwards, “I just should have come home earlier. I finished work early today but I decided to go to the shops for a while.”

“Hey, don’t blame yourself.” You reassured him for the first time in the whole week (that’s what you felt at least), bringing your hands to cup his face gently, “Did you get whatever it was that you wanted?”

“I…” Sunwoo shook his head, closing his eyes frustratingly, “I did but I would have come home earlier if I knew you were like this.” Suddenly, he took out his phone from his pocket, scanning the call log history and not once a single missed call came from you, “Where’s your phone by the way? Why didn’t you call me with your watch?”

“Phone is in the kitchen. And my watch…” You answered guiltily. You had a feeling where this conversation would go as it did many times in the past. 

There were too many occurrences before this one when Sunwoo would come home with you in this state, sometimes better than this, unfortunately, more times worse than this. When Sunwoo realised that this wasn’t going to be an easy thing to predict and prepare, he got you a smartwatch that allows you to call him. 

Never once had you used it.

How could you when you felt like the worst person ever to be burdening him with this? You should be able to do this alone. All the mothers on the internet did. All those single mothers probably did this all alone too. So you should be able to do this too?

“We talked about this.” Sunwoo said sternly, his eyebrows furrowed. He puts both of your hands away from his face to your lap, tapping on your watch on your wrist and calling his phone to make sure the dial still works. Sure enough, his own phone rings along with your saved name on his phone and his personalised ringtone for his wife, “Bubs…”

You shook your head, “I-I just can’t…not when you’re so busy with work and feeling tired.”

“Bubs.” Sunwoo’s voice shook and before saying anything else, he rested his forehead on your hands, taking deep breaths as he calmed himself down, “In sickness and in health right?” He continued his words as he looked back up with a tear rolling down his face. You whimper at the sight, your heart swelling as you can feel the love that he holds for you in his eyes.

“I-I know but sti---”

“Pregnancy is not supposed to be tackled alone like this.” Sunwoo shook his head, pressing a kiss with his plump lips on your forehead, “Someone is supposed to support you, hold you, and make sure you and the baby are safe and sound. I can’t be that someone if you don’t tell me, you know?” He reminded you once again, being the utmost patient with you as you wrap your arms around his neck and he holds the sides of your waist.

“Sunwoo…”

“Call me next time, please? You’re not a burden. Not to me. Never to me.” Sunwoo cups the side of your face with his palm and with a genuine smile that finally reaches his eyes, Sunwoo leans down to give you a soft peck on the lips despite your pout and complains after, “You’re beautiful, sweetheart. I love you so much.”

It was such a simple statement from your husband yet you felt your whole body relax at the genuine reassurance from the one person that you love the most in this world. Even though your eyes were still leaving tears down your face, Sunwoo looked at you with the most heartwarming gaze in the whole world, smiling with that box smile of his when you finally managed to let out a small smile, “I love you so much, Kim Sunwoo.”

“Now.” Sunwoo leans away to stand up slowly before kneeling back down again but this time with his back facing you, “Hop on! I bet you’ll be happy with what I got you.”

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

thank you for 100+ interactions!!

[02:04] | tbz lee jaehyun | hyunjae

» ​PAIRING: tbz lee jaehyun (hyunjae) x fem reader​ » TROPE/AU​: friends 2 lovers (mentioned from backstory!), non-idol au! established relationship au! marriage au! » GENRE​: fluffy fluff, slight angst (?), ​husband hyunjae, he's super patient and understanding, hurt/comfort, wedding vows (it's so cute, i love it) » WORD COUNT: ​3743 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~14 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): mentions of pregnancy, insecurities, mentions of a broken family/childhood (reader's side), proofread once

my second timestamp story! thank you for all the love on the first one! (pst! it's sunwoo! 🦝) hopefully, this one lives up to your expectations! (if there are any uwu). sorry for my weird, unscheduled, random posting times > <

shoutout to my mum who (i bet) went through a lot to make sure i would grow up well. thank you for always reminding me that you don't regret having me and loving me with all your being. love you mumma! 💗

navi/masterlist!!

You remembered when you tucked yourself into bed alone after reminding Jaehyun to come to bed soon. He was so close to finishing his work that you didn’t want to force him out of his zone, understanding that he would feel more peaceful if he finished it sooner even if it meant ruining his internal body clock a little bit for it.

Opening your eyes and taking a deep breath in the calming darkness, you smiled at the arm that rested across your now flat stomach. During your whole pregnancy stages, especially when that wicked pregnancy pillow put a physical barrier between you and your loving husband, he would at least reach out and hold your hand (or particularly your stomach bump), a huge downgrade from how his chest would completely be on your back and he hushes you asleep with his soft snores. 

You knew as soon as you turned your head to the right that Jaehyun managed to finish his work, a neutral smile on his face as compared to the slight pout and the subtle crease between his eyebrows as he sometimes grunts in his sleep from the past few days. An affectionate gaze falls upon your eyes when Jaehyun grunts and scoots over to your side of the bed, his unconscious mind telling him to move closer to his wife after he throws the pillow away to the other side of the room in excitement as soon as your new family arrived home three days ago. You chuckle at the way his right hand past the top of your stomach to hook your waist and pull you closer to him. Now half awake, Jaehyun made himself comfortable by burrowing his nose and lips into the crook of your neck and you immediately looked up towards the ceiling to let him do so.

A satisfied hum comes out from the man beside you, “This is nice.” He brushes the warm skin of your neck with his colder nose and his soft lips press multiple kisses from your jawline to your right shoulder.

“Jae.” You chuckle at his playful nature, “Go back to sleep, hm? You have work tomorrow.”

Jaehyun groans at the grim reminder. He’s been at home ever since you came back home, using up some of his leave days to take care of you and your newborn child. He was about to use it all but you stopped him, convincing him that you’re able to take care of yourself and your child, moreover to save those days in case a ‘real’ emergency does occur. Every day and every moment, you look at your husband who you treasure so much and you can’t help but think about how much you love this man with all your heart, mind and soul.

“Don’t remind me of that, bubs.” Finally opening his eyes, he relied on the subtle moonlight that seeped through your curtains and looked at your side view with ‘that’ gaze. 

‘That’ gaze that reminds you every day that you’re worth it for you. ‘That’ gaze that he kept even after ten years of meeting each other. ‘That’ gaze that was plastered on his face when he went down on one knee to propose to you. ‘That’ gaze that was present when he read his wedding vows and wiped the tears on your face when you read yours. ‘That’ gaze (mixed with immense happiness and excitement) when you told him you were pregnant. 

It holds many meanings and you were sure that the list would continue, building from all the blessed experiences so far.

Only chuckling at the way that he pouts cutely at you, you turn your body to face him, creating a small gap between you both as you press a peck on his lips, “Thank you for using your leave days to take care of us.”

“Of course, I would.” Jaehyun shook his head slightly to validate his point, “You both are my whole world. I can’t afford to lose you or baby.” It was the way that your eyes slightly pooled with tears that he replaced the pout and shushing the soft whimpers that left your now shaky lips, “Hey…what’s wrong?”

Your once small cries amplified drastically and Jaehyun’s eyes widened in shock, quickly pulling you into his embrace. He slips his left hand under your neck, bringing your tear-stricken face into his chest as you sob in his arms. Jaehyun comfortingly whispers sweet nothings into your ear, patting your head and pressing occasional kisses on your forehead. You stayed wordless for a while, enjoying the company and how close your entire body could be now after you gave birth.

“Catch your breath. I’ll be right here.” Jaehyun reminds you between your tired gasps for air, “I’ll always be here next to you, waiting for you, loving you more and more with each passing day.”

You couldn’t do anything but just nod, your heart melting at the sincere words, “I’m scared.”

“Of what, bubs?”

“Like,” You started, audibly voicing out the thoughts that have been swarming and eating you alive inside and out, “what happens if I mess up?”

It isn’t the first time that you had this kind of conversation. The very first time was when the adrenaline from your system was drained after announcing that positive pregnancy test to Jaehyun. You voiced out your worries as an upcoming parent, worried that you would accidentally pass down your problems, anxiety and worries to your child. Out of everything you want the most in the world, all you want is for your children to grow up without your traumas and problems affecting them because that’s not the kind of life that they deserve. Of course, that’s unrealistic. Children are indeed a slight depiction of their parents and how they would act around other people outside the family says a lot about how their parents raised them.

You can just imagine a situation where your anxiety takes over, you crouch down to be eye level with your extremely young child, giving them a lecture about what they should or shouldn’t do, extending that talks to both extreme sides of ‘what if’s and how they should just be more careful, less daring and---

“Jae, promise me that you’ll make sure she doesn’t grow up like me.” It was a desperate plea, almost as if you would walk out of their lives in the next second. The anxiety completely took over your body as you clenched Jaehyun’s shirt in your fist as a physical response, looking up at him desperately and Jaehyun’s eyebrows crashed together, “She doesn’t deserve that, Jae. Those silent cries, hating everyone around me, feeling like no one loved me and wanting to just end---”

“Don’t.” It was stern yet it still held a lot of patience and love. Jaehyun smiles sadly at the words that he has heard multiple times but even so, he would never stop reminding you of all the things he loves about you. He would never stop hugging you, holding your body and pulling you towards him, giving you all his love and company, “Don’t say that about yourself when you’re the reason why I wake up happy every day, bubs.”

“But Jae---”

“You know,” He whispers into the silent yet wavering night. Jaehyun takes a deep inhale of the air, tilting his head to rest his chin on the top of your head, “I was so scared of losing you as time went on.”

You calmed down, shutting your eyes as you focused on his heartbeat to pull you back to the present time. Jaehyun just smiles at the slightly open door of your room and he reminds himself of his newborn child on the other side of their bedroom door. When you hummed confusingly at his words, your husband just nodded, “Why were you scared?”

“Well,” If it wasn’t for the fact that your face was hidden into his collarbone, you would be able to see the blushing mess that Jaehyun was. A deep red blush was on his face, spreading to his ears; but you did feel the warmth on his neck as you kissed his skin delicately and it made Jaehyun more of a mess, “of course if it didn’t work out and you didn’t feel the same way, it would become awkward and even though we were such close friends, I knew that if I was rejected, I wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with you anymore. I really could’ve lost you.”

You never really knew this about Jaehyun. Whenever you asked about the day that he confessed to you to be his girlfriend, he only talked about his plans and how your mutual friends all pushed him to confess to you. You also told him about how the same mutual friends pushed you to confess back to him, yet you were a coward that you became used to telling yourself that if you ever ended up with Jaehyun, it would only hinder him in life; because who would love a broken girl when they could love a perfect one instead?

And so when he confessed, asked for a chance and promised to love you dearly after two years of mutual pining, you didn’t realise that time flew by so quickly that on the sixth year when Jaehyun kneeled and asked for your hand in marriage two years ago, a sudden hit of ‘reality’ (or so you called it) crashed into you. 

You really did find love when you thought for the longest, most tiring and hardest times when you didn’t think anyone would love you as you are. Seriously, how could anyone love you when you were still so stuck between believing and convincing yourself that you are enough? 

“I knew I had to take a chance,” Jaehyun continues his thoughts, “because when I closed my eyes and realised that if I didn’t at least try to make you mine, you might just completely slip from my life. Selfishly as well, I didn’t want to see you smiling in another person’s arms and kissing that person every time you wake up and go to sleep.”

The thought of you two doing just that ever since you moved in together five years ago suddenly made you blush and you couldn’t help but let out a string of complaints. Jaehyun just laughs (and quietly lets out a sigh of relief) when you finally release his shirt, wrapping your small hands around his bigger build instead, “I’m sorry that I didn’t realise that you went through all that.”

“No, it’s alright.” He reassures you again for the nth time in the last hour, “I have you now. You are all I ever wanted.” Pulling away and reaching to cup your wet cheeks, his thumbs swipe your almost dry cheek, offering you that familiar warmth that only he could give, “It’s all worth it in the end.”

“Really?” Another tear managed to slip out of your eyes and you couldn’t help but stare at him apprehensively as the devil inside your mind managed to manipulate your thinking, “I’m such a high-maintenance person, Jae…I really wouldn’t blame you if you wake up one day and decide to just…” He shakes his head throughout your small speech, knowing the similar words that you would say to him once in a while, “leave…” It came out quieter than you thought, maybe because he already knew anyway, hence saying it again and again, the red-horned creature in your mind rejoices as your childhood traumas reminded you of how worthless you are to the world.

Usually at this time, Jaehyun would rebut your words immediately but the silence had your heart dropping and for a while, you thought that you had taken the words out of his mouth. Jaehyun kept his tired stare and suddenly you were aware of your dry mouth as you waited for any sort of words from your husband. He removes the hand that was on your cheek, reaching behind to grab his device from the bedside table, “Hold on, okay?”

For a second, you really thought this was it for the both of you. During these moments of much-needed comfort, Jaehyun has always given you his undivided attention but now as the blue light reflects on his squinting eyes, you couldn’t help but let the tears flow down your eyes once again. Did he finally give up on me? Were the only thoughts that swarmed your mind as you watched how his thumb scrolled and colours reflected on the smooth surface of his dewy skin, “Jae?” Time made you desperate for a response and you were about to clench on his shirt again when he let out a small ‘aha’ and played the video on his phone.

You recognised the scene on his phone immediately without looking. The familiar scene, cheers, whooping and excitement radiating off the background noises had you sobbing again. Jaehyun sets the volume, puts his phone back on the bedside table and gives you his attention again, “My mum was sorting videos on her phone when she came across this and sent it to me.” He presses a comforting kiss on your lips and calms your shaking body, “I’m sure you remember this right?”

You just nod and Jaehyun pulls your face into his chest once again, letting the sound from the video consume you both into your worlds.

“As soon as you stepped into those classroom doors, all eyes were on you and undoubtedly mine too.” You were already starting to tear up just from the first few sentences, “Ah…I only just started…” You scanned your next words, just sniffling from the longer sentences that you didn't know how to not cry to while the audience let out words of encouragement and small laughs. 

Your soon-to-be husband steps towards you, kissing the side of your head, “Should I go first?”

“Do you mind?” You laugh, feeling embarrassed. 

“Not at all.” Jaehyun takes out his paper from his suit, taking the microphone from you, “I already knew this would happen guys.” He announced to the audience and you rolled your eyes jokingly, “Ok…I’ll start.”

You knew very well that your eye makeup was most probably ruined and you looked some sort of a mess at the moment so you couldn’t help but stare down at the floor. Jaehyun gives you a quick kiss on the crown of your head, swooning the audience with his romantic gesture making him chuckle before clearing his throat and starting his vows.

“I remember the day I walked into that classroom on my first day of school. No doubt, I didn’t want to be there. Not just at that school or at that classroom: I just didn’t want to be in Seoul. The sudden move because of my dad’s work made me leave all the memories I had in Incheon in a month and as an innocent young child who was already happy with everything, I didn’t want to leave.

Alas, even my mother told me we had to go and that’s when I knew that moving was inevitable. School work was already hard as it was and I had to move to a big city where I knew no one, having to start all over again from the ‘Hi. My name is Lee Jaehyun. I hope we’ll get along well.’ really made me reach the peak of my mood swings during puberty.”

Jaehyun alternates his eye contact between you and the audience who reacts to the groom with happiness, and laughter as some of his closest friends give him encouraging, funny body language. He points them out and the said friends complain whilst the audience just laughs at the group of boys on the side of the stage. However, it was how you finally raised your head and laughed along that made Jaehyun join in as well.

“For the first few weeks, I didn’t make an obvious effort to fit in. As you know, I joined clubs and did after-school activities. Studying was still my priority at this point but even that became so mundane and boring that I crashed and burnt out after a while. But maybe, the burnout was just what I needed because that was how I first met you. Had I not cried in the corner of the library in the ironically ‘health and wellbeing’ section, would you have even spoken to me? Would you have crouched down and tapped on my shoulder to ask if I was okay? Would you have sat down next to me silently as you read your book, waiting for me to answer your question?

The answer is: yes. Or at least I would like to believe so.

Why? Because no one will fully ever understand how much I love you. Maybe if it wasn’t that day in the library, I would’ve met you later. How much later, nobody knows and nobody will ever know because I’m about to marry that girl who made my day so much better in the library. But what I do know is that no matter when, where, why or how we would’ve met, I would have still fallen in love with your smile, your pout, your laugh, and the way you cutely complain about how I mess up your bubble tea order,” Jaehyun gives you a cheeky smile and you just scoff with a smile on your face, “the way you would cry in my arms when you had a bad day, the way you would drop everything when I have a bad day, the way you would try your best to stay awake until I’m done with my other priorities. 

But bubs, I hope you’ll always know that you’ll forever be my first, most top priority.

Even as we fight, cry and shout at each other words that we don’t mean, I hope you’ll always be able to go to sleep thinking that I’ll still love you. I’ll still be right by your side when your insecurities come by and pass. I’ll always remind you that you’ll always be enough no matter what you do. Your best will always be enough and I hope I’ll always be that person who can be your safe, happy place.”

No doubt now that you’re sobbing and when you look at your parents sitting down not far from the stage, your heart does clench a bit as you’re reminded of your childhood. Seeing them cry over Jaehyun’s words does seem a little bit strange to you as they never really minded your words whenever you were struggling with life. But then you remind yourself of what Jaehyun said to you a few seconds ago.

“I know for sure that you’ll always be enough for me.” Jaehyun continues, taking your mind off your parents as he looks at you understandingly, “I love you and I know I’ll continue to love you until the day I take my last breath. I’ll take care of you even when you’re not sick or feeling well, cherish all of you and be there for you even after death because I love you so much, sweetheart.”

The recording ended there and Jaehyun relished in the way that your body stopped shaking, your arms around his waist securely and your breathing back to normal. He knows instantly that you feel better just from those small actions. He also didn’t miss the smile that grew on your face even though you were literally cuddled up against his body, “So,” the deep whisper from your husband only made you push your face even further up his body, now burying your face into his collarbone, “I just want to tell you that she will grow up beautifully just like her mother. Also, we’ll get through this together. Parenting isn’t supposed to be a one-person job after all.”

Nodding and burrowing yourself into the crook of his neck, you appreciate the way his words reminded the devil in the back of your head as it stomps off in defeat. The words supported the angel that finally won and it replaced the red creature, kicking the red light away to replace your body with a calming, soothing feeling that soon takes over your whole body, “I love you, Jae.”

“I love you too.” The warmth of the night overpowered the chilly night and the two of you held each other so lovingly that the weight of your eyelids eventually became too heavy for you to hold. Jaehyun waits patiently until sleep fully takes over you, fighting his yawn from escaping his mouth. Quietly, he just continued to stroke your exposed waist delicately, kissing your lips one last time before reminding you once more, “Always.”

It’s all very fortunate that your mind is now at ease and that you both were able to sleep after. But parenting duties call about half an hour later when cries are heard from the other side of the house and both your eyes open instantly. You were the first one to untangle your body from Jaehyun and you looked over to your husband who was still stirring himself awake again for the second time of the night as you both sat up on the bed, “I’m sorry.” You kiss him on the lips, cradling the back of his head and pushing his chest back down on the bed, “I’ll get her. Get back to sleep, Jae.”

“No no, I’ll go.” You disapprovingly groan at your husband who managed to push his sleepiness aside and sit up once again, his head hanging down in exhaustion, “Wha---bubs.” Instantly, you pushed him back down on the bed, pulling the blanket over up until his chin.

You adamantly tell your husband to try and go back to sleep. Jaehyun fakes his nod and closes his eyes, an idea popping up in his head as he plots to joke around with his wife. When you swing your legs over to the side of the bed, ready to stand up once more, Jaehyun quickly hugs you from behind, pressing a kiss on the back of your ear where you’re the most ticklish and sensitive. 

You froze at his actions and even though his sleepy voice was still evident, you could also hear all the love that he could offer you in this world with his playful tone, “Race you there, bubs.”

Jaehyun called in sick the next day.

navi/masterlist!!

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