To Be Loved Is To Be Know. And Yes, I Want To Know Your Freckles And Your Moles And The Gapes In Your

to be loved is to be know. and yes, i want to know your freckles and your moles and the gapes in your face that dimple when you smile, but more importantly, i want to know the little things. i want to know the way your childhood bedroom was arranged and the garden you passed everyday on your way to elementary school. i want to know the friend who's favorite color you've adopted and the brother you lost your first tooth to. i want to know the hand-me-down ambitions you wear and the dreams that no longer belong to you.

i want to tell you about what my childhood bedroom smelled like and the books i read that made me able to fall in love with you. i want to tell you about the girl who gave me my favorite nickname and the poems i wrote about you before we even met.

i want to tell you why my favorite color is cerulean blue like its complicated but really its because its the color of the sky and your eyes and the sweater andy wears in the devil wears prada because that's the kind of person i am.

thanks for including me j 🥰

join in: @littleroaes @sanaxo-o @mosviqu @winterchimez @hyungseos-cafe @astrae4 @mars101 @snowflakewhispers

UWAHHH i found this super cute picrew so i had to start a lil tag chain !! ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝

tags <3 ( no pressure )

@dira333 @lowkeyremi @verahella @y2kuromi @lu-naes @omitea @sweetfushi + anyone else who would like to join !!

[teaser] love me unconditionally | the boyz kim sunwoo

pairing » the boyz kim sunwoo x fem!reader​

trope/au » ​friends to lovers, non-idol au!, school au!

genre (teaser only) » fluffy fluff fluff, very much hurt and comfort, angst, sunwoo is so patient and loving with the reader, a snippet of an amusement park 'date', sunwoo is whipped for the reader because i love making the idol whipped for the reader (hehe), lots of hand holding because i find that so cute, kim sunwoo who only has eyes for you

word count; estimated reading time » 2438; ~9 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » reader is insecure about her ability to keep friendships (this will be more evident in the full story!!), proofread once with slight jetlag

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

honestly...this is the start of a part of me that not a lot of people (even those in real life) don't know about. this story is so hard to write and i wanted to fully finish this for dbn's love letter event but the nature of the topic in which this story comes from is heavy to write about and it does take a lot of my energy. i decided to post a little bit first to encourage myself that i can do it and in a way, congratulate myself in doing this because this story is the main reason why i started writing from the very beginning. i told myself that i wouldn't stop writing until at least i post this one and i guess that day is slowly coming.

i'm sorry if this short part is unclear and leaves you a lot of questions because as much as i have the whole plot idea, i haven't written some scenes. even this one may change (oh, and the banner as well) but i hope it's somewhat understandable.

i don't want to necessarily say when i'll get the full one out but i will try my very best for those who choose to stick around. and if you do, with all my heart, thank you so much 🫂

The mirror reflects your choice of outfit for the adventure-filled day. In the past, you remember always going after school, paying for the half-day ticket instead of a full one and the drop in price would be the reason that Sunwoo willingly tagged along with you; or at least that’s what he always told you because if you looked behind, you would see Sunwoo looking at the back of your head with sweetness dripping from his eyes. Even with the drop in price, you knew that it could be a somewhat regular trip but you didn’t want to make it too regular or else it would rid you of the fun of the whole amusement park concept. That’s why the consensus was once a month, sometimes more but never less. The food would be the same as the street food but would be different enough to the point that you could taste the difference between inside the park and outside.

You twirled in front of the mirror one last time, checking the back of your outfit. To your eyes, it’s simple but to someone else’s eyes, anything you wear would make his heart melt. It’s unfortunate that you’re unable to feel the same way that other people who love you would, and that’s why love is special but scary at the same time. With a final flick on your room’s light switch and the bag that rested on the curve of your shoulder, you greet your mum and walk towards the meetup place in the amusement park. 

Your choice of outfit elicited a raised eyebrow from your mum, the elder nodding and eyeing your outfit up and down. When asked for thoughts, you found that it was the approval nod that you’re thankful for as you did spend some time ruminating about as you’re used to the old, everyday, boring school uniform. In addition, when your mum heard that you’re out with Sunwoo, she made sure to know that you treat him well. It’s heartwarming to see Sunwoo receiving much love from your mum and with a final ‘have fun’ wish, you’re off for the rest of the day.

Sunwoo sent a text as soon as you stepped out and locked the front door, apologising once more for not being able to pick you up from your house and you couldn't help but stare at the message. On the other side, the ‘read’ notification only made him nervous and his next message of a bunch of crying emojis depicts his apologetic nature. The wind blew your cheeks to cool the heating temperature at his playful nature and you quickly texted reassurance to him.

You couldn't believe that holding a hand out to stop the bus would be so exciting. You couldn't believe that seating on the rarely washed seats could be comfortable. You couldn't believe that you were seeing the familiar pathway to a place you used to visit a dozen times a year and that you remembered the way you let your body sway to the turns of the bus. 

The closer the bus heads towards your destination, the more it gets crowded with differing ages filling the small space. The weekend is bustling and so will the park but at least you have a full day. You didn't need to be the one to indicate the driver to stop at the designated stop as a pair of smaller hands did it for you. You're seated at the front of the bus but you sit patiently and wait for others to board first, not forgetting to thank the driver when you do.

The moment your two feet step out of the bus, you're greeted by your company for the rest of the day. He stood not too far away, occupied by his phone and unoccupied with the wind thrashing his hair strands all messily. Sunwoo is unbothered by the whispers of those who throw compliments at him and bows politely when asked for his number. A comfortable set of denim jacket, black jeans and white shirt is his attire and he chose to wear his black-framed glasses that you remember picking out with him.

As much as Sunwoo has been receiving attention for the past hour, he knows the difference between the attention he wants and the attention that he doesn’t. His gut feeling is never wrong when it comes to looking up to meet your eyes staring back at him. The phone in his hand is pocketed in his pants and he jogs his way to you, fluffy bangs hitting his forehead in excitement at the sight of you.

“You’re here,” he says as he takes a final step in front of you. You didn’t even get a chance to nod or speak anything because he took a hand of yours in his, wrapping his fingers around yours. Your stutter didn’t falter his train of thoughts, “I got the tickets! Let’s go!”

“W-Wait, what?” Eyebrows knitted at the change of routine, “What do you mean you got tickets?” His free hand fishes in his other pocket and he pulls out two official entries to the park, a grin on his face when you stare at the unexpected papers in his hand.

“My turn,” Sunwoo says, knowing what you're about to say next. Because going to the park has always been something that you enjoyed, you've always paid the entry tickets but not this time. “I wanted to be here today.”

“Sunwoo–”

“You can pay next time,” hopeful for your answer. He searches for any signs of happiness in your eyes but yours is still filled with doubt and that made his lower lips droop, “Please let me?” Gulping his nerves down, “Please don’t let this be the last time. I hope this can become routine again.” Sunwoo’s eyebrows form a little mountain-like shape and his pouts stretch into a soft, small smile. 

Before you know it, your neck cranes down and back up, nodding in defeat and taking a mental note to pay for everything else for the day. You didn't expect Sunwoo to be so radiant at your answer for he punches the air with hollers of excitement and hops of joy. You're reminded of how his smile lights up your world and his actions are more than capable of lighting up the world. With the hold of his hand on yours, he leads you to take the tickets to be officially used.

The park changed minimally, with the biggest change being the merch being displayed at the store near the entrance. The lingering buttered popcorn and the spice seasoning of churros stayed the same and you hoped that the recipe was the same as you kept your eyes on it even when your legs moved further in the park. Turning your head to the other side is more merch and cotton candy swirled into animal shapes.

“I want one!” Sunwoo dragging you along to the fluffy sugar. Without hesitation, he chose the bear one contrary to your expectations against the raccoon one, “Bear hugs,” he says once again after reading your mind, “You give me the best bear hugs.”

“Oh…” dazed at the simple but fluttering emotions behind his words.

Sunwoo nods enthusiastically and takes a big chunk of the piece. You failed to hold your laugh when it smeared all over his lower face. 

“It's because I don't have any free hands!” Lifting your joined hands to prove his point, “And I don't want to let go of you.”

When did he learn to sweet talk like this? When did he become so confident and bubbly like this? When did he learn to make your heart beat so fast despite looking like a bit of a mess? When did he become so loving through his actions and words that it's hard for you to let go of his hand even if you wanted to?

Sunwoo pokes his tongue out to retrieve the blue cloud on his nose and you choose to give him an audience about it, chuckling behind your small scarf at his attempts. “Here,” you lightly brush past his skin with your fingers, “All gone.”

Like a deer caught in the headlights and an animated character with his cheeks full of food, Sunwoo tries to register the irregular and fast pace of his beating heart. The sugar in his mouth dissolves quicker than he has been consuming it with how he stuffs his mouth with the fine grains of sugar whenever his mouth is empty. You couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at how he looked at you with boba-like wide and glossy eyes while you also found it hard to even look away. Sunwoo takes the opportunity of having extended eye contact with you by ducking his head closer to you.

Unconsciously, his throat became dry and his ability to swallow became harder. His eyes trailed from your eyes, following the slope of your nose and Cupid’s bow to the gap between your lips. At first, you were slightly slow to follow but when you copied the path of his eyes with your own with Sunwoo’s face, your heartbeat could no longer be controlled. 

No one registered the minimising gap between your two faces, and consequently bodies. Your body froze, not in a bad way because it’s Kim Sunwoo, but in a way where you just don’t want to. If Sunwoo wanted to come closer, you wouldn’t oppose him. The safety that he provided you with is reassured by the way your fingers wrapped his hand tighter. Sunwoo became so close that the overgrown front strands of his hair tickled the tip of your nose with the wind. 

You only watch his lips while he watches yours. His bottom lip is trapped between the rows of his teeth and unconsciously you copy him out of nervousness.

“Come on,” he whispers, still unable to take his eyes off your lips, “Let’s go somewhere first.”

It was hard to pull away first, especially when he knows exactly what he feels for you but for him, your comfortability with him will always come first. He just gained precious time with you, rebuilding your friendship once more and as much as Sunwoo wants to take it a step further, he’s aware of how everything is different to the past. He longs for the same type of relationship once more, but things change and so does time; but never his feelings for you.

The back of Sunwoo’s head became harder to view after that, your mind racing with thoughts as he took you to wherever he said he would take you first. You watch as the ground turns from the beige-bricked floors to the wooden-like installed tiles. Only then did you realise that the light is no longer natural and the outline of your shadow becomes clearer. The familiar scent of the air freshener finally made you look up and you’re faced with a variety of character hand bands arranged on the spinning shelf.

“What about this?” His index points to the raccoon headband on his hair. Your eyes grew wide for the opinion he was asking for and you gave a stuttering nod. Sunwoo pouted, worried about his past actions. His thumb brushes against the back of your hand soothingly, “I’m sorry.”

“What…are you talking about?” Why is he apologising? What for–

Sunwoo lets go of your hand, pocketing his to keep the warmth that you once gave him. Your eyes grew wide, hands still in the position he left you. Looking up from your hand, the boy gives a nervous chuckle.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he tries his best to nonchalantly shrug but you can tell from the way his eyes didn’t even bother to look your way, that it’s weighing on him a lot.

Your fingers curl towards your palm and your lips pinches itself into your mouth. You shake your head, hoping that he’ll be able to see it from his peripheral and you try to refute through voice but nothing is coming out.

“Just…tell me if I’m being too mu–”

You stop him this time by lifting both your palms to cup his cheeks, turning his face away from the mirror to you instead. One shake, two shakes and three from your head, “Never you,” you breathe out softly, “I’m just…nervous…not in a bad way though.”

“Oh…” Sunwoo is glad to hear this insight from you, “Me too. You make me nervous like crazy.” he admitted with a gaze full of affection, “In a good way though,” he quickly added.

“All those years before as well?”

“Yeah,” he nods his head to further prove his point. Both his hand comes up to take your hands away from his face. Sunwoo puts them both between you and he continues his actions from before, gliding his thumbs on the back of your hand. “We never held hands back in the past,” and he stopped for a while, wondering if it was the right time to say this. He shuts his eyes tight and blurts out, “But I wish that we did.”

And you just couldn’t ignore this. You just had to ask with every bit you had in you, “Why…?”

Sunwoo shakes his head again and this time you’re beyond confused about what he’s trying to convey. You’ve never seen him so hesitant about his words before and this new sight made it hard for you to possibly string his thoughts into words, not wanting to say the wrong words and assume wrong assumptions of his feelings. You join as you watch the way Sunwoo smooths the pad of his thumb over you, the corner of your lips rising as you focus on the weighted-like blanket of him.

“When you left, the only thing that could keep my hands warm was my other hand or by stuffing them inside some fabric. Even then, it would never be as comfortable as what you would provide me,” and how badly you wanted to agree with him without words, “And you always said that,” finally his hands stopped moving against yours, “When life gets too much,” stepping next to you so that he could hold your hand better, “That you would always hold my hand,” his grip is more secure now, “And tell me that I don’t have to carry anything alone,” he lifts the alternating view of his fingers with yours, “So just like you’ve done that for me all those times,” bringing the back of your hand to his lips, “Lean on me and let me carry some of yours."

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...'

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here or removed!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿 @whipped-kpop-creators 📝💛 @blankjournal 💭✒️ @sanaxo-o

hi izzy,

I hope you don't mind me doing this on anon but I just wanted to say in response to the two anons who seemed to have a problem with your work that there is absolutely nothing wrong in the nature of the topics that you're choosing to write about. You're neither approaching it insensitively nor are you forcing your content upon anyone and that's actually quite important because anyone who chooses to engage with it is therefore doing so of their own free will like those anons seem to have done.

You've even addressed the issue of content warnings too to make sure that people know what they'll be getting into so honestly, there's not much more you can do beyond that if they choose to continue reading. But you, having taken those actions, would already know that.

I've not read through all of your works (which is a damn shame) but even I have to acknowledge the importance of the topics that you address in your personal series. Not all fiction (fan made or not) exists to perpetuate typical notions of romance. And actually, it's so important to have media (whether it be in the form of books or whatnot) that addresses mental health and other such topics in order to circulate and normalise those discussions. It's so easy for people to say they advocate for mental health, etc. but when someone does something that could positively impact the field, they're quick to reject it because it's uncomfortable for them. Life isn't always comfortable for everyone and THAT'S the reality of it.

And the notes about how writing isn't meant to reflect reality, etc. is absolute nonsense. The whole point of writing is that authors put to paper the words they wish to read or the stories they want to share. It's not an exclusive field. And you're doing just that. Sure, your work may not give everyone the escape they want but you never claimed it did. Plus, not everyone engages in reading to escape. Some people read to be comforted, to relax, or simply because they want to. And your work is so important for the former.

Most importantly, it helped you! Writing is your outlet and no one should be allowed to take that from you simply because it doesn't meet their standards of what writing should or shouldn't be. It would be a shame for anyone to lose literary integrity simply because people don't understand how impactful your words can be to the people that read it and those that need it (and that includes yourself).

I really hope they don't discourage you from writing not now and not ever because honestly, from what I have read so far, it's important for you but also for others that you're able to put the work you want out there.

Anyways, I wish you all the best for the future and sorry for my messy rant!

hi anon 🥹 i'm sorry i'm responding this encouragement of yours pretty late 😭 i wanted to make sure i wrote a really nice reply back with all the points you made here, making sure that i convey my gratefulness to you for this 💝

i remember reading this for the first time and my first reaction was to panic first because well...as you mentioned in your ask, i haven't had the best times with anon asks 🥹 in saying that! anons like you and others have come to my inbox to send my encouragements and i'm really glad for you all 🫂

thank you for supporting in the topic that i write about, i really appreciate this ❤️‍🩹 mental health is still such an interesting topic when being talked about in public. in a closed off space, for example, between friends or between a professional, it just stays there but open the door just a little bit, and somewhere in the crowd, you'll see someone glaring at you for talking about it. i grew up knowing nothing about it and so moving to a culture where it's heavily emphasised is something that i'll always be thankful for. being able to talk about it has helped me so much and that's why i choose to write these and i don't see myself stopping to write about these. but of course, content warnings!! thank you for acknowledging that i'm doing all i can for this 🫂

i see the way topics of mental health have developed in my life and for me, it's touching that most people are now able to talk about it without being judged and i genuinely think it should be like that going forward. i do understand how these topics can be uncomfortable but that's why i think setting boundaries are key. for writing, i do this through warnings, for friendships and conversations, i ask about how in-depth i can talk about each topic.

concealing it, ignoring it and/or stopping to talk about these topics will only make it worse. and this goes with anything that should be talked about more.

when i first started writing, i knew that i wanted to talk about these kinds of things but i was too scared to jump into it straight away. that's why it was really hard for me to release cupid's mistake because the main idea of that story is a part of me that not even everyone in real life knows about me. it has always been a goal for me to connect with my readers a bit further by explaining the background of the story and how it relates to me. i think this step further is important for telling people that they're not alone if they're facing similar issues; because that's how the people around me has helped me in my mental health journey.

i thought about why i was scared at first but i decided to go for it and i told myself: if people judge me because of this, then they don't have to read it!! it's similar in real life where if people judge me over this, then they don't have to be around me or be my friend. it's as simple as that to me. i can see why readers who don't write think that stories could lean towards being written not based on reality but you're correct anon, it's not an exclusive field and everyone reads for different reasons 🥹🫂 just the same as how writers will write for different reasons. for me, it has always been to talk about these topics and provide comfort. but yes, not all my writings are centred around that because i still love other genres too!!

writing has helped me in ways that i never thought of and for me, it's a healthy hobby that i hope will continue to be 💜 i'm even thinking of taking a unit on creative writing next semester but we shall see about that!! 🥰 if i do, hopefully i can make the quality of my writing better!! 🫶

thank you so much for supporting my work, anon 💝 genuinely, this gave me so much comfort and it's not messy at all by the way! i think this response is messier 😭🤣😭 i have no idea who you are, if we're mutuals, or if we have ever interacted before but if someday you're ever ready to reveal yourself, i just want to give you the biggest hug but for now, here you go: 🫂🫂🫂🫂 thank you for making me feel welcomed and loved in this community 💕

all the best to you too!! have an awesome rest of the day/night!! ☀️🌙

tw: mentions of calling emergency services

one of the things that i'm thankful about australia is the fast, free access to immediate mental health support. i've been feeling really stressed the past couple of days and have been feeling too heavy to talk about it with my friends and family. i think i desperately needed someone that i didn't know at all to talk to.

the last time i called kid's helpline was just a little more than a year ago and i think the service was pretty busy because i was on hold for 15 mins 😭 i forgot about lifeline (not sure how!) and got put through to someone within 30 seconds. the 45 mins talk was really helpful so i'm feeling pretty light right now.

and whoever is reading this, i hope you're always well supported 🫂

"Dangers exist all around us. You put yourself at risk when you go out the house and into the sun. Australia has one of the highest skin cancer incidences and highest fatalities for road accidents. But you don't let that stop you and it shouldn't let it stop you from living your everyday life...Traveling opens a wide, new perspective that you will never be able to get anywhere else. Every country has its own dangers and cautions to be careful of but you have to go live your life."

Lifeline Support Team Member