So...I, Temporarily, Deactivated My Instagram Account Just Now. I Also Wanted To, Temporarily, Deactivate

So...I, temporarily, deactivated my Instagram account just now. I also wanted to, temporarily, deactivate my Facebook, but then I remembered I helped run a page for a club I was in last year. This page still, occasionally, gets liked to this day. I’m not 100% sure how deactivating would affect the visibility of this page, so I’m just going to leave my account alone and, instead, log out out and delete the app from my phone. 

I still feel pretty good about Insta though. Honestly, out of all my social media, this one causes me the most pain (lol). I found myself checking it more constantly. I would attribute this to the fact that the semester ended a couple of weeks ago, which has left me with more free time. I found myself comparing my life with other people’s lives a lot more than usual. This made me start feeling bad about myself and even made me forget about my own recent accomplishments. I also checked the page of someone I should not be checking on (I just know my friends are going to scold me when I tell them about this). This is, mostly, because it always ends with me getting my feelings hurt when I do. Long story short...did not go well. I saw something I wish I didn’t see that ended up crushing my self-esteem even more (learned my lesson).

Anyway, I think I really do need this break from social media (excluding tumblr of course). I’m going to use these next few months to really focus on myself. I’m going to make my physical, mental, and spiritual health top priorities this summer. 

ig @ _youthclub

Somehow my dash is dead!! ACTIVE as of April 2022 health/fitblrs please like/reblog for a follow? Especially if you post any of the following -

Yoga

Bicycling

Non weight loss focused fitness (more focused on strength and NSVs)

Whole food healthy nutrition

Food allergy awareness (it’s harder getting macros right with so many diet restrictions!)

Spirituality/witchy stuff is always welcome too 😁

13 May 2022

My dog died 2 days ago and I’m still heartbroken.

Honestly, it feels so surreal knowing that I’m never going to see her again. 

I’ll never hear her barking at the birds whenever they’re hanging out on the lawn or at whatever neighbor’s cat that’s strolling along our fence.

When I step inside my house, I’m never going to see her rushing over to greet me. 

I’m never going to be able to take her on walks again.

Or pet her.

Or see her lie down by my feet in my room, while I’m watching tv or playing video games or doing homework.

I’m never going to be able to take her hiking like I had always wanted to, but never found the time to (now I’m really wish I had...)

It probably seems silly to some people to be feeling so emotional over a dog, but she wasn’t just a dog. She was basically family. She joined my family when when she was just a few weeks old. We basically raised her and I had some milestone years with her as well. To top it all off, she was going to turn 11 years old this month...

I know bigger dogs don’t live as long as smaller dogs, but I was really hoping I had at least a couple more years with her. With me moving back to my family home, since I graduate soon, I was looking forward to being home more often. Instead of having to go back and forth between two cities because of work and school.

I feel so bad because I feel like I didn’t have enough time with her. Like I said, the past few years, I was not consistently with her because of work and school. 

Now she’s gone and I’m never going to get that lost time back.