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14 July 2021 (Long post ahead. TBH this is mostly for myself, but feel free to read if you want to.)

So...it’s been over a month since I started taking my fitness and health journey a little more seriously. I was on top of it for 3 weeks, but idk...After the 30th of June (which is the last time I stepped foot in the gym), I completely lost the motivation to keep working out. I haven’t even been going on walks either, which was something I started to look forward to and enjoy. Granted, the walk thing could be attributed to the weather. It’s gotten so hot that even at 5am, it’s already 95 degrees or higher. However, with the gym thing?...I’m really disappointed in myself. On top of that, my diet has been awful this week. 

My body image has been beyond terrible. Monday was the worst I have felt about myself in a while. Even though I was hanging out with one of my lovely best friends, all I could think about was how my body looked in the dress I was wearing and if people were judging my appearance. I ended up wearing a jacket over the whole thing because I was so self-conscious. 

Today, I’ve started to get back on track. The first thing I did this morning was meditate and repeat some of the many affirmations I have written down for myself. I have been lacking in keeping up with this and I plan to be more consistent in the near future. On top of this health and fitness journey, I’ve also been on a spiritual journey, which has also had a lot of ups and downs this past year and is a whole other thing that I will not get into today lol 

I also ran some errands that I have been procrasting on doing. I had a salad for lunch (go me lol). I cleaned out my fridge, which I needed to do because I have not been home for a while and a majority of the items in there were expired. Now all is left is to go grocery shopping, which I plan to do tomorrow morning. I’m planning to put my dusty crockpot to use (if the food I make turns out good, I’ll share a picture of it). 

Sorry for the long post. Again, this was mostly for me. I really want this blog to be a realistic place I feel free to share my journey, both the positive and negative. 

This week was more on the negative side, but that’s okay. Tomorrow is another day :)

19 July 2021

Happy (and proud) to announce that your girl made it to the gym today :) Getting back into my routine was, surprisingly, easier than I thought it would be.

As for what I’ve been doing for my routine, I’ve been continuing with my slightly modified version of the tik tok famous 12330 workout. If you’re not on tik tok or just haven’t heard of the workout, the 12330 workout is a treadmill workout that was created by Lauren Giraldo. Basically, you walk on the treadmill on an incline of 12, speed of 3, for 30 minutes. I’ve been doing a 10330 (Incline 10, speed 3, for 30 minutes). I plan on working my way up, incline wise. I also plan on incorporating additional forms of cardio, such as the stairmaster and elliptical, just to switch things up and to make sure working out doesn’t get to tedious for me. 

I also started incorporating weight training last month. Mind you, I am not an expert. I just do what each weight machine says and I pick the ones that target the muscles I’m trying to work. 

I’m sure there will be more days and weeks where I have little to no motivation. But, I will just try to push through them, as I did this time around, and listen to my body and gauge how I feel as time goes on.

For now, what I’m doing works for me. I will post more details (e.g. types of weight lifting, diet, etc) when I start to see the results I’m aiming for and when I become more confident with sharing. :)

Stay well, friends.

27 September 2021

Hey ya’ll.

It’s been a while (over a month to be exact). Sorry for the really inconsistent posting. Everytime I feel like I finally have it together again, something else happens or gets in the way. That’s life, I guess...

Anyway...I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting this past week. This post is going to be another one of me ranting/rambling, so feel free to scroll on (or read on).

I really want to get back into my fitness routine again. I’ve been feeling so sluggish, lately. I know that’s partly because I have not done a lot of physical activity since the last time I posted. The most I move around is when I’m on campus for class, which still counts for something, given how awful I have been feeling, but still...I know can do better. Though, I also know it’s important to not put so much pressure on yourself, but sometimes that’s easier said than done. 

I’m just really tired of always feeling this way...always feeling like I’m not good enough and that all my problems would be solved if I finally just lost the stupid weight already...but I have to remind myself that, even when I was thinner, life was not necessarily made any easier. My self-worth should not be so closely tied to my clothing size...

Last week, I made the decision to start focusing on myself. I deleted some contacts (and blocked some others). I decorated my room, which I’ve been wanting to do for the past year now. I caught up on my school work. I hung out with one of my best friends (we got Thai food and talked for hours). 

I even made a whole “glow up” plan for myself. However, when I say glow up, I don’t mean just my appearance. 

I want to glow up as a person in general. I want to be content with myself and be content with being alone. I want to connect more with myself more. I want to take myself on dates. I want to be more consistent with my spirituality. I want to meditate more and pray more. I want to start and end every day with reciting affirmations. I want to start writing in my journal again. I want to stop comparing myself to other people. I want to learn how to love myself. I want to validate myself without needing other people to do so for me. I want to do things I’ve always been afraid of doing because of posssible judgement (e.g. pierce my nose, get a tattoo (or several), change my hair, etc). I want to feel good about myself. I want to stop feeling like there is something wrong with me everytime a guy I fall for treats me horribly, leads me on, leaves me for someone else, or, simply, changes their mind about me. I want to stop always feeling like everything is my fault and that I don’t deserve to be happy. I want to do all of these things and more. 

I’m going to do all of these things and more.

I have, honestly, lost myself. I can’t really pinpoint the exact moment this started, but, over the past few years, I have really lost myself...

Here’s to finding her again.

26 March 2021-Life Updates

Sooo...it’s been over a month since I last made a personal post on here. So, here are some life updates:

1. I have been very (extremely) inconsistent with both working out and maintaining a healthier diet. This year has really been kicking my ass. There is so much I have to do in preparation for the end of this semester. I know that is not an excuse, but I really don’t have any other reason to explain me slacking. I’m just so tired all the time. No matter when I go to bed and how much sleep I get, I still feel exhausted. I’m so stressed and burnt out at this point, but I can’t stop yet. I still have like 5 more weeks. But, those 5 weeks seem so far away.

2.  I’ve been actively planning my future. Anything to keep me going and to give me something to look forward to. I’ve been applying to jobs. I, recently, started budgeting and keeping better track of how much I spend each month. I made a list of places I would love to visit one day. I made another list consisting of things I want to try (pole dancing sounds especially fun). I even made a list of books I want to read within these next few months.   

3. I’ve been working on putting myself first. I’ve been, slowly, setting better boundaries with people and being more mindful about my own time and needs. I definitely worry so much (too much) about other people and what they think of me. I’m constantly worried about losing people. I’m always afraid that the people I love are going to get sick of me one day and realize they don’t want to be in my life anymore and no longer want me in theirs. It’s happened before, not even once or twice...I work so hard to make sure I don’t do anything that upsets people. I have realized that I, often, go out of my way to make others happy at the expense of my own happiness. I give so much grace to to people who would, no doubt, drop me the moment I make 1 mistake. And...I’m not saying you shouldn’t drop people. If that’s what brings you peace, definitely set those boundaries with those who are draining you and are toxic for you. What I mean is that I find myself letting people get away with talking to me and treating me in ways that they, themselves, would not tolerate. So...why on earth am I tolerating it, you know? Why can’t I set boundaries with people too? Why do I always have to feel guilty for putting myself first for once? I shouldn’t feel guilty for putting myself first and neither should any of you.

Anyway, this is just me rambling. Today, I cleaned out my fridge and went through my cupboards. I’m going to go grocery shopping tomorrow. I plan on buying actual food. Not just quick snacks I can take with me on the go. My goal is to cook an actual meal tomorrow night. I think I’m also going to find time to do a light workout or even just go for a walk. I really want to start feeling like myself again.

Progress Report (28 March 2022)

TW: weight

So...this morning, when I was updating my stats in MyFitnessPal (which I haven’t done in almost a year), I realized that I’m 17 pounds lighter than I was last year in May 2021. Sometime between towards the end of December 2021 and the beginning of this year, I made the decision to stop focusing so much on calories. I’ve shifted my focus on eating more intuitively and on how the food I eat makes me feel. I have also not been actively weighing myself. I think the last time I stepped on a scale in my own home was over a year ago. The only reason why I know how much I weigh now is because I had a doctor’s appointment a few days ago.

I feel good because I hadn’t realized that I’ve made that much progress so far. I knew I had made some, since some of my favorite clothes weren’t fitting as tightly, but I had assumed it was probably just from bloating less.

I really hope I continue to see this trend. I’m also hoping that since it’s taking longer than I’m used to, it’ll be more sustainable in the long run :)

18 May 2022- Another Life Update (This time a happy one)

Well, I did it ya’ll. I have, officially, graduated.

These past couple of years have been rough, but I’m really proud of myself. Grad school is already hard on its own. Grad school with a pandemic AND a bunch of negative things happening in your personal life? Don’t get me started...

Anyway, I’m (cautiously) looking forward to what my future holds. So far, I’ve been able to cross off a few things from the vision board I made on New Year’s Eve. I’m determined to cross off more soon.

Also, with school out of the way, I think this is the perfect time to get back on track with my health and fitness goals. I haven’t stepped foot inside a gym in MONTHS. I’m actually looking forward to restarting tomorrow.

I know I’ve done this several times already. I used to feel embarrassed every time I would post about having another setback on here. But, you know what? I’ll restart 100 times if that’s what it takes to get to where I want. 

So, here we go again :)

So...I, temporarily, deactivated my Instagram account just now. I also wanted to, temporarily, deactivate my Facebook, but then I remembered I helped run a page for a club I was in last year. This page still, occasionally, gets liked to this day. I’m not 100% sure how deactivating would affect the visibility of this page, so I’m just going to leave my account alone and, instead, log out out and delete the app from my phone. 

I still feel pretty good about Insta though. Honestly, out of all my social media, this one causes me the most pain (lol). I found myself checking it more constantly. I would attribute this to the fact that the semester ended a couple of weeks ago, which has left me with more free time. I found myself comparing my life with other people’s lives a lot more than usual. This made me start feeling bad about myself and even made me forget about my own recent accomplishments. I also checked the page of someone I should not be checking on (I just know my friends are going to scold me when I tell them about this). This is, mostly, because it always ends with me getting my feelings hurt when I do. Long story short...did not go well. I saw something I wish I didn’t see that ended up crushing my self-esteem even more (learned my lesson).

Anyway, I think I really do need this break from social media (excluding tumblr of course). I’m going to use these next few months to really focus on myself. I’m going to make my physical, mental, and spiritual health top priorities this summer. 

13 June 2022

So...last month, a couple of my friends and I created our own 90 Day “Glow Up” challenge. We created goals that we wanted to accomplish together (e.g., trying a new recipe each week, working out 4-5 times a week, etc.). Additionally, we each created individual goals that we want to work towards during this time frame. Unlike some of the challenges I have seen gain popularity on social media (e.g., tik tok, insta, etc.) a component we added was that if you “mess up” or are inconsistent one day, you just try again the next day. There is no restarting or punishing ourselves. Instead, we will check in with ourselves, reflect on what’s working and what hasn’t been working, and then keep trying. We, officially, started our challenge on May 30, 2022 and will complete it on August 31, 2022. 

I have decided to start making accountability posts pertaining to my individual goals on this blog. My friends and I have been keeping up with each other on a shared google doc that we used to outline all the “rules” of our challenge. However, there have been days where I have not been as consistent as I want to be. I feel that making additional posts here will help me to stay on track. 

I also want to emphasize that with this challenge, the focus is not just on physical health. Additionally, instead of being stuck on losing weight, my personal aim is to build up my strength and increase my endurance. I also want to focus on my mental and spiritual health. Basically, my main goal is to really work on loving and being kinder to myself and my body. I’m using this summer to focus on myself and improve myself for, you guessed it, myself.

My next post will be my first accountability post for this week. Stay tuned :)

Accountability Post #1 (13 June 2022)

Today was leg day (my favorite day :D) 

Before we get to my workout, though, I want to stress that, when I exercise, I do not aim for burning a specific amount of calories. My main goal is to move my body in some way, at least 4 to 5 times a week, for at least 30 minutes each session. I have found that, for me, personally, focusing too much on how many calories I am burning makes my workouts a lot less fun. I’m trying to relieve stress, not add to it.

Anyway...  

My workout consisted of:

1. 3-minute warm up on the stairmaster (trying to work up to around 5-10 minutes...3 is all I can handle for now lol)

2. 22 minutes of weightlifting (I, typically, aim for 15-20 minutes)

3. 20-minute hill workout on the treadmill, followed by a 5 minute cool down

In the past, I have always completed the cardio part of my workout first before moving on to weights. However, since the end of last month, at the advice of some gym bros (lol), I have been doing weights at the beginning and then cardio. So far, I feel great. It has taken some getting used to, but I’m starting to think I prefer this order. I feel that I am able to put in more energy and effort into the weightlifting portion of my workouts and still have awesome cardio sessions after. 

I finally have a routine. Once I start seeing results that actually show that this routine is working, I will definitely be sharing.

Now, I’m going to go shower, drink some tea, then go to bed. :)

Accountability Post #2 (20 June 2022)

I did not make it to the gym. However, my Fitbit registered all of the cleaning and packing I got done today as “swimming.” That counts...right? (lol)

Additionally, I made it to 10,000 steps. Honestly, this has been a very rare occurrence, given the fact that I have been spending most of my time at home these past few weeks. So, I think today was still good. 

Also, I know that I was not consistent with my accountability posts last week (didn’t even last a day before becoming inconsistent lol). But, I’m not going to be hard on myself about that. I’m just going to try harder and continue to try. I’m really determined to not give up on myself this time around. 

Accountability Post #3 (21 June 2022)

Today was arm day. 

My workout consisted of:

1. 5-minute warm up on the elliptical

2. 29 minutes of weight lifting 

3. 20-minute hill workout on the treadmill + 5-minute cool down after

Since I had not done any arm workouts for over a week, I made sure to take it easy during the weight training portion of my workout. So, I did not go as hard as I would have normally liked to. However, I still think I had a great workout. I feel good and am looking forward to tomorrow (yay leg day).

Accountability Post #4 (22 June 2022)

Leg day!

Today’s workout:

1. 3-minute warm up on the stairmaster

2. 19 minutes of weights

3. 20-minute hill workout on the treadmill + 5-minute cool down after

I was unable to use all of the machines I usually incorporate into my Wednesday leg workouts. I ended up just using one of the other machines in my routine twice. Still feel good, though.

Accountability Post #5 (23 June 2022)

Arm day!

My workout consisted of:

1. 5-minute warm up on the elliptical

2. 23 minutes of weight lifting

3. 20-minute hill workout on the treadmill + 5-minute cool down after

Honestly, I almost didn’t go to the gym today. I had to remind myself of my fitness goals (and the fact that I pay for a monthly membership lol...). I ended up going later than I would have liked to, though. So, there were more people in comparison to these past few days. Thankfully, I was able to use all of the machines in today’s routine. 

I, most likely, won’t be able to go to the gym tomorrow. So, I’m going to go on Saturday instead. Tomorrow, I think I’ll try to go on a walk around the neighborhood or I might even see if my family’s old Wii still works and play Wii Fit (lol). Anything to get some movement.

Getting Back on Track

The past few weeks have been kind of difficult. I ended up getting off track with my fitness goals. Surprisingly, though, I have been able to stay on track with my eating. I’m not calorie restricting or anything (honestly, I stopped actively counting my calories a long time ago). I have just been making sure I focus on eating actual food and incorporating, at least, some servings of fruit and/or vegetables throughout each week. I also focus on how I feel after eating certain foods. If there is something specific I want or am craving, I just eat it. No big deal. Having a cookie (or 2) at lunch is not going to, suddenly, reverse everything I have done prior to this month. I think the fact that I pack my lunch almost everyday for work has also been helping me.   

Anyway, I really want to get back on track with the fitness component. I’ve stopped caring so much about weightloss. I just want to be strong (and to be able to do a pull up without any assistance lol). I also miss the gym in general. I actually got to the point where the gym was becoming a source of stress relief for me. With how life has been (e.g., personal stuff, the overall, disappointing state of the world, etc.) I think we all could benefit from finding those things that help us make it through each day.

I’m going to try to go to the gym tomorrow after work. It might be difficult to get back into my previous routine, but I’m ready. 

Accountability Post #1 (Starting Over)

Hey ya’ll....it’s been a WHILE.

Just a few life updates before I get to the health/fitness stuff:

-I have, officially, finished moving out of my apartment 

-I have, officially, finished moving back home (This is going to take some getting used to but I’ll be fine...plus I still have a bunch of stuff in boxes that I have yet to unpack...baby steps)

-I have been getting settled at my new, post-grad job

Overall, I finally feel a bit more grounded now (at least in comparison to the past two months lol). So, I’m ready to get back on track again and start taking better care of myself.

I’ve been putting so much time and energy into other people lately and neglecting myself. I’m disappointed that I let it get to this point, but I’m ready to redirect my focus and start investing some of that time and energy into myself and my goals...not just the health and fitness goals. I have a bunch of personal and professional goals that need attention...

I have not been to the gym in WEEKS. But, that’s okay. The past two months have been extremely hectic and I needed to take some time to deal with a lot of stuff...some of which I’m still dealing with but, everything will be okay in the end.

I didn’t go to the gym today, but I did manage to get over 10,000 steps. This is amazing for me because, usually, I average around 4,000 to 5,000 steps a day (less on the days I’m not working). 

I’m aiming to start going to the gym again tomorrow. With how my schedule is right now, the gym is going to have to be an after work thing. I know this will be difficult for me for a while because I have always preferred getting my workouts done in the morning....I mean I could try to go before work but, with how early I start, I would have to be going to the gym at 4 in the morning...which would mean having to wake up at 3 in the morning (No thank you lol).

Anyway, I’m going to read then go to bed.

Good night, everyone! Sending you all good vibes and energy for the rest of this week. :)

Accountability Post: 12 September 2022

Finally got myself back in the gym. I ended up going after dinner. This is going to take a while for me to get used to, as I, usually, prefer morning workouts.

Anyway…today was leg day!

This consisted of:

1. A two-minute warmup on the stair master (it would have been three minutes, but I was already starting to struggle at the 30-second mark lol I’ll get there eventually)

2. 18 minutes of weights (I usually aim for 15 to 20 minutes of weight lifting)

3. A 20-minute hill workout on the treadmill, followed by a five-minute cooldown

I didn’t go as hard as I would have liked to, but at least I did something. That’s enough for me 🤷🏾‍♀️

Now I’m going to go make some tea, read, and then head to bed. Good night, ya’ll!

Accountability Post- 2 January 2022

I completed my first workout of 2023 today. Pretty proud of myself. I, almost, didn’t go to the gym. I’m really glad I did. 

I decided to restart my slightly modified version of the tik tok famous 12330 workout. Last year, I mentioned this in a post where I, briefly, discussed what I had been including in my workout routine. So, the 12330 workout is a treadmill workout that was created by a social influencer named Lauren Giraldo. Basically, you walk on the treadmill on an incline of 12, speed of 3, for 30 minutes. I do a 10330 (Incline 10, speed 3, for 30 minutes). For some reason, in my head, an incline of 12 seems too intimidating (Honestly, an incline of 10 is still a lot for me, but I did it lol). 

Cardio-wise I’m still going to be doing the hill workouts I was doing last year (whenever I actually worked out). I think I’m just going to alternate between them and the 10330...just to add some variety, so I don’t get too bored.

Anyway...on to today’s workout...

Today was leg day (my fave):

1. 3-minute warm up on the stairmaster

2. 18 minutes of weights

3. 30 minutes on the treadmill (Incline 10; Speed 3) + a 5-minute cool down after

I’m feeling pretty great (and tired lol). Now, I’m going to read a couple of chapters of the first book in my 2023 reading list (All About Love by Bell Hooks), then I’m off to bed. 

Here’s to starting the year off strong :)