I Was Asked To Draw Young Goldenheart. Hands Kinda Suck, But I Think It Came Out Cute

I was asked to draw young goldenheart. Hands kinda suck, but I think it came out cute

A chapter from one of my AO3 fics that people really liked

TW: Mentions of self-harm

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Gaster traced his fingertips up and down his sleeve over where the scratch on his arm was hidden, barely even there now. It hadn’t been at all serious, so why did he feel the need to keep it hidden from everyone else? Sans, Papyrus…even Asgore…he hadn’t told any of them what had happened. Something about the whole situation felt like some dirty secret that you weren’t supposed to tell anyone.

Should he feel bad? Simple logic told him that if something felt like you weren’t suppose to do it, then you probably shouldn’t have been doing it. Yet…the pain had given him the first bit of relief from those nasty thoughts in his head. He’d even been able to manage some sleep afterwards. Why did this have to feel so damn confusing?

”Running around and keeping secrets…you’re quite the outstanding father, aren’t you?”

There it was again…almost like he’d accidentally summoned the wretched thing. His hand started to tighten around where the scratch was on his arm, feeling a sting of pain starting to work its way up his arm. The last thing he wanted was to have to hear that voice right now. If he could just get it to stop-

”But you can now…can’t you…”

It surprised him to hear the voice respond to his thoughts like that. He’d expected it to start breaking him down, and instead it…was was it saying? Was it telling him to make it be silent?

”You want me gone, then make me go away, you coward. Letting me stay here only proves that I’m right, that you deserve this.”

”Stop…” Gaster murmured, gripping tighter as his fingertips worked into his arm, starting to cause a steady ache.

”You want me gone, then make me leave.”

Gaster didn’t respond, hand tightening and fingertips digging in more. He could make it go away…he knew he could…it didn’t even have to take much. No one was here to notice if he dug another scratch into the bone of his arm. It could be so easy to just make it go away-

The knock on the door made Gaster jump so high that he nearly fell off of the sofa. He heard footsteps as Papyrus came to open the door, an excited smile on his face, and a backwards cap on his head. Seeing his youngest smile made Gaster forget about the thoughts plaguing him for the time being, and he found himself full of his usual curiosity and intrigue.

”Are you expecting someone, my son?” 

“The human, Frisk!” Papyrus exclaimed as he opened the door. Just as he said there was Frisk, holding a potted flower with golden petals and a face. The expression that it wore was a grumpy scowl.

”Hi, Paps!” Frisk giggled, stepping in, “Ready to go see that new movie?”

”Yes, just a moment!” Papyrus ran upstairs, and came downstairs with his older brother over his shoulder.

”Heya kiddo.” Sans said with a sleepy wink, “It’s quite eggscelent to see you.” Sans pulled out a wrapped up chocolate egg, handing it to the giggling kid. Papyrus just let out a wordless groan and set his brother down.

”Thanks for agreeing to watch Flowey, Sans.” Frisk handed over the rather upset looking plant over to the short skeleton, and proceeded to stuff the candy in their face.

”It’s no problem kiddo, you know-”

”You smell like moldy ketchup, you annoying trash bag.” Flowey commented without a single change in his expression.

Sans just rolled his eyelights, speaking in a sarcastic tone, “Nice to see you to, weed.”

”I am not a weed!” Flowey shouted, his voice becoming a bit more grating on the ears.

”Flowey,” Frisk crossed their arms and frowned, “You promised you’d behave. It’s your fault I can’t take you with me to the movies anyways. I told you not to threaten the lady selling the movie snacks.”

”She shouldn’t have forgotten the extra butter.” Flowey grumbled, crossing his leaves in front of his stem.

Gaster kept a tight smile on his face while the four began their light conversation, Flowey insisting that he was not to blame for being banned from the movies, despite the others listing off the ways he’d earned himself the permanent ban. He’d…honestly forgotten that his sons had lives outside of what happened while they were home. Being stuck in a wheelchair most of the time didn’t help him to really know much of what went on outside, other than his occasional trips out whenever Asgore came around.

”Like I’m worth the time…he must be so busy already without taking time to get me out of the house.”

Gaster shook his head lightly, trying to rid himself of these thoughts before they could get a hold on him. He refused to let them win right now, while his sons and this child were in the room. They looked so…happy…even the flower seemed to show some mild enjoyment being around them, even if he and Sans seemed to have a knack for getting on each others nerves.

”Why don’t you go with them, Sans?” Gaster found himself saying, “If you need someone to watch the flower, it’s not like I have anything better to do.”

”I have a name.” Flowey hissed.

”Are you sure, Dad?” Sans asked, “He can be a little difficult.”

”It’s okay, Dr. Gaster, I don’t wanna bother you while you’re still healing.” Frisk insisted, looking Gaster up and down, “You look a lot better than when I last saw you, by the way! I’m glad to see you’re doing better.” Now that Frisk had gotten to talk to Gaster previously, they didn’t feel so nervous around him, and Gaster found relief in that. He was glad to see that the child wasn’t afraid of him.

”Dad, you really shouldn’t-” Papyrus seemed nervous at the idea of leaving his father alone with the flower. He liked Flowey, but he knew the flower was a bit rough around the edges with strangers.

”It’s alright, you three. Go have fun, and I’ll keep an eye on him.”

Sans, Papyrus, and Frisk look between each other, seeming to have a silent discussion about the idea. Frisk shrugged, looking between the brothers, and then Sans and Papyrus looked between themselves. Flowey just rolled his eyes, finding everyone in the room as annoying as ever.

”Alright…” Sans came over and put Flowey on the coffee table, “Call if you need anything, okay?”

”I’ll be fine, Sans. Go have fun.” Gaster gave his son a smile, and seemed to ease Sans’s anxiety a bit.

”Alright. See ya later, Pops!” Sans waved as he followed Papyrus and Frisk out the door.”

”Bye, Dad!”

”Goodbye, Flowey! Bye, Dr. Gaster!” The door closed, leaving the plant and skeleton alone together.

”So…” Gaster looked Flowey up and down, “Do you require anything? I don’t really know much about sentient plants.” Gaster chuckled, but could hear just how awkward it sounded.

”Why are you doing this?” Flowey asked, starring Gaster down.

”What do you mean?”

”Why watch me? What do you get out of this?”

”I’m simply offering what little assistance I can while in my current condition.” Gaster shrugged, folding his hands in his lap.

”…the VOID really messed you up, didn’t it?” Flowey asked, not in a rude town, but simply curious.

”I-” Gaster wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that question. No one had just stated it like that before, just outright said what he already knew. It made him realize just how careful they’d been around him since his return, trying so hard not to upset him while he recovered.

”How pathetic…they have to treat you like an upset child…”

”I can see it in your face.” Flowey huffed, “And in how you sit. They don’t see it, except for the ketchup smelling trash bag, maybe. I think he suspects that something’s up with you. As much as I hate to admit it, he’s pretty perceptible when he wants to be.” It seemed to cause Flowey physical pain to admit that Sans was actually good at something.

”He always was a good reading people…” Gaster sighed, “You’re accusation is correct…the VOID left quite a few marks.”

”Yeah…” Flowey looked down at the table, “I’ve been there…”

”You have?” Gaster’s voice made Flowey’s head snap up, as if he hadn’t realized he’d said that out loud.

”I…” Flowey trailed off, then let out an awkward cough, “Yeah. I know how it feels to be in a place where you feel…like nothing you could ever do will fix anything. You could do good things, bad things, but it won’t change how you’re…broken.”

”I didn’t take you for the type to like talking.” Gaster admitted with a light chuckle.

”You tell anyone I told you this, and I’ll make sure you don’t ever get out of that chair.”

Something about this only caused Gaster to laugh a little harder, “Don’t worry about it. I would never speak a word of it to anyone.” Flowey knew that Gaster meant what he said, and something about that made him smile a little. He didn’t mind this skeleton, he didn’t get on his nerves so much.

”Would you like to watch a show? If not, we have some books to read. They’re mostly science books, but I believe there are some novels as well.”

”I…I don’t really…read…” Gaster would never have thought a flower could blush if Flowey hadn’t right then and there. Something about his face reminded Gaster of when his sons were younger and were trying to hide something from him.

”Flowey…can you read at all?”

Flowey let out a huff, “…no-” He admitted in a quite whisper.

”If you want…I wouldn’t mind teaching you.” Gaster offered a kind smile, and something about it seemed to soften Flowey up a bit.

”I…that sounds nice…”

———

“Dad, we’re-” Papyrus stopped halfway through his sentence when he saw what was going on.

”What is it, Papyrus?” Frisk asked, then stopped right beside him, Sans coming up beside them.

”Fluffy…bunny…loves…what’s that word?” Flowey asked, looking up at Gaster when he found a word on the colorful page that he couldn’t figure out.

”Try spelling it out first.”

Flowey looked back at the page, “C-A-R-R-O-T-S…care…car…carrots!” Flowey smiled brightly, “That says carrots!”

”Very good.” Gaster smiled, “You’re doing great, Flowey.”

”…do we let them know we’re here?” Sans asked a bit quietly.

Frisk looked absolutely ecstatic, “Nope! I’ve never seen him like this before! Let’s leave them alone for a little longer.”

”That sounds good to me.” Papyrus chuckled softly, “Let’s go up to my room for a bit. I just got some new action figures from Mettaton.” The three went upstairs, leaving Gaster and Flowey to continue there reading lessons.

”Fluffy…bunny…loves…his…fre-freends?”

”Friends. You have to remember the ‘ie’ makes it sound like ‘end’.”

”Friends…” Flowey found himself smiling, and looked up at Gaster, “Never thought I’d like that word.”

So um…I ended up drawing this…

YYYEEEEESSSSSS

Theory from my friend @raindropsoldiers , but I have permission to share it here:

Lucifer and Chloe have a nice life together, but when she dies he just goes back to Hell. After all, he doesn’t have his reason to be on earth anymore. Except right after he gets down there, Chloe flies down as an angel and takes him back up to Heaven 🥺

When Ao3 Is Down

Me: "Oh boy, I just got up, time to continue with Ao3 fic I was writing!" Ao3: *Is down because of Ddoss attack* Me: *lets out a primal scream* Me: "...fuck it, I'll post something on Tumblr.

So like does anyone just think of a good fic idea or fanart idea like, “Damn, that would be pretty good. Why has no one made it yet?”

Then you go, “Wait! I have the skill! I can do it, and it’ll be awesome! I love contributing to my fandom!”

Then you have no motivation or patience to do so…