So You See, Said The Royal Advisor, Wringing His Hands, The Curse States The Princess Will Die On The

“So you see,” said the Royal Advisor, wringing his hands, “the curse states the princess will die on the night before her twenty-fifth birthday–”

“Hang on,” said the princess, “‘ON the night before’–”

The Advisor nodded grimly.

“So what you’re saying is that, until that one specific date, I am effectively immortal?”

“Technically yes, but then–” the King stammered.

“Wow,” said the princess, who was sixteen and did not possess amazing impulse control. “I’m gonna go teach myself how to juggle chainsaws while hang gliding over shark-infested waters, catch you chuckleheads later.”

Non-traditional families are quite common these days, but yours might just be the strangest of them all. You were raised by the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse

im going to have a stroke

You wake up with two small lumps on your back, just around your shoulder blades. Your friend has a similar dilemma, however, theirs are on their forehead, and look like zits. Small horns protrude from theirs, while feathers come from yours.

Within a month, you have large, white, dove wings, while your friend has long, curly horns. Turns out, you’re an angel, they’re a demon, and you’re supposed to fight. But you both’d rather just go see a movie.

A tattooed snail.

How to create a character:

mash some things together until they resemble a concept

release the steering wheel

??? screaming ????

rescue what you can from the scene of the accident