Not Being Able To Do Things You Were Looking Forward To Cause Body Refuses To Sleep Or Wake Up For No

not being able to do things you were looking forward to cause body refuses to sleep or wake up for no reason sucks.

hesitant to see a psych cause they'd probs put me under watch [couldn't fault them, most of time is spent thinking about dying these days]. its hard to even just talk to people cause the feeling that i'm better off dead is so loud i end up shutting down.

attempts at being in a group in any way results in mind screaming, "They were better without you, you're just ruining it for others." and stressing till it's painful to breathe.

dunno whats wrong with head but wouldn't wish this on anyone

not being able to do things you were looking forward to cause body refuses to sleep or wake up for no reason sucks.

hesitant to see a psych cause they'd probs put me under watch [couldn't fault them, most of time is spent thinking about dying these days]. its hard to even just talk to people cause the feeling that i'm better off dead is so loud i end up shutting down.

have spent the past few days in bed either unconscious or tired enough to be. have a messed up Sou

Sabi based on the cover of Dispose by The Plot In You

This album fits her so well, the heavy and despairing atmosphere, distortion, lyrics about loss. RIGGED could straight up her theme, even has a heartbeat in the background. It's metalcore/post-hardcore but could say it feels more like a heavy post-rock sorta, and there's some softer songs on it [THE SOUND and DISPOSABLE FIX are alternative rock/ballad ithink]. also Landon's an incredible singer and worth trying for his voice alone

ALSO am seeing them [for Beartooth tour] in a few days anD GOD THE EXCITEMENT IS FUCKING EATING INSIDES. couldn't take off work that day tho so am gonna be dead af after lol

venting/me being depressed

one part about withdrawing is feeling like it'd be best to just quietly disappear. don't see why anyone would ever desire to talk to me, hardly have any value as a person. it's hard to see anything in future when you're thoroughly convinced you're going to die alone and deserve it. at this point am more just breathing than living, hope for body to not wake up again every time i go to bed.

am not at risk of doing anything btw, it's more that just waiting for it to be over sorta thing i guess.

I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR AN EXIT BUT I'M LOST INSIDE MY HEAD WHERE I SPEND EVERY WAKING MOMENT WISHING I WAS DEAD~♪

more uro butchering lyrics cause um. raisins.