Venting/me Being Depressed

venting/me being depressed

one part about withdrawing is feeling like it'd be best to just quietly disappear. don't see why anyone would ever desire to talk to me, hardly have any value as a person. it's hard to see anything in future when you're thoroughly convinced you're going to die alone and deserve it. at this point am more just breathing than living, hope for body to not wake up again every time i go to bed.

am not at risk of doing anything btw, it's more that just waiting for it to be over sorta thing i guess.

thanks for kind messages and stuff and just being patient with my depressed ass in general. sorry for not replying, i can put scrambled thoughts down but don't know how to talk to people right now. mind just sorta blanks out

trying to be better. trying ◠⸜⸝◠｡, in own defense it'd probs help if I could do this stupid dlmo test and get anywhere with sleep specialist instead of being a zombie due to sleep issues. guess here's some humor to sorta balance out the moping around

learned recently that an easy way to play punch harmonics is to go after the bassist.

also Marshall apparently makes fridges that look like this

bet there's been at least 1 instance of a guitarist being drunk or high and spending like 10 minutes trying to figure out why it's not working.

not being able to do things you were looking forward to cause body refuses to sleep or wake up for no reason sucks.

hesitant to see a psych cause they'd probs put me under watch [couldn't fault them, most of time is spent thinking about dying these days]. its hard to even just talk to people cause the feeling that i'm better off dead is so loud i end up shutting down.

⺣◡⺣ + 🝦_🝦

curious if I've ever accidentally made people think Debris was more popular than it is. Like, "Its brought up a good bit on tumblr", "That's because some fanboy never shuts up about it."

Against the wall, we fall from grace The pain we love is taking shape A burning lust to touch the flame Over and over again

Contemptress//Motionless In White [ily spooky trans ally Breaking Benjamin <3]

Find what you love and let it eat you. or something.

was originally gonna draw something cutsey, or at least semi-normal, for these two but eh. [funnily enough feel like this is more canon compliant than them smiling இᆺஇ`｡]

Happy Valentines day!

"Wait so if you're a bee for Halloween are you a furry? See that doesn't-thats- that sounds fucked up, that doesn't sound correct."

Seeing one of fav metalcore vocalists in a walrus onesie discuss whether or not crabs are animals was not something I realized I needed.