Imagine Youre Some Little Evil Woman Sitting In Hades Throne Room When Orpheus Walks In To Make A Deal

Imagine you’re some little evil woman sitting in Hades’ throne room when Orpheus walks in to make a deal to get Eurydice back, and Hades is like “yeah ok, just don’t look back otherwise she has to stay here” then walks out of the room. Almost immediately after hearing the conditions, Orpheus breaks his own neck so that it is physically impossible for him to turn it, and then demands that you gouge out his eyes for good measure. Eurydice then gets really upset because she’s convinced this is a sign that Orpheus hates her and never wants to see her again, and Orpheus is completely convinced that this was a normal and logical thing to do.

You are literally the only person in the universe who recognizes this as an act of love. They both then insult you to your face for thinking this is anything other than very normal (Orpheus), or petty hatred (Eurydice).

You are Ianthe Tridentarius.

i love how the narrators of the locked tomb series are like:

gideon: is not paying attention

harrowhark: has brain damage

nona: was born six months ago

we love variety in our unreliable narrators

i do find it hilarious that for most of gideon the ninth harrow is like “sextus your megatheorem idea is stupid. you’re jumping to conclusions. you have no evidence. your premises are flawed and your conclusion is both invalid and unsound. bitch.” and then when ianthe reveals the lyctoral process at the end of the book harrowhark is the FIRST PERSON to go “oh fuck. the megatheorem”

all the “harrow’s three weed smoking girlfriends” jokes are ten times funnier when you remember that the three weed smoking girlfriends are god’s daughter god’s girlfriend and god’s only saint

today im thinking about the huge buff bread guy from kikis delivery service. highly underrated guy

i don't know how many people know the existence of it, but this is genuinely:

a) one of the best covers of take me to church i've heard

b) made for the LOCKED TOMB??? like it is the entire animated sequence of gideon the ninth scenes that fit the cover so fucking well

THIS SONG WAS MADE FOR THIS ARE U KIDDING ME

THANK YOU REINAEIRY (AND HOZIER OF COURSE!!) FOR GRACING US WITH THIS MASTERPIECE