Today Im Thinking About The Huge Buff Bread Guy From Kikis Delivery Service. Highly Underrated Guy

today im thinking about the huge buff bread guy from kikis delivery service. highly underrated guy

i do find it hilarious that for most of gideon the ninth harrow is like “sextus your megatheorem idea is stupid. you’re jumping to conclusions. you have no evidence. your premises are flawed and your conclusion is both invalid and unsound. bitch.” and then when ianthe reveals the lyctoral process at the end of the book harrowhark is the FIRST PERSON to go “oh fuck. the megatheorem”

Imagine you’re some little evil woman sitting in Hades’ throne room when Orpheus walks in to make a deal to get Eurydice back, and Hades is like “yeah ok, just don’t look back otherwise she has to stay here” then walks out of the room. Almost immediately after hearing the conditions, Orpheus breaks his own neck so that it is physically impossible for him to turn it, and then demands that you gouge out his eyes for good measure. Eurydice then gets really upset because she’s convinced this is a sign that Orpheus hates her and never wants to see her again, and Orpheus is completely convinced that this was a normal and logical thing to do.

You are literally the only person in the universe who recognizes this as an act of love. They both then insult you to your face for thinking this is anything other than very normal (Orpheus), or petty hatred (Eurydice).

You are Ianthe Tridentarius.

i don’t think the emperor or any of his surviving original lyctors can possibly comprehend how grateful they should be for whatever harrow’s done to scoop gideon out of her brain because if harrowhark nonagesimus was in possession of the the full knowledge that her first enemy and only friend in the whole world Gideon Nav had given her life so that Harrow could sit at a dining room table while God and his first two saints got wine drunk and argued about which of the cavaliers they’d murdered to achieve immortality was the most bangable and made your mom jokes then i do not believe there would be any force in the known or unknown universe that could keep her from deicide

'The average necromancer is haunted by 10 ghosts' factoid is a statistical error. The average necromancer is haunted by 0.5 ghosts.

Harrowhark The First (whilom Nonagesimus), the Ninth Saint to serve the King Undying, who created a bubble in the River and is haunted by 200 dead children, the corpse of the Locked Tomb, her dead cavalier, the dead mom of said cavalier, the people who died back at Canaan House and her former cavalier who died in an exploding shuttle is an outlier and should not have been counted.