She/Her, 20's
126 posts
Giraffewithhumanhands - Just Pushing Buttons And Seeing What Happens - Tumblr Blog
Reblog and put in the tags your favourite horror or “spooky” animation! Can be any type.
Still thinking about none houses left grief, and while I understand where people are coming from, "it took me out of the world" is just... Really not a relevant criticism here. Like, that line is SUPPOSED to be jarring. It is supposed to be kind of darkly funny, but the point isnt for you to laugh. Its not trying to be a punchline. The point of that line IS to "take you out of the world" because the point is that *this world isn't what you thought it was.*
that bit in gtn where "protesilaus" draws on gideon while she's kneeling over cytherea, and after he stands down, harrow comes up behind her to chew out cytherea about it, and she's got her thumb pressed to the place where protesilaus's sword was the entire time. like. gideon takes it as a threatening gesture in the moment, but was it? i don't think so. if anything, if feels protective. posessive. he could've killed her so easily. is she trying to check for damage, just to be sure? is she only reassuring herself that he didn't actually hurt gideon? is she trying to make the point to cytherea that gideon is spoken for, that there's someone looking out for her? is it a completely unconscious gesture, born only from her impulse to place herself between protesilaus's sword and the back of gideon's neck?
harrow is rattled by that incident on several levels and one of them, i think, is her realization of how dangerous this challenge is. she could've lost gideon. she could've lost her, right there, immediately. and of course gideon doesn't, can't appreciate just how terrifying that was for her.
tazmuir could simply rerelease gideon the ninth over and over again but from the perspective of all of the different characters at canaan house and i would be tuned the fuck in. like the drama of all of their different expectations and relationships…. coronabeth living her hot girl summer… judith experiencing Sapphic Hell…. isaac and jeannemary on the world’s weirdest family vacation…. palamedes living out a deeply repressed regency era romance…. silas filled with loathing for every single person there…. delightful. canaan house drives me crazy. it’s like if love island was survivor
Wait so after all the John flashbacks when does Harrow realize that John Gaius ascended into godhood at the sacrifice of 10 billion people and an immortal (it’s the fucking planet man it’s 4.5 billion years older and only getting older) and then consumed its soul as the cherry on the divine necropie yeah?
And Harrow herself was born from the sacrifice of 200 people and achieved lyctorhood at the death of a immortal being (Gideon can regenerate and came back at least a dozen or more deaths making her nigh-immortal if not immortal until proven otherwise, by the time she impaled herself)
like we get it--Harrow is meant to mirror Jod but like I think she's going all the way like she did necromancy in the river THE FIRST TIME SHE WAS EVER IN THE RIVER AND SHE WAS A TEENAGER
Harrow’s even more of a baby god than the lyctors. Like the lectors are demigods, but Harrow really is a baby god.
today im thinking about the huge buff bread guy from kikis delivery service. highly underrated guy
Making a Google drive with the Rainbow Magic Books, feel free to share with others!!!
(let me know if you have other books)
REMINDER: if you like this post, and find it useful, you should reblog this post so other people can find it!
Round 5, Match 7: Jawbone O’Shaughnessey vs. Abigail Pent and Magnus Quinn
Art for Abigail and Magnus here (done by @ancientannoyance)
Submitted kids:
Jawbone O’Shaughnessey: Tracker O'Shaughnessey, Adaine Abernant, Fig Faeth, Kristen Applebees
Abigail Pent and Magnus Quinn: Jeannemary Chatur, Isaac Tettares, They also end up as parental figures for Harrowhark Nonagesimus and Gideon Nav
Propaganda under the cut!
Jawbone O’Shaughnessey:
1. “A lot of the main characters of this story have shit parents, and Jawbone, formerly a drug dealer and bouncer turned high school counselor happily opened his home to all of them.”
2. “He's a former druggie that the intrepid heroes met at a club during an investigation. Instead of fighting him, they offered him a job as guidance counselor at their school. He took the job and, after a bit, began dating fig's mom. Kristen was dating his niece, who lived with him at the time. During the final battle with Kalvaxus, he helped Adaine work through a panic attack and gave her anxiety meds. Those meds have a mechanical advantage too, as she would roll for panic attacks. As mentioned in the notes for this post, he makes a pretty incredible speech. Anyways, Adaine's parents abandon her soon after and jawbone offers her a place to stay, along with Kristen (who moved in with tracker), Fig (who moved in with her mom), and the Barkrocks (who they're sharing the house with). Zayn Darkshadow also lives in the cemetery at Mordred Manor, and they took in Aelwyn before she got herself an apartment. So he does a lot.”
3. “Jawbone O'Shaunessy is the single best parental figure in those kids lives.
They rescued him from a bad spot, and time and time again he proved that he was willing to be the stable figure when nobody else was there for them.
Adaine, his officially adopted daughter, has panic attacks throughout the whole first season. During the big final battle, when she's inflicted with the dnd "fear" condition, causing a panic attack, he arrives just in time to help save her from running away fully. When Adaine's parents abandoned her and never gave her treatment for her condition, he's the one who really sees her. He says his famous line "You are not a coward- you have a goddamn medical condition, okay?" He's the first person to give her meds to help, and she's able to get back in the fight because of him. (If somebody else has the whole clip please reblog with it, it definately needs to be part of the propoganda).
He also says "You're easy to love, and anybody who couldn't figure it out is a real bozo." to Adaine in a different conversation”
Abigail Pent and Magnus Quinn:
1. “Okay so that may not look like many kids but the thing is that they arrive at this cursed ass house with their too adopted-ish kids, Isaac and Jeannemary. then Magnus meets Gideon, and is like the only person actually trying to talk to her and show her (it might not look like much mut it's the biggest anyone's ever done for Gideon). Sadly she and Gideon actually never gwt to talk because Gideon has a vow of silence. Anyways then they have a wedding anniversary (nice) which unfortunately ends with both of them being pushed down a fuckass long ladder and dying.
BUT they come back in the next book! AS GHOSTS INSIDE HARROW'S MIND and then they adopt her in there before dying again (also they solve a mystery and are good at it)
YEAH AND ABIGAIL CAN SUMMON GHOSTS
manifesting for them to come back again in the fourth book so they can adopt more kids and die again”
2. “Abigail seeing harrow, gideon, and the terrible teens: "I choose you!"”
if a werewolf goes to space do you think they transition... I like to think they go full wolf and never turn back until they come back down to earth
truly the greatest philosophical question of our time!
I'll make a poll but I will also give my opinion under the cut because I have thought about this a lot!
I think it depends on where on the moon they are. It's not the moon per se that turns them but the full moon, so by that logic there is only one spot/area on the moon where they can stand and experience the moon being fully lit up by the sun and thus turn into a werewolf, anywhere where it's only partially lit up or completely dark should be safe.
I can however also be convinced that the whole full moon thing is just accidental and actually all werewolves on earth are just synced up like it sometimes happens when ppl who have periods live together, and when they go into space maybe there are space werewolves their cycle syncs up with instead.
Please tag/comment where you're from! Submitted anonymously 🤫
i don't know how many people know the existence of it, but this is genuinely:
a) one of the best covers of take me to church i've heard
b) made for the LOCKED TOMB??? like it is the entire animated sequence of gideon the ninth scenes that fit the cover so fucking well
THIS SONG WAS MADE FOR THIS ARE U KIDDING ME
THANK YOU REINAEIRY (AND HOZIER OF COURSE!!) FOR GRACING US WITH THIS MASTERPIECE
but seriously i do find it so funny that ford was like OH GOD MY PRECIOUS REPUTATION after bill possessed him around other people for all of one night
and then he gets back to this dimension after thirty years and this is now the photo the press associates with his name
i do find it hilarious that for most of gideon the ninth harrow is like “sextus your megatheorem idea is stupid. you’re jumping to conclusions. you have no evidence. your premises are flawed and your conclusion is both invalid and unsound. bitch.” and then when ianthe reveals the lyctoral process at the end of the book harrowhark is the FIRST PERSON to go “oh fuck. the megatheorem”
'The average necromancer is haunted by 10 ghosts' factoid is a statistical error. The average necromancer is haunted by 0.5 ghosts.
Harrowhark The First (whilom Nonagesimus), the Ninth Saint to serve the King Undying, who created a bubble in the River and is haunted by 200 dead children, the corpse of the Locked Tomb, her dead cavalier, the dead mom of said cavalier, the people who died back at Canaan House and her former cavalier who died in an exploding shuttle is an outlier and should not have been counted.
i don’t think the emperor or any of his surviving original lyctors can possibly comprehend how grateful they should be for whatever harrow’s done to scoop gideon out of her brain because if harrowhark nonagesimus was in possession of the the full knowledge that her first enemy and only friend in the whole world Gideon Nav had given her life so that Harrow could sit at a dining room table while God and his first two saints got wine drunk and argued about which of the cavaliers they’d murdered to achieve immortality was the most bangable and made your mom jokes then i do not believe there would be any force in the known or unknown universe that could keep her from deicide
imagine you are palamedes sextus. you spend twelve years exchanging letters with a woman who is seven years your senior. you become the heir to your house just to meet her as an equal. you love her to the point of invention. you both know that her time spent alive has an expiration date sooner than most, and so one day you decide to propose to her - even though you know that she can spend the rest of her life with you but you can’t with her, even though there are imperial rules forbidding interhouse marriages between necromancers, even though you’re here and she’s there and you’ve never even met in person - but you want her to spend her days with someone who cares about her. but you’re so young, only nineteen, and there are still all of those reasons listed above, and so she turns you down. but it isn’t because she doesn’t want to say yes. and then over the next year the letters come fewer and farther apart. and then you’re both invited to the emperor’s house - both of you, together, physically in the same place for the first time - and you show up and she’s here. and it’s like she doesn’t know you. she doesn’t spare you a glance. and you’re still so tender with her - you can’t help it, there’s care baked into you, and you can’t resist helping her, loving her, going so far as to kiss her knuckles in front of company - but still. she doesn’t acknowledge anything that happened between you. she’s moved on. she must have, because she’s spending all this time with the cavalier from the ninth - who is, by the way, two years younger than you, and that doesn’t escape your notice because nothing does - and what can you do? what are you supposed to do?
you tell your cavalier that you’re glad she’s spending time with someone who makes her laugh.
just realizing now that this isn’t just a joke about Nona being six months old. of course she finds flowers sexy. of course the embodied collective soul of the earth thinks the sex organs of plants are sexy. oh my god
all the “harrow’s three weed smoking girlfriends” jokes are ten times funnier when you remember that the three weed smoking girlfriends are god’s daughter god’s girlfriend and god’s only saint
i love how the narrators of the locked tomb series are like:
gideon: is not paying attention
harrowhark: has brain damage
nona: was born six months ago
we love variety in our unreliable narrators
Sometimes a family is a gentlewoman academic who can see dead people, the head of the civil service, and the two child soldiers whose planet they're annexing.
Sometimes a family is a bunch of guys who used to work in a lab together who've now become amnesiac fascist demigods in a complicated polycule with their lab manager/god, a skeletal princess, and a haunted teenager.
Sometimes a family is half a fascist demigod, second cousins timesharing a body, and the feral soul of planet earth (who is very upset that family doesn't include more dogs).
happy valentine's day who wants to throw themselves on a fence spike for me while reciting biblical wedding vows as your last words so i can consume your soul and gain immortality but after confronting god who says he cannot bring you back i become so overtaken with grief that i lobotomize myself to erase my ability to conceive of you in any capacity to prevent my body from absorbing and using you as an eternal battery after which i send myself to a purgatory dream state and you surface in control of my body and defend it from the alien bug soldiers of a murdered ghost planet that are trying to kill me for the sins of the emperor i worship and then i stay sleeping in hell while you end up back in your own body and then my body kisses your body but it's while being inhabited by the soul of the earth and eventually you try to sacrifice yourself for me again but you can't because you're dead now and then i wake up in my own body finally in the same room as you but i faint and get carried off by eldritch barbie before i can hear you assert your devotion to me by calling her a slut. either that or we could get coffee
Imagine you’re some little evil woman sitting in Hades’ throne room when Orpheus walks in to make a deal to get Eurydice back, and Hades is like “yeah ok, just don’t look back otherwise she has to stay here” then walks out of the room. Almost immediately after hearing the conditions, Orpheus breaks his own neck so that it is physically impossible for him to turn it, and then demands that you gouge out his eyes for good measure. Eurydice then gets really upset because she’s convinced this is a sign that Orpheus hates her and never wants to see her again, and Orpheus is completely convinced that this was a normal and logical thing to do.
You are literally the only person in the universe who recognizes this as an act of love. They both then insult you to your face for thinking this is anything other than very normal (Orpheus), or petty hatred (Eurydice).
You are Ianthe Tridentarius.