Glassofsweetsalicineester - Tumblr Blog

For very long time I couldn't understand the idea of people deciding who is top or bottom, or projecting these roles on certain presentations (e.g. common misconception that butch is always top) I thought that top and bottom meant literal space placement. Top is positioned in some way above bottom. And logically, for mutual comfort, I thought that on top should be lighter or physically weaker person, because overwise weight of partner might cause discomfort. Unless people are into pressure, bla-bla nuances.

I find it silly, and I find funny, that I didn't consider sex/cuddling/over activity in vertical position, or not in a way, that one person is above another

Everything heals inside me after drawing a ton of butch4butch pics with Tom of Finland as inspiration

And many of mongoose are called mongeese!!

Many mooses are called meese and I will not be taking criticism from canadians

Helanie is an adorable ship but I think we should all remember one thing about it-

It would be Jared Hopworth's worst nightmare.

This posts summarised all my thoughts about DNI policy and I love it. Great work in articulating this

If someone asks me about my issues with DNIs, I think I’ll just refer them to this post from now on.

Tumblr, as a website, is designed for quick, casual content sharing. You can follow blogs, then immediately like and reblog posts from them. New posts are even recommended to you directly on your dash, so you don’t even need to look at their originating blogs to interact with them. DNIs put a wrench in this intuitive manner of using tumblr. They force someone to stop and detour and read a page before they touch any posts from a blog they don’t know, and that contradicts how tumblr is intuitively meant to be used. If you see a post and you like it, and if there’s an icon right underneath it, your first reaction is to click the icon. I’m sure most of us have instinctively clicked “like” (or “reblog”) on a post we found interesting.

DNIs prevent this kind of “casual” interaction. Their existence means you have to stop yourself before you interact (in any way) with a cool post, find the DNI page of the person who reblogged the post and, if applicable, find the DNI of the person who made the original post as well (because they’ll also receive the notification, unless they deleted the post on their blog), read it, then return to the post. Nothing about DNIs are baked into the functionality of tumblr in an intuitive way; if anything, the only real “do not interact with me” function you will find here in tumblr’s infrastructure is the block function.

Because DNIs are so antithetical to how tumblr functions, they’re an inherently futile way of preventing interaction with certain groups of people, too. Most people aren’t going to read my rules or my pinned post before they interact with my content. I would not expect them to, because it doesn’t occur to many people, and it’s a lot of wasted time. Even people with certain kinds of users in their DNIs routinely interact with posts made by those very people, proving this point. It is so inconvenient and absurd to read a page every time someone so much as likes a post by a random blog. Those people you don’t want interacting with you? They’re probably reading your blog; liking your posts even if they don’t expressly say they’re x group from your DNI. They’re doing the same to my posts, too. That’s just the price we pay for being in a public space focused on content sharing. And I accept this. Other peoples’ behaviour is completely out of my control. I just block people when needed, because it is my responsibility to curate my space.

And that is the crux of the matter: I refuse to pass the responsibility of curating my space onto strangers. I refuse to make it someone else’s problem when they are using tumblr in the way it was meant to be used. Ideologically and functionally, it does not make sense to me.

Just think about it: tumblr is a public website. Unless your blog is password-protected, people can find it anytime, and if they really want to interact, they’ll interact regardless of your DNI. It’s not like most people will say, “oh, drat, I’m a racist, I should leave!”. Maybe they’ll just interact because the labels you dislike are not visible on their blog, so they’ll fly under your radar. And at times where peoples’ labels or behaviour are visible, the good ol’ block button is the golden standard. It always has been.

If I become mutuals with someone, sure, we’ll agree to scratch each others’ backs, and tag whatever the other person needs tagged. But that’s different from expecting every stranger who comes across my content, wherever it shows up, to follow demands that are all the way over here, on this blog. If someone reblogs one of my photosets way over in the Stranger Things fandom, and people see the reblogged post, they shouldn’t need to come to my Marvel/Random Shit™ blog and read my pages before clicking the stupid little heart button. But imagine needing to do this with every single person, every single post of theirs. Sure, maybe you’re familiar with the DNIs of the people you follow. But what about all the posts they’ve reblogged? Those posts have OPs. Do the OPs of those posts have a DNI that’s favourable to you, too?

DNIs aren’t even optional reads now, and everyone suffers because of that. The proliferation of DNIs has made a culture where if someone accidentally forgets to read a DNI, doesn’t know that DNIs exist, or misinterprets the contents of a DNI, it’s considered acceptable to harass them for it. It’s anxiety-inducing.

“…Shit, I forgot to like their DNI.”

It doesn’t help that I never know what “basic DNI criteria” means, or what the “etcetera” means either, because it changes from person to person. Folks, I’ve seen homophobes with “basic DNI criteria” in their pages. That aside, you can say “bigots DNI”, but a lot of transphobes don’t believe they’re bigots, so you could still get radfems liking your posts. You could say “bullies DNI”, but many fanpols don’t consider themselves bullies, because they believe if someone writes fanfiction from the perspective of Hannibal Lecter, of course their reaction to it isn’t “bullying”, it’s just justified shaming!

Everyone is the hero of their own story, and everyone thinks they’re the exception. They will be the exception to your DNI, too. Again, this all goes back to the “you can’t control who interacts with your content” thing. It’s maddening to try and think of all the angles, all the ways to “catch” people, all the ways to plug up all the holes. You may not want to hear it, but you never will. You can get the broad strokes, but you’ll never get everyone, you won’t even get close. Even if you do somehow manage to fit all the exact terms into your DNI, and you end up with a DNI longer than a CVS receipt, you’re still going to run into all the people who… Simply don’t read it. Meanwhile, you look a little too preoccupied with who’s looking at your blog on a public website, and even if a well-intended person comes across your blog, they may just check out because they’re uncomfortable with the micromanaging.

…If they can read the DNI. Look, I’m all for creative formatting, but I see so many DNIs (and carrds in general) that have hot pink writing on a red background, or baby pink on baby blue, or yellow on lime green, and I can’t read any of it, not to mention it’s a migraine risk among other things. I’m not reading dozens of these pages every other day.

It doesn’t help that many DNIs are rude, angry, hostile pages that tell people to kill themselves. That’s not right. When someone volunteers to read an information page, they are doing that person a courtesy. It is shameful people need to read things like “kill yourself”, “swallow a knife”, and other verbal sewage. It doesn’t matter if it’s directed to them or not. Simply looking for people to follow and interact with, simply liking a post, should not be an exercise in mental fortitude. Needing to read awful threats over and over again should not be a requirement for engaging on this site. Imagine having depression, intrusive thoughts, and so on, where this stuff could land twice as hard. It’s gotten to the point where my eyes immediately gloss over when I open a DNI, because my mind simply doesn’t want to see any more shit and is trying to protect me. I’m at the point where I don’t want to open DNIs at all.

But as you guessed, there’s a problem with that. Because DNIs are almost compulsory on tumblr now, ignoring them has two possible outcomes: one, you annoy a ton of people, because maybe their DNIs say they don’t want you around, but you’re interacting with their stuff anyways. Maybe you get labelled as the person who ignores DNIs. Two, you stop your browsing in part, or as a whole, meaning almost nobody gets likes or reblogs from you anymore, because you’re trying to not waste your time, you’re trying to preserve your sanity, etc. And this hamstrings content creators.

One of the biggest flaws in DNIs is that nobody is obligated to reveal information on themselves. Minors can easily hide their age. Bigots can hide their bigotry. People can remove info from their description until they’re clear of someone’s initial “new follower vibe check”, then put it back. Nobody knows you’re a dog on the internet. It’s naive to assume people will be honest about themselves, and adhere to a DNI.

DNIs are often so incredibly vague and their attitude so charged that people can’t even ask for clarification, because the writer of the DNI could be radicalized and have very unhealthy views, and absolutely attack someone for reaching out. A DNI might say, “don’t interact if you support incest”, but it never clarifies in real life, or fiction. There has been an enormous uptick in moral panic over fiction lately, so lots of people might ask for clarification, but if they do, the person could say “in real life and fiction, duh!”, flame them because they “didn’t know something so obvious, it must mean they’re sus!”, then flame them again because they viewed the poor person’s blog and saw lots of mature content they think people shouldn’t write. It’s absurd, but unfortunately, that kind of panic has spread. Many people use DNIs as extensions of their unhealthy interaction, media consumption, and browsing habits.

So I usually avoid DNIs.

All in all, I don’t mind if someone politely asks other people to not interact, or if they say they block for certain stuff, if there’s a clear awareness that it’s not a be-all, end-all solution, and that people will still interact. As long as they put the onus on themselves, rather than other people, to curate their space, it’s cool. For example, if someone is an 18+ blog, and they ask minors not to interact? Cool, if they don’t “punish” or otherwise attack minors who find posts of theirs on other blogs, and “like” them from there without going all the way over to the OG blog to see if they’re allowed to do like it. Because again, that’s a bit of an unfair requirement to impose on people. And whatever.

Because people shouldn’t feel like they’re playing minesweeper when they want to click a heart. Between the terfs, racists, and all the other issues, we have enough on our hands already.

I once came up with metaphor for executive function that explained it for myself, because I had troubles with it (controversial)

(actually this is translation of my old ru post)

I might experience things different than you, but I accept criticism

The idea is that executive function (in my case in ADHD) is more like forced "laziness". Let's say you need to do some little easy thing. But to do that thing, you need to get to the 10th floor. For healthy neurotypical person, to do that thing they need to take elevator. For those experiencing executive dysfunction, they have to go to 10th using stairs, because elevator is either not working, or unreliable. By the time they reach 10th floor on their own, they will be exhausted by passing this barrier.

So the easy task is possible to do. It is achievable. But to commit to it, it takes so much effort, that you indeed get lazy to do it. Or doing so much tasks running 10 floors up and down will exhaust you to unimaginable point. It is not impossible, but ratio of difficulty to outcome is imbalanced

I personally don't view "lazy" as bad word, I am lazy myself, but I understand why some people might view it as offensive

You know what? Lesbian wall posting time!

I had for some time wall covered with stickers and post-it notes with lots of lesbian drawings (not gonna post full, but there were about 60+ pics) but I wanna put some highlights from there

my faves:

and more!

I took down the wall and gave away those pics for my lesbian friends and it was one of the greatest experiences I had

also helped me a lot with internalized lesbophobia and feeling more comfortable with lesbian identity

the silliest idea I have for character is that Angeline's personality is shaped a lot by russian anime culture. She had long and raging Black butler phase, probably doing mediocre cosplays with her friends.

And other thing I think of is that she had long crush for Dante from DMC and in part her eh "personal iconic look" with white hair and scarlet jacket is a nod to her fangirling over Dante.

The hard part here is that I didn't watch Black butler and didn't play dmc. And I can't tell exactly how it rewires your brain chemistry when you're teen

I really want to start some daily art project