Something Happened And Im Really Sad And Also Happy.

something happened and im really sad and also happy.

happy chinese new year to all, but YOU GOTTA READ THIS.

for more than a year (3 yrs almost), i’ve done a self diagnosis on myself with spd (sensory processing disorder) and adhd (few others too)

the man took an hour late to arrive but LOL

went to this place and told the man about how i’ve been bullied and what was going on. so i obviously didn’t say i was gay but my mom did bring up how somebody was gay and was bullying me as a gay person (smart man knew i was gay from how I went 😝✌️ along with saying the word “gay” but he didn’t make it obvious until my mom looked away and he smiled and mouthed “yes good im proud for you”).

since i get extremely uncomfortable when they kept talking about my ASD so then i felt like crying cause yk mental health issues + illnesses, etc shit being exposed and almost cried (they never knew bc i never made it obvious but my eyes watered under my hoodie), and yk I felt really really sad than my mood was today.

THEN THE BIG NEWS CAME.

since you never knew i was neurodivergent, i’m gonna let you know.

i didn’t know HALF of what he said because he spoke fast but

i managed to catch half (idk if half atp cause he got LOADS of diagnosis for me but it was too much and he spoke really really fast)

HE WAS FRIENDLY BUT

i FUCKING KNEW. that the spd was right. I WASNT SURE BUT HE SAID I HAVE IT. YESSS A REAL DIAGNOSIS.

he said im diagnosed with asd, adhd, spd (sensory processing disorder), tics (not like tourettes but he did say something WILL cause me to tic but it’s only anxiety that will cause it a few times but if it gets worse, i must tell him) + my anxiety will cause me to tic (like shivering and form different tics but its not like tourettes that people ACTUALLY have).

he also said my auditory sensory processing disorder as well (+ with sensory processing too), he said i had something sensitivity (idk what it was because he spoke REALLY fast) but i think he said sensory or sensitivity disorder (if you knew what it’s called, PLEASE lemme know).

stuttering disorder + high functioning on asd + low functioning on adhd (lemme know if functioning is out of date or not) and some other stuff.

BUT I GOT AN OFFICIAL DIAGNOSIS GUYSSSSS

i’ve tried to find the “congratulations on the neurodivergency cake” but I found this.

congratulations to me on my further neurodivergent diagnosis :))

gonna listen to more lgbtq songs on my way to work <3

story time today:

i was in my class and i got into a fight w my bullies and he threw his bag in my face (thank god i dodged cause my face would've been damaged), and i threw it back and got into deep trouble, and wasn’t allowed in the class.

this random teacher tells me she knows some kids with adhd, autism, etc and she goes ahead telling me, “why do you wear those ear defenders?” and i told her, “i’m autistic”, and she says in this manner, “you can’t keep wearing them. get use to the noise or i will make mom take them” okay so what if i start screaming and crying because noises get too loud leading to sensory overload, and can’t handle anything, i wouldn’t have anything to help me cause you took them all away?? and she goes ahead stereotyping me, using outdated terms, and she claims she knows autism yet i had to educate her on EVERYTHING. “oh you can’t wear those cause students will get mad” ok fuck them

“are you that autistic?”

“don’t bring toys”

“just stop making yourself look stupid. I’ll just tell mom to make you stop using them”

like how she gonna get mad or listen to you when she clearly got my diagnosis, be so for real women..

i feel overwhelmed. tell me if i should do this.

i’ve thought alot about masking my neurodivergency. i’m often called the r word because of it so i’m just gonna mask my symptoms and try to appear normal so that people accept me.

but then, the person who supports me is always with me due to my illness so what can i do 😹 everyone’s gonna know and see it anyway.

i don’t care if i have a meltdown. i just wanna appear normal 😹

also hiding my gay identity since everyone knows now due to that ONE person.

goodbye 2022, hi 2023 🎉

ok y’all, i got told to rot in hell cause i was gay, had alot of homophobia today and outed the number of times and ppl being weird about it. just people pretending to be gay when they aren’t.

yeahh..

🫡