Ruined. Jj Maybank

ruined. jj maybank

(summary) jj doesn't know how to love so he can't allow himself to be loved.

(pairings) jj maybank x fem!reader

(warning) just pure angst.

(authors note) hey my loves, this is my first post oh em gee! any and all feedback is welcome. this is longer than a blurb i think, i might've over-wrote but oh well! i'm a whore sucker for angst so it makes sense that my first piece is angsty but anyways, happy reading x

lowercase intended !

"i don't understand, are you breaking up with me j?" you followed him into the kitchen with tears in your eyes after he pushed past you, jj ran his hand through his hair and let out a breath of frustration before turning around to face you.

"you’re not my girlfriend y/n, so no. i'm not breaking up with you." he spat with so much venom even he was shocked, he never raised his voice or spoke to you in such a manner. then again this wasn't jj speaking, it was a terrified boy relaying lies to you that his father had been feeding him.

you took a step back from him so confused, so hurt that he would say such a nasty thing to you, when just last week you both lay in his bed as he was running his hands up and down your bare back, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. and now he stood before you, telling you that he doesn't want to see you anymore. you felt like you were dreaming.

no, you felt like you were having a nightmare. this had to have been a nightmare. this wasn't real, you told yourself in attempt to calm yourself down.

what he said was technically true, he never actually asked you to be his girlfriend but you didn't care about it much, it was just a label. jj knew it was a low blow, he didn't enjoy hurting you, but he knew that if you both carried on the way you were going, you'd end up hurt eventually. a relationship with jj was a train wreck waiting to happen and he just wanted to get you off the train before it was too late.

tears were now streaming down your face and you were a blubbering mess, "w-why? can't we talk about this?" you couldn't understand why jj all of a sudden wanted to end things with you.

you both had being doing whatever this was for about three months and in those few months you fell hard. you wrongly thought he had fallen hard too, anyone in your position would've thought the same.

"this is why y/n! you're too much!" he gestured between the two of you. everything jj was saying couldn't have been further from the truth, if anything, you weren't enough for jj, he couldn't get enough of you and he doesn't know how he lived before you.

"i'm too much?" you scoffed. the wounded look on on your face had quickly been replaced by a look of disgust. it pained jj to see you look at him like this. this was a side of you he'd never seen before, and a side he wishes he didn't have to see.

he sighed and looked you dead in the eyes, no emotion present on his face. "i..i just don't have enough space in my life for you. i can't do this anymore."

you were taken aback, you couldn't belive such cruel words could come out of his mouth.

the same mouth that peppered kisses along your jaw when you felt slightly less than happy.

the same mouth that told you you looked beautiful when you woke up.

the same mouth that told you he loved you.

you inspected his face trying to see if there were any traces of the boy you loved in there, but instead you were met with a stone cold look from a stranger. he meant it. god, you wished he didn't mean it.

you wished you didn't care enough to notice how dry his responses had been over the past few days. you wished you never drove to see him in an attempt to cheer him up.

you wanted the ground to come up and swallow you whole. maybe you misread this whole situation, you thought to yourself.

maybe this was all just some fun for jj and you were too much. you were embarrassed that you had given so much of yourself to someone who clearly didn't want you.

"i apologise. i didn't realise i was such a chore." you spat at him before grabbing your keys of the counter and rushing outside to your car, leaving the blonde boy alone on his kitchen.

once you'd gotten in your car and driven off, not even glancing back at jj, he let out a shaky breath and fell to the floor, allowing his emotions to finally come to the surface. he sat and cried knowing that he'd just lost the best thing that'd ever happened to him.

he brought his legs up to chest and buried his head in his knee's as he replayed the words his father had told him just a few days prior. the word's that ruined everything.

"she's a sweet girl. your gonna ruin her. just like i ruined your mother, it's in our blood boy. we can't have nice things."

i don't authorize any copies or translations of my work to be made, unless granted permission.

©harleyharlot

banana pancakes - j.m.

word count: 2,347

summary: soft slow morning sex with JJ.

warnings: smut under the cut, minors dni!!! really soft fluffy smut, very slight dacryphilia (literally just mentioned in dialogue)

a/n: would have never guessed that outer banks would be the hyperfixation to pull me out of my smut writing block but here we are!!! likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

Keep reading

thoughts on jj saving the reader from drowning after pushing her off a boat as a joke and reader is like, REALLYYYY, upset about it

he’d beat himself up so bad :,( no

without hesitation upon seeing you gasping for air, he’d dive in behind you— internally shitting himself. it was supposed to be for good laughs, as he typically did just about anything to emit a fit of giggles from you. it’s now that he wishes he would’ve said yes to the pogues coming rather him saying ‘it’s me and my girls day on the boat.’

struggling to get both you and him back into the boat, he manages, seated at the bow to inch some of the protruding water from your lungs. but he’s stopped by the jab of your hand to his.

“don’t even fucking touch me.”

oh God, he thinks he might croak— he was the cause of this and you weren’t letting him live it down. this was the last outcome he would’ve ever wanted. you were for hot with lividness, scorching to touch.

“baby, m’just trying to help. should’ve never—“

“yeah, you shouldn’t have. take me home jj.” you’d cough, pacing to the other end of the boat as far as humanly possibly right now.

“but-but, i don’t want you to go home, i want you to stay here with me.”

“then you shouldn’t have pushed me off of the damn boat!”

he’d lower his head, fully knowing he deserves it. he’s following your steps. and though you fight him, and wriggle in his hold almost knocking him into the water. you stop upon knowing he won’t let you go, his chin resting atop your head. saying sorry without even saying it.

“won’t do it again. just stay with me, be here.”

send a concept, i’ll elaborate.

love how every fanfic on tumblr paints carmy as the greatest pussy eater of all time even though it’s canon that has never had a girlfriend

JJ Maybank is a let me take that for you boyfriend <3 the kind fo boyfriend that runs to open doors for you, that slide across the front of the car to let you out, that's always reaching for you hand in busy places so he doesn't lose you, he's always caught staring at you and his excuse is that you're just too pretty, he holds your jacket for you, carries you home when your feet hurt, he calls you just to ask what you're doing and if you say nothing he's says good I'm outside wanna hang out, he thinks your the smartest person he knows so he always asks for your opinion first but he secretly just likes having you tell him what to do, he makes sure your drinking enough water even if you both know that he doesn't, he's always running around, he doesn't walk anyway, and then when he falls over he plays if off like it never happened, which you think is adorable, that's why he does it <3

jj is the type of boyfriend to fist bump you and call you ‘homie’. he’s the type to tease you relentlessly but also protect you as if you’re so fragile a mere bump in the wrong direction will break you. he likes to tease you and say “i don’t know, can you?” jokingly when you ask for something, or exaggerate his answers when you say something obvious. he’s the type to shamelessly grab your bum in front of everyone but also get mad when someone slightly inconveniences you. he loves to cuddle you from behind and pepper you in kisses, but will also ruffle your hair and lick your face. he’s your boyfriend, but he’s also your best friend.