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ruined. jj maybank

(summary) jj doesn't know how to love so he can't allow himself to be loved.

(pairings) jj maybank x fem!reader

(warning) just pure angst.

(authors note) hey my loves, this is my first post oh em gee! any and all feedback is welcome. this is longer than a blurb i think, i might've over-wrote but oh well! i'm a whore sucker for angst so it makes sense that my first piece is angsty but anyways, happy reading x

lowercase intended !

"i don't understand, are you breaking up with me j?" you followed him into the kitchen with tears in your eyes after he pushed past you, jj ran his hand through his hair and let out a breath of frustration before turning around to face you.

"you’re not my girlfriend y/n, so no. i'm not breaking up with you." he spat with so much venom even he was shocked, he never raised his voice or spoke to you in such a manner. then again this wasn't jj speaking, it was a terrified boy relaying lies to you that his father had been feeding him.

you took a step back from him so confused, so hurt that he would say such a nasty thing to you, when just last week you both lay in his bed as he was running his hands up and down your bare back, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. and now he stood before you, telling you that he doesn't want to see you anymore. you felt like you were dreaming.

no, you felt like you were having a nightmare. this had to have been a nightmare. this wasn't real, you told yourself in attempt to calm yourself down.

what he said was technically true, he never actually asked you to be his girlfriend but you didn't care about it much, it was just a label. jj knew it was a low blow, he didn't enjoy hurting you, but he knew that if you both carried on the way you were going, you'd end up hurt eventually. a relationship with jj was a train wreck waiting to happen and he just wanted to get you off the train before it was too late.

tears were now streaming down your face and you were a blubbering mess, "w-why? can't we talk about this?" you couldn't understand why jj all of a sudden wanted to end things with you.

you both had being doing whatever this was for about three months and in those few months you fell hard. you wrongly thought he had fallen hard too, anyone in your position would've thought the same.

"this is why y/n! you're too much!" he gestured between the two of you. everything jj was saying couldn't have been further from the truth, if anything, you weren't enough for jj, he couldn't get enough of you and he doesn't know how he lived before you.

"i'm too much?" you scoffed. the wounded look on on your face had quickly been replaced by a look of disgust. it pained jj to see you look at him like this. this was a side of you he'd never seen before, and a side he wishes he didn't have to see.

he sighed and looked you dead in the eyes, no emotion present on his face. "i..i just don't have enough space in my life for you. i can't do this anymore."

you were taken aback, you couldn't belive such cruel words could come out of his mouth.

the same mouth that peppered kisses along your jaw when you felt slightly less than happy.

the same mouth that told you you looked beautiful when you woke up.

the same mouth that told you he loved you.

you inspected his face trying to see if there were any traces of the boy you loved in there, but instead you were met with a stone cold look from a stranger. he meant it. god, you wished he didn't mean it.

you wished you didn't care enough to notice how dry his responses had been over the past few days. you wished you never drove to see him in an attempt to cheer him up.

you wanted the ground to come up and swallow you whole. maybe you misread this whole situation, you thought to yourself.

maybe this was all just some fun for jj and you were too much. you were embarrassed that you had given so much of yourself to someone who clearly didn't want you.

"i apologise. i didn't realise i was such a chore." you spat at him before grabbing your keys of the counter and rushing outside to your car, leaving the blonde boy alone on his kitchen.

once you'd gotten in your car and driven off, not even glancing back at jj, he let out a shaky breath and fell to the floor, allowing his emotions to finally come to the surface. he sat and cried knowing that he'd just lost the best thing that'd ever happened to him.

he brought his legs up to chest and buried his head in his knee's as he replayed the words his father had told him just a few days prior. the word's that ruined everything.

"she's a sweet girl. your gonna ruin her. just like i ruined your mother, it's in our blood boy. we can't have nice things."

i don't authorize any copies or translations of my work to be made, unless granted permission.

©harleyharlot

burn. jj maybank

(summary) despite jj's distaste for kooks, he constantly found himself cuddled up with the kook princess in his stained sheets and it was all going great. until it wasn’t.

(pairings) jj maybank x kook!reader.

(warning) gut-wrenching angst, reader being a dick, mentions of pregnancy and abortions!

(authors note) this one killed me to write oh em gee, but i'd had this idea floating around in my head for a while and i really wanted to write it. i swear i'll get around to writing some fluff, i want to put out some of your guys requests soon and most of those are fluffy bits so keep your eyes peeled for that! happy reading!

lowercase intended!

jj sat on his bed anxiously waiting for you to arrive, his knee bounced up and down as he ran a shaky hand through his hair. he knew something wasn't right from the way you'd sounded on the phone, how you sounded when you'd said you needed to talk to him.

your knock against his front door pulled him out of his thoughts, "jj?" you pushed open the door knowing it would be open as jj always left the door open for you when he knows you're coming over.

the two of you had been sneaking around for a few months now, you being a kook and jj being a pouge you guys had decided it would be best to keep your relationship on the low. it had started off with you guys just sneaking around to hook up but you both had quickly discovered that despite your social status' you had a lot in common and your weekly you up? messages had swiftly turned into routine come over, i miss you calls.

he jumped up from his bed and rushed towards the door where you stood, instantly wrapping his arms around you. "are you okay? you sounded upset on the phone." he stepped back, hands still on your shoulders and took in the distressed expression that rest on your face.

"y/n?" jj's face softened as he grew more concerned, you removed yourself from his grasp and went to sit on the sofa that was on the other side of the room. jj followed you like a lost puppy, "we need to talk j." you spoke softly, looking everywhere but his face.

"your scaring me sweetheart." you sent him a weak smile but said nothing, finally looking him in the eyes. if jj wasn't worried before he most certainly was now. "talk to me baby, what's up?" he kneeled down in front of you and placed your hands in his own, you pulled your hands away quickly as if he'd burned you and tucked them in the sleeves of your jumper.

jj moved back slightly in concern, but he didn't get up from his position before you. he racked his brain trying to figure out whether he'd done something wrong but nothing came to mind. it pained him to see you so act so distant, so cold towards him like this.

for the short period of time he'd known you, you'd always been so cheerful and warm, jj knew there would be a time that you'd realised you were too good for him, but he'd hoped it wouldn't be this soon.

"jj...i- god there's no easy way to say this.." you stuttered, not quite knowing how to break the news to jj. you shuffled forward on the sofa and rubbed your sweaty palms against your legs.

"baby, you can tell me. i wont get mad..unless your breaking up with me." jj let out a nervous chuckle, but again you didn't respond. instead you looked up at the ceiling and blinked rapidly trying to stop the tears that had suddenly appeared from running down your face. "you-your not breaking up with me.. are you y/n?"

"i'm pregnant."

jj was taken aback, it took him a minute to process what had just been said. he stood up and pulled you up with him a cheesy grin on his face. "seriously?"

he quickly pulled you into a hug and buried his head in your shoulders, "i'm gonna be a dad!"

jj didn't have the best portryal of what a family looked like growing up, with his dad being an absusive drunk and his own mother leaving him at a young age. if he was being completely honest, the thought of having his own children made him feel ill. but that was before he met you. before he realised that he was capable of loving and being loved. jj had no clue how to raise a child but he figured he had time to learn, to try, for you.

you slowly pulled back from him, eyebrows knit in confusion. "jj, no. i-" you shook your head and laughed hysterically as you sobbed. "i'm getting an abortion.."

"what?" his body tensed as the words left your mouth. in the space of eight minutes you'd managed to give jj the world and then burn it.

"i'm getting an abortion jj, a-and i wanted to come and tell you because you deserve to know bu-"

"i deserve to know, but i don't deserve a say in this?" he scoffed at you and ran his hand through his hair, turning his back to you in an attempt to calm himself down.

jj had a short temper that he'd gotten from his dad which he tried to control especially around you. he never wanted to raise his voice at you or make you fell any less than special but it was a little hard for him to kept in control of his emotions right now.

"a say in what? this isn't up for debate. it's happening jj." you were genuinely confused by his reaction, the pair of you were practically kids still, you had no business raising a child.

jj slowly turned around to face you again, carefully thinking about his next words, he took a few steps towards you and placed his hands on your cheeks making you look up at him, you were scared he thought to himself and he didn't blame you. "baby, we can figure this out. together."

you shook your head tears still streaming down your face, "jj.." you began, placing your hand on top of his where it rest on your cheek and removing it.

"look around you. t-there is no we, i'm a kook and you're.." you trailed off looking around the mess that jj called his home.

"..you're this jj." he winced at your harsh words but still persited. "look i know it's not perfect bu-"

you cut him off with a scoff, "it's far from perfect jj, this is not the life i want to live! i-i have a reputation to uphoald. my parents have a repuatation to uphoald so no. whatever you were going to say, no." you picked up your bag that sat on the sofa and placed it on your shoulder."

jj didn't move a muscle, he just watched you fumble around with your bag, "so that's it? what we've been doing was fo-"

"what we've been doing was a mistake jj."

"y' just stop interupting me! jsut st-stop doing that!" jj slammed his fist into the wall making a dent, he know had tears streaming down his face too. you flinched at his action and rushed towards the door.

"this jj!" you laughed at him with so much venom he swore he didn't recognise the person that stood before him. "this is what i mean! we can't rasie a baby, especially not wieth that temper of yours."

regret filled jj from head to toe, "baby, i'm sorry i just got frustrated i-."

you walked away from him and out the front door as he jj trailed behind you. his eyes filled to the brim with tears, blurring his vision.

"y/n please." he pleaded with you, not wanting to let you go, because he knew deep down that if you left, you wouldn't come back and he would do anything to keep you close to him. he would hold your hand through this abortion just so he could have you around even though it was the last thing he wanted to do, because he loved you.

he finally caught up to you and grabbed your wrist which you snatched back straight away, "please, just don't touch me." you spat at him as you grabbed your keys out of your bag and unlocked your car.

you shook your head as you climbed into the drivers seat, "my friends were right."

"i should've never fucked a pouge."

i do not grant permision for any copies or translations of my work to be made, unless granted permission.

©harleyharlot