Writing My Personal Statement For My Dream Uni And I'm Shaking In My Heels

writing my personal statement for my dream uni and I'm shaking in my heels

— linger, lee chan.

angst | 594

chan throws his head back as he empties the liquid in the small shot glass he's gripping tightly in his hand. he doesn't even remember exactly how much alcohol he'd consume at this point but he vaguely sees the concerned look the bartender standing opposite him shoots him as he collects back all the empty glasses scattered across the counter.

everything is a blur to him, the entire night feels unreal. all the little events that eventually led up to the argument with you that occurred hours ago and the aftermath of the argument — you leaving and him sitting in this bar alone, drinking his pain away.

he feels the familiar hot, stinging feeling behind his eyes again and he quickly downs another shot, hoping to numb the feeling before angrily wiping his tears away.

that's the issue with you, he hears your voice, you're always so emotional. he mutters a soft “sorry” in response before realising that the voice was in his own head. he wishes that everything else was just in his head too.

he starts thinking, a big mistake on his part. but he starts thinking about how his world came crumbling down when the words “it's over” left your lips, the very same lips that used to tell him how much you loved him and how he was your everything, the same lips that would kiss all his pain away. he starts thinking about how he's supposed to live his life without you in it, you were all he's ever known and loved. he starts thinking about how he'd get through tonight once he leaves this bar and goes back home.

home, he contemplates with a bitter laugh. can he still call it his home when you're no longer in it? when all that's left there to haunt him is the ghost of the love you once had for him.

he somehow manages to stumble back to the apartment on his own and he opens the door and just as he'd guessed, it was cold, dark and empty. you weren't there to welcome him home with your warm, comforting hug. you weren't there to take care of his pathetic, drunk self. you weren't there and you won't ever be anymore but traces of you lingered. they were littered everywhere in every single corner of the apartment, mocking him relentlessly. there's no escaping.

he hangs his keys up on one of the two hooks on the wall in the doorway and notices the one next to his was empty. he opens the fridge to get a drink and there was one last can of your favourite soda. he goes into the bathroom to get himself cleaned up and his toothbrush sits alone in the holder and his towel was the only one on the rack. he opens the wardrobe to see your side had been completely cleaned out. he goes to bed with your side unoccupied and for the first time in years he notices how big the bed actually is.

he misses the way you'd cuddle up to him every single night despite the sweltering summer heat, he misses the smell of the shampoo in your hair whenever he snuggles his face into the back of your neck, he misses the sound of your light snores because you'd always fall asleep before him. he miss you.

he closes his eyes when tears threaten to spill for the countless time that night and his last thought before consciousness finally ebbs away is how everything was real and now he's all alone.

I decided to start an art account so I can post my silly little work on tumblr. give it a follow to see my artworks hehe

— born to be a wednesday's child

esa / 18+

welcome to my art blog where i post my art after I've finished my art

writing acc: @hazz-a-bear

Summoning all my woozi moots for my new butch girlfriend reveal 👹👹

( pic from twt/not mine )

Snow white insomnia

Pairing: Woozi x reader

Genre: fluff, established relationship.

(Note: probably the most self-indulgent thing i will ever write cuz I've never seen snow irl (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠))

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The room was dark and empty, the kitchen as well. Jihoon furrowed his brow, a little confused. Where could his beloved person be? He went to the other room and breathed a sigh of relief because he finally found you, sitting on the balcony floor connecting to the living room. The sliding door was closed, so you heard when he opened it to go out where you were.

"It's almost four in the morning," Jihoon said sitting beside you.

"I'm sorry," you said in a sad tone, "I might have insomnia... Again."

"You can always come to my room whenever you want" he smiled understandingly, patting your head.

"Come on, it's your studio," you turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow, "I could never interrupt your work, also..." you looked back at the sky, expectantly.

"Right... You've never seen snow, have you?"

No, you had never seen snow. You had lived your whole life in a city with a very different weather, rarely leaving it, and the closest thing you had known was the few times there were hail hitting your window, and you saw the crystals longing to see beautiful white flakes falling from the sky.

Now you had moved to the other side of the world to be with Jihoon, it was your first year living in Korea, you had been sharing an apartment with him for just a few months and adapting to your new lifestyle, to the bustling metropolis, and the varied weather there.

You were there, gazing at the dark firmament, when you saw the first snowflakes falling from the sky, gently swaying in the faint nighttime breeze. You were waiting for a long time, and it was finally worth it.

"look at them..." you whispered, "it's... Beautiful"

"Yes, it's beautiful..."

But his gaze was on you, the way your eyes were sparkling with excitement and how you smiled was endearing, he couldn't help but look at you like you were the only person on earth. Seeing you happy was comforting.

Jihoon rested his elbow on his knee and his chin on his hand, making a big effort not to fall asleep, he had been working all night on a project and wanted to go to bed asap, but being there, with you in such an important moment was a once-in-a-lifetime moment he couldn't miss. At that moment you turned to look at him, and this made his head snap up.

"Your nose and cheeks are flushed," you said touching his face with the tip of your finger.

"You should see yourself," he leaned towards you to gently kiss one of your eyelids, then stood up, "I'm going to sleep, wanna come?"

"Later," you pouted a little, "I'm not sleepy yet." Jihoon smiled and went inside, you turned your gaze back to the snowy sky, lost in its beauty. A few minutes later, the door opened again, Jihoon had returned with extra blankets.

"It's freezing out here, you must cover up well," he said arranging one of the blankets over your shoulders. You didn't want to tell him anything so he wouldn't worry, but the truth was you were freezing out there, even though you had at least two layers of thick clothing.

"Thanks, Jihoon."

He sat beside you using the extra blanket.

"Would you mind stretching your legs out off the balcony?" You said nothing, just did it, "Thank you."

It took you by surprise when he laid his head on your lap, placing one of his hands on your thigh.

"Are you comfortable?" you asked in a playful tone, slowly sliding your fingers through his dark hair.

"I'm fine... I couldn't ask for more..."

I start a new job this week and I’m sat dreaming of silly scenarios where junhui would be finding ways to calm me down and stop stressing 🫠

my brain is running away with me fr right now lmao HELP

my love you've opened the door to a nonstop brain rot AND I CAN'T STOP

first of all congrats omg i hope you do well!! rooting for you <3 and second of all,,,jun calming you down. you know I'm going to eat this up.

warning: absolute fluff

I think Jun would be the happiest to hear about a new job, a new promotion, or anything like that. No because I can imagine his face - pinched and confused when you sit him down and it instantly melts into such a happy smile when you break the news to him. He'd be over the moon, hugging you to his chest - "are you serious? holy shit, that's- that's so great, I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy for you, angel, yes, I am"

He'd be more excited than you at some point, being your number-one hype man and making sure you're absolutely ready to face this with a smile. So when he notices just how anxious you're feeling, he'd get so worried. Junhui would be so concerned, just trying to find ways to make it better and let you know he's right beside you.

I feel like he's rather quiet when it comes to offering help - sticking to acts of service rather than using his words. Sticking to you like glue, helping around the house with the excuse of spending time with you all just to make sure you're okay. Getting you small gifts throughout the week, leaving sticky notes on the fridge, sending you absolute nonsense messages throughout the day to pull a smile out of you, and taking you into his arms every chance he gets.

He'll care silently until he corners you in the kitchen one night. He'll brush your hair behind your ears before looking into your eyes - "you can tell me what's wrong, baby. tell me what's going on, yeah? I love you"

He'll listen to every word you have to say. He'll let you curl up into you and press your face into his shoulder as you lay all your worries in front of him. Junhui will absentmindedly fiddle with your fingers, and play with your hair as he listens because he's also getting a little anxious as he realises how much the nerves have been bothering you.

"I can't tell you it won't be anxious, baby. Because it will be at first, it always is. For maybe, a couple hours? A day?" He'll try. "But I know you, I know my girl. you're going to do so well, I know that"

"Don't forget you have me, okay? I'm always here. I know I can't really be there...on site. But, you're still going to get my hourly check-in messages! and you can call me anytime, no? I'll always be here, I will"

If you have a little cry because of the anxiety, Junhui will be right there to hold your hand through it. He's reminding you to breathe, baby, breathe for me and he rubs your back as you try to come back, being so so careful and gentle with you. He'll cradle your face in his palms and pout exaggeratedly once you've calmed down, trying to pull a smile out of you. Once he's got you all back to him, he'll tug until you're entangled in him, heartbeat against your ear.

"I wish I could make it better, baby, I really do" He'll stroke his fingers down your back. "Hey, It's going to be okay, okay? You have me. It's tough, baby, I know, I'm sorry. But I promise, I'm going to be right there with you. You won't be alone in this, not for a second. I'm always here"

"You're going to do great, just like you've always been. I'm so proud of you. So proud, you don't understand"

"I love you so much, angel. You have me, right here. I'm here"

OKAY THIS WAS VERY RUSHED AND VERY OUT OF ORDER BECAUSE I WENT INTO A WORD VOMIT RATHER THAN A PROPERLY STRUCTURED WORK. ( also it's past midnight so I have no idea what I'm writing rn, I feel like I'm possessed. I'll prolly write something properly worded based on this too cause it was just TOO ADORABLE )

thank you.