Anonymous Part Thirteen - L.hs 18+

anonymous part thirteen - l.hs 18+

anonymous masterlist

anonymous part twenty five - l.hs 18+

anonymous masterlist

(disclaimer: bit of a heavy chapter but we're airing out all the issues we have here lol,,,,,, so lots of character development <3 sorry for slower updates, I'm back to work now!)

“So,” you mumbled over the rim of your mug. “This is kind of weird.”

Heeseung caught your gaze from opposite you, opting to just hum in response. You’d arrived home a little while ago from lunch with the boys, you texted Heeseung on the drive home to ask him if he wanted to have a chat when you got back. In hindsight, that sounded terrifying but you honestly just wanted to settle things a bit.

Sunoo had mentioned how rough things were for Heeseung recently, especially with all the mess from his ‘job’. Sunoo never went into detail, he said it was Heeseung’s business and he didn’t want to upset him by telling you. Which you respected, you’d learned by now that Sunoo was a loyal friend.

“Did you want to talk about something?” Heeseung asked, he seemed nervous. His fingers were tugging and pulling at the threads of his jumper and he was finding it hard to be in your presence without feeling his cheeks flush.

“Kind of,” you replied. “I just mostly wanted to talk so that things aren’t super awkward between us. And I wanted to talk about things without Jungwon here, because I know he doesn’t know about all of this shit.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t need to know all that,” Heeseung laughed awkwardly. “I know you said to stop apologising, but I honestly don’t understand what was going through my brain when I did all that.”

“I don’t know either Heeseung,” you sighed. “The whole thing was a bit fucked up, and I probably could’ve looked past the fact that you were Ethan if you’d have told me sooner rather than letting me find out by accident. The worst part was the obsessive behaviour.”

“I get that,” he tucked his feet up underneath him. “It was weird for me, when I was Ethan I felt completely different to when I was Heeseung. Because Ethan got your attention, and I know it was because of the money and you probably felt that you had to talk to me more because of all the money I sent, but the attention got to my head I think.”

“Yeah, and that’s my fault too. Like, we’re both to blame, I definitely lead you on when you were Ethan because of the money. But I’ve been in that situation before and it’s so hard to keep those boundaries sometimes, I’m glad it ended even if it ruined our friendship for a while.”

It was harsh but true, and Heeseung knew that. The ‘relationship’ you two had when he was Ethan had to end, it was never going to go anywhere and Heeseung knew that deep down, but he wanted to stay in his little delusional world for a little longer. And the fact that he never got to tell you himself made it worse, it definitely did ruin whatever friendship you two had in the real world.

“I’m glad it ended too, in a bittersweet way,” Heeseung replied, he took a sip from his own drink and you could see how his hands shook a little bit. “I do miss it sometimes, but now that we’re out of that situation I can see how toxic it was. I felt like we had something, but it was purely because I felt like you owed me attention when I sent money. And now that I’m slightly less of a fucking incel, I can see that it was stupid to think that. I really am sorry Y/N, I never meant for it to get out of hand like that. And when Jake and I became friends I never even knew he was friends with you too, maybe that was the universe’s way of telling me to sort my shit out and stop what I was doing.”

You nodded, it felt good to get everything off your chest, “the universe simultaneously split us up and bought us back together again, maybe we were destined to be friends.”

Heeseung looked up at you finally, wide eyes blinking slowly as he took in your face. You smiled softly at him.

“Does that mean we’re friends again?” He asked you, hanging off your every word like a puppy.

You smiled wider, “yeah, friends again.”

And for the first time since you’d started talking, Heeseung actually smiled at you. It was genuine and warm, he was truly happy. He didn’t reply, he just nodded, biting down on his lip to stop the grin that threatened to split his face.

“So we can agree to put it all behind us, yeah? Let’s act like it never happened,” he nodded, grateful for your forgiveness. “I’ve taken a step back from that side of my life now anyway, I wasn’t enjoying the dm sessions and the personal content, I prefer just making videos and putting content out that I want to create.”

“That’s good, you should do what makes you happy,” Heeseung started to fiddle with his sleeve again. Even though he wasn’t Ethan anymore, he still was enamoured with you, and thinking about you talking to other guys made his stomach churn unpleasantly. He reminded himself that it was your job, you didn’t care for clients like that.

If he thought about it too long then he’d start spiralling again, so Heeseung decided to not ask any more questions about your job. The less he knew the better. He didn’t want to become the obsessed version of himself that he was when he was Ethan.

“I did want to talk about something else before Wonnie comes home,” you said, bringing him out of his thoughts. “It’s to do with your job.”

Heeseung paled a little bit, it was part of his life where he was truly ashamed. He hated that he’d followed in his father’s footsteps, especially when he had promised Jungwon to look after him. He felt like he wasn’t doing a good job at that, Jungwon was in danger every day because of him.

“Heeseung?” You called, snapping him out of his thoughts, “can you tell me about it? I need to know what we’re dealing with here, so I can help you out of it.”

Heeseung thought he might cry, why were you being so kind to him after everything?

“There’s no way to sugar coat it,” he started, slumping down onto the couch. “I sell drugs. Our Dad did it too, and I took over when he got caught. He’s in prison now for a long time, and he left me to look after Jungwon. I was only seventeen when he left us, and I had no idea what to do, I didn’t want them to take Jungwon away so I lied about everything to everyone. I told them I worked in a convenience store, and no one questioned it.”

You could see how Heeseung’s eyes started to get glossy again as he blinked back the tears. You hated that he’d been through so much already. Putting your mug down on the table, you stood up and made your way to the other couch to sit next to Heeseung. If it was anyone else you would’ve hugged them, but for now just sitting next to him felt like enough. You didn’t want to overwhelm him.

“I’ve been fine for years, I never had to worry about a thing because I was good at the job. When Jungwon got into university I had to fund it myself, I lied to Won and told him we had savings from Dad but in reality we have nothing from him. I spent all our money on his fees, so I had to up my game a bit and sell more, sell harder stuff. And we were fine for so long,” he took in a sharp breath. “But I sold the wrong thing to the wrong guy and now his entire family is after me, and they’ll go for Jungwon too just to get at me. They have my address so we had to leave until I can find out a way to get them off my back.”

You didn’t know what to say in all honesty, you’d never have imagined such a thing from Heeseung. Your soft and quiet Heeseung. One thing you did know was that you wanted to help him.

Pulling your sleeve over you hand, you dabbed at the tear marks on his cheeks, wiping away the droplets. He looked up at you, his eyelashes were wet and his eyes looked so much more endearing like this. He looked really pretty and it was going to get you in trouble if you kept looking at him. Curse your attraction to pathetic looking men, now was not the time.

“I’m sorry Hee,” you mumbled. “But we’ll figure it out. We’ll figure it out and get you out of this job, and then you’ll never have to worry about this shit. And we’ll keep Jungwon safe, I promise you that.”

You rubbed his back gently, you wanted to hug him but you didn’t want to push your luck. Things were still fragile between you two, baby steps were the way to go.

“Thank you Y/N, honestly,” he leant back into your touch a little, closing his eyes at the warmth coming from your hand. “I really want to get out of this, I just want a quiet life for me and Jungwon.”

“We’ll make sure that happens, it might take a while but we can figure it out. You’ve got me on your side now,” you gave him a light pat on his back before removing your touch and standing up. You offered him a hand, which he took gently and let you pull him to his feet. “But first, I’m hungry. What’s Won’s favourite food?”

anonymous part thirty two - l.hs 18+

anonymous masterlist

You didn’t know why you were nervous. It’s not like this was the first date you’d ever been on. And it wasn’t the first time you’d hung out with Heeseung either.

But knowing it would be the two of you all night, in a place so unfamiliar to you both, was setting your nerves on fire. The two of you had agreed to leave at six thirty, the gallery opened at seven and you two would spend a little time driving there beforehand. But it was now six and you had been ready for over an hour, sitting in your room fiddling with the hem of your dress nervously.

You’d been living with Heeseung and Jungwon for a few weeks now, yet you and Heeseung had never been out together. Sure you’d spent time together in the house, you spent almost every evening relaxing on the sofa in comfortable silence since the situation with Jungwon, but going out on a pre-planned date was a whole new step up.

You checked your texts, Sunoo and Sunghoon would be arriving at around seven to stay with Jungwon for a while whilst you were both out. Jungwon was a lot better now, he was out of bed and doing everything himself, but you still wanted the others there just in case. He was a little forgetful and you didn’t want him to forget to take his medicine or hurt himself.

Grabbing your lip gloss, you applied it again to your lips almost as if it was a nervous habit. But the sweet strawberry smell calmed you down as you closed the tube and tucked it into your purse. You glanced in the mirror, tugging the hem of your dress down where it has crinkled and smoothing down your hair. This was the first time you had really dressed up for a man, and there was a tiny part of you that yearned for Heeseung’s approval. It wasn’t very ‘independent strong woman’ of you.

A light knock sounded on your door and your eyes quickly whipped towards that direction, “Y/N? Can I come in?”

Jungwon. You called out in approval and waited as he slipped through the door, shutting it tight behind him. He was wearing one of your hoodies, he’d borrowed it a few days ago and decided he never wanted to give it back.

“Wow,” he breathed, bounding over to you with a wide grin on his face. “You look so pretty, Heeseung is going to collapse when he sees you.”

You laughed lightly, “do you think he’ll like it?” You asked him, still fidgeting with your clothes and your bag. You couldn’t keep still from the nerves.

“Since when did you ever seek male validation?” Jungwon teased, ducking when you went to flick his forehead in retaliation, “sorry, sorry! He’ll love it though, I promise! If it makes you feel any better, he’s more nervous than you right now.”

“He is?” It comforted you a bit knowing that he was worried as well, it meant he cared.

“Yeah, he keeps asking me to straighten his clothes for him or check his hair even though I’ve done it about fifty times now. I actually came to tell you that he’s ready to go if you are, it’s almost time to leave,” your eyes widened, glancing down at your phone to see that it was in fact six thirty.

Jungwon must’ve noticed your worry, he smiled softly and gave you a quick hug. Even though the younger boy felt like a baby to you, he was still a little taller and you nuzzled your face into the fabric of your hoodie which now held his scent. Just being around Jungwon calmed you down, he really was like best friend you needed the most.

“Heeseung’s waiting Y/N, you’ll have the best time I promise,” Jungwon brushed your hair back for you with kind eyes. “I know he can be a little shy and bad at expressing his feelings, but trust me when I say that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him, to us. So don’t feel nervous, just enjoy it.”

“Thank you Wonnie,” you said, reaching up to ruffle his hair, much to his annoyance. “You’ll be ok until the boys arrive?”

“Of course, I can’t wait to see Sunoo and meet Sunghoon! It feels like ages since I saw him last,” Jungwon pouted but it was light hearted. Sunoo felt like a brother to him, and from what he’d heard about Sunghoon he was excited to meet him too.

“Ok, I’ll leave you be then,” you smiled, hooking your purse over your shoulder and giving yourself a once over. “Wish me luck.”

Jungwon all but pushed you out the door and you made your way to the living room, seeing Heeseung standing there waiting for you, his head angled down as he stared at his phone blankly. You took a moment to look at him, his hair was styled a little differently and fell in messy waves across his forehead. He wore a plain black suit and shoes, but he’d paired it with a pretty blouse that made him look incredibly handsome. You’d never seen Heeseung dressed up before and you felt your knees buckle at the sight.

Heeseung felt your presence as you walked in and he looked up from his phone, he was just staring at the settings page pretending he was busy, and he almost fell to the floor. Considering he had seen you naked hundreds of times in your videos you’d have thought he would be used to you by now, but seeing you dressed in a beautiful lace top and tight dress made him feel weak at the knees. You looked like a dream as you nervously rocked back and forth on your heels.

“Y/N,” he breathed out, clearing his throat as he tucked his phone away. “You look beautiful.”

You tried to hide your blush but it was impossible, Heeseung made you flustered so easily, “thank you, you look really good too.”

You took a few steps forward, standing directly in front of him. Being this close, Heeseung could smell the sticky sweetness of your lip gloss. He wanted to reach forward, run his tongue across your lips and taste it, wanted to suck your bottom lip between his teeth and bite down until he heard the pretty whines he missed so much.

“Are you ready to go?” You asked, tilting your head slightly at him. He nodded, pulling out his car keys ready and clearing those thoughts from his head.

“Yeah sure,” Heeseung opened the front door for you, closing and locking it behind him. Sunghoon had a spare key for your house anyway. “I hope you don’t mind us going in my little old car.”

You smiled genuinely, even after knowing you all this time he was still nervous around you, “Heeseung, you could drive a golf cart for all I care.”

He laughed, a pretty smile across his lips, “it’s a little faster than a golf cart. But that’s good to know.”

He opened the door for you, lending you his arm as you ducked down into this car. You buckled yourself up as he shut the door softly and rushed around to his side, getting comfortable next to you. When he turned on the engine, soft music immediately started playing from his speakers connected to his phone. Heeseung unlocked it, handing it to you, “you can play whatever you like, I want to know what sort of music you’re into.”

The gesture made you giddy, was he always this much of a smooth talker? You mumbled a reply, scrolling through various songs and adding them to the queue as he started driving to the gallery. The sun had begun to set and a pretty orange glow settled across the horizon, reflecting onto Heeseung’s face as he drove. You tried not to stare but it was hard, he looked so handsome in this lighting.

“I love this song,” Heeseung said suddenly, breaking you out of the trance you were in. “I didn’t know you liked ‘Dayglow’? Their songs are so calming.”

“Yeah, I prefer soft music,” you placed his phone down into one of the cupholders. “But it’s interesting to see how different our music taste is, it’s fun.”

He hummed in agreement, “you should recommend me some songs and I can try them out.”

You bit back a smile, opting to just nod even though you were sure he couldn’t see you. Heeseung was focused on driving, one hand resting on the steering wheel whilst the other sat idly on the gearstick. You noticed familiar surroundings as he pulled into a parking lot near the gallery, had the car ride really gone that quickly? You’d spent all that time staring at him.

Heeseung parked the car and jumped out quickly, not even giving you time before he was opening your door for you. He really was a gentleman.

“It’s pretty cold,” he mumbled as you stood next to him and he shut the car door, locking it. “Do you want my jacket?”

You shook your head softly, “I’m ok, it’s not too bad. Thank you though Hee.”

Heeseung was glad it was dark already so that you wouldn’t be able to see the blush that decorated his cheeks. In the distance you could hear excited chatter and a few camera’s flashing. You probably should’ve briefed Heeseung beforehand but you had completely forgotten to, far too nervous about your first date with him to think of anything else.

“I forgot to say, there’s probably going to be a lot of people taking pictures tonight. I was invited here by the gallery for exposure, so they’ll most likely take pictures of us together, is that ok?” It was easy to forget that you were pretty well known nowadays, amassing hundreds of thousands of fans online, and the mainstream media had started to catch wind of it all. In your small town it was fine, you were able to go out without being recognised, but now, in the city, at a gallery opening you knew people would be asking after you. Not once had it crossed your mind that maybe Heeseung wouldn’t want that, being dragged into the spotlight without his knowledge.

“It’s ok Y/N,” he reassured you, placing a hand gently on your arm. “It’ll be fine, we just have to smile right?”

You nodded at him, taking a breath to calm yourself as you started to head down the road towards the venue, heels tapping on the concrete. Heeseung kept his hands to himself, letting the hand by his sides in the hopes you would make the first move.

So you did. You reached over, gently taking his hand in yours and locking your fingers together. Heeseung tried not to act bothered, instead squeezing your hand in his a little tighter, when in reality his heart was beating at one hundred miles an hour. It felt natural to hold you like this, it felt comfortable, and he hoped it wasn’t just for show in front of the cameras.

You rounded the corner where you could see the opening of the gallery, decorated with pretty lights and flowers. There was a few cameramen, it was a small event, and they immediately started capturing photos of the two of you as you made your way into the gallery. You smiled and waved shyly to those who were calling your name, Heeseung accompanying you. He felt a swell of pride in his chest hearing your name left and right, knowing people were anticipating your arrival and were excited to capture just one photo of you.

He felt you relax a little once the doors closed behind you, waiters passing you drinks as you walked through the entrance area. Heeseung squeezed your hand tightly, urging you to look up at him as he smiled down at you warmly. You smiled back, taking a sip of the alcohol they had served you, champagne maybe? It was a lot fancier than the vodka red bulls that Jake usually made you.

“It’s so pretty in here,” you noted, eyes scanning the first room which was decorated with many paintings. There were other rooms with sculptures, modern art, anything you could think of, and you couldn’t wait to see all of them.

Heeseung pulled you over to a quieter part of the room where less people had congregated, looking around at some paintings by lesser known artists. He watched as your eyes widened in awe at the work, smiling the most he had in a long while.

That’s how the next few hours continued. The two of you made your way through all the different rooms, enjoying the art and making little comments to one another. The conversation flowed smoothly, the two of you in your own little world as you just enjoyed spending time together. Occasionally other people would come up to you and have a quick chat, some of them even took pictures of the two of you which you were sure would end up on twitter later. Heeseung would pose like a natural, wrapping an arm around your waist and smiling slightly at the cameras. But it was fun, you were having fun with Heeseung and you didn’t at any point feel nervous or awkward.

“You look really pretty tonight Y/N,” Heeseung said again, probably for the third time that night, as you neared the end of the last exhibit. “I know I’ve said it a few times but I mean it, you’re always pretty but this dress looks incredible on you.”

You turned to him, hand still in his after all those hours, and tilted your head up to look at him. A wide smile was on your face, compliments from men were the norm for you, but compliments from Heeseung made you giddy. That’s how you knew you were perhaps a little bit whipped for him.

Heeseung was feeling a little more confident tonight, he felt comfortable enough around you to be more like himself. He let go of your hand, reaching for your waist instead as he pulled you towards him gently. Your own hands went to rest on his chest, curling the fabric of his blouse between your fingers. You were sure it was getting wrinkled but you didn’t care much, all you could think about was how he was so close that you could smell his cologne and feel his heart beating under your palms. Heeseung could once again smell your strawberry lip gloss, and he’d been holding back so long that he really wanted to taste it.

“Can I kiss you Y/N?” He asked, dipping his head down lower so that you could hear his soft tone over the gentle background music that was playing.

“You don’t need to ask,” you replied back, lips curling upwards as his expression mirrored your own. Heeseung tugged you forward, letting his mouth press against yours gently. And whatever he had imagined in his dreams was nothing compared to the real thing. He let himself get lost in the feeling, tilting his head a little to bring you closer into him.

You gasped lightly, opening your mouth to let his tongue push between your lips. You could feel the eyes of other guests on you but you didn’t care, all the mattered was the feeling of Heeseung’s body pressed against yours as you desperately held onto his shirt to keep him close.

You knew you needed to pull away eventually, but when Heeseung bit on your bottom lip you couldn’t help the whine that left your throat. Heeseung smiled against your lips, licking to soothe the area before pulling away. You breathed heavily, watching as he licked the gloss off his lips that had smudged against him.

“Holy fuck,” he mumbled. “I waited so long to be able to do that.”

“Me too,” you replied shyly. Since when were you the shy one? You leant up to peck his lips once more before pulling back completely.

Heeseung squeezed your waist before letting you go, latching onto your hand once again. You were still staring up at him, taking in the way his eyes were wide, pupils blown, and his lips were puffy and pink. You reached up, using your thumb to wipe at the remnants of your lip gloss off the corner of his mouth and onto his lips. His tongue darted out, licking your thumb as you pulled away giggling.

“I had fun tonight,” you said, arms swinging between you as you made your way back to the car. “It was good to spend time with you outside of the house.”

“Yeah? Was it everything you hoped it would be?” Heeseung replied, unlocking his car and standing in front of you.

“Best first date ever,” you said, leaning up once again to kiss him softly. “It was perfect.”

“I’m glad, I had a lot of fun too,” he leant behind you and opened the door for you to sit down. You thought he’d close the door but instead he ducked down, reaching over and grabbing your seatbelt to buckle you in. Your heart fluttered at the gesture, eyes tracking his every movement. Heeseung stopped in front of your face, he couldn’t help himself from kissing you gently again. “Let’s get you home now, before I spend all night kissing your lips.”

You nodded, agreeing with him as he shut the door and jogged over to the driver’s side of the car. But as you laid in your bed that night, eyes wide open as you willed yourself to sleep, you thought that you probably wouldn’t have minded if he stayed with you all night. In fact, Heeseung had made his way so far into your heart that you wouldn’t have minded if he stayed every night. You were so fucked.

anonymous part twenty nine - l.hs 18+

anonymous masterlist

anonymous part twelve - l.hs 18+

anonymous masterlist

(some notes: yn doesnt follow ethan on twt,,,, she literally only sees him as a client, theyre not friends in her eyes so she doesnt follow him or keep up with his tweets, she has so many men after her that she has no time for that,,,,, hence why ethan can tweet about the situ and not get caught,,,,, HOWEVER he is delulu and thinks yn likes him more than a client,,, even tho yn has said it so many times lmfao,,,,, yn has a soft spot for him but its purely monetary based bc he basically funds half her lifestyle,,,,, hope that clears things up!! ethan delulu, yn a whore for money..... oh and irl heeseung is insane too bc he's mad that yn pays attention to ethan when he is literally ethan??? make it make sense heeseung. also hes a lil slow to catch on to things simply bc he's so delulu over yn, think of it as a celeb crush/parasocial relationship lol. anyway if u have questions pls ask! see the anonymous smau tag to see previous stuff ive answerd &lt;;3)

Omg I feel so bad rn

anonymous part seventeen - l.hs 18+

anonymous masterlist

(don't forget to read part 16 before this one, i double updated today!!)