Anonymous Part Thirty Three - L.hs 18+

anonymous part thirty three - l.hs 18+

anonymous masterlist

anonymous part twenty nine - l.hs 18+

anonymous masterlist

anonymous part twenty five - l.hs 18+

anonymous masterlist

(disclaimer: bit of a heavy chapter but we're airing out all the issues we have here lol,,,,,, so lots of character development <3 sorry for slower updates, I'm back to work now!)

“So,” you mumbled over the rim of your mug. “This is kind of weird.”

Heeseung caught your gaze from opposite you, opting to just hum in response. You’d arrived home a little while ago from lunch with the boys, you texted Heeseung on the drive home to ask him if he wanted to have a chat when you got back. In hindsight, that sounded terrifying but you honestly just wanted to settle things a bit.

Sunoo had mentioned how rough things were for Heeseung recently, especially with all the mess from his ‘job’. Sunoo never went into detail, he said it was Heeseung’s business and he didn’t want to upset him by telling you. Which you respected, you’d learned by now that Sunoo was a loyal friend.

“Did you want to talk about something?” Heeseung asked, he seemed nervous. His fingers were tugging and pulling at the threads of his jumper and he was finding it hard to be in your presence without feeling his cheeks flush.

“Kind of,” you replied. “I just mostly wanted to talk so that things aren’t super awkward between us. And I wanted to talk about things without Jungwon here, because I know he doesn’t know about all of this shit.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t need to know all that,” Heeseung laughed awkwardly. “I know you said to stop apologising, but I honestly don’t understand what was going through my brain when I did all that.”

“I don’t know either Heeseung,” you sighed. “The whole thing was a bit fucked up, and I probably could’ve looked past the fact that you were Ethan if you’d have told me sooner rather than letting me find out by accident. The worst part was the obsessive behaviour.”

“I get that,” he tucked his feet up underneath him. “It was weird for me, when I was Ethan I felt completely different to when I was Heeseung. Because Ethan got your attention, and I know it was because of the money and you probably felt that you had to talk to me more because of all the money I sent, but the attention got to my head I think.”

“Yeah, and that’s my fault too. Like, we’re both to blame, I definitely lead you on when you were Ethan because of the money. But I’ve been in that situation before and it’s so hard to keep those boundaries sometimes, I’m glad it ended even if it ruined our friendship for a while.”

It was harsh but true, and Heeseung knew that. The ‘relationship’ you two had when he was Ethan had to end, it was never going to go anywhere and Heeseung knew that deep down, but he wanted to stay in his little delusional world for a little longer. And the fact that he never got to tell you himself made it worse, it definitely did ruin whatever friendship you two had in the real world.

“I’m glad it ended too, in a bittersweet way,” Heeseung replied, he took a sip from his own drink and you could see how his hands shook a little bit. “I do miss it sometimes, but now that we’re out of that situation I can see how toxic it was. I felt like we had something, but it was purely because I felt like you owed me attention when I sent money. And now that I’m slightly less of a fucking incel, I can see that it was stupid to think that. I really am sorry Y/N, I never meant for it to get out of hand like that. And when Jake and I became friends I never even knew he was friends with you too, maybe that was the universe’s way of telling me to sort my shit out and stop what I was doing.”

You nodded, it felt good to get everything off your chest, “the universe simultaneously split us up and bought us back together again, maybe we were destined to be friends.”

Heeseung looked up at you finally, wide eyes blinking slowly as he took in your face. You smiled softly at him.

“Does that mean we’re friends again?” He asked you, hanging off your every word like a puppy.

You smiled wider, “yeah, friends again.”

And for the first time since you’d started talking, Heeseung actually smiled at you. It was genuine and warm, he was truly happy. He didn’t reply, he just nodded, biting down on his lip to stop the grin that threatened to split his face.

“So we can agree to put it all behind us, yeah? Let’s act like it never happened,” he nodded, grateful for your forgiveness. “I’ve taken a step back from that side of my life now anyway, I wasn’t enjoying the dm sessions and the personal content, I prefer just making videos and putting content out that I want to create.”

“That’s good, you should do what makes you happy,” Heeseung started to fiddle with his sleeve again. Even though he wasn’t Ethan anymore, he still was enamoured with you, and thinking about you talking to other guys made his stomach churn unpleasantly. He reminded himself that it was your job, you didn’t care for clients like that.

If he thought about it too long then he’d start spiralling again, so Heeseung decided to not ask any more questions about your job. The less he knew the better. He didn’t want to become the obsessed version of himself that he was when he was Ethan.

“I did want to talk about something else before Wonnie comes home,” you said, bringing him out of his thoughts. “It’s to do with your job.”

Heeseung paled a little bit, it was part of his life where he was truly ashamed. He hated that he’d followed in his father’s footsteps, especially when he had promised Jungwon to look after him. He felt like he wasn’t doing a good job at that, Jungwon was in danger every day because of him.

“Heeseung?” You called, snapping him out of his thoughts, “can you tell me about it? I need to know what we’re dealing with here, so I can help you out of it.”

Heeseung thought he might cry, why were you being so kind to him after everything?

“There’s no way to sugar coat it,” he started, slumping down onto the couch. “I sell drugs. Our Dad did it too, and I took over when he got caught. He’s in prison now for a long time, and he left me to look after Jungwon. I was only seventeen when he left us, and I had no idea what to do, I didn’t want them to take Jungwon away so I lied about everything to everyone. I told them I worked in a convenience store, and no one questioned it.”

You could see how Heeseung’s eyes started to get glossy again as he blinked back the tears. You hated that he’d been through so much already. Putting your mug down on the table, you stood up and made your way to the other couch to sit next to Heeseung. If it was anyone else you would’ve hugged them, but for now just sitting next to him felt like enough. You didn’t want to overwhelm him.

“I’ve been fine for years, I never had to worry about a thing because I was good at the job. When Jungwon got into university I had to fund it myself, I lied to Won and told him we had savings from Dad but in reality we have nothing from him. I spent all our money on his fees, so I had to up my game a bit and sell more, sell harder stuff. And we were fine for so long,” he took in a sharp breath. “But I sold the wrong thing to the wrong guy and now his entire family is after me, and they’ll go for Jungwon too just to get at me. They have my address so we had to leave until I can find out a way to get them off my back.”

You didn’t know what to say in all honesty, you’d never have imagined such a thing from Heeseung. Your soft and quiet Heeseung. One thing you did know was that you wanted to help him.

Pulling your sleeve over you hand, you dabbed at the tear marks on his cheeks, wiping away the droplets. He looked up at you, his eyelashes were wet and his eyes looked so much more endearing like this. He looked really pretty and it was going to get you in trouble if you kept looking at him. Curse your attraction to pathetic looking men, now was not the time.

“I’m sorry Hee,” you mumbled. “But we’ll figure it out. We’ll figure it out and get you out of this job, and then you’ll never have to worry about this shit. And we’ll keep Jungwon safe, I promise you that.”

You rubbed his back gently, you wanted to hug him but you didn’t want to push your luck. Things were still fragile between you two, baby steps were the way to go.

“Thank you Y/N, honestly,” he leant back into your touch a little, closing his eyes at the warmth coming from your hand. “I really want to get out of this, I just want a quiet life for me and Jungwon.”

“We’ll make sure that happens, it might take a while but we can figure it out. You’ve got me on your side now,” you gave him a light pat on his back before removing your touch and standing up. You offered him a hand, which he took gently and let you pull him to his feet. “But first, I’m hungry. What’s Won’s favourite food?”

anonymous part fifteen - l.hs 18+

anonymous masterlist

“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” you mumbled under your breath as you shuffled behind Jake. You wanted to go out to ger your mind off of things, and now you were headed to a club where you’d meet Heeseung, the source of one of your many problems. At least it wasn’t Ethan, that was the tiny silver lining.

“It’ll be fine,” Sunghoon giggled as he linked an arm through yours. “Maybe a drink or two will loosen him up and he’ll be all over you then, I know you wore that dress to impress him.”

“Am I not allowed to just wear a nice dress because I want to?” You replied, a frown on your lips. You weren’t angry at Sunghoon for what he said, you were angry because he was right.

“Oh you can,” Jay piped up from your other side as he grabbed your hand. “But we all know you dressed up a little nicer than usual because of a certain someone.”

“Yeah well, I doubt he’ll even look my way,” you smiled sadly. You didn’t know why it hurt so bad to be rejected by Heeseung. Hell, you hadn’t even been rejected, he just ghosted you after one small conversation, it wasn’t that deep. But still, it was just your luck that the one guy you had wanted in a long time was the one guy who didn’t want you.

“He’d be a fool not to,” Jay said softly, kissing the side of your head. You appreciated your friends so much, you could always count on them to make you feel loved.

“The queue is so fucking long guys,” Jake whined, replacing Sunghoon to hang off your arm and lean his head on your shoulder. You smiled, letting go of Jay to ruffle Jake’s hair a little.

“It’s fine Jake, let Jay talk to them,” you gestured your best friend to go chat to the bouncers. “His dad probably owns like half of these clubs so we’ll get in easy.”

“I always forget he’s like the son of a famous CEO,” Sunghoon muses. “And look at him, getting a little internet fame for being the cock in a few of Y/N’s videos.”

Jay came back quickly, rolling his eyes and Sunghoon, “actually I’ve been the cock in like at least seven videos, put some respect on my name. I just got us in.”

Sunghoon changed up immediately, rushing to Jay’s side, “how can I ever thank you? I’ll clean your room for a month, I’ll cook for you, I’ll-”

“How about you stop leaving your dirty cum towels on the floor?”

“Moving on…” Sunghoon rushed away into the club, past the crowds of people trying desperately to get in. You and the other two stood there giggling, trying to compose yourselves before entering the high class place. It was a step up from what you usually went to, but it was nice, you knew you would have a good time here.

“Come on you,” Jake said, standing up straight and tugging your through the main doors. You held his hand tight, letting him lead you towards a room where you could hear music playing and the constant chatter of people around. It was more like a bar than a club, the music was a little softer so that it didn’t hurt your ears, and more people were standing around talking that dancing. You liked this a lot better.

“Where the fuck did Sunghoon go?” You mumbled, the three of you glancing around. He had a tendency to sneak off on nights out, but you were determined not to lose him this early.

“There he is!” Jay shouted over the music, pointing to the bar over in the corner of the room where Sunghoon sat chatting with a familiar pair. Sunoo and Heeseung.

Jake rushed over, leaving you and Jay standing on the other side of the room. Jay reached down to take your hand again, rubbing soft circles over your knuckles, “we don’t have to go over if you don’t want to.”

You wanted to cry, why were your friends so nice to you? But you wanted to stay, the worst that could happen was that Heeseung would continue to ignore you, and you had already dealt with those emotions already.

“No it’s ok,” you turned to Jay with a small smile, squeezing his hand. “I can be civil, plus Sunoo is cool, I want to hang out with him too.”

Jay smiled proudly, tugging you in for a quick hug before pulling away completely. If you were paying attention, you’d have noticed the way Heeseung glanced over at you multiple times, watching the exchange. His hand was wrapped tightly around his glass, but he willed himself to relax. You and Jay are just friends, he’d tell himself, he’s got no competition there.

“Hey guys,” you said as you joined the others at the bar. Sunoo greeted you with a small hug and a big smile, saying how happy he was to see you again. Heeseung just smiled, giving you a little wave in response. At least he wasn’t ignoring you.

On the inside, Heeseung was dying. You were so close to him but so far out of reach, he couldn’t touch you, he was Heeseung now not Ethan. And in his mind, you were only interested in him when he was Ethan, there was no room for Heeseung in your life. God, he was going to go insane if he kept thinking about this fucked up situation he’d gotten himself into. And it was all your fault, if he wasn’t so addicted to sending you money and getting unlimited attention as Ethan then maybe he’d be able to talk to you as Heeseung. It was all your fault, he wanted to hate you for that, but then his mind wondered to the dress you were wearing as if his money had paid for it. He was back to square one again. His fingers itched to grab his phone, open your payment screen and send away.

“How are you?” You asked him, bringing him out of his thoughts as you slid into the seat next to him. All the others had gone off to the dance floor, leaving the two of you at the bar nursing your drinks.

“I’m good,” he replied, voice strained. He couldn’t stop thinking about what underwear you might’ve been wearing under that dress. He needed to leave, he stood up abruptly but you beat him to it, matching his gestures and standing in front of him.

“You’re avoiding me,” you stated, narrowing your eyes. “Look, if I did something wrong then tell me, but please stop avoiding me. It’s making things awkward and I feel bad even though I have no idea why.”

“I’m not avoiding you,” Heeseung replied. He was so much taller than you that you had to take a step back, it was becoming intimidating.

“You definitely are, you ghosted me!” You whined a little, knowing it would usually get you what you want. But Heeseung stood strong, even if the voices in his head were screaming at him to break down and give you everything you wanted. Heeseung in real life was a lot stronger than Ethan.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t use my social media much,” he lied. He had all your notifications on. “It wasn’t intentional.”

“It wasn’t?” You asked quietly, cocking your head to the side a little.

“I promise it wasn’t,” he replied. Heeseung needed to get away for a moment, he was suffocating in your presence and he could feel sweat beading on his forehead. “Look, let me go to the bathroom quick then we can chat properly.”

You nodded, an embarrassed flush on your cheeks as you realised your actions may have been a little overdramatic. You stepped aside, slipping back into your chair as he rushed off, leaving his phone face up on the bar. You didn’t look at it, although the little voice in your head told you to take a snoop, but you just took note of it in case someone tried to steal it.

Taking your own phone out, you scrolled through twitter. Your dm’s were filled with requests for more content, more videos with Jay. There were unopened ones from Ethan, you’d turned off the notifications for them now as it clogged up your phone. Clicking the compose tweet button, you typed out a quick message to your followers.

‘Out drinking tonight, you guys should pay for my drinks 💓’

You finished the tweet off with a link to your payment methods and an outfit picture you’d taken earlier, hoping it would entice more people to pay. It usually worked like a charm, men loved sending you money to pay for things, whether it be for a new set of nails or a new outfit. They loved knowing they had bought it for you.

You hit the send tweet button, waiting a few seconds for it to publish. Locking your phone, you popped it down, noticing Heeseung’s phone light up with a notification at the same time. You frowned, looking around quickly before picking it up and taking a quick look.

‘@egirlfriend just posted a new tweet!’

anonymous part twelve - l.hs 18+

anonymous masterlist

(some notes: yn doesnt follow ethan on twt,,,, she literally only sees him as a client, theyre not friends in her eyes so she doesnt follow him or keep up with his tweets, she has so many men after her that she has no time for that,,,,, hence why ethan can tweet about the situ and not get caught,,,,, HOWEVER he is delulu and thinks yn likes him more than a client,,, even tho yn has said it so many times lmfao,,,,, yn has a soft spot for him but its purely monetary based bc he basically funds half her lifestyle,,,,, hope that clears things up!! ethan delulu, yn a whore for money..... oh and irl heeseung is insane too bc he's mad that yn pays attention to ethan when he is literally ethan??? make it make sense heeseung. also hes a lil slow to catch on to things simply bc he's so delulu over yn, think of it as a celeb crush/parasocial relationship lol. anyway if u have questions pls ask! see the anonymous smau tag to see previous stuff ive answerd &lt;;3)

anonymous part twenty four - l.hs 18+

anonymous masterlist

(I double updated today so make sure you read p23 before this one!!)