Nikola Tesla - Wizard

Nikola Tesla - Wizard

Thomas Edison - Sorceror

A big part of history is context, and this is even more true when it comes to the great figures of history. Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison were huge competitors, to the point where neither really makes sense without the other.

I chose the character classes for these two men based primarily on their approach to the scientific method. Tesla was educated, methodical, and based most of his work on established scientific principles; conversely, Edison's work tended to be based just on whatever he thought would work, with his huge number of failures being attributed, by Tesla, to Edison's lack of theoretical background. So even though Tesla was the more wildly emotional man -- he was obsessed with cleanliness, for example, and was neurotic about the number 3 -- it's actually Edison that fits the Sorceror title better.

When designing these two, I tried to reflect their personality more than their class in their costume. Wizards are generally seen as the more ostentatious group, but Tesla's personality would brook no clutter, so Tesla's outfit is streamlined and practical. Conversely, Edison's outfit is full of gimmicks and clutter, basically anything he thought would be helpful at the time. It's also designed to make him look bigger, which I thought was appropriate given Edison's penchant for self-promotion.

In RPGs, the Wizard and the Sorceror are both magically-based character classes that focus on elemental attacks. The functional differences between them are usually fairly minor, but the Wizard is generally seen as being the more methodical of the two. It's usually the Wizard that ends up cloistered in their tower, researching new spells, and having to be enticed out for adventure. Conversely, the Sorceror's power generally comes from instinct and emotion, leaning on magical talent rather than education.

14 - Orson Welles - Orator I have to admit, there was a fair amount of competition for the Orator class. The ability to speak well has been the cornerstone of a large number of famous careers, both political and for entertainers. Orson Welles, shown here in his later, huskier years, eventually clinched it for his sheer range. Mr. Welles is perhaps best known for his broadcast of H.G. Wells’ The War of the Worlds which made half the country crap their pants, but he also lent his voice to such bizarre endeavors as The Jack Benny Show, Macbeth, and commercials for jelly. He was even the voice of a world-eating robot in Transformers: The Movie! Flexibility tends to be the hallmark of the Orator class. Capable of a wide variety of strategies and abilities, the Orator usually uses unusual voice-based skills with effects no other class has. For example, in Final Fantasy Tactics, the Orator is the only class that can convince an enemy to permanently join your side. The Orator is actually pretty rare, with most games running out of space long before they reach this humble chatterbox. It’s a bit of a shame, as I believe the Orator brings a bit of class to any game.

15, 16 and 17 - The Marx Brothers - Mime Something big and fancy for the midpoint of the challenge, ladies and gentlemen! The Marx Brothers are, without reservation, my favorite comedians of all time. They use a brilliant mixture of slapstick, wordplay, and atrocious, paint-curling puns to create some of the most hilarious movies known to man. Their influence on comedy can hardly be overstated; I find it hard to believe that there is a comedian on the face of the planet who has not been influenced in some way by the Marx Brothers. Though mostly seen as slightly creepy, silent clowns in real life, Mimes in role-playing games tend to be massively powerful, very sought-after classes. The root of their strength lies in their ability to copy the moves of other characters, often without paying the costs associated with those moves. In fact, a popular tactic with the Mime is to have all of the characters in a party become Mimes, then have one of them cast a huge, costly, powerful spell, and then have the whole party mimic the attack turn after turn, dealing huge amounts of damage. This is the main reason I felt the Mime class was so appropriate for these three: given their huge influence, there are a vast number of comedians that could be said to be Miming the Mime. Incidentally, I based their designs on the three games which use Mimes most prominently. Groucho is based on the FFV Mime (probably the most boring Mime - they just stuck shoulderpads and a cape on the Freelancer and called it a day!), Harpo is a FFT Mime, and Chico is a FFVI Mime (aka, Gogo).

Now that it's November, we can start the 30 Characters challenge properly. Our first contestant is Andrew Jackson, seventh President of the United States, pretty much the grand high llama of the inflexible position. He started out as a soldier and worked his way up to commander, gaining the nickname, “Old Hickory.” In the War of 1812, he led a group of militiamen - really, a group of pirates and slaves and anybody else that could be grabbed off the streets - to victory in the Battle of New Orleans. Really what I am trying to say is that Andy Jackson was kind of a badass, and I’d have nothing but respect for the man if he only hadn’t treated native americans like crap. Aaaand that’s where we get to Old Hickory’s character class. There are some Paladins whose only interest is in serving the greater good. And there are some Paladins who only fight in service of their god. Andrew Jackson would not have been one of those Paladins. Andrew Jackson would have been the kind of Paladin who runs screaming into a group of Goblins, foaming at the mouth. Possibly the phrase, “Inhuman monsters” would be used. Because for all that I love Andy, he really did love holding a grudge.

12 - George Washington - Onion Knight One thing that always bugs me about history is the way people talk about it as immutable. With one tiny change in a person’s life, the whole of history could be altered, but people always talk about historical figures as though the things that happened to them were Destiny with a capital D. George Washington is a great example of this. His father died when he was 11 years old, and he inherited his father’s property. If the elder Washington had lived even one or two years longer, little George would have been sent back to England for education. Imagine how different history would have unfolded with a George Washington who was fully loyal to the English crown -- heck, imagine what history would’ve been like if George had been raised by his father rather than his uncle. Similarly, the Onion Knight is all about potential. Sometimes called a Squire or Freelancer, the Onion Knight is usually the first class you receive, and as such, it’s usually pretty crappy. However, if you put a lot of effort into it, the Onion Knight can eventually come out as one of the most powerful classes in the game. So if we’re being totally honest, everybody starts out as a Lv. 1 Onion Knight, able to use only the most basic of equips. It’s with a lot of effort, experience, and luck that we become useful. ^^b

07 and 08 - Edward Drinker Cope and Othniel Charles Marsh There are some historical figures that only work when paired with one another. Just like Butch makes no sense without the Sundance Kid, as Marie Curie needed Pierre, Edward Drinker Cope and Othniel Charles Marsh would have been nonsensical without each other. Of course, unlike Butch or Madame Curie, Cope and Marsh hated each other. Hated hated hated each other. Like tiny little mustachio’d Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots. Cope and Marsh were both prominent archaeologists back in the mid-19th century, when the railroads were just beginning to truly open up the American west. Edward Drinker Cope was an archaeologist of the old school; a gentleman, in fact. He operated on the principles of polite society, and expected others to do the same. Conversely, Othniel Charles Marsh was closer to a businessman of the era. Marsh saw paleontology as a business to be exploited, and they way you did that in the 1800s was by setting up a trust -- what we’d call a monopoly today. You got control of a resource and you wrung it until all the money came out. As strange as it might seem, the two got along at first. They were both learned men of science, and although they came from different backgrounds, their interests were largely the same. Cope had found an excellent source of fossils in New Jersey, and when Marsh asked to see it, well, Cope the gentleman could hardly refuse. Unfortunately, Marsh was so taken by the fossils that he went around Cope’s back and paid the man who shipped the fossils to send them to Marsh’s office instead. Bitter words were exchanged, and the two began a rivalry that would last their entire lives. This period of archaeology is generally known as the Bone Wars, or the Great Dinosaur Rush. Despite the rather unpleasant personalities involved, it marks one of the greatest eras of prehistoric discovery, with the efforts of Cope and Marsh alone introducing almost 150 new species of ancient animals and providing spectacular evidence for the brand new theory of evolution. Although Cope and Marsh spent their declining years largely sniping at each others bank accounts and fossil collections, the end result of their intense hatred for each other was, strangely enough, positive. Since Cope and Marsh basically approached the same subject from radically different angles, it made sense to give them classes that did the same. Cope’s class is the Monster Hunter, also known as the Monster Tamer or Trainer, a job that specializes in trapping enemies. The use of this varies by game, but the most common one has the Hunter either training the monster for use in combat on the player’s side, or harvesting them for items. Conversely, Marsh’s class is the Blue Mage. Blue Mages are fairly straightforward magic-casting classes except for one major detail: all of their abilities have to be harvested from monsters in some way. In some games, this is done by collecting certain items, while other games require you to actually be damaged by specific skills in order to learn them. Either way, both classes rely almost entirely on monsters in some way for their effectiveness in combat, and although their methods vary, both can be exceptionally powerful with a large enough collection.