Hoidwithaspaceship - Spaceship Spaceship Spaceship

This reminds me of something i think i saw on the 17th shard, of a stormlight prologue being me stuck in a bathroom, trying to get out, for the entire prologue. At the end, I resort to Awakening, resulting in my exit, in front of guards, right after the assassination, dressed in white.

More Ways for Hoid to be Tortured

[Includes a spoiler for Tress!]

Hoid has sure had it rough lately. He’s had his memories siphoned off, gotten cursed, even spent some quality time as a coatrack. As @kingjasnah points out in this post, Sanderson is setting a precedent here: we’re all expecting ever new and more hilarious shit to happen to Hoid.

So here are some ideas for ways that Hoid might suffer in future Cosmere books.

1. Trapped in a dimension full of talking bananas…who don’t care about stories

Hoid: And that was the story of the banana who looked up.

Banana 1: [yawning]

Banana 2: Sorry, did you say something? I was thinking about radishes.

Banana 3: I feel so neutral about everything you said!

Hoid: …I may have found a place nearly as unpleasant as Komashi. 

Hoid: Nearly.

2. A new and ever weirder food craving every day.

Hoid: Well, it seems that today I can stomach nothing except mayonnaise-topped pickles.

Design: And you’re sure you’re not pregnant?

3. Trapped on a planet during a time of no plot relevance 

Design: Hey, will you look at that!

Design: According to the town newspaper, old lady Dennis FINALLY figured out who’s been eating her lettuce. 

Design: Get this–it was a rabbit!

Design: That’s something, right?

Hoid: W-Was it an invested rabbit?

Design: Nope! Just a normal one.

Hoid (sinking further into his turtleneck): I have GOT to get my Luck back.

4. Can only communicate via song…after losing his perfect pitch 

Hoid (singing): And thus you should learn, / that if I must, I will let this planet buuuuuuurn!

Design: Your pitch is off by a mere .0005%!

Hoid (singing): And it’s really not fair–this much is true, / that my perfect pitch, went straight to yooooou!

5. Turned into a rat

Rat-Hoid: The worst part is…it’s not even original.

6. De-Aged into a Child

Hoid: It’s not so bad, really.

Hoid: People perhaps don’t take me the most seriously, but then, I was the King’s Wit for a while so I’m used to that.

Hoid: …I do hear the word “precocious” a lot. 

7. De-Aged into a Baby

Hoid: (furiously signing with his fat baby hands) What is this, an isekai?!

Design: Hmmm…I should start a babysitting business. 

8. Unable to respond to anyone unless his response rhymes

Design: I love it, to be orange.

Design: If I ever need some peace and quiet, I just end every sentence with “orange.” 

Hoid: Once again I must ask you to act a bit less like a poison-filled sporange. 

Design: It’s fun to watch him incorporate that word into all of his sentences!

9. Grows to the size of a mountain

Hoid: It’s not (ouch) that I mind (ouch) the mountain-climbing business that Design (ouch) is running.

Hoid: But the constant (ouch) pick-axes driving into my shins (ouch) does get a tad…distracting.

Hoid: (ouch)

10. Handcuffed to Kelsier, ala Light & L

Kelsier: [eyes gleaming]

Kelsier: And this time you can’t escape me, Drifter!

Hoid: Hey, is that a spike in your eye, or are you just happy to see me?

Kelsier: …

Kelsier: T-That doesn’t even make any sense!

Hoid: …This might actually be fun.

It was made by those who were dead

01/07/3309 The Pleiades

The way is shut.

It is sad, yes. All things fade, even the greatest things. The sky itself, around us, here.

But it's wonderful to me that we have it now, we can see it now, and we can study how it came to be.

And considering our lifespans, if we ever visit across it, it'll probably still exist.

Laniakea - The Supercluster of Galaxies🌌

Or: the infodump I'm writing to prevent myself from feeling upset.

Earth is part of our solar system, that is part of our home galaxy called Miky Way, which is part of a 'local group' of galaxies, which itself is part of a bigger group of galaxies called the Virgo cluster.

But the Virgo cluster itself is just one of a large number of galaxy clusters, themselves collections of hundreds to thousands of large galaxies which have been mapped out in the nearby Universe: the Virgo cluster, with the Centaurus cluster, the Great Attractor, the Norma Cluster & many others!

Together, they make up a much larger structure & if you sum up every galaxy in it, it is fully anticipated that the total number should exceed 100,000.

This is the collection of matter that is called beautifully after the hawaiian word which means 'immense heaven'

✨️Laniakea✨️

But let's start with the beginning, shan't we?

The Big Bang happened roughly 13.8 billion years ago & in the early stage of all that matter, antimatter, radiation, fields, etcetera, there wasn't a uniform sea of these energetic quanta.

Instead, there were tiny imperfections ⁠- at about the 0.003% level, which is VERY VERY SMALL- on all scales, where some regions had slightly more or slightly less matter-and-energy than average.

In each one of these regions, a great cosmic race ensued. The race was between two competing phenomena:

The EXPANSION, which works to drive all the matter & energy apart

The GRAVITATION, which works to pull all forms of energy together & causes massive material to clump & cluster together

With both normal matter & dark matter populating our Universe - but not in sufficient quantities to cause the entire Universe to recollapse (IMPERFECTIONS saved us!) ⁠- the first star formations happened & then star clusters, with the first ones appearing less than 200 million years after the Big Bang.

Over the next few hundred million years, structure began to appear on even larger larger scales, with the first galaxies forming, star clusters merging together, & even galaxies growing to attract matter from the lower-density regions nearby.

As time went on & on, galaxies gravitated together to form the Universe’s first galaxy clusters. With up to thousands of Milky Way-sized galaxies in them, massive mergers form giant elliptical behemoths at the cores of these clusters!

On even larger spatial scales & even longer timescales, the cosmic web began to take shape, with filaments of dark matter tracing out a series of interconnecting lines.

Dark matter drives the gravitational growth of the Universe, while normal matter interacts through forces other than gravity as well, leading to the formation of gas clumps, new stars & even new galaxies on long enough timescales.

Meanwhile, the space between the filaments, the so-called underdense regions of the Universe, give up their matter to the surrounding structures, becoming great cosmic voids.

Galaxies dot these filaments & fall into the larger cosmic structures where multiple filaments intersect.

On long enough timescales, the most spectacular nexuses of matter even began attracting one another, causing galaxy groups & clusters to begin forming even larger structures:

💫Galactic Superclusters💫

For me, it's a beautiful & a very comforting idea that represents structures on scales larger than a visual inspection would reveal.

But there’s a problem with Laniakea in particular & with superclusters in general: these are not real, bound structures, but only apparent structures that are currently in the process of dissolving away entirely.

There isn't just this "race" between an initial expansion & the counteracting gravitational force caused by matter & radiation.

In addition, there’s also a positive form of energy: dark energy. It causes the recession of distant galaxies to speed up as time goes on & gets more relevant the bigger the scale gets from which you look at it.

If there were no dark energy, Laniakea would most certainly be real.

Over time, its galaxies and clusters would all mutually mutually attract, leading to an enormous grouping of 100,000+ galaxies!

Unfortunately, dark energy became the dominant factor in our Universe’s evolution approximately 6 billion years ago & the various components of the Laniakea supercluster are already accelerating away from one another.

Billions of years from now, Laniakea will be torn apart by the Universe’s expansion, forever adrift as lonesome islands in the great cosmic ocean.

A bit sad, huh?

Thanks for reading, have an... air hug? Or a cookie. Let's stay with the cookie. 🍪

Please have this WONDERFUL visual of Laniakea:

Found on Pinterest.

If you really read all that - Wow. I wouldn't have thought that.

You have my honest appreciation.

💜✨️💜

I think we're finally finding the issue here, which is that dnd has pulled from so many different forms of media and archetypes, and often from different ones that are entirely different in set up and power scaling and magic and such. To simplify, we pulled wizards from things like myths and fancy magic users and the fighter is basically "well its medieval, gotta have a plate wearing sword guy" . And unless you set up a world to accomdate that, to either figure out the neccesarily limitations on magic to have a fighter make sense as being somewhat practical, or expand the magic (non-real elements) to include martial prowess and toughness, the fighter and the wizard basically come from different realities.

Anyway this is why wotc should publish more individual setting books with actual different rules that don't actually work together across settings. Because if you want different themes to your game world, the way players understand that is through the mechanics, and therefore how you define the theme. And if they want to have some big way it all works, they need to stop holding onto these fragments of tradition that say random things about how the rules should be, from earlier editions, that no longer actually work in the setting and world they're trying to build, but are just holdovers.

I doubt that will ever happen. But it would be nice, if they said "these rules are how greyhawk works, this is how eberron works, this is how the forgotten realms works." But at that point the ideal would be to have a different rpg for each one. Which won't happen.

I suppose a compromize could be to establish a firm setting, admit that the rules are unique to that setting and probably shouldnt be one to one ported elsewhere, and then make conversion kits galore for any kind of theme and setting, rather than trying to shoehorn them all into the original setting.

oh but as an aside: in terms of giving classes stuff to do outside their central domain of expertise, you don't really need to look for esoteric stuff for fighters, they've got, like, "being scary", "being beefy", "being good at smashing or moving things", "being athletic", and that's fine? Like if those aren't coming out as useful in a dungeon crawl, or if spellcasters are matching them just on the basis of some handwavey "magic can do anything!" explanation, maybe that's the problem and not that fighters need broader domains of built-in competence. those seem like things that should be useful and character-defining outside of fights, don't they?

Yes, regrettably, that wasn't me. That was Tolkien, or a shadow of him. An idea. The idea being if he ended up on Scadrial, like me. Though without my spaceship

HOID.

HOID IS ON PAGE AS I AM WRITING THIS POST HE CAME BACK AS ANOTHER INFORMANT THIS TIME IN FADREX CITY

ok but when he first got on page i was excited because i read his description as having white hair, and i know that his Yolin appearance has white hair. then, i thought it wasn't actually him, because he was also described as old.

then hoid mentioned spren and i knew it was him.

also skaa died really young pre-Collapse so his appearance might seem old to vin.

or he just Lightweaved himself to look older.

EDIT: IT WAS NOT HIM

i was talking about a character named Slowswift who i thought was Hoid, but Hoid himself is mentioned by name a page after but doesn't have screentime (at least in the part i'm at)