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This is doing numbers on the stupid letter app

Shizun Binghe would be so freaking mad that Shang Qinghua is friends with Shen Yuan.

Okay see the most dangerous think about Shang qinghua being shen yuans friend is that binghe doesn't understand the appeal. With mu qingfang he's always worried mqf will abuse his authority as a doctor to feel up shen yuans body, or he sees shen yuan praising Liu qingges fighting skills and nearly goes crazy.

But Shang qinghua is the only person shen yuan will be outwardly rude with. They share secret letters. They're from the same hometown, and sometimes talk in its unintelligible dialect. They say they've known each other for years. The way they're so obviously close but don't feign politeness makes binghe SO envious. That should be HIM and shen yuan bickering like an old married couple. He hates it.

Binghe: Shang qinghua is one of your spies isn't he

Mobei jun: yes

Binghe: interrogate him. Torture him if you must. We need to find out what "memes" are and why they make shen yuan laugh so easily-

Mobei: they're jokes

Binghe: YOU ALREADY KNOW!?

They're all ambushed on a night hunt and the bandit leader says he'll allow binghe to surrender. Binghe looks dead at shen yuan and says "nah I'd win." Shen yuan is choking screaming . It's so corny. He's so bad at this. The protagonist is like an old person trying to be relatable to the youth. Its terrible. It's amazing.

airplane as a cosmic force in the pidw universe except in a spinozic sense where he is one and the same with every being and thing without any real conscious control on airplane’s part. and this explains why everyone loves shen yuan so much. in their original world shen yuan was the one person that wanted more for airplane and airplane fell deeply in love with him, this witty insane caring person that stayed with him from pidw’s conception, and that love is imbued into the world. the people of pidw can’t help but be drawn to shen yuan. love for shen yuan is literally part of their essence. even the storms and the sun are gentler for shen yuan. not that shen yuan notices the affection he so naturally engenders or the little pocket of temperateness that follows him where ever he goes. and not that airplane himself is even consciously aware that that is what's happening either. just a thought to entertain x

Angry SJ ignoring YQY for the rest of eternity because he didn't rescue him from the Qiu manor is overdone.

Hear me out- JUST LISTEN

Instead of funneling all that evil energy into beating children, SJ focuses it entirely on YQY. All his schemes and machinations focused entirely on isolating and owning YQY. No one else gets to touch his Qi-ge. No one else gets to look at him. They were bound by fate, whether YQY liked it or not.

Idk I just love the thought of yandere SJ and YQY just ":)" along for the ride

This post has been brought to you by Rule #34 ft. Fish in a bird cage

Edit: yall really watched me spell schemes wrong and straight up didn't tell me... woooooooooow

[Beauty and the beast bingqiu]

LBH, human: "Shizun! We've broken the curse! No longer will you have to suffer the indignity of loving a beast!"

SQQ, a monsterfucker: [gross sobbing]

We all know Binghe HATED shen qingqiu associating with tianlang jun and zhuzhi Lang but I don't think you guys understand just how confusing that must have been for him like. Okay just leaving aside the whole "btw this is your father and cousin" thing for a moment, this is how things went from Binghe’s pov

Shen yuan after meng mo arc: actually I don't hate all demons

Binghe: 😃!!

Shen Yuan at the conference: I don't hate all demons BUT you're a heavenly demon and that's the type that cannot be forgiven

Binghe: 😟

Shen Yuan at the holy mausoleum: I'll go with tlj and zzl, the heavenly demons

Binghe: 😐

Like no fucking wonder he was going crazy that would have been my villain origin story too

Some of you need to realize that no matter how bad your past is, child abuse is never okay. Shen Jiu ABUSED luo binghe, a small helpless child who had nowhere else to go. I sympathise with Shen Jiu , I really do. But while he's a victim as well, he's also an adult in the position of power who made the conscious decision to abuse a helpless child under his care.

Okay guys I have an extremely important post to make.

Firstly, Shen Yuan in his old life. I firmly believe Shen Yuan was 5'6 and here's why.

Average men's height (both worldwide and Chinese) is 5'7. Shen Yuan would not care that he's one inch shorter than average bc that's too small to care about.

Now imagine an au where he does not transmigrate into shen jiu, and the system half-assedly just makes a model using his old body. BUT this is a fantasy setting where all men are absurdly tall and all women look like models.

Speaking of models, most professional models are very tall:

So here's Shen Yuan, a man who has never cared about masculinity that much before, all of a sudden surrounded by:

Luo Binghe (6'2)

Yue Qingyuan (6'2)

Liu Qingge (6'1)

Shen Jiu (6'0)

AIRPLANE (5'9)

Many of Binghe’s love interests (5'9)

And then him.... (5'6)

All of a sudden "one inch less than average" is very embarrassing for him (and very adorable to everyone in love with him)

omgggggg, your role reversal au is so good… Shizun Binghe thinks he’s making Shen Yuan his little wife but lbh cleans the bamboo house, gently rouses sy in morning for a breakfast he lovingly prepared, and whines when sy leaves to attend to his head disciple duties. and the entire time lbh and like “haha! my evil plan of wife-ing A-Yuan is working” and sy is smiling to himself like “I wonder what shizun is going to make for dinner :)”

Brooo he'd be such a "crazy housewife" stereotype...

Shen Yuan: I'll be back in a few days, there's a demon terrorizing villagers-

Binghe with tears: oh another one of your "business trips" huh. I bet Liu qingge is going with you too, isn't he!?

Shen Yuan: shizun there are people that are having their skin stolen.

commission for @shouta-aizawow for the @bingyuanserver :)) realllyyy enjoyed this concept!!!

truth serum / system reveal au where shen qingqiu gets hit with an uncloaking spell that reveals the system in the reflection of his eyes every time it pops up.

during one of his missions, in the treasure hoard of some dragon-like creature, he finds a golden, oval shaped hand mirror, its gaudy style more victorian based than anything (airplane you hack!), that doesn't seem to do anything when he looks into it. but when he does, it reveals the system's screen in his eyes.

he doesn't notice this, of course, because he can't see it, and the system, surprisingly, stays quiet.

the peak lords think he's cursed.

maybe mu qingfang is the first to notice, during the mandatory post mission check-up, when shen qingqiu is scrolling through his most recently accumulated points and mu qingfang can see the strange vividly-blue lines reflected in his pupils. it's gone when shen qingqiu blinks, like it was nothing but a trick of the light.

it comes out when yue qingyuan is visiting and, just as he's done laying out the plans for a new mission, shen qingqiu's eyes glaze over and a bright blue box takes over the whole of his iris. shen qingqiu goes quiet; the thing in his eyes moves, shifts, pulses for a second, like static worms crawling all over his pupils. then he blinks, and it's gone, and shen qingqiu accepts the mission that yue qingyuan was almost sure he would decline.

maybe there is an intervention, when the peak lords corner shen qingqiu at qian cao peak and try to figure out what's wrong, subjecting him to all kinds of treatments and curse-finding spells that turn up empty, they can't find anything.

of course, the silencing threat is still very much up and running. at first shen qingqiu was kind of confused by the whole ordeal, but when the peak lords start describing a "strange blue box", he realizes, with sickening suddenty, that they're describing the system. and he can't say anything.

this only makes everything worse, because their fellow peak lord now keeps evading every question and acts like he doesn't understand. liu qingge points right at his face and asks, "that blue box, what is it?" and shen qingqiu laughs nervously and starts talking about how bright the weather is and surely it's the sky and nothing to worry about!

even worse, during the intervention the system thought it was a good idea to start talking to him, so now even the peak lords who hadn't seen it and who might have been persuaded by light tricks and reflections, get a first row view that no, that definitely isn't a trick of the light.

they try to do the whole thing of "are you in danger, blink twice" but shen qingqiu can't even do that because it's still a direct admittance!

maybe eventually he starts saying vague confirmations that don't actually confirm anything, like "this master hears what you're saying", or maybe he goes with a classic "this master can neither confirm nor deny that." but the system starts warning him for that too and eventually he stops saying anything, which worries the others more.

luckily mu qingfang catches on that every time they ask a direct question about the box or shen qingqiu says anything vaguely confirming, it appears. it doesn't appear when they ask about curses or demons, so it must not see that as a threat.

for a little extra angst: maybe the peak lords keep pressuring him for answers, and at some point shen qingqiu gets fed up and snaps out something like, "why don't you understand that i'm not allowed to answer that!" the system counts this as a direct admittance, threatening it's existence. so it punishes. shen qingqiu has a qi deviation so bad it lasts two weeks and takes two people every day to cleanse his meridians. the system doesn't appear in that time. it doesn't appear for a long while after that, either. the peak lords stop asking, mainly because shen qingqiu will instantly leave the room if they do. they don't stop searching for a cure, though.

shang qinghua returns from a business trip and catches on the second someone mentions a blue box and forced silencing.

scumcum from twitter :))

Au where Shen Yuan is a dragon with a giant cavern full of books and plays. It's enchanted and stuff so the cavern moves and shifts so it brings you to a section of the library with what you need/want. He occasionally lets people enter to read his books, but you aren't allowed to take them out no matter what. You are sometimes allowed to copy the information on your own scroll or book, but you need permission first.

He gets visited by Wu Yanzi and a young Shen Jiu. Wu Yanzi is looking for demonic cultivation manuals because Shen Yuan has almost one of each manual, encyclopedia, etc ever written.

He pays no mind since he doesn't really care if malicious people come in or not. He does passively keep an ear out just in case.

Wu Yanzi finds a cultivation manual that has everything he needed and could be sold for a lot of money since it was extremely rare and in pristine condition. He tries to sneak it into his bag, and the dragon just eats him. No warning. No heads up. No trumpets or fanfare. No foreboding messages to return the book. Just chomp.

Shen Jiu is taken aback because did his teacher just get eaten? JUST LIKE THAT?!

The dragon nudges the stolen book back into the shelf and looks at Shen Jiu. Shen Jiu is convinced he's going to die there. Except he doesn't get eaten or harmed. He gets gingerly picked up by the back of his robes and taken to the spiritual cultivation section of the library.

Shen Jiu gets plopped onto the floor and the dragon nudges a few beginner and cleansing cultivation manual to fall from the shelf for him and then promptly crawls back to its den.

Shen Jiu, who is instilled with the undescribable urge to scream "what the FUCK?!", instead sits down and starts reading and practicing because honest to god are you going to disobey a dragon that absolutely towers over you?

So when he's satisfied with his cultivation progress, he finally gets ready to leave. The dragon comes back only to put the books away from the shelves that were too far up for Shen Jiu to reach.

Shen Jiu thanks the dragon, which only gets him a huff in response, and because he hates to be in someone's debt (even if that someone is a dragon hundred of years his senior) he says he'll return with books to fill more shelves. He leaves soon after.

He manages to get the Qing Jing Peak Lord's attention during the Immortal Alliance Conference, which was his intention. He gets in a little late but his cultivation is practically caught up. He easily ranks up to head disciple.

During his time in Cang Qiong Shen Jiu jots down everything he learns. He writes down music he composes, discoveries he makes, talisman and array designs he creates, even poems he has written. His Shizun insists that he adds them to the Qing Jing library, and he does but he leaves polished copies of his work and excludes the very important parts.

Eventually when he's peak lord, he goes on an expedition by himself with the scrolls and books he's filled through the years. He finds the dragon's cavern and finally meets it after so long. He presents his life's work to the dragon, practically bearing his heart to it.

The dragon looks at him curiously and transforms into a human form. Shen Jiu watches as the dragon takes the bag from his hands and pulls out the first book, which had all the songs he made for the jiejies in the Warm Red Pavilion to preform.

The dragon say down and invited Shen Jiu to join him. He does and the dragon continues to go through everything while asking him questions about something he wrote or created. Sometimes they get off task and start talking about something else and both appreciate being able to talk to someone that understands classics or is good at debating.

By the time Shen Yuan finally finishes with everything Shen Jiu gave him, they have surprisingly clicked very well. Shen Yuan tells him he's going to make a section in his library for all his works, so he can bring more if he wished because Shen Yuan thought he was a genius that was just starting to shine.

Shen Jiu agrees to continue giving Shen Yuan his work if only to have an excuse to return. And that's how it became tradition that every once in a while the Qing Jing Peak Lord will go off the mountain with a stack of books for days on end and return to none of them.

Sometimes he would even have a strange man come to his peak. If the man visited, that meant Shen Qingqiu was going to be in a good mood, so obviously the kids always told him to stay or come back soon.

And also just as obviously, this is incredibly suspicious to the other peak lords. Cue Liu Qingge and Qi Qingqi pestering Shen Qingqiu and demanding to know what is the meaning of this. Also cue Shen Yuan misunderstanding and getting jealous and then realizing he has feelings for Shen Jiu (after a solid month(s) of denial).

So the next course of action is to keep Shen Jiu from Liu Qingge and Qi Qingqi because they're threats to Shen Yuan's time alone with Shen Jiu. Also he doesn't trust how Shen Jiu covers his face with his fan when they talk to him. Shen Jiu also covers his face when they both talk, so obviously that must mean something and he doesn't like it.

Isn't dragon jealousy great?

Eventually the peak lords find out about Shen Yuan and it was definitely a whole ordeal. Shen Yuan maybe threatened to burn Cang Qiong to the ground at some point, but the threat didn't go through so did it really happen?

Shen Jiu definitely knows about Shen Yuan's feelings for him and is absolutely fucking smug about it. Like who wouldn't want a highly intelligent dragon with a library that is any scholar's wet dream that INSTANTLY becomes a begging puppy when he wants your attention.

As far as Shen Jiu is concerned, he's winning at life.

Okay so I was thinking about yandere jiuyuan (as you do) and I was thinking about my yandere streamer au. And come forth with a ramble.

An au where Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu are people from the modern world and get transmigrated into PIDW. The catch is that both of them are streamers and both have read PIDW. SY and SJ are critics.

And a lot of their fans have told them to collab since they have a shared hatred for PIDW, the fun part is that SY and SJ are fans of each other. Like really parasocial, borderline worrying type stuff.

Anyway, both of them get attached to characters that remind them of their favorite streamer. SJ picks a demon lord NPC that becomes one of LBH's generals, he shows up frequently enough. And SY chooses the scum villain himself :)

Anyway they get a collab set up (both totally normal about it) and while going to meet, shit happens and they get transmigrated (because I think it's funny). SJ gets thrown into SQQ. And SY gets thrown into the demon lord NPC.

One thing leads to another and they meet each other. It's their favorite characters so they try to get closer to the other. Eventually they find out that the other is their favorite streamer and then it's them trying to hide the fact they're not normal about each other.

And like eventually one of them finds a shrine the other made from them, and gets excited and matches the freak level shown.

As they continue to be together, they increasingly show their freak and match it each time until it's just worrying for everyone else.

Honestly, the demon race and cultivators just side eye them.

I simply can't stop imagining what Shen Yuan must look like in Shen Jiu's eyes. There's no way that man won't be obsessed with him.

...

Shen Jiu hadn't expected to come across the rogue cultivator here, in an inn in the middle of nowhere, while on his way to a meeting set up between the four cultivation sects.

He had not expected to walk in, tired and annoyed from sharing the road with his martial siblings and a headache quickly forming. To be met with the tinkling sound of his laugh, filling the space with warmth and comfort. To see him sitting there, surrounded by villagers and travellers alike.

Shen Yuan was like a bright flame, attracting all those colorless and mundane moths to himself. Even his most complex topics of beasts and fauna gathering a mass simply because of how animatedly and passionately he spoke.

It would bothered Shen Jiu more, if it wasn't for how Shen Yuan seemed to look through every one of them, like they didn't exist.

No, he never treated them badly, and in fact conversed with them the same bright way he did with everything else, if they were able to catch his attention. And if they ever were to meet again later, he'd certainly be able to remember them.

But that didn't stop the way he looked through them, like they were simply leaves in the wind at the edge of his awareness. Like they didn't matter in the grander scheme of things.

It had vexed Shen Jiu immensely at the beginning, to be treated the same. Just like any other person, unimportant in Shen Yuan's life. But slowly as they had gotten to know each other, he had seemed to become more aware of him.

Then Shen Yuan had finally decided to visit Qing Jing Peak, finally met him as Shen Qingqiu as well, and not just Shen Jiu. He had seen him then.

It had been exhilarating to be looked at by Shen Yuan. Like he was a mountain on Shen Yuan's path, impossible to ignore, no longer a mere leaf blowing by.

And it was still just as exhilarating now, to see Shen Yuan look up from his group of admirers. For their eyes to meet, for Shen Yuan to smile at him. And for Shen Yuan to see him.

Submitted for classification by @raivaryn

"What the heck is this ???"

Modern Shen Twins AU

SJ teaches literature and reading at a 'prepare for university' level. He's evil, always gets tons of complaints, but the school can't argue with the results. (And systemic child abuse, tiger parents,etc, etc)

Well, his totally platonic 'roommate' Yue Qi gets in a bad car accident and SJ has to be a full time carer, but the school won't give him time off, so he calls in didi to cover for him at work.

(SY's main job is freelance consulting and he's gotten a lot of lucky big jobs so he's okay on money and can sub for a while)

Anyway, the school staff are fooled bc SY has listened to ge complain about them enough to aim enough spite and snark their way, but the students think they're having a stroke

Teacher Shen is suddenly treating them like his own precious puppies (though his marking standards and expectations are the same)

LBH is cooked in two days.

Day one, he thinks it's a trap.

Day two he gets a head pat and it's all over.

SV AU where LBH starts hyperfixating on studying divination so he can map out a calendar of auspicious days to marry SQQ

Once he thinks he has the technique down, he has to find SQQ's 8 characters, but even at 17 he's not quite confident enough to think he can either schmooze or break in to QD's file room, but he does think he can get into An Ding's back up storage.

He finds evidence of MBJ/SQH, but he doesn't have time for that besides feeling relief at another peak lord/demon lord couple. He has a wedding to plan.

While he didn't learn SJ was a slave, he realizes the file is incomplete because SQQ either doesn't know or deliberately hid it. Shizun is perfect so obviously he wouldn't hide something like that

Back to his divination studies.

He eventually gets a set of 8 characters he's satisfied with, but they can't be right. They put SQQ as only a few years older than him and that can't be right.

More divination studies. SQQ is getting worried LBH isn't taking the IAC seriously and thus will struggle in the Abyss. LBH just hides his divination studies and doubles up his work load. This is fine, he couldn't get more from the divination peak without people asking too many questions anyway

So while he's on a night hunt, he hurries through the mission and takes the extra time to consult with Madam Meiyin.

She, knowing he is instrumental to the fate of the world, though not the details, gives him some pointers and a few scrolls.

Once he's had time to go over everything and try the new techniques, he has a break through:

His shizun is not Shen Jiu.

Not Chronically Ill in first life SY enter's SQQ's body, who does have severe chronic illness as a result of his childhood and adolescence. SY is basically in constant musculoskeletal pain AND it feels like lava and or ice water to push qi through his meridians sometimes.

And he's stuck with the OOC lock like that. He goes to MQF before going to the Lingxi caves because he's honestly concerned this body is gonna have another fatal qi deviation if he does secluded cultivation in a place like that.

So after some therapy, MQF goes with him to find a spot to cultivate and therefore is there when LQG starts deviating.

All of this to say, he's in slightly better shape come the demon invasion and LQG is much better and quicker on the draw, so SY is saved w/o a cure, but he's still got everything else.

These horrible problems cause SY to push and bully the system to give him missions so he can learn SJ's actual backstory. Once he does, he understands and wants to redeem the scum villain bc he wants to see the best in everyone.

He finds a plot device flower to create a clone of himself (the wife who used it had taken in her sister's soul as teenagers and they were doing a timeshare on the body - a villain had used it to duplicate himself to try to overpower LBH)

He manages to find it before the IAC. SJ is not happy that some dumbass took over his body, but is somewhat mollified to have a much healthier body. He's less happy for the imposter, who is already on thin fucking ice, to read him the riot act about being aggro at YQY, he can't help that he was trapped i nthe Lingxi caves healing all of his broken bones

HE WAS WHAT

Uh oh, SY didn't know SJ didn't know that.

SY tries to run for it, but oh no, SJ is going to take full advantage of having an identical twin to deal with people and things he doesn't want. Imposter wanted his life? He can have it :)

LBH is ousted from the bamboo house, but SY still dotes on him.

YQY is very confused, but since SJ is a) back and b) talking to him, sure, yes, fine, Xiao Yuan has been here the whole time, he totally knew.

(They gaslight the other peak lords)

Idk I just really want SY overwhelmed with guilt for taking SJ's life and going through hell to bring him back ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Maybe a no-system AU where SY has a full melt down on day one right all over YQY because *he didn't want this*. He didn't want to kill someone else just so he could have a second life.

MQF world be called in and suspect SJ just has a mental break or something, since that's far more likely than this soul usurpation, but YQY overrules him bc there's no way this is SJ no matter how addled

Bonus points if airplane DOES have a system and is sweating bullets throughout all of this.

Maybe LQG gets sent with SY to find whatever plot device while YQY keeps up appearances and LQG falls for this wet dog of a man who just bleeds self sacrifice.

Eventually they get back to the sect and SY is waiting while they prepare a ritual or whatever and goes "oh shit, wait, the protagonist???" And is like "hello, you're my child now. Liu-gege, help me raise my child"

SJ comes back, pissed, SY is a spiritual creature of some sort (Empty Blossom of Moonlit Purity? Withers instantly on contact with demonic qi). SJ is talked down from vengeance since SY did immediately try (and did manage) to save him.

SY just takes LBH with him to go live on BZ.

SJ and YQY have a knock down drag out fight about how dare YQY save his life this time. How stupid is he to bring back a critical weakness? SJ ends up injuring YQY pretty seriously (since he's not even trying to defend himself) and YQY confesses that SJ is with more than his own life and always has been.

(SJ now has no idea why Qige never saved him, still doesn't know about Xuansu, but there is some reconciliation)

(meanwhile poor Binghe is like "withers on contact? 🥺")

(if SY consumes the Sunlit Flower of Balance he loses that weakness, which he does, but then forgets to mention. So he goes traveling to observe demonic beasts and gives everyone stress ulcers)

Qijiu AU

Pre-canon, HHPM decides YQY is too popular, too powerful and CQM is doing too well under the Qing generation. He feels threatened, so he starts conspiring to take out YQY and frame SQQ(J) for it.

After all, the animosity between the two is obvious and SJ is little more than a power-hungry dog dressing as a tiger.

However, HHPM's plan hinges on SQQ trying to take advantage of YQY's disappearance, or at least doing nothing.

HHPM's not expecting the full wrath of SQQ to descend the mountain like a hurricane bc yqy missed his monthly 'beg for forgiveness' tea that SQQ planned to once again snub him and refuse.

It results in a Xuan Su reveal and SQQ covered in blood while he breaks HHPM's neck with his bare hands

YQY is shocked into silence.

SQQ mutters to himself about how "Qi-ge is so stupid" and YQY cries in happiness

Oh shit oh fuck

Okay okay so obviously SY transmigrates as SJ's brother, but imagine IMAGINE that SY transmigrates as SJ's sister who wasn't abandoned or sold off.

They look similar enough to be twins and could pass off as each other with just some clothes and makeup. There is NO QUESTION they are related (though both will deny it with identical mannerisms)

SY goes to HHP because he (she? He's not sure he should be so comfortable being called by she/her but this is his body now so maybe it makes sense?) isn't going to miss out on cultivating but he's definitely also not going to get killed with the rest of CQM.

He and Su-dashijie meet Yue Qi at the IAC and YQ is very strange and awkward and looks ill which is NOT how the rumors painted him, but well, SY supposes, CQM would put out rumors that their head disciple is great so whatever.

When YQ runs into SJ every single truth spills from his mouth because he's just relieved SJ didn't get forcefemed and amnesia'd

SJ is furious at Qi-ge of course a little fire couldn't kill him and what the actual FUCK is he taking about

I gotta make my own food around here. No one helps in this kitchen

SY transmigrates early, system beta test or something, does the wandering cultivator thing for a few decades, realizes the strays he picked up have formed a sect and he's the leader and no he doesn't get a choice in the matter

In terms of most powerful cultivators, SY is #10 in the cultivation world, but his sect is seen very poorly because, well, it's made up of strays and he encourages any noble kids to go to HHP because he needs to save his resources for kids who need him

Yue Qi and Shen Jiu get picked up by one of SY's staples and brought in. Their potential is insane and after a little training and researching current events he's pretty sure this "Yue" and "Shen" belong in CQM.

But it's already been 3 years. The boys aren't interested in sex yet, but they have been mommy-wife beamed thoroughly and fight him when he tells them he's made special arrangements with the CQM sect leader to accept them

He pulls the whole "Don't you want to be strong?" Schtick and they are not happy, but they are children and easily carried by a cultivator of his caliber

Shen Jiu swears revenge and SY breathes a sigh of relief that things are finally back on track.

But he misses them and tries to lose himself in traveling and oh no, this poor demonic snake is injured! (Fully juiced up by TLJ zzl just took snake form to lick his wounds more safely bc he's in the human realm) Zzl is fully prepared to transform and eat SY whole, but instead sy is very very gentle, asks permission before touching and coaxes the injured Zzl to last in the warm inside of his arm within his sleeve.

Sadly, Zzl has duties to his lord once he's healed, but he'll be back for this cultivator. Blah blah, plot happens, SY scoops up baby bingy (and the washer woman) and plants them in his sect, intending to send LBH off to CQM at the appropriate time.

He realizes his interference might have made SJ less of an asshole in general, but he DID swear revenge so maybe that's the angle the abuse will take.

Joke's on him, the first thing YQY does when the Qing generation steps up is strong arm SY into an alliance marriage. Shen Jiu becomes first wife.

(YQY isn't legally married for political reasons, but as SJ explains while dragging him into the marital bed, they are a set)

Zzl actively seeks SY out for help with TLJ and while SY can't do anything about that, he fishes up a plot amulet that gives Zzl free shapeshifting.

Zzl insists marriage is the only way to repay SY (tlj's advice) and eventually SY caves.

Wife count: 3

LQG has never met SY but heard rumors about him being a celestial fairy or wherever, so he's concerned SJ is treating him poorly and follows SJ to his marital sect. He catches SY on the way out to hunt some great beast

Wife count: 4

Rally dumb idea for a role reversal au wife plot gone wrong:

Shizun binghe and disciple shen yuan go to a town to investigate rumours about an evil spirit, but the town only allows married couples inside

Shen Yuan is super embarrassed but he knows how these situations go, and his shizun loves embarrassing him, so he sighs and says alright I'll dress up as a woman..

But binghe says no, wait. And imagines shen yuan in pretty women's clothing attracting the eyes of every man around... and decides he'll be the woman

Shen Yuan, thin and 5'6: hello I'm shen yuan and this *gestures to Binghe, muscled and 6'2* is my wife

The town guard: you guys didn't even make an effort.