Unfair

Unfair

There is a sharp edge between healing patients when it comes to mental health and physical health. If you're recovering from a physical illness people will go easy on you, try to comfort you, even when it comes to strangers they will see you, understand your pain and they will try to be there for you. Only because they can see your scars. If you are recovering from a mental illness almost no one will understand you or be there for you. They will question you, doubt and blame you because it's your fault for thinking that way, why didn't you try to talk to someone? Why didn't you give yourself time? Why don't you just stop thinking that way? They will only ask questions and even call you names because it's not true Sometimes even the people closest to you will judge you and ask god what did they do wrong to have a "abnormal child" Because your scars are not on the surface

It is coming from someone who lived both of those hells. I stayed in a hospital for three months. When my peers were going to school, I was in bed talking to nurses or walking down the lifeless hallways. When I started school again I never once felt left out.

But when it was my mental health no one bat an eye, including my most loved ones, no one cared.

Is it fair? No, but no one cares.

Whenever I’m writing I feel everything at once, because it may be just some words to anyone but to me they are my legacy which will live longer than any generation to come.

Yalnızlık

Çok yalnızım, mutsuzum

Göründüğüm gibi değilim aslında

Karanlıklarda kaybolmuşum

Bir ışık arıyorum, bir umut arıyorum uzun zamandır

Aradıkça batıyorum karanlık kuyulara

Kimse duymuyor çığlıklarımı

Duyan aldırış etmiyor çekip kurtarmak istemiyor

Bense insanların bu ilgisizliği karşısında ilgiye susamışım

Ümidimi yitirmişim

Biliyorum bir gün dayanamayacak küçük kalbim

Arkamı dönüp inandığım ve güvendiğim her şeye

Veda edeceğim.

"My soul bleeds... and the blood steadily, silently, disturbingly slowly, swallow me whole."

-Fyodor Dostoevsky, Complete Letters

What if I love my prison?

jk i love sylvia