Scawamosh

Scawamosh 🥺😭💜

Title: His Name

Character(s): Scaramouche (Genshin Impact)

Warnings/tags: Haunted doll au: Fem!reader, drabble, dark themes, sensitive themes, obsession themes, tw horror, violence, there is no romance in this au

Note: Since Scaramouche drip market has been released~ here you go~!

Haunted doll au masterlist

"Don't touch me!" His shriek was painful to your ears, echoing. His face was cracked, so close to breaking and his eyes were hostile toward a small child that stared at him in both fear and worry.

That was all you remember from your dream when everything went black as something or someone held you so tightly. Your shoulder wet from tears all gone the moment you woke up that morning.

Scaramouche technically had one owner your grandfather recalled. A young man kind and artistic had grown interested in the doll on the shelf and bought him at a high price. Your grandfather had thought that this particular doll had found a true home but much like many dolls some return back to him. This was no different... except he came back a little cracked and a little broken.

Your grandfather wanted to fix the doll but it was difficult when he started to have horrible migraines when he was anywhere near the doll so in the end he placed it in storage and left. He thought that he could just come back and fix the porcelain doll when it calmed down and feels better again.

Who would have thought that it would disappear the next day as if it was hiding from him?

Your grandfather looked at the doll on the table as your mother started cleaning your face from the dust you collected on your face and clothes. 

You went back there again it seems.

Your grandfather had noticed that you would sometimes disappear to the second storage room he rarely goes in unlike the first. The first time you went there you found a doll you nicknamed Childe. The next time you went there you found a doll he named La Signora long ago.

He went back there again hoping to find dolls that disappeared from his sight. Yet it seems they still wish to stay hidden from his eyes for all he found were empty boxes filled to the brim with dead shells of what was once supposed to be beautiful.

All he saw was a wall of black.

Yet it seems they have become rather curious about you. Seeing that you would come back always with another doll in your hands. They were curious about some more obsessed than others but they all follow the same path.

You were not looking, when your grandfather reached for the doll only to stop when he felt a sting on his finger. Pulling his hand away he watched as a drop of liquid fell to the floor leaving red.

So much resentment was already built up it seems. Any closer and he was sure that it would be his neck next.

"Grandpa?" A small innocent voice called out to him. Your grandfather's tired eyes looked at you who was staring at his hand.

"Hmmm? What is the matter?"

"There is red liquid on your hand. The same color as that time I tripped on my knees at the playground." You stated, walking closer to him.

"I see.. that must have hurt." Your grandfather's voice was solemn without a hint of worry but you didn't realize it as you continued to stare at the blood on his finger. Looking at your grandfather in his eyes you grinned "It hurt a lot!"

"It must hurt for you too." Your focus was back on his hand again, looking at his cut finger he wondered what to say but instead looked at the doll.

"So where did you find that doll?"

"Hmmm?" You looked at the doll that was on top of the table staring at you two. Watching you hop towards it your grandfather wondered what will happen. Grasping the doll placing it in your arms almost babying it.  "I don't know... I don't remember." Your face squinted as if you were thinking hard about where you found this doll but your mind was blank.

"He is a very pretty doll."

"Yes... he is very beautiful."

"Do you know his name?" Your grandfather asked, this answer you must know when your face brightens. 

"His name is Scawamosh!"

Why is this so cuteee

Two Pies in Love ✧ SMAU ✧ Riddle Rosehearts

Notes: I made another practice SMAU, this time with my guinea pig as Riddle! The prompt is based on genuinely stupid thoughts I had at work one day. Enjoy ♡

So wholesome and fluffy 🥺❤❤❤

When your on your period

Dorm leaders; Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, Malleus

Female reader !

Warnings; mentions of blood, cramps and period stuff under the cut

Headcanons

Notes; a post no one saw coming hshshs. Im not dead :] wrote this before my break, not caught up with story or lore

-

Riddle Rosehearts

Among all the dorm leaders, Riddle is among the best and dependable when it comes to taking care of his girlfriend during shark week.

He even marks it down on his calendar so he can prepare in advance beforehand :'D

In the beginning he will be inexperienced, confused but determined to help you in any way possible.

The only female figure in his life was his mother who rarely touched upon the topic of periods. But after the first and second times, he becomes really reliable

He has a lot of patience and handles your mood swings fairly well. Though there are times you may catch a glimpse of surprise in his eyes, your mood switches unexpectedly.

Where did all these emotions come from? He can only imagine

Speaking of which, Riddle has come prepared for any and all moods you may be feeling.

Upset? He has some sweets and herbal tea ready for you.

Sad? No matter, he's coming back with some fluffy blankets and promises of snuggles.

Angry? He's taking out the emergency snack box he's got store

Riddle also has tea suited for any pains you may experience! Ginger tea for any cramps, honey lemon tea if you're feeling particularly nauseous, and some lavender tea for headaches.

He has some meds if that's what you prefer though !

He even asks Trey to prepare more sweets than usual, all in hopes to distract you from the pain.

Anyone who touches your tarts are dead

He gets Heartslabyul, mainly Ace and Deuce to tone down their mischievous antics, preventing any other distractions or bothers that may hinder your day.

He's a bit bashful when it comes to buying pads. He'll still do it but avoids eye contact with the nearby people while dawning little blush on his cheeks. He even stocks up on some heating pads if that helps with his girlfriend's pain.

" My rose, is it that time of month? No need to worry, I'll ask Trey to prepare some tarts; would you like it with less sugar or more?"

-

Leona Kingscholar

Not the best, oofles

Leona, when it comes to taking care of his girlfriend while she's on her period, can be a bit of an ass. Added on that his understanding of such can be limited

But that's not to say he's entirely oblivious, he understands the key aspects to it.

He still makes an effort though, you're his girlfriend after all and seeing you twist and turn in pain only causes him to be in a foul mood.

Makes the argument that you wake him up but that's not entirely the truth

He thought that some teasing may help lighten the mood. But that very much did nothing to mend the situation. If anything his behavior may make you more annoyed at first.

For the most part he leaves you alone unless you explicitly state you want him to be with you and vice versa.

His worst fear? His usually calm(?) gf snapping at him cause you run out of sugar packets

He can't really keep up with your mood swings, if anything the sudden shift in behavior only makes him annoyed as he struggles to understand what you want. Dw he gets better with each month but man doesn't know what you wa n t.

He makes the effort to tone down any teasing and blunt nature(though as nature does it can slip out without warning).

Whatever you need he's spending Ruggie to get it while he keeps you company. This includes pads, need any? Ruggie will get it for you, poor guy

Though Leona isn't opposed to getting you pads and other things himself if ruggie can't do so.

When it comes to sleeping, he resorts to resting on your stomach hoping that his added body heat combined with a heating pad will help soothe you

Prepares some warm foods he thinks would help comfort his girlfriend such as soups and nutritious meats, all cooked to your liking.

He makes sure you eat it too and not skip on any meals. Imagine him over your shoulder tapping his foot impatiently as he nudges the spoon to your lips

keeps a close eye on your body language, picking up any discomfort you may be displaying and when he notices these signs, he is quick to send Ruggie off to pick up medication or heating pad depending on the situation

" I prepared you some soup, I believe it will help with the cramps. Now eat up, I'm not leaving till you're alright."

-

Azul Ashengrotto

Panics, a lot

His girlfriend will have to explain what periods are

Probably thought you were dying with all the blood leaving your body. And when he found out that was something you had to deal with early in the month? in disbelief and yet still curious about human anatomy

Having to endure terrible pains for extended time? 'Your very strong my dear'

On one hand Azul is dependable; however, he has moments where he is unsure of what to do since periods don't really occur within the Coral Sea(at least that's my hc).

But he very quickly masters what he should do when that time of month draws near

He notes that you should drink plenty of water with some pain killers if need be. He has a glass set beside your bed and that will never be empty, he will be constantly refilling it as needed.

Can't handle your mood swings. He's a patient person but seeing his girlfriend's behavior change every few minutes makes him internally panic and at a loss of what to do.

Especially when you cry. He made be compelled to cry as well :<

Thankfully, he has the entirety of the Monstro Lounge at his aid. He can cook you up some quality meals that will help with your period, both nutritious and easy to the stomach. Along with the many meals, Azul also buys you a lot of snacks, many of your favorite types

He offers some messages whenever his girlfriend gets some cramps. His fingers are nimble on your shoulders, feet, and hands, trying to distract you from the pain.

He really hopes this works because he doesn't know what to do otherwiseeee

He isn't one to become really embarrassed when it comes to buying pads since he isn't really aware of what it is, and seeing as it will help his girlfriend he doesn't give it much of a second thought. Though he does become uneasy at some of the stares he gets.

Although he panics at times, Azul puts aside a lot of time to keep an eye on his girlfriend, his eyes attentive to any of her needs. At some point he even starts to mark it down on his calendar with little reminders to bring you food, water at random intervals throughout the day

" What are they called again? Pads? Alright, I will be back with a pack soon. In the meantime, I have drawn you a bath, I hope that will soothe your aches until I return."

-

Kalim Al Asim

Clueless boy but still tries his best :D

Though clueless Kalim does have a moderate understanding of periods and what to do. He has many younger siblings, and periods are a normal thing that occurs and one shouldn't be ashamed of it

However, because he has grown used to the aid of servants, when it comes to taking care of his girlfriend he can be a bit lost but gives his best attempt nonetheless

Kalim is going to do everything in his power to make sure his girlfriend is comfortable. He will build a little nest of pillows and stack some blankets of different varieties. Still feels uncomfortable? No need, Kalim will buy a ton more pillows with extra fluff.

Will spoil you so rotten

Is bewildered by your mood swings and comes to understand that there will be times you want to be alone and other times you want to be affectionate. Regardless, he remains calm with a smile on his face, hoping his happy nature will at the very least ease his girlfriends worries

Feeling hungry? Kalim will buy the entire snack section of the store. He doesn't know what to get you so why not buy everything? He has a snack ready for you at any given moment.

You could be sleeping and upon waking up, you'd be met with a pile of your favorite snacks beside, with a little note from Kalim(filled with little doodles <333)

Kalim becomes heart broken when he sees you in pain. Clutches you close to him, resting his head on top of your own. Let's you squeeze his hand whenever the pain becomes overwhelming

He is not even the slightest embarrassed when it comes to buying pads. And like the snacks, he buys many packs since he isn't sure which one will be the best, pick your favorite !

During the process, Kalim becomes more clingy(unless you need space, that's perfectly fine as well !)sticking by your side for as long as he can.

He cuddles with you more and rest against your torso during the night, giving light pecks

Kalim lets you get onto his back if your feet ache or in too much pain to move. He even takes you on a magic carpet ride if the pain becomes too much, using it like as a distraction

Whatever you need he'll get you <3

" The new pillows I ordered came in, wanna switch them out? I read these ones were made specifically for periods."

-

Vil Schoenheit

Like Riddle, Vil is very dependable during these times and handles the situation with care. He is always preparing a few days before the start of your period(as he marks it on his own calendar), just to be ready for anything his girlfriend may face

Does his own research and looks for the best methods to help someone during this time of month.

He even goes to his agency to let them know he may be busy for the next few days tending and caring for you ♡

Vil will buy the highest quality and most comfortable pads and tampons out there. He carries some on his person in case of an emergency along with a pair of pants or shorts. And with the pads he also carries some medication, making sure you take the medicine at the right hours.

No need to worry about heating pads or tea, he's already got those pre ordered and it's the top of quality and does wonders

Vil becomes very observant to what you're eating, cutting back any caffeine or spicy foods and instead giving you a light meal with fruits.

Will seduce you into healthy eating habits 😙

takes care of any work you need to finish, such as any laundry, cleaning or any school stuff as you rest.

Something he isn't the best at though is when it comes to your mood swings. It can be unnerving sometimes, especially if you're upset. Vil tries to keep a straight face during these moments but his brows furrowed together every so often.

Vil takes his girlfriend to get a message whenever her body starts to ache along with other self-care activities to distract you from the pain.

Meanwhile at home, he is cuddling with you in bed, rubbing shapes on your back, sweet whispers meeting your ears as you fall asleep

" All the pain will be gone soon, sweet potato. Right now focus on the sound of my voice, how what does a luxury spa day with messages sound to you hmm?."

-

Idia Shroud

Help him, he doesn't know what to do and panics a lot

Idia has zero knowledge on what periods are, with the exceptions of some things mentioned in anime and read online but he's still clueless on what to do. 

It's a process of trial and error, noting what works best and what he needs to alter and fix. 

Your mood swings make him p a n i c. The look of surprise is easily readable on his face like an open book, his eyes widening in surprise as he arms bunch up to his chest. 

From that point he is always anticipating for your mood to change and tries to do anything to prevent you from getting upset, cause let's be real, you're scary when mad. 

He even goes through the effort to clean his room a bit so his girlfriend can easily find her things without getting annoyed with the mess(not that you had a problem with it in the first place)

Idia gets you lots of snacks, especially sweets. He has a stash hidden in one of his drawers, it's his 'girlfriend is hungry, panic button' saved for these times of month. 

He also buys a weighted blanket, many of them, all with the purpose to provide heat during the night

He tries to give you messages but it can be rough sometimes as his movements become shaky, sometimes pinching you involuntarily. 

Idia places a hot towel on top of your stomach when the cramps become too much, changes it occasionally when bringing you a glass of water + medicine 

He tries to distract you by gathering all your blankets and pillows and creates a nest around the couch, and puts on a nice anime to watch while you cuddle against him, munching on the many candies he has store away

Idia pefers to buy the pads and tampons online. But since shipping takes a few days, he was forced to exit the den that is his dorm room and go to the store. He runs in quick, grabs a few packs before dashing away- next time he resorts to buying it online in advance

May become a bit of a broken record, asking you daily if there was anything you need.

But feels like the proudest person alive when it all pays out in the end in the form of cuddles and affection from his girlfriend <3

" Do you need anything? I- I have some candies, we can share if you like. Ah… I don't know what I'm doing."

-

Malleus Draconia

Malleus, as a fae can he probably smell blood and was concerned at first. If you're bleeding does that mean your hurt? Then whoever hurt you will face the wrath of the dragon fae.

Much like Azul, his girlfriend would have to teach Malleus about periods and that it's an normal thing that happens every month.

Malleus' response was to look at your stomach and poke at it a few times, like that's going to stop the blood. Good attempt tho 😗👍

Although not very knowledgeable in what periods are, he becomes a master of taking care of his lover within the first few months- he's also another one who tracks her period and marks it down.

If you thought Kalim was spoiling, Malleus takes it to another level. It's a sea of pillows and blankets with him, always having a new pillow to try out if the last one was too bulky or something.

He tries to make the atmosphere as cheery and light as possible to mask the situation, every morning you wake up with a vase of flowers and a little glass of water.

Malleus holds some medication, heating pads, tampons and any other thing you need on his person while you're both in public, he doesn't want you to worry about a thing.

He buys lots of ice cream during these days among your other favorite snacks and goods. May end up overdoing it and buying more than needed but at least your stock up for next month-!

Gives some of the best messages!! Works out any aches you may have, easily soothing the pain you may have.

Kisses your stomach, he knows it won't help with the cramps but maybe it can help his girlfriend feel even a little bit better. Each kiss is gentle and soft, perhaps a bit feathery to your skin

Malleus handles your mood swings pretty well. He was surprised at first at how quickly you changed moods based on a small little thing but he learns to adapt and change whatever is bothering at you in a given moment

Many dates ! Takes you on panics under the moonlight, walks around the school and other activities that will work to distract you from the cramps and stiff feelings

Compliments. Many many many compliments. With mood swings can come with some undesired thoughts about one's self. Malleus will always voice his love for you and the worth you have. A day will never pass in which he forgets to do so <33.

" My treasure, though you may see yourself as undesirable, I see the most beautiful person in this world. I truly wished I could take away your pain."

All day~

It’s Dire Crowley slander all day, everyday 😤

{The image isn’t mine, I found it on Pinterest}

Poor Idia... we should've told him :(((

Ace... you are in BIG trouble young man.

PAIRING: Idia Shroud x reader

SUMMARY: Recently your friends have found you seemingly more distracted- you payed more attention to your phone and would always sneak out at night to go who knows where- eventually, ( Ace) they all jumped to the conclusion that you were seeing someone. Now for the real question, who exactly was your partner??

INCLUDES; First years shenanigans, gender neutral reader, established relationship, 2nd Person POV, SFW, Crack-ish fluff

Additional Notes: Here's my part of the writing collab @dulcesiabits has hosted! this was tons of fun!!!

"'s- all of this-" he gestured towards the chart

"- really necessary???" Epel questioned, raising his brow doubtfully at the redhead in question, the chart currently in front of them marking everyone at nrc who the prefect knows and has talked to.

"Hah?! What do you mean by that?! Of course it is!!" Ace huffed out, annoyed that none of them was getting it. "Y'know it's none of our business right?" Epel shot back, still skeptical about it all.

"-and besides, they would have told us if they were seeing anyone." Jack shrugged, finally voicing out his skepticism about the current situation at hand. Sebek nodded, along with deuce, all mutually agreeing that this was pointless, to Ace's dismay.

Ace let out a groan "Cmon guys! Why else would they be going out so often huh???? They barely even look at us anymore! they're always on their phone smiling!" He cried out, pointing to the chart, a determined frown on his face.

The rest of the group had started to look at each other, defeaning silence falling upon the once loud room.

"..."

"...."

"......"

"Well-...." the half fae started, his usual defeaning voice wavering. "I suppose...you are correct on that one, human. They did skip lunch with us today-" Sebek stated, trying to act unbothered, but it was evident on his face that he did miss your presence, even if just a bit.

"-And the day before that.." Deuce added, furrowing his eyebrows, pouting slightly.

"See?! And worst of all! they didn't tell us about it! I mean! We're their best friends! we should know this!" Ace yelled out, eyeing his two other friends Epel and Jack, who weren't as convinced.

"Well...I guess??? They have been on their phone more..." Epel mumbled under his breath.

Jack, (being the only sensible one) shook his head sighing.

"Well then, why not just ask them directly instead of-"

"No!!" Ace interrupted, a mischevious look on his face, pointing to the chart that he had prepared. "We'll snipe out everyone who had been talking to them more recently!" he concluded, snickering at his 'oh so genius plan'.

Jack grumbled, 'of course.' he thought to himself, an exasperated expression on his features.

Focusing at the chart in question, they all had started to discuss your potential partner, all sharing their theories and thoughts.

"..Riddle maybe..???" Deuce said, unsure of his own thoughts. You have been spending more time with him, he thought, counting back to all of the unbirthday parties you've personally helped him with, and how you two would study together sometimes.

"Ew!! no! Riddle??? Our housewarden?? No way." Ace grimaced, shuddering at the thought of you getting together with Riddle of all people. "Besides, they act like siblings! That'd be weird." He finished, shaking his head at even the slightest possibility of Riddle being your partner.

Epel sighed, marking an "x" on riddles face with a red sharpie. "That marks him out then" He said, looking at all of the people at nrc left.

Oh boy. This is gonna take a long while.

A long, long hour has passed since their little investigation had started, all of them equally tired.

"Ugh- this is pointless!" Ace cried out, looking at the chart in front of them, various red marks scattered all over the list of people. "At this rate we should've just asked them!!" he sighed, his frown deepening.

"Geez- it's like...That wasn't what Jack suggested from the very beginning" Epel deadpanned, an exhausted look on his face, a headache forming from all of this romance-nonsense.

"Shush! Anyways- all we need to do is follow them till they lead us to the culprit!"

"Stop talking like they're datin' some criminal!"

"...This is a bad idea..." Jack grumbled under his breath, ears drooping down as he frowned. "Shh! quiet down! they're gonna hear us!" Ace hissed in a hushed tone. Before the two could start bickering, they quieted down when they heard your voice accompanied with Grims cheers, now listening intently to the two of you.

"Nyahaha! I told ya he'd beat ya at that game! your artifacts 're nothing compared to him!"

Grim cheered, laughing at your loss as you

glared at him. "Aren't you supposed to be cheering me on?! You were even freaking out when I told you we were together!!" You cried out, exasperated by your friends behaviour. "Hmmm,, well! Yeah...But," He stroked his chin as if deep in thought and pointed his finger at you. "-He promised me he'd buy me tuna if he won! So I approve of him now!" He finished, snickering as you look at him as if you were about to commit murder.

Sighing, you defeatedly pulled out your phone when you heard your notifs go off.

Ping!

"You can always win next time ;) But your artifacts are just...sad,,,I can come there to get you better ones k?"

Ping!

"..I mean- given its only you and Grim there..Right????"

You read the message, a smile forming your features as you imagined Idia fumbling over his messages with a flustered look, laughing quietly you sent your boyfriend a response.

"Yep yep!! I'll set up the game rn!"

Read: 5:56PM

Putting your phone down, you were about to set up the equipment when you were interrupted by a loud voice.

"AHA!!!"

Ace was the first one to yell out, appearing suddenly inside your room as the others showed themselves as well. Causing you (and Grim) to shriek in terror.

"Ace?!!" You and Grim simultaneously yelled out as your clutched your shirt in an attempt to make your heart beat calm down.

"-And everyone else?! What are you even doing here??!" You questioned, the unexpected guests in your room now looking at each other with a guilty look on their face as you waited impaitently for an answer.

"Hah?? Shouldn't we be the one asking questions????" Ace narrowed his eyes at you, a betrayed expression painted on his face.

"Ehhh? what are you on about?" Grim shot back, confused (and annoyed) by his friends sudden appearance.

"You didn't tell us you had a boyfriend!" He replied offended, pointing his finger at you. Your eyes widened at the reply, making a silent "oh" with your mouth with Grim snickering at their reasoning.

"..Oh- I uh- never told you..???" You said sheepishly, looking at your friend group with a guilty expression. Ace nodded frantically as the others did as well. "Uh yeah! you've been skipping lunch with us- and ditching our hangouts, and worst of all you didn't even tell us why!" He cried out

"Wh- hey!! I did tell you guys!" You offendedly shot back at him

"Well..-You did say you were with a friend.." Deuce muttered, "Which was a lie!" Ace finished, refusing to look at you. Shaking your head at his antics, you simply stated that you were friends, until recently so. Causing him to gaze at your direction again. "Oh." Was all he said as the others glared at him. "Yeah- "oh." Now- was that all you wanted to talk about? I kinda have a-"

"Wait! you never told us who it was!" Deuce suddenly yelled, as Ace nodded his head approvingly. "We've sorta been guessin' for an hour now." Epel stated, embarrassed to admit what they've been doing for the past hour. Sebek was the one to yell out this time. "Human! You have yet to tell us who is courting you! I bet they aren't even worthy of you! Unless, of course they're Lord Malleus..B-but even so!"

Jack, being the only sensible one calmly asked

"Who are you dating, prefect?" He raised his brow, anticipating your answer.

"Oh- It's actually-"

Hearing the door open behind you, followed by a confused scream, everyone immediately turn their heads towards the person in question.

"Ah! Idia!! you're here!" You greeted him, apologizing for your friends sudden visit, knowing he likes being alone.

Grabbing his hand gently, you finished your sentence. "It's Idia!" You proudly stated, earning a confused "huh?!" from everyone as your boyfriend in question had melted from the intense glares of disbelief of your friends, now hiding behind you, his hair tinted in a shade of pink., overwhelmed by the chaos surrounding him.

"IT'S IDIA?!????"

They all yelled in unison as Ace slid to the ground, followed by Sebek shaking his head disaprovingly, Epel currently questioning your taste in men, Deuce congratulating you (even if he's still shocked) and Jack sighing exasperatedly at everyone.

Shaking your head at their antics, you return your focus onto Idia, who could only mutter out one thing;

"Idia.exe has malfunctioned."

"H-huh? Idia are yo-IDIA PASSED OUT!!!"

"MYAHHH!! THEY KILLED MY TUNA SUPPLIER!!!"

Author's Notes: Man I thought writing for idia would be easy since I kin him sobs; I do love Idia vv much- Our local shut in deserves some love too! though I did get writers block halfway through, so I hope this is still a good read despite that!

LMAO HELP I'M WHEEZING RN AND I HAVE TO KEEP QUIET CAUSE I'M IN A RESTAURANT WITH MY FAMILY

this is why you should NOT hit on Kalim Al-Asim

My piece for the ‘who does the prefect like?’ writing collab by @dulcesiabits ! Sorry this is so late, I hope you enjoy it!

note: they/them pronouns used for reader

“They’re onto us, Kalim.”

Kalim blinked. “What do you mean, (Y/N)?”

“The first years,” you hissed, looking left and right. “They suspect that I’m dating someone.”

All the doors and windows of the Ramshackle Dorm were safely locked, and you had drawn the curtains for good measure. You would have switched off the lights too, if there were any (Crowley had forgotten to pay the electricity bills again). The only thing lighting the room you and Kalim were three of the Ramshackle ghosts.

They were your close allies, which you were grateful for. You would need allies in the times to come…

“…how is that a problem?” Kalim frowned with confusion. “It’s not a big deal if people found out we were dating.”

“…” Your eyes began to brim with tears, and you reached over to your boyfriend and tenderly cupped his cheeks with your hands. “Oh, Kalim…sweetheart, angel, love of my life…if people found out we were dating…it would be a complete travesty!”

“Travesty, travesty, travesty!” echoed the ghosts in perfect synchronisation.

“R-really?” Kalim’s eyes shone with fear.

“Yes!”

“…ah…!” Kalim shivered a little as well. “I don’t know why you would think that, but if you say so…do you have a plan?”

“Kalim…” Your face darkened, and you sat back up on the couch. “We need…to become…pals.”

“…but we’re already pals!” chirped Kalim. “You’re my favourite pal!”

“No, Kalim.” You shook your head sadly. “We need to become simply pals. Nothing more. We can only do pal stuff with each other. No kissing. No holding hands. No buying me gifts. No calling each other ‘sugar-bear,’ ‘sweetie-pie,’ or anything of the sort.”

Kalim’s eyes widened, and he began tearing up. “Not even hugging…?”

“Especially not hugging.”

“…what…what if I slip up?” Terror dawned on Kalim’s face. “What if I accidently hug you in public? Then everyone would find out…!”

“If you slip up and accidently show me affection in any way, you need to jump exactly six feet away from me as quick as possible and say, ‘But not like, in a weird way!’ That should cover it up.”

“I hope I don’t give us away…”

“Of course, you won’t! I wouldn’t have told you my plan if you would!” You gave Kalim a loving, adoring smile. “I trust you, Kalim.”

You suddenly turned away from him. “I’m afraid you must leave now, Grim will be arriving…leave, my dear, lest our secret love be revealed to the world!”

“I’m leaving, I’m leaving!”

And Kalim ran out of Ramshackle, trying to be discreet as possible.

By which one means: not discreet at all.

…

“The prefect hasn’t been answering my calls,” grumbled Ace. “They’re probably off kissing Kalim again.”

“Really?” Deuce frowned with confusion. “The prefect isn’t dating anyone, though.”

“Deuce.” Ace grabbed Deuce by the shoulders. “I want you to think. Who told you that the prefect was single?”

“The prefect told me.”

“And why would they say that they’re single?”

“Because they are single?”

“Dummy.” Ace bonked Deuce on the head, and Deuce yelps. “What was that for?!”

“I was trying to get that brain of yours working! Kalim constantly comments hearts under (Y/N)’s photos on Magicam, how can the not be dating?!”

“Maybe because they’re friendship hearts!”

“They have matching heart necklaces with each other’s names on them!”

“Maybe those are friendship necklaces!”

“Deuce, we saw them making out in the corridor.”

“…maybe…they were…making out…platonically?”

Ace facepalmed. “Platonically?! Are you kidding me, Juice?”

“Don’t call me that!”

Jack, who was sitting in the corner of the room silently, finally speaks up. “There are a lot of different sexualities out there, Ace. Platonic make-outs are probably a thing, you know.”

“See, Ace?!” Deuce smiled triumphantly. “I was right!”

“However,” Jack interrupted Deuce’s victory celebration, “I know enough about the prefect that I can be sure that them and Kalim are probably dating.”

“Nah, they’re definitely dating,” called out Epel. “I heard (Y/N) call Kalim ‘wifey’ the other day.”

“What?!” exclaimed Ace and Deuce in unison.

“Yeah. They’ve even got rings. With diamonds and everything, but they’re kinda subtle, so you have to really be paying attention.” Epel looked deep in thought. “Gotta say, if those are real, they hafta be worth a lotta money…”

“No way you’re telling the truth,” scorned Ace. “Even the prefect can’t be that cringe.”

“Are you callin’ me a liar?!”

“You both, calm down,” said Jack. “We need to stop pondering over the prefect’s love life; it isn’t any of our business.”

“That’s the whole point, Jack,” responded Ace, rolling his eyes. “There’s a reason trashy tabloids sell, you know. It’s no fun if it is your business.”

“Still, it doesn’t feel right…”

“Well, if you wanna leave, the door’s right there.” Ace gestured to said door, and smirked. “But be honest, Jack: you’re here because you’re curious, aren’t you? You might try to act all ‘holier than thou’ but deep down you’re dying to know if the prefect is really dating Kalim.”

“…” Jack frowned, but he didn’t move from his seat at the round table.

“Sebek, you haven’t said anything,” noted Deuce, looking at the green-haired, stoic boy. “What do you think?”

“Well, at first, I was admittedly shocked by those two’s behaviour. Handholding? Before marriage? That’s how unplanned pregnancies happen!”

In the background, Ace choked on his own laughter.

“But,” continued Sebek, “When I heard the prefect refer to Kalim as ‘wifey’, it became clear to me that they were, in fact, married or at least engaged, in which case their public displays of affection, while still distasteful, were not the immoral acts of promiscuity I had initially thought them to be.”

“But…they’re not married…?” Deuce treaded carefully, he knew this would set off an explosion.

“What.” A great big frown marred Sebek’s features, and he shouted, “THEN THEY MUST BE SEPERATED AT ONCE! LEST THEY BECOME CORRUPTING INFLUENCE ON THE YOUNG MASTER, NAY, A CORRUPTING INFLUENCE ON OUR ENTIRE GENERATION!”

“Tell me you have no bitches without telling me you have no bitches,” snickered Ace under his breath.

Jack slammed his hand on the table. “We need to stop this madness. We’ve become too unhealthily obsessed with this matter.”

“I wouldn’t say obsessed…” murmured Epel.

“Epel, you made an evidence board,” said Jack pointedly. “With red wool.”

“Okay, maybe we’re kinda obsessed…”

“Anways, we need to bring an end to this once and for all. Either, we find out the truth of the prefect’s relationship, or we drop the entire investigation.”

Murmurs of agreement sounded in the room.

“…But…” Deuce raised his hand. “How are we going to find out if they really are dating or not?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got a plan,” Ace reassured him. “It’s fool-proof, so it should even work on the prefect.”

“And what is the plan?” asked Jack.

Ace smirked.

“Ace, what is the plan?”

Ace’s smirk became wider.

…

“Are you lost, babygorl?” said Jack stiffly, before leaning on the wall in front of Kalim.

Honestly, he should have known better than to have gone with this plan. The only reason he was even here was because Ace was holding his cacti hostage (that little shit). And now, he was here. Trying to seduce the prefect’s man.

Why him?

“Oh, you’re Jack, aren’t you? Honey bea– the prefect mentioned you!” Kalim smiled. “I’m not lost! But thanks, though.”

“Um…” Jack coughed. “You’re welcome.”

The tiny receiver in his ear crackled to life. “What the hell, Jack?!” Ace shouted, his voice tinny in the small speaker. In the corner of his eye, Jack could spot Deuce, Ace and Epel buried in a nearby bush, watching Jack with a hawk’s eye. Sebek wasn’t there, because the moment Ace had explained the plan, he had passed out at the thought of ‘intimate talk’ before marriage. 

“That wasn’t smooth. At all,” said Epel. “Try a different one.”

Jack swallowed. “Anyways…” This is so embarrassing, this is so embarrassing– “Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?”

“Oh, I do really like dates!” Kalim’s eyes sparkled. “Why, you got any?”

“…”

“What the heck was that delivery, Jack,” Ace groaned. “You need to be more sultry! More seductive!”

What the hell did Ace know about being sultry and seductive? Didn’t he ghost his only girlfriend?

Jack decided to keep it simple. “Do you…do you want to go out with me?”

“…we are outside, though?” Kalim frowned.

“He’s so…stupid!” Deuce shout-whispered. “A lost case!”

“You’re the one to talk,” replied Ace. Oh, he couldn’t just keep his mouth shut, could he?

“Why, you–!”

“Deuce, stop choking Ace­– WHAT WAS THAT FOR, GODDAMIT?!”

A few more shouts, a crash, and the line went dead.

But hey, Jack guessed this meant he could leave now.

“…I have somewhere to be. Goodbye.”

“Oh, goodbye, Jac–”

“Jack.”

Jack felt a dark, looming, angry presence behind him, one which made him want to start running, but Jack was a proud person, and he didn’t run away, so he turned around, and sorely regretted it.

Because it was you.

With a face that screamed ‘bloody murder’.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” chirped Kalim from behind Jack. “Jack was just asking me if we could go out! Want to join us?”

“Prefect,” began Jack desperately, “I promise you that this isn’t my fault, they were holding my cacti hostage–”

“HOW DARE YOU HIT ON MY WIFE?” you roared, with the force of a thousand suns.

Pride be damned. Jack started running.

…

Grim blinked, as he witnessed you chasing Jack with a murderous look, then turned his gaze to Epel, Ace and Deuce fist fighting in a bush. “What’s happening?”

“Beats me!” said Ortho cheerfully. “Wanna go to my dorm to play some video games?”

“Sure, sounds fun!”