But I Want To Be Better Than The Lessons They Taught Me. I Want My Love To Be Greater Than My Hate, My

“But I want to be better than the lessons they taught me. I want my love to be greater than my hate, my mercy to be stronger than my vengeance.”

— Amy Engel, The Book of Ivy

Odd places where you have felt lonely and loathed the fact that you are single.

I'll go first - So recently a fire broke out in my hostel and it was utter chaos. Thankfully nobody was injured but it was a state of pure panic. I was in middle of a test when I heard the news so I rushed back to my hostel, the upper building was on fire and everybody was hyperventilating and crying. Somehow things got under control and the girls just decided to not inform the families immediately almost as an unspoken fact to avoid more panic and worry on their end. We were sent to a safe space where everybody was huddled together and consoling each other. Yet it wasn't enough, almost everybody needed to talk to their own people. So almost everybody called thier partners and when they talked to them, I kid you not they were calmer and at ease. One girl literally called her partner ranted about the whole thing, he talked to her consoled her over a phone call.

I sat there dumbfounded with an epiphany that love, care and relationships do make a difference in your life, you really need someone especially in situations like these where need someone to ground you.

I couldn't even dial my friends because it was weekday and they had college😭

Putting efforts and not feeling the same energy 🤝

Earlier I said something about not having a crush on anybody and how it's been a long time since I had one.

Well bhagwan ne sun li meri,I sorta like this guy now, he ticks all the boxes y'all😩

But but but I don't think he feels the same and upar se I've been ghosted🤡

Never I mean NEVER I'VE felt this strong for anybody this soon only to turn out like such a disaster. Because whosoever has been through heartbreak I can't imagine the pain because sirf thode se time mai I got so attached, crying myself to sleep and shit, constantly thinking about the situation, checking my phone🤡

I feel so stupid for feeling this strong and this soon like bro slow down. Can't really blame the guy because meri expectations ganja fookti hai cause they're always high.

How do I stop my mind ugh

Instagram is scary at times because I decided to not think about this guy and get him out of my mind. Now every possible tarot reading is showing up on my reels telling me he's missing me he's regretting and he's coming back 🤡

Now I can't help it but think about him.

Clown behavior ✅

Chahe kuch ho jae lekin garmio mai jukham na ho.