And I Am No Longer What I Wasbut I Am Me, Complete Myselfbroken But Better

and I am no longer what I was but I am me, complete myself broken but better

Glen Martin Taylor, “but i am safe in here.”

There are some rules

July 16, 2024

There is no engagement or optimization. If someone in the void calls back, I will not be there to answer.

To be human is to be social, to give and receive validation. The machine algorithm has no nuance. It is merely a churning vortex, demanding more.

Art and engagement with the world is a product of being alive. Opting out is not possible. Nor is it healthy or ethical to disengage. The world includes the internet, for good and for bad and the mundane.

Once upon a time I used to make art for me (and occasionally other people). Now I cannot write without the gnawing desire to optimize. For everything is public and open to consumption.

What does it mean to make art in hopes of reaching people, to clarify yourself but to opt out of feedback?

Art may be a discussion between artist and audience, but I do not wish to become part of the product.

The internet is without form and easily subsumes and conflates. The experience of being alive is rooted in the specificity of time and place. I cannot remove this in order to make things have 'broader appeal.'

The premise is simple. Can I produce art about being alive that isn't written for machine consumption? And what has to happen for that to be a reality?

If I can no longer make art for its own sake, then I will remove it from myself. This account is unmonitored and follows no one. It is linked to an email unrelated to everything about my daily life and personal identity. I will not engage with any interactions with the content published. All notifications are turned off.

If this ever breaks containment (for I want someone to read, yet not perceive me as a product), no one will ever know. Anyone I tell can never see this project.

People do not exist alone. Art and ideas are built upon the engagement of others.

Nothing is static. Expect nuance and change.

To be human is to crave community and interaction. There is a part of me deep down that wants to be famous. But what for? And what does it mean? From there it all starts to unravel.

I could keep a journal and never let another get a glimpse of a page. But art is meant to be shared; that is what gives it context, meaning, and purpose.

Take that feeling and bring it forward. Kiss the ones you love, reach out to those who you want to. Sit down and share what you find moving.

I hope you never find me. That if you're reading this and it haunts you in the mundane moments of your day, know that we are in this together.

Even though I don't respond, I love you. To be human is to make art about being alive in hopes that for a split second someone else feels the same way as you. I do not need to respond in order to validate your feelings. You are enough.

reminder

“Upon Turning 25, A Small Nervous Breakdown” by Megan Williams

*through gritted teeth* you are not a child taking a test with the purpose of getting the highest score, you are an adult trying new things and finding ways to enjoy your life, make mistakes, be a beginner, be mediocre, be where you need to be, be unlikeable, just. be.