*through Gritted Teeth* You Are Not A Child Taking A Test With The Purpose Of Getting The Highest Score,

*through gritted teeth* you are not a child taking a test with the purpose of getting the highest score, you are an adult trying new things and finding ways to enjoy your life, make mistakes, be a beginner, be mediocre, be where you need to be, be unlikeable, just. be.

I hope you never read this.

July 15, 2024

What does it mean to write? I can hear that voice, a low murmur from just over my shoulder. Please, how do you grasp mere words, throw yourself at the feet of the muses. There's no gods here but the turn of a phrase rings clear with an element of the divine.

I wonder if this is what it means to be human.

Find self within the unfamiliar. Give me a moment tethered, drawing back a cord from me to the first being to grasp the concept of being bigger. And the gaping maw of yearning that desire opens.

If literature transcends, does social media erode? Pack me pixel by pixel into the small box on the screen.

Refresh.

With every post, my small insignificantness looms larger. Like and subscribe. And with every further moment, beat of my breath, rock of my body, gasp upon the waves, let go.

I don't want you to read this.

If you make art for arts sake, can you ever give an interview about it?

Can I expel these emotions far from me? Bury the afterbirth in a shallow grave. What would it be like to be free of the responsibility?

There no god to witness, but please if it's possible, I'd like you to read this and know nothing about me.

Breath over my ear, the murmur rises slightly. How would I write this for you? Quick and efficient, one plus one plus one, let engagement rise. If you hustle, you'll get there in no time.

reminder

“Upon Turning 25, A Small Nervous Breakdown” by Megan Williams

and I am no longer what I was but I am me, complete myself broken but better

Glen Martin Taylor, “but i am safe in here.”

Image description

An office chair and desk sit in a forest. On the desk is an old computer and keyboard.

In the upper right corner there is text. It is written in a red sans-serif font. It reads as follows:

I hope this email finds you well never finds you. I hope you find yourself instead. I hope you are free.

The words 'finds you well' are crossed out.