Pietro: Everyone Has A Bad Sibling That Teaches You A Few Things. Like How To Pickpocket, How To Manipulate

Pietro: Everyone has a “bad” sibling that teaches you a few things. Like how to pickpocket, how to manipulate others, how to smoke.

Pietro: How to hotwire a car, how to forge documents, how to put tacks in your shoe to throw off a lie detector test–

Scott: Wait, which of your siblings was this?

Pietro: I am the sibling.

Erik: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Moira: Weak. I sleep with a gun under mine.

Peter: You’re both pathetic.

Moira: What do YOU sleep with Mr. Hotshot?

Peter: *sipping his coffee* Scott.

Peter: So you like bad boys, huh?

Scott: I guess?

Peter: Tell him!

Jean: He’s just literally the worst.

Wanda: What the fuck?!

Pietro: What was that?!?

Wanda: That was . . .

Lorna: That was fucking bullshit, that’s what it was!!!

Scott: Are you guys okay?

Pietro: Why did that bitch need all that room?!

Scott: Are . . . are you watching Titanic?

The Brotherhood: Fuck the X-Men!

Pietro: *getting ready for his date with Scott* I already am.

Alex: Y’know, there’s a lotta handsome fish in the sea.

Scott: Yeah, thanks, but I’m . . .

Hank: I thought you had such a good time with that Maximoff boy?

Scott: Yeah, uh, right now I’m looking for just female fishes exclusively. Pietro was just a–

Ororo: So you’re bi?

Scott: No, no, ‘Ro. I’m not, I’m definitely not. I’m not bi, Hank.

Hank: That’s okay.

Scott: I’m not.

Hank: I love you.

Scott: Can we just move on from this conversation?

Alex: I love my bi son.