Source: Modern Family - Tumblr Posts
Nate: Any chance that’s for me?
John: It’s for Ocko. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight and I need him on my side.
Luna: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.
John: Luna’s at Olympic and Twentieth? That’s the old salvage yard where kids go to get high.
Scott: What?! We’re going there right now!
Pietro: Wait. Are you sure, John?
John: Ocko, I’m going to answer and then I’m gonna walk away. Deal?
Pietro: Deal.
John: I’m 420% sure.
Pietro: . . .
Scott: Wow, he’s bad at math!
Pietro: Everyone has a “bad” sibling that teaches you a few things. Like how to pickpocket, how to manipulate others, how to smoke.
Pietro: How to hotwire a car, how to forge documents, how to put tacks in your shoe to throw off a lie detector test–
Scott: Wait, which of your siblings was this?
Pietro: I am the sibling.
Aragon *after Cathy did something stupid*: Mija, I swear to god.
Cathy: You don’t scare me—
Cathy: With everyone else around.
Draco: Father's in town.
Harry: your dad?
Draco: No, yours. He's back from the grave.
Harry: My dad would be less scary.
Natasha and Maria recording Yelena's 'first ever drink' on her 21st birthday
Natasha: Okay, go ahead Yelena!
Yelena: Takes a shot of vodka with no reaction
Maria and Natasha stare at her, shocked
Yelena, deadpan: Ahh, it's so spicy
Feyre: We decided that if, Cauldron forbid, anything happens to us, we would like Nesta and Cassian to be Nyx's god parents
Nesta: That is great news! Nyx! When something horrible happens, you'll be all mine!
Rhysand: It really is an 'if' situation
Nesta, taking Nyx: All mine!
Hyde: One time, I forgot to get Jackie a birthday present, and I paid for it. Another time I remembered, but she didn't like the gift, I paid for that. So you think when I remembered to buy her a gift and she loves it, I wouldn't have to pay for it. Right?
Jackie: *singing ABBA on the karaoke machine*
Jackie: Okay, nobody make a big deal about it but I just broke up with Michael.
Fez: No...
Donna: Oh my Gosh, are you okay Jackie?
Jackie: Yeah, I'm fine. I just– I need to date somebody who has a clue, instead of an idiot who bangs his head every time he rides his bike out of his garage– every time!
Hyde: Hmm... I have a clue.
tony: i’m playing a new drinking game
tony: it’s called “every time i’m depressed i take a drink”
pepper: that game exists, it’s called alcoholism