HE WAS CRINGING SO HARD I LOVE IT!!!

HE WAS CRINGING SO HARD I LOVE IT!!!

Must I be a contributing member of society, isn't it enough for me to stay in bed and read all day

Such a great way to start my day. I LOVE THIS SO MUCHHHH

Her

— pairing » Cale Henituse x OC/Reader

— summary » Cale Henituse remembers a past. Not his past as Kim Rok Soo, but a different past. A past where he had someone.

— genre » fluff, angst if you squint.

— warnings » cursing/swearing, fluff, small angst, blood, gore if you squint.

As Cale looks around, he remembers something.

The dresses, the balls, the wine, the champagne, everything.

It reminded him of something.

The memory didn’t come as a headache, nor is it a sharp pain.

It was just there.

Lingering, in the deepest part of his mind.

It was always there.

Its just that, Cale didn’t acknowledge it.

Cale refused to acknowledge it.

With the whole war and the white star, Cale didn’t have time for those. It first came as dreams, Cale thought that maybe a God is messing with him again. It came as dreams, first.

Until it didn’t.

There would be times where Cale would look at a certain color and be reminded of something. A deja vu, he said to himself.

Cale would smell a familiar food and yet when he saw it—heard of it he would instantly get the memory of it. Of something—someone eating with him when Cale was sure that it didn’t exist. Not in his life as Kim Rok Soo and certainly not as Cale Henituse.

It came as that.

Until that day, memories would resurface.

Begging to be acknowledged, to be seen, to be recognized.

And when everything ended, where Cale could finally get his wanted rest,

Is when Cale acknowledged it.

Cale has a past.

Cale remembers a past.

A past where he was not Kim Rok Soo nor was he Cale Henituse.

He was a Commander too in that past.

Except, there was one thing his past had that Kim Rok Soo and Cale Henituse currently did not have.

Her.

Cale did not have her.

Cale remembers a time when they met, they were both survivors, a situation where it was kill or be killed. Cale remembers how his past self sneered at her, ignored her, and even attempted to kill her. For his walls were too high and built strong that his past self didn’t allow anyone.

But it’s not like she was any different.

Feral.

Guarded.

That was who they were.

Too many betrayals,

Too many deaths,

They both knew what it was like to bear the deaths of their companions, of their loved ones.

And perhaps that was the reason they didn’t kill each other.

“I’ll kill you next time.” She said, a grin sitting on her face as a dangerous spark glints on her eyes. He looked at her, a smirk crawled up on his face as he wiped the blood on his cheek, “Of course.”

As Cale took a sip of his drink, he clutched the stem of his glass, the familiar feeling—the memories were resurfacing again. Cale didn’t know what to do with these feelings, it was unfamiliar to him and yet it was familiar at the same time.

Longing, warmth, anger, love, sadness, and so much more were making their appearance.

Cale sighed in annoyance, running a hand through his hair as he surveyed his eyes across the room.

Annoying. Cale thought.

Cale didn’t want to feel these memories.

Cale didn’t want to feel.

Because he was not him anymore.

He was the past.

Just like how he is Cale Henituse now,

He is not him anymore.

But no matter how much Cale refused it, no matter how much he denied, it kept being there. Insisting, staying, it didn’t want to go.

Stubborn, and somehow. It reminded Cale of her.

Of how she used to argue with him, of how she’s the only one to battle him in wits, to match him in intelligence, to partner him with slyness, and to love him in greatness—

Cale flinched. The thought, the recognition of what he’s feeling flashed on his eyes however as soon as it came, it was gone.

And all the while, Cake didn’t notice the looks his group sent towards each other at his actions. Cale may not notice it, but they did.

There was a time throughout all their journey that Cale would just stare as nothing with a blank expression, normally they wouldn’t mind it as the Commander normally had his usual stoic expression, but it was different. Cale had this look, a faraway look, and sometimes, something would flash in his eyes.

An emotion that the others can’t bring themselves to say.

Cale looked—

Well he looked—

He looked defeated.

He looked as if he has resigned.

And at first, they thought that maybe the war is taking a toll on the Young Master, that everything that’s happening is tiring him out, and with that reasoning, the others helped Cale. But that excuse was not enough to describe the emotions that would cross the Commander’s face.

And they thought that once everything’s done, perhaps the Young Commander would stop having those flashes of emotions. After all, it didn’t do well for him and his group.

But it didn’t.

Even after everything’s over, even as they’re celebrating the one year anniversary of the Empire’s victory.

It didn’t end.

They would find Cale having this look and then sighing annoyedly as he rans a hand through his face, as a small frown settles. Just like now.

And the group didn’t know what to do.

Because for that split moment, it felt like Cale was not Cale.

It didn’t feel like Cale was his self.

Cale…

Cale felt different.

Different that even the dragons agreed with their opinions.

And as it happened again, today, they don’t know what to do.

Contrary to their thoughts, Cale was quite aware of his actions. He was not that dense to not notice how his friends are fretting over him whenever a memory would resurface. He was not that oblivious. But Cale couldn’t bring himself to tell them, sure there were people who knew of his true identity as Kim Rok Soo, but Cale felt that his past self—before Kim Rok Soo, was personal. Whenever Cale thought of saying it to Choi Han or maybe His Majesty, Alberu Crossman, a feeling of greed—of selfishness is holding him back.

I want to keep this to myself.

They don’t have to know.

Those thoughts would plague Cale’s mind.

And that’s another reason why Cale is annoyed, because he didn’t know what to do. Sure Cale remembers her, albeit he doesn’t exactly remember what she looked like Cale remembers her, he doesn’t remember everything, but he remembers enough.

These..

These feelings were making themselves known—making themselves to rule over him. And Cale didn’t exactly like that.

For as he said, Cale was not him anymore.

And Cale didn’t know why his past self was holding onto these feelings.

It didn’t appear back when he was Kim Rok Soo, so why was it being so noisy now?

Cale clicked his tongue in annoyance as he downed his drink and slammed his glass to the passing servant’s tray as he took another glass.

And as Cale took a sip of his new drink, hoping to distract his self enough, Cale felt another familiarity.

“Really! You shouldn’t drink so much alcohol Darling! Do you want to die? Huh?” His lover glared at him, small hands clutching at the drink he was previously holding.

“Now, Now. You know I don’t get drunk that easily.” He replied back, internally chuckling at his lover being adorable, if he compared this scene to when they first met, one would say they’re two different persons. He looked at her, wanting to picture this scene forever in his mind, wishing that all of this will never end. He wants to be with her, wants to grow old with her, he wants to give his all to her. As she was rambling, fretting over his health, she failed to notice the small adoring smile painting his features as he stares at her.

He yelped as a sharp pain smacked the back of his head, looking up while caressing his head, he was met with his lover. His lover who has this pretty and dangerous smile all the while sporting a mad glare, “Darling..”

He gulped. “Y-Yes, my love?”

“Were you listening to me?”

“Yes.”

“What did I say?”

He didn’t not reply back, for he didn’t really listen to her. Too distracted by her mere presence and the warmth she brings, the weakness she brought out of him, the feelings he gave to her when he didn’t know he was capable of being loved and loving someone, when he had confessed, kissed her, made love to her. When she gave him the home—the security that they’ve found in each other.

“Well..” He gave a cheeky smile as he didn’t know what to say, well to say the truth he really wasn’t listening. “…Darling…”

Oh no.

“H-Hey.. love.. my love? Loooovvee?” He looked at her confused as she stood still until she lifted her head up and smiled at him. It wasn’t the smile that she would give him, the one full of love and warmth, no. She was pissed.

“You should start running.”

And running he did, but amidst all. He wont deny one thing.

Truly, genuinely, sincerely, and to all the heaven and earth, in greatness of all things, to their souls will death never do them part,

He loves h—

“Fucking—“ Cale clicked his tongue loudly, running his fingers through his hair as his annoyance showed in full view, there was a tick mark on his face as he didn’t bother finishing his drink and instead slammed it to a table in frustration.

“God fucking dammit—“ However before Cale could even comprehend it, there was another one.

"No matter how many enemies we face, no matter how many scars we have, no matter how many years, decades, eras. No matter how long it is." He looks at her, his gaze full of love and care, "I will never give you up."

It sounds romantic no? If it wasn’t for the circumstances and their situations, it would’ve been nice.

His eyes told of experience, of tiredness, of love, of care, of will to live. His eyes tell. They always do.

And she opened her mouth and said—

Cale didn’t even had the chance to mull over the memory before another one surfaced again.

“Darling! I told you that’s my kill!” She pouted.

And another.

“Really, take care of yourself more okay?” She bandaged his back.

And another.

“Darling..” She smiled, “You’re not cheating on me are you?”

And another.

He looks at her, with so much love—with so much passion, “I love you.”

And another.

“Hey! You fucking handsome ass bastard! How dare you do that! Do you think I’m fucking weak??! I can survive a hit or two you motherfucking sacrificial ass sly bastard!!” And then she slapped him with all her might that he ended up on the floor.

And another

“Do you think that water is wet?” He looked at her as if she had grown two heads, “Hey! Stop looking at me like that! I said stop!”

And another

“Don’t be too sad, okay?”

And another.

“I’m tired.” “It’s okay, you can rest on me.”

And another.

“HOW FUCKING DARE YOU??!!! JUST BECAUSE I LOST MY MEMORIES FOR A WHILE YOU GAVE ME TO ANOTHER MAN??!! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?!!! YOU CANT GIVE UP ON ME YOU ASSHOLE! YOU HEAR ME!! CANT!! HOW DARE YOU GIVE UP AND GIVE ME TO ANOTHER BASTARD WHO’S MORE OF A BASTARD THAN YOU, YOU MOTHER FUCKER!” Well, he certainly didn’t know expect for not a slap, but a punch to greet him. This was not what he expected their reunion to be.

And another.

“I… I love you..”

And another.

“My beloved handsome darling! The star of my world, the apple of my eyes, the star who shines brighter than the sun—“ He looked at her sourly, “Stop.”

And another.

“My love!”

And another.

“DAAARRRRRLLLLIIIIINNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!!”

And another.

“I’m hungry.” “…Fine, I’ll cook.”

And another.

“Have I ever told you how handsome you are with your sleeves rolled up?”

And another.

“You’re so fucking handsome and beautiful it’s illegally legal.”

And another.

“Okay. Let’s sit.” She patted the space next to her as he looked at her in confusion as his head tilted to the side but nonetheless did what she said. She looked at him with utter seriousness and when she opened her mouth he had one of the most ridiculous expression on his face, “Why the fuck are you so handsome and pretty?”

And another.

“You cooking is male wife vibes.”

And another.

“If you see my ex please slap with with all you’ve got.”

And another, and another, and another, and another

“I have told you so many times did I not? That if, if you fucking hurt yourself I will smack you. I’m not even kidding.”

“YOU FUCKING SACRIFICIAL ASS BASTARD!!!”

“Hey.. let’s meet again.”

“Kill me? Sure, not if I kill you first.”

“Let’s not do this again, okay?”

“I.. actually want to cuddle.”

“Really~ try to have fun, Darling!”

“My love!! Darling!! Look!! I managed to cut off her head!!”

“Darling! I told you not to sleep like that!”

“Darling!”

“Darrrlliingggg!!!”

“…Darling…”

“D-Darling..”

“Dar..li..ng”

“DARLING!!”

Everything went on as memories of her ruled Cale’s mind.

“Hey.. I love you okay? Forever, and ever and ever.” She brought her bloodied hand to caress his face, wanting savour everything till her last breathe. He leaned down and nuzzle her cheek, “Till death will never do us part.” He whispers.

It was all about her.

And Cale is fucking sick of it.

He was not him anymore.

He was him.

But he is now Cale fucking Henituse.

Just what is that bastard that even now he couldn’t let go of her? Cale scoffed at his past self.

Fucking hell. Cale sighed as annoyance crossed his eyes, and by now, everyone could feel Cale’s change of mood. But like before, as soon as it showed, it was gone as well. And they were left with their usual stoic red haired commander who’s quite pissed behind the mask he shows.

“Young Master, would you like to rest?” Ron, his servant, upon noticing the quick change in his Young Master’s mood, quickly went to action.

“No. I’m fine.” Cale replied.

Ron surveyed him before backing off, “Yes, Young Master.” It seems that his Young Master is annoyed at something. Just what caused this? Ron sharpened his eyes at the crowd before him, hoping to find what caused Cale’s annoyance. But alas, it was nothing.

And as Cale took another glass, he downed it. Feeling the familiar taste of alcohol, Cale could feel himself loosening up a bit.

And Cale downed another one, and another one, and another one, and another one, till glasses and glasses filled the empty table, and still.

Cale was not drunk.

Red faced? Yes.

But drunk? No.

He has a high alcohol tolerance.

Even before, a small voice whispered at the back of his mind.

Cale ignores it.

He could hear the ancient powers asking him if he’s okay, he could hear Raon’s questions. But Cale only had one answer.

“I’m fine.”

And he was, he really is fine.

Who wouldn’t when his slacker life is finally coming onto him?

And so, Cale buried her. Deep in his mind. He buried her. Because the feelings that his past self—Cale won’t even deny it. It’s starting to mark it’s own into Cale. Cale didn’t like that. It was familiar but it was unfamiliar. Cale didn’t know how to feel.

His past self loved her before.

Kim Rok Soo did not have these memories—these feelings didn’t happen then.

But Cale Henituse?

Fucking hell it’s starting to make their way to him.

It’s fucking reaching him.

And Cale—Holy shit Cale could fucking feel the warmth—the love that his past self have.

And once that feeling went through the tiny crack that Cale had, it came bursting. All in motion.

And Cale could do nothing but succumb his self to the feelings.

For Cale Henituse knew, that in the first place, he stood no chance.

Perhaps it was the reason why Kim Rok Soo felt empty. Like somehow, a part of him died.

And that part of him filled up as Cale Henituse gained these feelings.

Ah shit. Cale chuckled mockingly at his self.

I guess even after I reincarnated I still can’t let go of her huh? Fucking shit and to think I denied it this long. No wonder I can’t let go of these feelings from the past.

That sly woman already owned him from the start.

She already had me from the start.

Cale acknowledged it.

Cale recognised it.

Cale remembers it.

His past self loved her.

Hell he loved her so much that even in another life he couldn’t let go of his feelings.

Cale wonders why these feelings didn’t make their appearance back when he was Kim Rok Soo, and why only now when he’s Cale Henituse?

And yes.

Cale acknowledges the fact that these feelings— that he still loves her.

Yes.

Love.

Cale Henituse will fucking admit that he still loves her.

His past self, Kim Rok Soo, and Cale Henituse. All of them were one.

Different bodies, but the soul will always be the same.

The soul will never forget.

His soul refuses to forget.

And in turn of that, his feelings connected.

“And death will never do us part. And don’t even think of refusing.” Goddamn even death didn’t do my feelings part, Cale remembers the vow he made to her. Truly, Cale’s feelings didn’t do part. And somehow, Cale didn’t know whether he should be glad or not. After all, Cale’s alone. She’s not here. So what’s the point?

The only thing Cale has of her is his memories and the feelings.

And Cale knows he’ll never forget it.

His record will never let him.

And just as Cale drank the wine, just in time, his hyung-nim called for him.

“Cale. Come here.” Alberu motioned for him, Cale could see Alberu talking to someone in front of him, Cake couldn’t see them since Alberu was covering them.

Cale sighed again as he put down the glass and willed himself to walk towards the Emperor.

As soon as Cale was near, The Emperor, Alberu Crossman smiled brightly,

Oh no. Cake could already feel it.

“My sworn brother, the mighty young master of the silver shield! How joyous for you to come to this event, I’m sure that young master Cale’s bright silver shield will continue to protect us. Young Master Cale, you truly are a mighty and strong her-“ However, before Alberu could even finish his sentence, someone cut him off.

“Your Majesty, The Emperor Alberu Crossman, the Shining star—no, the shining sun of the Roan Empire. The sun that shines beneath us all citizens, this humble servant of the Empire is overjoyed to be in the presence of the mighty Emperor. Truly, your brightness that shines even on the darkest days will forever be embedded onto us Your Majesty, this humble servant of the Empire basks in your presence Your Majesty, as His Majesty’s beauty and grace that is like the star that shines upon us citizens brings joy to us. Truly, a lowly noble like myself can only cry in admiration.” Cale had a proud smirk in his face at the look of his hyung.

Well, if he wasn’t in the presence of these nobles he might as well give threaten his dongsaeng of the Prime Minister’s position.

Alberu forced a smile on his face as he faked a laugh and went to hug Cale, said man on the other hand graciously received his hyung’s hug however as soon as that happened,

“Bullshit.”

“You bastard.”

Cale and Alberu instantly whispered this to each other all the while sporting a bright smile, as if nothing is happening.

“Anyways.” Alberu cleared his throat as soon as the hug broke and motioned to the people behind him, the ones who he was talking with earlier, Cale noticed.

Alberu gestured his hand, “Cale, meet Duke Ophius, Duke, this is the eldest son of the Henituse Duchy.”

Ophius Duchy.

Cale remembers them.

They’re a Duchy specializing in herbs and poison as well as creating the highest grade of potions. Their Duchy aided them in the war with multiple Potions as well as ointments that worked incredibly fast.

“Cale Henituse.” Cale gave a nod to the Duke, his stoic face as usual wasn’t giving out anything of what he’s thinking.

“Yes, I’ve heard many things about you Young Master Cale.” The Duke said. You really don’t know what he’s thinking The Duke thought as he glanced at Cale, before a smile surfaced and he took a step to the side.

And it was only now that Cale noticed that the Duke brought someone else.

“Young Master, this is my daughter. She’s the one behind the antidotes and all the other potions during the war.”

And as he fully saw her, Cale felt his breathe hitch.

He knew her.

He knew that scent.

He knew those eyes.

Ever since Cale accepted the fact of his memories—that he acknowledged it, Cale gained all of his memories from the past.

And he knew that face.

He knew those eyes.

She might have a different body but the soul does not forget.

The heart will never forget.

It’s her.

She’s here.

Before him.

Standing.

Breathing.

Alive.

Wearing a dress befitting of her status as the Duke’s daughter, accessories painting her as her hair shined beneath the lights. Cale wasn’t one to be sentimental and poetic, but Cale will admit.

She’s beautiful—ethereal even. Words cannot describe her.

And Cale felt like laughing because he realized it.

Kim Rok Soo didn’t feel these feelings and these memories because she did not exist in his world before.

She was not in Kim Rok Soo’s world.

And now that she’s here?

It explains everything.

And judging by the slight widen of her eyes, it seems that she didn’t know that Cale was him.

He knows that she knows of his existence, after all, she has aided him in battle.

But he knows that she didn’t know that Cale Henituse was him.

That he was him reincarnated in this world.

After all, in this life, they have never met in person.

“It is an honor to meet the person behind the victories, Young Master Cale.”

And as Cale snapped back to the present, he let out a smirk.

A smirk of amusement.

So this is how she’s going to play it?

Fine. I’ll play her game.

Cale’s smirk widened as a glint flashed in his eyes.

“Human! You have that face again! Are we going to steal something? Who are we scamming?”

Steal? Yeah, sure.

I’m going to steal her.

And when Cale opened his mouth,

Alberu almost tripped.

“I’ve heard many things about you, My lady.”

MY LADY?!!!!

“It seems that the esteemed Lady of the Ophius Duchy is quite the genius.”

Cale’s group looked at in incredulously, sure they’ve seen him do that but usually it’s because of their plan. But this?

They didn’t know what made him do this.

“Your abilities have greatly aided us during the battle, My Lady.”

Cale’s smirked just became larger at her look.

He knows she knows that she expected this, but to think he’ll actually do it..

I bet she didn’t know that.

Cale ignored their looks as he gave a bright smile towards her, “I’ve been wanting to meet you but it seems that My Lady was too busy.”

That wasn’t a lie. Cale really was trying to make contact with her in hopes that he’ll make a deal with her, but all Cale got in response was a letter sent by—Cale presumes— is one of her people. And Cale that time didn’t mind it, as long as he got what he wanted all is well.

And to be honest, Cale didn’t really mind not meeting her. At first.

But who’s to say Cale wouldn’t use this opportunity to make contact with her now?

“Ah.. my apologies Young Master. It seems I was too busy during those times.” Cale could see her holding back a frown as she smiled.

Oh?

She really isn’t giving in.

“Cale.”

“Pardon?” She looks at him confused, but what came out of Cale’s mouth shook her whole being.

“Just call me Cale.”

This.. this bastard!

What the hell is he doing?!!

She gritted her teeth as she sharply glares at Cale, said man merely smiled as his eyes glints in amusement.

Seeing that, she sneered at him. Quite openly so.

He knows what he’s goddamn doing!

Really—!!!

And the fact that he’s dressed like that— a black commander uniform—courtesy of his majesty with a little threat to Cale with the Prime Minister’s Position— with half of his hair tied with a black ribbon, handsome and beautiful features, Cale looks ethereal.

Fucking hell he always does—

Everyone—literally everyone around them felt shock coursing through their bodies.

Does Cale know this woman?

Is he affiliated with her?

But from what he said he hasn’t met her right?

Or has he?

Confusion filled people’s mind, especially Cale’s family as well as the Emperor.

Heck, Duke Ophius felt his jaw land on the floor at the thought that his daughter and the young hero knows each other.

They have never seen Cale act like this.

Choi han didn’t see this side of Cale— even as Kim Rok Soo.

So how?

Why?

Who is this woman that made Cale—the Young Master like this?

“I believe I cannot do that, Young Master.”

Cale raised a brow, “And why is that, Young Lady of the esteemed Ophius Duchy?” Cale said with a close eyed smile.

She felt her twitch before the same bright smile appeared on her face, “I believe the Young Master of the Silver Shield is too mighty and is too high for me to casually address the Young Master informally.”

“Nonsense. It wouldn’t be if I, myself—gave you permission to.”

“But I am a mere—“

“My Lady, you are from a Duchy who have made quite the accomplishments and contributions during the war.”

“And compared to the Young Master who lead the war and came back with victories, I am but a mere peasant.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, Young Master.”

“But I remember that the Young Lady had become a big part of the war’s victory.” Cale smirked.

“It is small compared to the Young Master of the Henituse Duchy.” She countered with a smile of her own.

“My Lady.”

“Young Master.”

Thunder seemed to spark between to the two as smiled became strained.

Cale sighed, so this is how you’re going to this huh?

Fine.

“Your Majesty.”

“Yes, Cale?”

“Don’t we have the problem of numerous bugs and different kinds of insects infecting on one of our land?” Cale mentioned.

Alberu, confused but still responded. “Yes. I believe the council are coming up with solutions for that, although I have my own alternative.” Now, what is this crazy bastard planning? Alberu looked at Cale suspiciously.

Cale smiled,

Oh no.

She already knows where this is going.

“I believe that the Young Lady of the Ophius Duchy would be the perfect fit to give this task t—“

“Darling.”

Got you.

Cale smiled brightly, “Yes, my love?”

She stared at him with annoyance as she clicked her tongue, “You planned this, did you not?”

“I believe I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She scoffs at him in reply, turning her head away with a ‘hmph!’.

And amidst all, Cale only smiled at her adoringly. Looking at her with warmth and love that the people around him flinched. Especially Alberu.

Least to say, everyone had the memory of their lives.

Literally.

Hong: So olive oil is made out of olives right?

Cale: Yeah

Raon: ok so hear us out here

Hong and Raon: Than Baby oil—

Cale and On: NO

Cale: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, malewife ourselves out of this one

Yoojin: What about manslaughter?

Cale: That’s a last resort option

Both of them: ………*slowly turn their heads and stare at Dokja*

Dokja: *sights and grabs chinese dress and garter belt* Fineee mamwhore it is