If I Ever Get A Girlfriend Shes Gotta Look Like A Great Egret

If I ever get a girlfriend she’s gotta look like a Great Egret

Also, might I add, Jotaro and Kakyoin both have the ‘underexpressive autism’ so they’re flat faced, dead serious at all times. Jotaro sticks a giant googly eye to Kakyoin’s forehead in art class and he just looks at him like a goat; nothing behind the eyes, the ceiling fans literally reflect in his peepers like a tv screen. That motherfucker to the naked eye looks like he hasn’t had a single thought yet today.

This, this is what I mean

reasons why kakyoin joined the sdc: wanted to be near the only other people he knew that had stands, and also wanted to figure out wtf is wrong with jotaro

My favourite Kakyoin headcannons are when it’s one or the other, on either extreme side of the scale. Like literally just a girl and then the most fucked up guy in the world. He’s either being pulled by the waist and stumbling over air to fall sexily into someone’s arms or he’s losing it, absolutely gone off the rocker. I headcannon that motherfucker knows WAY too much about dead bodies because he wanted to become a mortician (until he witnessed all those deceptated dead girls in Dio’s mansion and did a hard mental career change) so now he has so much unnecessary knowledge about embalming and shit.

So Polneraff calls him on April first all breathless like ‘Omg Kakyoin I killed someone and need help burying the body’ because, you know, he’s a funny man to his core and had already prank called everyone else for April fools. When he called Joseph with the same joke he ended up turning the tables on Polneraff like ‘Oh, so you remember? Polneraff, I’m so sorry, you’re one of my closest friends, but what you’re stand does— whether it’s an accident or not!—is your responsibility’ and freaks him out. Advol knows he’s kidding right away because Polneraff told him he buried it in the backyard the night before as if they don’t live together and Advol had to almost suffocate him last night because he was snoring so loud. Jotaro didn’t answer his phone. But Kakyoin, without missing a bit, was like ‘what stage of decomposition is it in?’

And it goes silent for a minute. ‘What?’

‘I need to know if I have to stop at Walmart to get acid, or if I need to get leak-proof bags, depending on what stage it’s in.’

And I love that because everyone knows Kakyoin is a fucking freak but they’re always caught off guard literally anytime he does anything weird. Jotaro is one of the very few people who’s equally as fucked up in different ways.

Kakyoin felt nervous sleeping over once because he didn’t want to do something wrong and scare Jotaro away and then he wakes up at like four in the morning to the hallway light on and Jotaro kneeling by a full bucket of water with a straw and star platinum because he’s a chronic insomniac and wanted to see if star platinum could suck water up like he did with Enya’s stand.

He is wearing one of those fluffy Sanrio character headbands tik tok influencers wear to wash their faces. His left eye is twitching. He has passed out multiple times from almost water boarding himself. They never speak of it again and in return Jotaro shows Kakyoin star platinum inhaling a glass of water when he figures it out.

Love fanart where Jotaro looks like this